Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > Suicide and Violence Help Thread

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 14 12 07:30 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Post hidden on Jan 08, 2013 01:41 pm
Reason: other
Comments:
Anonymity request of quoted poster.

Jun 14 12 07:46 pm Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24821

Tampa, Florida, US

I swear the way this site is one mega malfunction really makes me want to give up and end it
(Yes this is kinda a joke,and yes this site has an uncanny way of screwing up when I'm desperately trying to set up a last second shoot and have to go through preliminary PMs,check ports,weed out the ones I don't want...)

Jun 14 12 07:54 pm Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 14 12 07:59 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Chris Rifkin wrote:
I swear the way this site is one mega malfunction really makes me want to give up and end it
(Yes this is kinda a joke,and yes this site has an uncanny way of screwing up when I'm desperately trying to set up a last second shoot and have to go through preliminary PMs,check ports,weed out the ones I don't want...)

Hi Chris! I'm sorry you are getting frustrated. I think there's been a lot of that lately and I don't have a clue what can be done about it. I'm still trying to get where I can walk unaided so I haven't had the pleasure of a shoot in a long time. I certainly hope that when I can the process of finding just the right model works properly. Let me know if I can help! Take care my friend!

Tim

Jun 14 12 08:03 pm Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Bump!

Morning, everyone. Hope all is well and spirits are high!

Jun 15 12 08:03 am Link

Model

Phane

Posts: 2051

Rockville, Maryland, US

Just tried to post here I go again
Its been awhile since ave been on here I suffer from depression this week has been stressful and ave been in and out of anxiety moving out and moving in twice and taking a huge hit to my self esteem these past few days I feel worthless like another wannabee


am not thinking healthy thoughts

Jun 16 12 08:51 am Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24821

Tampa, Florida, US

meh..sucks when the best part of the weekend you look foward to is going to sleep

Jun 16 12 05:12 pm Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 16 12 05:21 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Phane wrote:
Just tried to post here I go again
Its been awhile since ave been on here I suffer from depression this week has been stressful and ave been in and out of anxiety moving out and moving in twice and taking a huge hit to my self esteem these past few days I feel worthless like another wannabee


am not thinking healthy thoughts

Hi Phane! I'm sorry you are dealing with the depression. There was a period when I stayed offline recently as I was so deep in my depression I couldn't operate the computer.

Now that I am getting proper medical help for my PTSD and depression I've learned that self-esteem lies like a dog. Self-esteem finds what makes you feel bad about yourself and ramps it up times a thousand. You are a beautiful talented person of value. Start with that attitude about yourself and forget any lies your mind makes up about you. You know that you can message me if you wanna talk. I think life can be harder for us creative types. Sometimes talking it out can help. There are people here who care Phane!

Tim

Jun 16 12 05:24 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Chris Rifkin wrote:
meh..sucks when the best part of the weekend you look foward to is going to sleep

Hi Chris, I know you deal with a lot of depression. You know my whole story so I feel like we both know what the other is dealing with sometimes. My therapist has been doing something with me for the past few weeks that has been really helpful. Maybe you will get some benefit from it as well. It does require a little thousand and a pad and pen.

When I wake up in the depression hole I write down what I am feeling and I try to find a trigger that may have put me there. Since I have the disease of depression I don't need a trigger but its good to look just in case. Then I think about one little thing I can physically do that would be pleasurable to me. It might be to take a shower or get ice cream or to make a new friend. All of that is easy if you want it to happen. Let me know if I can help Chris. Feel free to PM me if you wanna talk. I might be away from the computer for a while but I always check back in. Please take care of yourself my friend! You have people here who care about you!

Tim

Jun 16 12 05:33 pm Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24821

Tampa, Florida, US

My triggers are unfortunately things in everyday life that remind me how lonely I am,whether it be on FB,on TV,online,or when I'm all alone wandering a mall or getting some sushi,seeing couples in love,watching people find love and wondering why the fuck can't I ever be in the right place at the right time for this to happen.Then getting another bitchslap of reality that I'm just a piece of shit loser trucker no matter how attractive I am and how physicly in shape I am or financially secure I am when I walk into a truck stop to refuel,and see "my people",see what truckers generally have to settle for if they want any woman in their life(to the person who said that many truckers are married,go out to a truck stop and watch for about an hour,and see what they are married to,maybe it workds for these guys because they have conditioned themselves over the years to that kind of woman but it is impossible for me to lower my standards in any way and be happy,and I can guarentee most are not that happy at all,they are just "content").

Jun 17 12 08:04 am Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Some days come upon us and we are numb to them. The heat from our struggles is too suffocating. Still each day does bring with it new opportunities to fight back, overcome, win battles and reclaim our lives... even when we're too weary to look for them.

One phrase that I refuse to accept is "I can't."
Yeah, I've had many, many times when I don't feel like it, but even then I don't accept it.  On those days, I may not find enough strength to flex, but in my heart, at the core of my soul.. I hold out. I hold on.

Yesterday, I was struggling badly. Then I was attacked with that phrase and I responded with "Yes I can." I'm not going to tell you it was an easy walk, but my day ended with some pretty good WIN's.

Jun 18 12 08:12 am Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 18 12 08:23 am Link

Model

Phane

Posts: 2051

Rockville, Maryland, US

Post hidden on Jan 08, 2013 01:43 pm
Reason: other
Comments:
Anonymity request of quoted poster.

Jun 19 12 09:22 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Jun 19 12 12:22 pm Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 19 12 12:37 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Jun 19 12 12:46 pm Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 19 12 03:13 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Hi Everyone. I seem to have had an event occur during a period when I was having what I call a "PTSD" moment. To explain the best I can. Due to some emotional triggers, and me not having $20 dollars to my name to buy some medicine, My Post Traumatic Stress Disorder didn't get the normal suppression it gets. So, I went off in a safe but emotionally violent manner. This all occurred without me having any memory of it. It's called a dissociative state where I have no knowledge of what I am doing. I don't even know if I am still in the "D" State. If I rip someone to shreads online for something that offends me then most likely I am in a sense "out of my mind"

In the case of the S&V thread I knew it was a safe place and I know I wrote some stuff there. I'm afraid to read it.  From the Private messages I have It appears I became hyper honest.

Anyway. I am safe. Don't worry about me trying to hurt anyone or myself. If I can ever get the money to get my meds I will be totally safe. But that ain't gonna happen unless bucks fall out of the sky and into my lap.

If I scared anyone I'm sorry. Now you know what my life is like and I hope you see why I try to be there for others in their pain. Love to you all. Really, I love you all! I hate injustice when people attack and laugh at others because they are different. I'm very different. So I tend to be protective when I can.

Jun 19 12 03:39 pm Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 19 12 03:41 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Post hidden on Jan 08, 2013 01:43 pm
Reason: other
Comments:
Anonymity request of quoted poster.

Jun 20 12 08:27 am Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24821

Tampa, Florida, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:
Hi Everyone. I seem to have had an event occur during a period when I was having what I call a "PTSD" moment. To explain the best I can. Due to some emotional triggers, and me not having $20 dollars to my name to buy some medicine, My Post Traumatic Stress Disorder didn't get the normal suppression it gets. So, I went off in a safe but emotionally violent manner. This all occurred without me having any memory of it. It's called a dissociative state where I have no knowledge of what I am doing. I don't even know if I am still in the "D" State. If I rip someone to shreads online for something that offends me then most likely I am in a sense "out of my mind"

In the case of the S&V thread I knew it was a safe place and I know I wrote some stuff there. I'm afraid to read it.  From the Private messages I have It appears I became hyper honest.

Anyway. I am safe. Don't worry about me trying to hurt anyone or myself. If I can ever get the money to get my meds I will be totally safe. But that ain't gonna happen unless bucks fall out of the sky and into my lap.

If I scared anyone I'm sorry. Now you know what my life is like and I hope you see why I try to be there for others in their pain. Love to you all. Really, I love you all! I hate injustice when people attack and laugh at others because they are different. I'm very different. So I tend to be protective when I can.

In a way you illustrated to many what I go through when my lonliness is triggered by something and the absolute pain I feel for not feeling love or experiencing this feeling since my first girlfriend passed away,and the utter helplessness I feel knowing that there is no one even close to my radar that could fufill this,and the absolute hurt that I want to experience this now,the hurt when I see fb status' of people doing activities I missed out on in my younger years that I will never in all likelyhood experience ...
You see little hints of it in here....but the pain is horrific,and it seems there is no solution..

Don't be ashamed of showing what you did in here because you in all likelyhood showed what many experience that is never shown,I know I felt it(and many here know I have not been doing well lately)

Jun 20 12 08:40 am Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 20 12 10:34 am Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Bump.

Jun 21 12 08:30 am Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 22 12 08:21 am Link

Model

Jules NYC

Posts: 16999

New York, New York, US

Chris Rifkin wrote:

In a way you illustrated to many what I go through when my lonliness is triggered by something and the absolute pain I feel for not feeling love or experiencing this feeling since my first girlfriend passed away,and the utter helplessness I feel knowing that there is no one even close to my radar that could fufill this,and the absolute hurt that I want to experience this now,the hurt when I see fb status' of people doing activities I missed out on in my younger years that I will never in all likelyhood experience ...
You see little hints of it in here....but the pain is horrific,and it seems there is no solution..

Don't be ashamed of showing what you did in here because you in all likelyhood showed what many experience that is never shown,I know I felt it(and many here know I have not been doing well lately)

This is the issue you need to work on to change everything.

Jun 22 12 08:27 am Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Post hidden on Jan 08, 2013 01:44 pm
Reason: other
Comments:
Anonymity request of quoted poster.

Jun 24 12 06:57 pm Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 26 12 08:59 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Sorry to have been away y'all. I've been in the hospital and just got out a few minutes ago. I hope everyone is doing well. I'm much better!

Jun 26 12 12:16 pm Link

Photographer

A S Photography

Posts: 1218

Newark, Delaware, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:
Sorry to have been away y'all. I've been in the hospital and just got out a few minutes ago. I hope everyone is doing well. I'm much better!

Hi Tim,

Glad to hear you're doing better.

Jun 26 12 05:07 pm Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Jun 27 12 01:19 pm Link

Model

hgldhlhgfh

Posts: 576

Dumont d'Urville - permanent station of France, Sector claimed by France, Antarctica

Bump.

Jun 29 12 08:46 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Once again many of us are facing another day of dangerous heat. Do what you need to protect yourself and others. Remember, the effects of prolonged heat exposure add up.

"Symptoms of heat exhaustion include profuse sweating, weakness, nausea, vomiting, headache, lightheadedness, and muscle cramps.
Heat exhaustion can progress to heat stroke when the body's temperature regulation fails. The affected individual becomes confused, lethargic and may have a seizure, the skin stops sweating and the body temperature may exceed 106 F (41 C ). This is a life-threatening condition and emergency medical attention is needed immediately.
Treatment for heat exhaustion includes recognizing the symptoms, stopping the activity, and moving to a cooler environment. Rehydration with water or a sports drink is the cornerstone of treatment for heat exhaustion. If nausea or vomiting prevents the affected individual from drinking enough water, intravenous fluids may be required."

My AC is broken so I'm still riding it out all of y'all in the same boat. Cool, safe places you can go include indoor shopping malls and libraries. I'm lucky, I live in a high rise with a beautiful lobby downstairs.

Stay cool everyone! I love you all.

Tim

Jul 01 12 07:21 am Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:
Once again many of us are facing another day of dangerous heat. Do what you need to protect yourself and others. Remember, the effects of prolonged heat exposure add up.

"Symptoms of heat exhaustion include profuse sweating, weakness, nausea, vomiting, headache, lightheadedness, and muscle cramps.
Heat exhaustion can progress to heat stroke when the body's temperature regulation fails. The affected individual becomes confused, lethargic and may have a seizure, the skin stops sweating and the body temperature may exceed 106 F (41 C ). This is a life-threatening condition and emergency medical attention is needed immediately.
Treatment for heat exhaustion includes recognizing the symptoms, stopping the activity, and moving to a cooler environment. Rehydration with water or a sports drink is the cornerstone of treatment for heat exhaustion. If nausea or vomiting prevents the affected individual from drinking enough water, intravenous fluids may be required."

My AC is broken so I'm still riding it out all of y'all in the same boat. Cool, safe places you can go include indoor shopping malls and libraries. I'm lucky, I live in a high rise with a beautiful lobby downstairs.

Stay cool everyone! I love you all.

Tim

Were you affected by that storm on the east coast?

Jul 01 12 07:46 am Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

C Nox wrote:
Bump.

Bump

Jul 01 12 07:46 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11662

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Star Child wrote:

Were you affected by that storm on the east coast?

Hi Star! Not in a bad way at all. In my area we got a nice windy lightening storm and some much needed rain. It's been very dry in Delaware and the farmers needed it.

Jul 01 12 08:04 am Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:

Hi Star! Not in a bad way at all. In my area we got a nice windy lightening storm and some much needed rain. It's been very dry in Delaware and the farmers needed it.

Yayness!

My sister is here visiting for a week. There is much joy in my household right now.

Jul 01 12 08:19 am Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24821

Tampa, Florida, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:
My AC is broken so I'm still riding it out all of y'all in the same boat. Cool, safe places you can go include indoor shopping malls and libraries. I'm lucky, I live in a high rise with a beautiful lobby downstairs.

Tim

My AC is broken,and because my home is going to be reposessed in a few months(the final anvil that my ex caused on me to me to have dropped on my head then what I have to do to protect myself from the extreme debt that I will have that can be collected on)I am in the same boat.I got a room here in Sarasota as I have 2 shoots this weekend,and I have slept in my truck when I have been home(kinda like I will be doing for a year or so until my credit clears up)

Jul 01 12 09:00 am Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24821

Tampa, Florida, US

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lu9Ycq64Gy4
30 years later this song hits me so hard,this litterally was me in the video escaping my world of hell,right down to the exact video game I would spend 3 to 4 hours on with one quarter..
30 years later this is still me sad

Jul 01 12 09:02 am Link