the lonely photographer

I am a professional GWC,  just another  guy with a camera. I call myself "The lonelyphotographer"..  I'm the Rodney Dangerfield of photographers.  I get no respect . When a casting call goes  out for an awesome photographer,  i thought it said AWFUL, so  I raised my my hand,  I get  awesome and awful mixed up. When I started shooting,  I  begged a model to shoot with , she said ok  and gave me an address  and told me go inside  and wait for her. I got there late and couldn't find the address.  I asked a cop  if he knew where the building was. He told me they just finished dynamiteing the  building and  bulldozing whats left of it. I tried taking a dog to the park to meet pretty models,  I found out the dog was using me to meet other dogs. I remember my first shoot , I went up into the Empire State building with my model and airplanes started to attack her!
I bought  a mannequin, but  her arms fell off! Why when I tried shooting a inflatable date, it sprung a leak! I thought I got lucky when a guy called me up and said he wanted a family picture, turns out it was a family of pigs! I gave up on bacon after that.

Why are models so hard to come by? I even offered to pay one to shoot,  she promptly doubled my money and told me to go away! I tried shooting street scenes , I asked a homeless guy if I could shoot him, he handed me the cup full of change he had and told me to go away.