Forums > Model Colloquy > No, it's YOU disappointing ME

Model

Dances with Wolves

Posts: 25108

SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US

Nude modeling.
Glamour modeling.
Art modeling.
Showing any skin whatsoever....

Countless threads on "my family/boyfriend/husband/girlfriend doesn't approve and it hurts...what do I do?"

Has anyone ever thought to say to that person or those people that it's THEM disappointing YOU and not the other way around?

Why is it that people in our lives feel that it's simply perfect for them to tell us how we should conduct our modeling (i.e. nudes and not doing nudes) and it's not OK for us to be upset with them? Why do THEY get to be upset with US but we don't get to be upset and disappointed at how close minded they are?

Folks- if there is a person in your life, or people that say they can't handle your modeling (Esp. for you nude models out there) then express to them that you are hurt by that and move on. )Put it on them. Don't sit there and say "how do I handle this because my so-and-so doesn't approve", but instead say to that so-and-so that YOU don't approve of THEIR negativity toward modeling nude or just modeling in general.

I'm disappointed in those that are close to models and don't support them. I think it's bullshit. I think it's the models that should be upset and not their family or friends or significant others.

I'm just tired of these threads.

You don't approve of my modeling? I don't approve of you.
It's YOU disappointing ME.

Try that next time someone gives you crap. That doesn't work? Walk away.

/rant.

Dec 27 07 12:08 pm Link

Model

Rachel Jay

Posts: 20356

Hoffman Estates, Illinois, US

:stands up and applauds:

VERY well-said!  I agree 100%!

Dec 27 07 12:09 pm Link

Photographer

ward

Posts: 6139

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Daniela Victoria  wrote:

Exactly. *Claps* smile

Dec 27 07 12:10 pm Link

Model

-S-

Posts: 283

Boston, Massachusetts, US

Awesome!!! I totally agree.

Dec 27 07 12:11 pm Link

Photographer

JEBKA Photography

Posts: 3974

Firestone, Colorado, US

Daniela,

You disappoint me that you won't fly to Colorado on your dime and show some skin smile

Not today....  It's snowing  smile

Dec 27 07 12:11 pm Link

Photographer

Abby Vermouse

Posts: 65

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Well said! I support this 100%.

Dec 27 07 12:12 pm Link

Photographer

swhnyc

Posts: 1327

New York, New York, US

I'm buying you a sash and a crown.  I wish more people had this kind of self-assuredness.

Too many members on here (and everywhere, really) allow their family, friends, significant others, etc. to become crutches due to their insecurities, and need everyone's approval.  Hell with that.

Dec 27 07 12:12 pm Link

Photographer

fstopdreams

Posts: 4300

Chattanooga, Tennessee, US

Daniela Victoria  wrote:
You don't approve of my modeling? I don't approve of you.
It's YOU disappointing ME.

Try that next time someone gives you crap. That doesn't work? Walk away.

/rant.

Sadly, you will always be in the minority thinking this way.

Dec 27 07 12:13 pm Link

Model

MelissaLynnette LaDiva

Posts: 50816

Leawood, Kansas, US

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j59/sionprincess/Smileys%20etc/applause.gif

Dec 27 07 12:13 pm Link

Model

Daphne Damage

Posts: 610

Altoona, Alabama, US

*stands on chair and claps*

Dec 27 07 12:14 pm Link

Model

Dances with Wolves

Posts: 25108

SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US

swhnyc wrote:
I'm buying you a sash and a crown.  I wish more people had this kind of self-assuredness.

I so need a new tiara.

Cause you know I have one. LOL.

Dec 27 07 12:15 pm Link

Model

Dances with Wolves

Posts: 25108

SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US

Trevor Snyder wrote:

Sadly, you will always be in the minority thinking this way.

That shouldn't be the case.

I wanna start a movement.

Fuck close minded assholes who think their opinions are the only ones that matter.

Is that too long of a title?

Dec 27 07 12:15 pm Link

Model

The_N_Word

Posts: 5067

New York, New York, US

I am a Caribbean only daughter surrounded by brothers and male first cousins.

My parents are fine with my commercial work of course, but my glamour work and nudes....

they don't support.

and believe me, I understand.

Dec 27 07 12:16 pm Link

Model

MsHeidi

Posts: 2081

Jessheim, Akershus, Norway

Hmm...yes he is!

Thanks!

smile

Dec 27 07 12:16 pm Link

Model

Ree Ja

Posts: 1127

New York, New York, US

Damn skippy!

Dec 27 07 12:16 pm Link

Photographer

Rob Domaschuk

Posts: 5715

Naperville, Illinois, US

Been there.

My ex-wife once said to me, "you're lucky that I am so nice and let you shoot nudes."

WTF!?!?!  'let' me???

It's not about moral issues... it's not about 'what will the family think?'... it's not about it being a 'sin'... It is about power and how the spouse/sig other feels that they need to have power and control over you.

After you let them know that they can have that kind of control, they will see what other areas of your life that they don't like and make you give that up, too.

"It's ____ or me - you have to choose" is a form of emotional abuse.

Period.

Dec 27 07 12:16 pm Link

Photographer

Alexander's Fine Art

Posts: 12740

Reading, Pennsylvania, US

Hear Hear!  Three cheers for Daniela!  smile

Dec 27 07 12:17 pm Link

Photographer

New Dawn Photography

Posts: 3015

San Ramon, California, US

Sorry, but anything you do that someone else wouldn't is just plain wrong! This is America, you can't just go around having an opinion that differs from others and not expect to chastized for it. Besides, what you do is easy. All you do is take your clothes off, smile and look pretty. There is no hard work or talent involved and if God had meant for you to be naked, you would have been born that way.

Dec 27 07 12:18 pm Link

Model

ErinTheArtist

Posts: 306

Oakland, California, US

I definitely agree too!

I ran into this crap with my grandmother and part of my family. The other half (like my dad and mom.....are totally cool with it.....or at least they tell me that). I still have to deal with it often.....but no sweat....I have been telling them that I will do what makes me happy for years.

Why live life and not be happy? I support myself and my own decisions....without needing approval from others. At least I will be smiling on my deathbed. big_smile

Dec 27 07 12:18 pm Link

Model

Dances with Wolves

Posts: 25108

SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US

The_N_Word  wrote:
I am a Caribbean only daughter surrounded by brothers and male first cousins.

My parents are fine with my commercial work of course, but my glamour work and nudes....

they don't support.

and believe me, I understand.

I'm so glad I disowned my family on Christmas.

No more "she's a whore" stuff to deal with.

I found it hysterical that none of them knew about Playboy- and yet all my friends here and everywhere knew about it immediately.

It says something when you'll share that with your friends and not your family. Really does.

Dec 27 07 12:19 pm Link

Model

Marisa Rojo

Posts: 579

Ocean Grove, New Jersey, US

Get her a throne! applauds!!!!! Long live people with fresh views on an age old issue...Where is Biana?

Dec 27 07 12:19 pm Link

Photographer

Rob Domaschuk

Posts: 5715

Naperville, Illinois, US

New Dawn Photography wrote:
Sorry, but anything you do that someone else wouldn't is just plain wrong! This is America, you can't just go around having an opinion that differs from others and not expect to chastized for it. Besides, what you do is easy. All you do is take your clothes off, smile and look pretty. There is no hard work or talent involved and if God had meant for you to be naked, you would have been born that way.

I suddenly got The Life of Brian stuck in my head...

(crowd) "Yes, we're all individuals... ...yes, we're all different!"

(lone voice) "I'm not"

Dec 27 07 12:23 pm Link

Photographer

Creativity Farm

Posts: 1769

Westville, New Jersey, US

Damn.... why couldn't she take part in the presidential debates.

Dec 27 07 12:23 pm Link

Model

MelissaLynnette LaDiva

Posts: 50816

Leawood, Kansas, US

Daniela Victoria  wrote:

I'm so glad I disowned my family on Christmas.

No more "she's a whore" stuff to deal with.

I found it hysterical that none of them knew about Playboy- and yet all my friends here and everywhere knew about it immediately.

It says something when you'll share that with your friends and not your family. Really does.

In some cases, families are who they are.  I doubt my grandfather or any of my daddy's family would be anywhere near as accepting of naked Melissa as my mother is.  But....in my grandfather's case, I would understand and just not mention it if he were still alive. 
My daddy's family can bite me.

Dec 27 07 12:23 pm Link

Model

Dances with Wolves

Posts: 25108

SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US

Creativity Farm wrote:
Damn.... why couldn't she take part in the presidential debates.

Dec 27 07 12:24 pm Link

Photographer

UIPHOTOS

Posts: 3591

Dayton, Ohio, US

Trevor Snyder wrote:
Sadly, you will always be in the minority thinking this way.

Daniela Victoria  wrote:
That shouldn't be the case.

I wanna start a movement.

Fuck close minded assholes who think their opinions are the only ones that matter.

Is that too long of a title?

Sadly these same people who claim to be in the majority end up mad at themselves in the long run for buying into others beliefs about THEIR behavior..

That same behavior that they justify as "caring" more often than not is labeled "controlling" in the divorce papers or when they talk to their friends after the breakup..

But like a lot of the "sheep like" behavior people follow, this is no different..

A friend of mine told me years ago that I would NEVER find a wife shooting the things that I do.. that NO woman would be comfy with me taking pictures of other nude women.. and my response was "I wouldnt want to marry someone who was that insecure in our relationship that this would be an issue"..

In the long run, life is OURS to live and those we SHARE our lives with should be suppotive of the life we choose or they should choose someone else to share THEIRS with..

Sadly too many women blame LOVE for their choices.. When Love wouldnt make you choose..

Dec 27 07 12:24 pm Link

Photographer

New Dawn Photography

Posts: 3015

San Ramon, California, US

Rob Domaschuk wrote:

I suddenly got The Life of Brian stuck in my head...

(crowd) "Yes, we're all individuals... ...yes, we're all different!"

(lone voice) "I'm not"

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Dec 27 07 12:25 pm Link

Model

Kristen Jeanne

Posts: 5770

Pinardville, New Hampshire, US

Daniela Victoria  wrote:

That shouldn't be the case.

I wanna start a movement.

Fuck close minded assholes who think their opinions are the only ones that matter.

Is that too long of a title?

I don't wanna fuck them sad

I'll kick them instead smile

Dec 27 07 12:27 pm Link

Model

Rachel Jay

Posts: 20356

Hoffman Estates, Illinois, US

New Dawn Photography wrote:
Sorry, but anything you do that someone else wouldn't is just plain wrong! This is America, you can't just go around having an opinion that differs from others and not expect to chastized for it. Besides, what you do is easy. All you do is take your clothes off, smile and look pretty. There is no hard work or talent involved and if God had meant for you to be naked, you would have been born that way.

Were you being sarcastic here?

If not, I'm going to dig up some popcorn and M&Ms (and yes, I'll share).

(Edit: I just caught the last line, which I didn't read before going "ut oh!" lol )

Dec 27 07 12:27 pm Link

Model

Tiffany x

Posts: 81

Miami, Arizona, US

I don't know.I quit modeling 2 years ago because  I coludn't take it.People were telling me I am whore all the time:-(I like my pics but I don't like if somebody who knows me can see them...

Dec 27 07 12:27 pm Link

Photographer

Steve Bruno

Posts: 102

New York, New York, US

Way too smart for that!

Creativity Farm wrote:
Damn.... why couldn't she take part in the presidential debates.

Dec 27 07 12:28 pm Link

Model

Dances with Wolves

Posts: 25108

SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US

UIPHOTOS wrote:
Sadly too many women blame LOVE for their choices.. When Love wouldnt make you choose..

Those women are idiots.

If you're already in a relationship and decide to take on a new adventure i.e. shooting nudes- discussion is fine but you're supposed to support those that you care about.

You don't support me? Then you don't care. And I won't care in return.

Dec 27 07 12:28 pm Link

Photographer

Z_Photo

Posts: 6997

Huntsville, Alabama, US

Daniela Victoria  wrote:

I so need a new tiara.

Cause you know I have one. LOL.

TFTiara

Dec 27 07 12:28 pm Link

Model

Dances with Wolves

Posts: 25108

SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US

Tiffany x wrote:
People were telling me I am whore all the time.

Isn't the definition of a whore someone that sleeps around?

Were your pictures showing you fucking a bunch of different people? No.

Throw dictionaries at those assholes calling you a whore.

Dec 27 07 12:29 pm Link

Photographer

New Dawn Photography

Posts: 3015

San Ramon, California, US

Rachel Jay wrote:

Were you being sarcastic here?

If not, I'm going to dig up some popcorn and M&Ms (and yes, I'll share).

(Edit: I just caught the last line, which I didn't read before going "ut oh!" lol )

smile Glad you caught it! Although, popcorn and M&Ms still sound good!

Dec 27 07 12:33 pm Link

Model

Tiffany x

Posts: 81

Miami, Arizona, US

Daniela Victoria  wrote:

Isn't the definition of a whore someone that sleeps around?

Were your pictures showing you fucking a bunch of different people? No.

Throw dictionaries at those assholes calling you a whore.

All I do is going to school and taking care of my baby.But they are still looking for pictures on internet then they find me and tell me I am whore:-(.

Dec 27 07 12:33 pm Link

Model

Dances with Wolves

Posts: 25108

SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US

Tiffany x wrote:

All I do is going to school and taking care of my baby.But they are still looking for pictures on internet then they find me and tell me I am whore:-(.

Tell them they are ugly and move on.

Dec 27 07 12:35 pm Link

Photographer

New Dawn Photography

Posts: 3015

San Ramon, California, US

Daniela Victoria  wrote:

Tell them they are ugly and move on.

...or ask them what they're doing spending all of their time looking at nudes on the web...

Dec 27 07 12:37 pm Link

Model

The_N_Word

Posts: 5067

New York, New York, US

Daniela Victoria  wrote:
Tell them they are ugly and move on.

I prefer to say "Your head is big and you are fat".

Dec 27 07 12:37 pm Link

Photographer

JEBKA Photography

Posts: 3974

Firestone, Colorado, US

New Dawn Photography wrote:

...or ask them what they're doing spending all of their time looking at nudes on the web...

Good point.

Dec 27 07 12:38 pm Link