+!* n e w s f l a s h *!+
I have a "studio" now! Well, it's more a garage/basement/place to store all my stuff and do oil changes, but if I shove all the stuff to the side and roll the car out (since the battery is dead, thank God it's a standard!) I have a nifty little thing called a roll of seamless paper and some lights that go pop and whoopee I have a studio!! Pretty cool, huh!
Ok, actually now I really DO have a REAL LIFE, HONEST TO GOODNESS, NO KIDDING, I'M SERIOUS THIS TIME FOLKS, place-where-i-pay-rent. If I didn't have so much CRAP in it it would be a studio, but it's more like an expensive storage shed with a nice sign out front. But hey, at least it's MY storage shed
*~* c a s t i n g c a l l *~*
Nothing at the moment. Unless you're a 6-foot-6, half Jamaican, half Irish and half Indian woman named Ntalia Fred who knows archery and ballet and can simultaneously juggle a bag of Doritos, an open bottle of Miller Lite, and three Flame-Sticks while baking a wedding cake. If you fit this description, CALL ME. We need to talk.
Well they say my work speaks for itself.
Actually my work doesn't speak for itself. If it did that would be creepy. Talking photos... *shudder*
LET US SHOOT:
If you're interested in shooting get in touch. TFP only cause that's the way I swing, baby. Ok, I might give a poor, starving model some gas money*, but only if you're exceptional. If you are exceptional, than you know it, so don't bother asking me if you are.
*Ok, gas money promotion is over. Gas is too damn expensive.
You can take a look at the website, but it's not finished yet so don't be too unimpressed. I don't think I even have any model photos up there yet. I'll get stuff up. Eventually. Actually I'm working my ass off but I'm only one girl and there's only so many hours in the day. Speaking of hours... it's getting late. And I've got a website to not work on. I'll fix it soon, I promise, or my name isn't SugarHoneyBambiFlora. Crap that's not my name at all.
PROJECTS:
Well I don't currently have any projects. But I'm trying hard to think of some. I'm also trying to update my style a little and nail the much-sought-after fashion magazine thingie. I think it has to do with lighting and saturation, but saturation's such a big word I have trouble pronouncing it.
I have lots of ideas bouncing around in my brain, occasionally they collide and crash and crumble, but sometimes they melt together and form something really awesome. At least I think. You're more than welcome to give me your ideas as well. I'm open to pretty much anything.
Now for the DISCLAIMER:
I really am a serious photographer. I know what a camera is. I know what lighting is. Isn't that about all there is to it? Oh, and I have a bit of ADD. But I never let that slow me down. Although this one time I was driving and I had to slow down cause I almost hit a deer. Stupid deer. GET OFF MY ROAD!
I really do want to work with you, if you're any good. Or if I think I can get good stuff. Even if your face is ugly or you're a little larger 'round the middle, there's always artistic.
So, now, onto Da Rules...
DA RULES:
1. TFP Only. I rarely got paid when I modeled so why should I pay you? If no one wants to come shoot with me I'll just take pictures of my dog. She's the next Kate Moss, I'm tellin ya.
2. Don't be late. I hate people who are always late. I am always late. Therefore, I hate myself, but that's my therapist's business.
3. Please bring an escort. Or don't. It's up to you. But if you really think a lil ole female photographer/model is going to try and strangle/stab/rape you, then maybe you just shouldn't come at all. No, seriously, bring someone if you want. I always bring an escort, whether I'm shooting or modeling. Too many bad things have happened to unprepared models. And I don't want to be tempted to do anything bad to you. A potential witness will keep me out of jail.
4. Don't bug me for your pictures. I know you really want to see the awesome stuff we shot, and I promise I will get you a CD or links all in good time, my pretty. Don't rush me, or the pics will turn out rotten. I'm an "Arteest", whatever the hell that means. I think it has something to do with being "lazy". But really, I usually do finish at least a couple photos within a day or two of the shoot, so I'll send you those to tide you over. If you want a couple prints, that can be arranged too. If you ask nicely, with sugar and a cherry on top.
5. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE bring a wardrobe! I don't know how many times I've had a model show up with nothing to wear. This gets extremely annoying as I've shot everything in my own closet, mostly on myself when I model. Especially when the model claims "no nudes" on her page. Ummmmm, ok then sweetie, I have some used curtains you can wrap up in..
Help me avoid this horribly distressing situation and bring some things. Lots of things. Bring shoes. Bring coats. Bring your grandmothers wedding dress. The more the better. Rent a van.
6. If I think of anything else I'll let you know.
THE MODELING SIDE:
I model a little on the side, so I know the pain you poor guys and gals go through. #768 - check it out. I need some new stuff. Everything up there is about a year old or so, and I'm just too damn lazy to take photos of myself. PHOTOGRAPHERS: Let me know if you want to shoot. *UPDATE!* Thanks to my friend and partner in photographic crimes, EB Anderson, I have new stuff. So the itch has been scratched for the meantime. But I'm sure it will come back again with a vengeance. Until then I'll keep applying the lotion, like the doc said.
