Jen Valentino

Update 1/26/11: I've gracefully returned to the debaucherous realm of modeling. Yes, I know you're terribly excited. Interested in building a legitimate portfolio instead of casually dappling with humorous concepts, so I'm anticipating offers from unorthodox photographers with considerably high tolerance for inanity. Contact me publicly or privately to establish a harmonious plan.

Angst-free. 75% sarcasm. No botox.

My hair is tampax red and I tend to gravitate more towards the exotic and interesting. No transparently generic "yearbook" shots for this motherfucker. Nudity is not a problem whatsoever, provided that the photographer can angle out my unsightly flab -- just teasing. Erotic photography is vaguely appealing. However, since I've progressed past the sophomoric goth phase, I'd prefer something a bit more eccentric and colorful as opposed to black vinyl, morose pouting, and spiked bracelets. Don't give me grief about this; you will not win.

I have a fetish for artistic B&Ws and that smoldering, decadent couture bullshit that I cannot help but be enamored with. Also, vibrant colors and plentiful accessories, bizarre angles, political statements, art that contains charm, or that bleed understated sensuality.

Looking for photographers/stylists preferably in the New England area that are fairly laid-back (rare psychotic tendencies are fine) and with fairly low-maintainence personalities, but with high expectations and conviction behind their work.

I really loathe becoming the obnoxiously rigid model who talks about what she DOESN'T want to do, but seriously, just maintaining the positives doesn't stop a lot of really stupid offers. I have no interest in:

- Swimsuit shoots (that's actually kind of a mouthful, so I'd be REALLY pissed if you mentioned it to me, especially verbally).

- Anything involving a gas mask, angel wings, gothy paraphernalia, contrived lingerie, fake blood slathered along my tits and face, and costume-y things that you'd easily discover on an exotic dancewear website. If you're interpreting my earlier statement regarding enjoying "sensuality" as "mainstream formulaic flaunting", you're probably confused.

- Nothing in plain lighting where I simply sit around in jeans and seem to just gush how pretty I am for no apparent reason. People want to shoot me in regular daylight with my lacey bra peaking out from underneath my top, staring vacantly. Please. And I don't even wear a bra. PASS.

- No concepts. It's one thing if we've gotten to know eachother and it just becomes a casual thing, but if you're a complete stranger and we're both exchanging inquisitive "Soooo... uhh.. what should we do for a shoot?" in person it's incredibly distracting. Develop a concept with me so we can eliminate that unnecessary tension, I'm a novice so I don't "wing it" yet.

I have NO spectacular portfolio/professional pictures featured here yet, considering I'm pretty novice. Hopefully you can check out the face/hair/body to work with, and decide accordingly. I'm interested in building a portfolio, ya dig?