Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > Suicide and Violence Help Thread

Photographer

Photos 4 The Memories

Posts: 1287

Kewaskum, Wisconsin, US

I just wanted to say that right now I am feeling happy! Tired and exhausted but happy! I really hope it last. Just wanted to share this.
Star please dont stop posting here! I enjoy reading your post!

Feb 04 13 05:48 pm Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24643

Tampa, Florida, US

Same here actually.The power of live heavy metal does wonders...
Especially when not only does one of my favorite musicians kill it tonight(Devin Townsend)
but he remembers me from the last time I saw his band in 2002 and actually asked if I ever released the music I was working on back then(I said no and hilarity ensued)
FYI,Devin is dealing with what we are all dealing with in here,and his first few albums were quite painful....

Feb 04 13 07:15 pm Link

Photographer

Photos 4 The Memories

Posts: 1287

Kewaskum, Wisconsin, US

I am finally taking the first step to getting better. Made an appointment for blood test tomorrow and will find out the results next week Monday.

Feb 11 13 11:56 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

I'm proud of you Russ. I'm proud and honored that we are friends. What you learn and experience as you overcome you will use to help others. That's the kind of man you are.

Feb 11 13 02:53 pm Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Chris Rifkin wrote:
Same here actually.The power of live heavy metal does wonders...
Especially when not only does one of my favorite musicians kill it tonight(Devin Townsend)
but he remembers me from the last time I saw his band in 2002 and actually asked if I ever released the music I was working on back then(I said no and hilarity ensued)
FYI,Devin is dealing with what we are all dealing with in here,and his first few albums were quite painful....

this is kind of cool

Feb 11 13 11:44 pm Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Photos 4 The Memories  wrote:
I am finally taking the first step to getting better. Made an appointment for blood test tomorrow and will find out the results next week Monday.

Kick it! smile

Feb 11 13 11:44 pm Link

Photographer

Patrick Walberg

Posts: 42754

Salinas, California, US

Photos 4 The Memories  wrote:
I just wanted to say that right now I am feeling happy! Tired and exhausted but happy! I really hope it last. Just wanted to share this.
Star please dont stop posting here! I enjoy reading your post!

Where is the "Love" button for this?  Well I'll make one!  wink

Feb 12 13 12:20 am Link

Model

Caperucita Roja

Posts: 11544

Plymouth, England, United Kingdom

Argh... someone please please help me. I'm at my whits end here, I don't know what I can do anymore.

My boyfriend has been super super depressed for the last few months. But he outright refuses to talk about it to me or anyone- and I've seriously tried so many times, but if I push and push he becomes a really mean person and I can't take that anymore.

He barely leaves the house, he's driven away every last friend he has, he's not particularly close to his family. He's completely isolated himself and claims not to be bothered about it... although I know that's a lie.

Every Saturday night he buys himself a cheap bottle of wine and gets drunk by himself. While I don't think this makes him an alcoholic, he's certainly developed some sort of small dependency on the alcohol to get him through the weekend. And the worst part is the alcohol makes him a nicer person!

I'm literally all he has, and we live in different countries and only see eachother every few months.

I don't know what to do. I used to be worried he was going to kill himself but now I'm not sure, now I don't think he feels anything.

I don't know what to do or where to turn. Maybe it would just be better to wait it out and he'll get through this soon...

Feb 12 13 05:46 am Link

Photographer

Kyle T Edwards

Posts: 434

St Catharines, Ontario, Canada

Caperucita, here's a whole bunch of questions for you:

> Did something set him off that you know of?
> What's he "normally" like?
> How long have you known him?
> Apart from the increased alcohol intake and the isolation, do you know of any other changes in his habits?
> Do you know why he's not particularly close to his family?
> Has he had any history of suicidal attempts/ideations or self-injury?

Without understanding his patterns, it's hard to even guess if this is an episode of depression, or if it's possibly something more long-term, like bipolar disorder, in which the depression episodes can last for months at a time.

And no, I'm no mental health professional.

Feb 12 13 07:57 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Caperucita Roja wrote:
Argh... someone please please help me. I'm at my whits end here, I don't know what I can do anymore.

My boyfriend has been super super depressed for the last few months. But he outright refuses to talk about it to me or anyone- and I've seriously tried so many times, but if I push and push he becomes a really mean person and I can't take that anymore.

He barely leaves the house, he's driven away every last friend he has, he's not particularly close to his family. He's completely isolated himself and claims not to be bothered about it... although I know that's a lie.

Every Saturday night he buys himself a cheap bottle of wine and gets drunk by himself. While I don't think this makes him an alcoholic, he's certainly developed some sort of small dependency on the alcohol to get him through the weekend. And the worst part is the alcohol makes him a nicer person!

I'm literally all he has, and we live in different countries and only see eachother every few months.

I don't know what to do. I used to be worried he was going to kill himself but now I'm not sure, now I don't think he feels anything.

I don't know what to do or where to turn. Maybe it would just be better to wait it out and he'll get through this soon...

I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in Caperucita but you are doing the right thing to reach out for help.

The very first thing you have to do is accept the fact that there is only so much you can do. You have to accept that you are not the cause of the problem and you cannot fix him. Clearly you love him and want to help him but understand that he has to come to the point where he take responsibility for himself.

There is a resource that will be very helpful for you. It is Al anon. It is the companion group for Alcoholics Anonymous. It is an international group for the loved ones of those who are or MAY be dependent on alcohol. Here is the UK link to find a local group for you.

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Now the thing is. Even if he has a drinking problem or not, they will have the information on local resources for you to address his depression issues.  Depression is a disease. It isn't something that just goes away. You cannot "wait it out".  Your boyfriend needs help. Clearly you know that. Al anon will be able to give you local information that can help him.

I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and that comes with massive depression. But I am taking medication and in therapy. I say this just so you know what my background on this stuff is. Please feel free to private message me anytime you want if you feel a need to unburden yourself or any other reason. I am happy to help.

He is very lucky to have a girlfriend like you!

Feb 12 13 08:35 am Link

Photographer

BlueMoonPics

Posts: 4441

New York, New York, US

Caperucita Roja wrote:

He barely leaves the house, he's driven away every last friend he has, he's not particularly close to his family. He's completely isolated himself and claims not to be bothered about it... although I know that's a lie.

I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend Caperucita. I hope things get better for both of you.

I have a weird question based on the snippet above.
Basically she described me in that paragraph.
Except for forums and the occasional model shoot, I have no social interaction.
I don't drink or do drugs or anything though.
Can someone be depressed and not know it?

Feb 12 13 09:19 am Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24643

Tampa, Florida, US

BlueMoonPics wrote:

I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend Caperucita. I hope things get better for both of you.

I have a weird question based on the snippet above.
Basically she described me in that paragraph.
Except for forums and the occasional model shoot, I have no social interaction.
I don't drink or do drugs or anything though.
Can someone be depressed and not know it?

When I read your posts it looks like I'm writing them....
you just have done a good job surpressing the depression

Feb 12 13 10:07 am Link

Photographer

Kyle T Edwards

Posts: 434

St Catharines, Ontario, Canada

BlueMoonPics wrote:
I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend Caperucita. I hope things get better for both of you.

I have a weird question based on the snippet above.
Basically she described me in that paragraph.
Except for forums and the occasional model shoot, I have no social interaction.
I don't drink or do drugs or anything though.
Can someone be depressed and not know it?

Generally, not.  Depression's something that, even if you can hide it from others, it doesn't hide from you.  There are plenty of other things that contribute to a lack of social interaction that aren't depression, (one example that I know well, Avoidant PD), so if you don't feel depressed, take comfort in the fact that you probably aren't depressed!

Feb 12 13 11:09 am Link

Model

Phane

Posts: 2048

Rockville, Maryland, US

having  a hard three days feeling really down just looking for encouragement

plz just pm me thanks

Feb 19 13 06:12 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Phane wrote:
having  a hard three days feeling really down just looking for encouragement

plz just pm me thanks

PM sent

Feb 19 13 10:04 am Link

Model

LizzyB

Posts: 2202

Rochester, New York, US

i'm not suicidal, just sometimes/often feel the lack of willpower to live.

i have had anxiety and depression for at least 10 years now, and recently self-diagnosed myself as having some paranoia issues as well.

my bf and i broke up 2 months ago and that's been a catalyst, as break ups usually are for me.  but anxiety and paranoia make it SO much worse.  i've cut myself off from mutual friends (friends he only has because of me, btw) because i fear they possess knowledge of what he is up to.  similarly i quit going out to the bar where these friends are present.  people may find that crazy of me, but i refuse to expose myself to more stimuli or information, i can barely cope as is; without hearing or seeing stuff that is going to propel me further.  the only problem is that quite sadly, i have very few friends outside that circle.  and it's especially hard to summon the willpower and be social to make new friends when day-to-day living and going to work is so hard.

idk if i'm looking for advice, i know what my options are and right now i just don't feel ready to confront my fears, i guess i just felt like being heard.  i'm on meds for the 4th or 5th time in my life but these don't seem to be working either sad  and i have an appt to start going back to therapy next month (earliest i could get, over a month away!) but i fear it won't work either.



edit: i do feel kinda bad because i know what i'm going thru situation-wise is nothing like what others are going thru. but i still feel nearly as hopeless...that's another issue with depression/anxiety, it makes everything feel 10x worse!

Feb 20 13 03:42 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

LizzyB wrote:
i'm not suicidal, just sometimes/often feel the lack of willpower to live.

i have had anxiety and depression for at least 10 years now, and recently self-diagnosed myself as having some paranoia issues as well.

my bf and i broke up 2 months ago and that's been a catalyst, as break ups usually are for me.  but anxiety and paranoia make it SO much worse.  i've cut myself off from mutual friends (friends he only has because of me, btw) because i fear they possess knowledge of what he is up to.  similarly i quit going out to the bar where these friends are present.  people may find that crazy of me, but i refuse to expose myself to more stimuli or information, i can barely cope as is; without hearing or seeing stuff that is going to propel me further.  the only problem is that quite sadly, i have very few friends outside that circle.  and it's especially hard to summon the willpower and be social to make new friends when day-to-day living and going to work is so hard.

idk if i'm looking for advice, i know what my options are and right now i just don't feel ready to confront my fears, i guess i just felt like being heard.  i'm on meds for the 4th or 5th time in my life but these don't seem to be working either sad  and i have an appt to start going back to therapy next month (earliest i could get, over a month away!) but i fear it won't work either.



edit: i do feel kinda bad because i know what i'm going thru situation-wise is nothing like what others are going thru. but i still feel nearly as hopeless...that's another issue with depression/anxiety, it makes everything feel 10x worse!

You are right about that part Lizzie. Depression/anxiety makes everything feel worse!

It sounds like you have been down this dirty road before Lizzy if this is the 4th time you have tried meds. I hate to get all technical on you about the meds but this is important. I'm not a doctor and I am not giving advice. Just ask your doctor if all of the previous meds were SSRI's and if the new medicine is a  SNRI. The first one only affects one brain chemical and many people don't get any relief from them, I didn't. The second one affects two chemicals and it has saved my life!

It's OK if you are not ready to confront your fears. I hide from mine for over 30 years. Feel free to pm me any time if you want to talk.

Tim

Feb 20 13 07:17 pm Link

Model

LizzyB

Posts: 2202

Rochester, New York, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:

You are right about that part Lizzie. Depression/anxiety makes everything feel worse!

It sounds like you have been down this dirty road before Lizzy if this is the 4th time you have tried meds. I hate to get all technical on you about the meds but this is important. I'm not a doctor and I am not giving advice. Just ask your doctor if all of the previous meds were SSRI's and if the new medicine is a  SNRI. The first one only affects one brain chemical and many people don't get any relief from them, I didn't. The second one affects two chemicals and it has saved my life!

It's OK if you are not ready to confront your fears. I hide from mine for over 30 years. Feel free to pm me any time if you want to talk.

Tim

i think i've tried both, i remember last time she prescribed something she said attacked different things than the previous ones.  that one didn't work. idk what the kind i am now on is, but she said it had a pretty good success rate...so far, it doesn't seem to be working either.  i've actually wondered about "electroshock" therapy, as i've heard it has a pretty high success rate, and it seems meds aren't doing jack sh*t.  but it's probably expensive as hell and the idea scares me, i've never been in the hospital or under anasthesia.  hell i was awake the entire time my wisdom teeth were removed.

idk i feel like a fool that i'm avoiding my fears, especially since my ex doesn't have the same issues i do and can go out and hang out with those same people and he's not hampered in the slightest.  but i just don't see putting myself in situations where i'll feel even worse. tho plenty of people will advise me to confront my fears and "just get over it."

Feb 20 13 08:01 pm Link

Model

Phane

Posts: 2048

Rockville, Maryland, US

I understand not wanting to be social or hanging out after a break up I feel the same way you doI the pain of the breakup and for me guilt for even feeling sad gets worse If peoplr ask how my current ex is doing if we just broke up its like adding salt to a  wound but these feelings after a breakup will go away

just focus on you and let yourself hurt

Feb 21 13 05:48 am Link

Model

LizzyB

Posts: 2202

Rochester, New York, US

i wake up almost daily feeling anxious and depressed.

maybe i shouldn't have cut off from friends, but i found out that some are being friendly towards him and trying to get him to go out and do stuff and essentially move on. "my" friends, helping my ex get over me...what kind of friends are these?!  though maybe if i reached out or were even around they'd offer to help me too, idk. i had another friend tell me maybe they just find it easier to help him because he wants to be helped and he wants to get over things and feel better, whereas i don't.  it still hurts like hell tho, that friends would help him and that he wants to get over me.  why can't exes just go their own lives and stick to their own friends  :"(

Feb 21 13 09:55 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

I did something really hard today. And admitting this in public is hard for me but I promised myself when I was diagnosed with PTSD I would never hold anything in and I would live a public life.

Over the past 18 months I've been in the hospital seven times and had two operations. The treatment program has been very painful physically. Skin grafts hurt hard. As a result I took LOTS of narcotics. And now I have become dependent on them.

Both of my parents were hateful alcoholics. I swore I would never be like them yet here I am, controlled by a drug. I was full of shame. But I was sick of being sick.

So, today I started an outpatient detox program. I'm told that a lot of people who have painful injuries develop a dependence even when they follow the proper dosage and that this program works very well. We will see.

I'm posting this for a couple of reasons. One, to ask for your encouragement and prayers. And to pass it on for anyone who might be dealing with the same problem.

I love you all. Thank you for the years of support and encouragement you have given me.

Feb 26 13 09:16 pm Link

Model

LizzyB

Posts: 2202

Rochester, New York, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:
I did something really hard today. And admitting this in public is hard for me but I promised myself when I was diagnosed with PTSD I would never hold anything in and I would live a public life.

Over the past 18 months I've been in the hospital seven times and had two operations. The treatment program has been very painful physically. Skin grafts hurt hard. As a result I took LOTS of narcotics. And now I have become dependent on them.

Both of my parents were hateful alcoholics. I swore I would never be like them yet here I am, controlled by a drug. I was full of shame. But I was sick of being sick.

So, today I started an outpatient detox program. I'm told that a lot of people who have painful injuries develop a dependence even when they follow the proper dosage and that this program works very well. We will see.

I'm posting this for a couple of reasons. One, to ask for your encouragement and prayers. And to pass it on for anyone who might be dealing with the same problem.

I love you all. Thank you for the years of support and encouragement you have given me.

honestly i don't think you should feel bad about taking medication that helps you, even if you become dependent on it.  it's not the same as someone abusing alcohol...alcohol really doesn't help; it's a depressant and generally ultimately makes people feel worse. 
but if you are really determined to get off the meds, then i wish you luck!  just take it one day at a time, and don't be too hard on yourself...

Feb 26 13 09:21 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

LizzyB wrote:

honestly i don't think you should feel bad about taking medication that helps you, even if you become dependent on it.  it's not the same as someone abusing alcohol...alcohol really doesn't help; it's a depressant and generally ultimately makes people feel worse. 
but if you are really determined to get off the meds, then i wish you luck!  just take it one day at a time, and don't be too hard on yourself...

Thanks for your support Lizzy. If I were just using the drugs to dull the pain I would OK with that. The truth is that my leg is feeling a lot better and I'm not in pain. But I still had to go to the pills because my body was craving them. I had severe withdrawal symptoms if I didn't take them. I don't want to be an addict. This is something I had to do.

I sure do appreciate you Lizzy!

Feb 26 13 09:27 pm Link

Photographer

A S Photography

Posts: 1217

Newark, Delaware, US

I'm sorry to hear that.

Best of luck dealing with the addiction/habituation.

Feb 26 13 10:16 pm Link

Model

LizzyB

Posts: 2202

Rochester, New York, US

having a really bad day so far...

it drives me nuts that my ex is friends with most of my friends (from the goth club.)  due to anxiety issues, i have decided to abstain from that place and those people...and i feel like they chose him over me, altho they really probably didn't, it's probably moreso that he still goes out and talks to them, and i don't.

anyways i decided i just wanted new friends, but it's so much easier said than done :'(  idk how or where to get new friends, if nothing else i feel like i'm just going to scare people away.  especially since i'd prefer some new male friends and i have a particularly sh*tty self-esteem in that regard.  like i just want someone to hold me (non-sexual) and i can't exactly ask that of a new friend lol... =/  hell i'm not even really getting any hugs.

Feb 27 13 09:40 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

I'm really sorry for the situation you find yourself in Lizzy. Going about the task of finding new friends is weird because that's not how we find friends. We are just going about our business and we meet people and there you are, friends! www.meetup.com might be a place to start. Look for some things going on in your area you would enjoy and take part.

Feb 27 13 12:25 pm Link

Model

LizzyB

Posts: 2202

Rochester, New York, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:
I'm really sorry for the situation you find yourself in Lizzy. Going about the task of finding new friends is weird because that's not how we find friends. We are just going about our business and we meet people and there you are, friends! www.meetup.com might be a place to start. Look for some things going on in your area you would enjoy and take part.

i had a friend suggest it, but nothing really yelled at me. stupid town i live in, not many choices =/  3 groups alone were for like young mothers lol

Feb 27 13 08:28 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

LizzyB wrote:

i had a friend suggest it, but nothing really yelled at me. stupid town i live in, not many choices =/  3 groups alone were for like young mothers lol

Yea, there isn't much going on for my area either but I thought I would toss the idea out there.

Feb 27 13 09:53 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

A S Photography wrote:
I'm sorry to hear that.

Best of luck dealing with the addiction/habituation.

Thank you Art. Actually, I am already feeling much better. Physically, I'm stable and not feeling bad at all. Mentally I have a lot of things that are working to make my PTSD in general and anxiety and panic attacks in particular much worse. So tomorrow I'm getting set up to take part in a day therapy program. A day program last from 9am-3pm and usually goes for about a week. During that time you take part in group therapy sessions in your problem area. There are also one one one sessions with a therapist and also with a medical doctor. I've done this three times before and it is great. I am past due for this and I am looking forward to it!

Thank you for your concern, I really do appreciate it!

Feb 27 13 10:04 pm Link

Model

I-dont-know-I-forgot

Posts: 134

London, England, United Kingdom

does anyone else cut themselevs?

Feb 28 13 01:49 pm Link

Model

LizzyB

Posts: 2202

Rochester, New York, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:

Yea, there isn't much going on for my area either but I thought I would toss the idea out there.

i'm trying POF altho that's a dating site.  but it was upsetting to do that because that's how i met my ex.  but i'm really bad about meeting people out and about...*sigh* i wouldn't know what to do if i got into a relationship again, i feel like i'm way too nuts for anyone sad  i just over-analyze and harp and do everything wrong.  hopefully tho i'll find at least a couple guys to be a friend and get a hug from...

Feb 28 13 02:07 pm Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11602

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Bunnierabbits wrote:
does anyone else cut themselevs?

There will be a good many cutters at my group therapy sessions tomorrow. If there is any info on cutting I'll scan it and send it to you through Private Message if you want.

Feb 28 13 05:17 pm Link

Model

I-dont-know-I-forgot

Posts: 134

London, England, United Kingdom

Tim Little Photography wrote:

There will be a good many cutters at my group therapy sessions tomorrow. If there is any info on cutting I'll scan it and send it to you through Private Message if you want.

yes but don't bother telling me to stop that is literally all i have
at the moment i don't need "help" just want to get i out of my head
i can't say it in real life a because i don't relate to anybody and
don't have anything more than Acquaintances who mostly
think im a lunatic & wouldn't bother if i tried .

they really do-not understand why ../

Mar 01 13 03:04 am Link

Model

Gabrielle Heather

Posts: 10064

Middle Island, New York, US

Bunnierabbits wrote:
yes but don't bother telling me to stop that is literally all i have
at the moment i don't need "help" just want to get i out of my head
i can't say it in real life a because i don't relate to anybody and
don't have anything more than Acquaintances who mostly
think im a lunatic & wouldn't bother if i tried .

they really do-not understand why ../

No one can tell you to stop but you. I can offer up the suggestion that there are better ways to cope, but you know that already. Nothing I can tell you isnt something you already know deep down. You have all the answers inside of you. You are stronger than you know. That's what I have to offer you for now.

Mar 01 13 05:35 pm Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:
I did something really hard today. And admitting this in public is hard for me but I promised myself when I was diagnosed with PTSD I would never hold anything in and I would live a public life.

Over the past 18 months I've been in the hospital seven times and had two operations. The treatment program has been very painful physically. Skin grafts hurt hard. As a result I took LOTS of narcotics. And now I have become dependent on them.

Both of my parents were hateful alcoholics. I swore I would never be like them yet here I am, controlled by a drug. I was full of shame. But I was sick of being sick.

So, today I started an outpatient detox program. I'm told that a lot of people who have painful injuries develop a dependence even when they follow the proper dosage and that this program works very well. We will see.

I'm posting this for a couple of reasons. One, to ask for your encouragement and prayers. And to pass it on for anyone who might be dealing with the same problem.

I love you all. Thank you for the years of support and encouragement you have given me.

Man, you are so encouraging. You fight. You try. You look to get things right.  You are a winner.  Yeah, you've got my support and prayers.  I really believe in you.

Mar 04 13 05:39 am Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

I so know the feeling. I know the hurt and the pain. I understand the hopelessness and feeling as if nothing ever changes, nothing ever works out, nothing ever gets better, but...

Don't. Ever. Give. Up.

Mar 06 13 01:42 am Link

Photographer

DougBPhoto

Posts: 38624

Portland, Oregon, US

Hopefully everyone is doing okay on this night where we change our clocks.....

Mar 09 13 11:21 pm Link

Model

EvaScarlet

Posts: 6250

Los Angeles, California, US

Bunnierabbits wrote:
does anyone else cut themselevs?

Hi, Lea- Odd that I just saw this...and am sorry I didn't see it when you first posted...

Yes, I am a cutter. Have been for many, many years.

Been relying on it very heavily lately, and I very much understand what you mean (in one of your later posts where you said something about it being all you have)...

If you want/need to talk, I am very, very willing to listen. I don't know about all of your problems, but as far as cutting goes, I know what you're going through. Please take care.

Mar 10 13 12:10 am Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39277

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Mar 13 13 12:24 pm Link

Photographer

Alexandria Georgiades

Posts: 26753

Lancaster, California, US

Tegan Lynn wrote:

I don't have RA, but I have an as of yet undiagnosed muscle disease that cause severe pain in a similar fashion. It's been really bad. I just force myself to continue on in whatever small fashion I can. Try your hardest to incorporate the things you love into your life. Even though you may feel guilty for spending what little energy and strength you have that day on yourself instead of getting 'more productive things' done, do it anyway.

thank you..I have been struggling with extreme suicidal depression and seeing different doctors.  My doctor has sent me to a psychiatrist this Wednesday..they believe I am bi-polar and I tend to agree and need the right medicine.  The arthritis doctor I saw yesterday said I have degenerative bone disease.  I am fighting as hard as I can, but I have battle fatique and it's getting harder.

Mar 15 13 10:23 am Link