When I say that I'm very shy and have the worst stage fright, most people react with disbelief-they just don't see how a enthusiastic, spontaneous, dirty-mouthed wild child like me could be anywhere near the words "shy and timid". But I used to be. When I was thirteen I landed my first photo shoot. It was a complete disaster. I froze in front of the camera, the photographer kept demanding me to give more "expression", to "tell a story with my eyes" while his girlfriend cooed in the background, "make love to the camera! pretend it's that boy at school you have a crush on..." My god was that a lot of pressure. I had no idea what to do with my body, how to accentuate my shape, and what angles should I turn my head. I kept hearing, "chin up. Up. Up." It wasn't a good first experience for me. So I tossed it. Years go by and I just sit on the sideline watching other models live my dream, until I hit the high school years and I start getting tired of my comfortable little shell. I enrolled myself in drama/theater class to shove myself out of my bubble. I joined the school's drill team and was taught to work the audience and how to give them a show. By the end of my third year in high school I was exuding confidence on the stage floor. By the time I graduated, I was definitely more comfortable in my own skin. All I had to work on now was believing in my own abilities to shine! I'll just say that took almost three more years. I was so busy with college (I ended up going to UC Davis) that I pretty much just dropped the whole modeling thing. Also, I was in a relationship with a very protective man who was iffy about my dreams of modeling...so there wasn't much wiggle room for me. I wish I didn't listen to his sorry ass.
Let's fast forward to the present. In college I performed in a contemporary dance piece for the spring festival and auditioned for a few clubs. I didn't get any of them, but what was really important for me at that time was just to start getting comfortable with performing while exposing most of my body to a large and probably scrutinizing crowd. It worked. I finally landed a photo shoot so I hurried myself over to his studio and I had my first successful shoot. I was honestly nervous since memories of my first horrifying shoot kept running through my head, but I shook it off and decided that I was just going to have fun, no matter what. And I did. I enjoyed every moment of my shoot. It's definitely hard work, but I am relentless when it comes to working-if I have a goal set, then it will be done. I said YES to every suggestion, every wardrobe/hair/make up/set change, and anything to enhance my yield. My goal was for high yield, and I suppose for my first shoot, I could say that I did get what I wanted. The photographer was also patient and encouraging, which helped ease away my tension.
The reason why I am on this site is because I told my friend about what I have been trying to do-and he introduced this site to me. Although I am not a professional model, my hopes of becoming one has landed me here. I am extremely flexible and easy going; I love playing with all sorts styles and colors and costumes. Basically, my goal is to make a name for myself. I feel that I've come a long way from where I was before...and the only direction is forward.