ColdWomen-KillerRabbits

For 13 months I was held captive by a French Canadian hillbilly named Robyn DeCradle who kept me chained up in his dark, damp, filthy crawlspace. I was frequently cattle-prodded out of the crawlspace and into his kitchen to photograph his victims, women who he'd abducted and refrigerated. I eventually escaped and was recovering from the sordid, traumatic experience I'd lived through when, one beautiful summer afternoon, I was walking down a peaceful path in the woods and fell into this rabbit hole. I am now being forced to take photographs of the victims of a long-earred flea-ridden fiend who collects women's feet and turns them into keychains. The rabbit is always looking for new victims and lately I have caught him staring at my ankles incessantly. Truly I tell you, I need help. All I ever wanted to do was to create tranquility-inspiring images of beauty and classiness. Dig?