Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > Suicide and Violence Help Thread

Photographer

Carlton Chong

Posts: 860

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I've had serious depression after my GF dumped me (over the phone too!) and it got so bad that I seriously thought about doing the deed. I've never spoken to anyone or mentioned this to anyone until now. Every so often I would get close to someone but I would try and avoid getting too close. Then one day a close coworker of mine did a swan dive off a bridge. Found out that she was sexually abused by her dad as a kid and she never really came to terms with herself etc. and I think she just figured offing herself was the solution. I went to her funeral and I wished I could have spoken to her and told her how many people showed up and how many of them loved her deeply. After that day, I've never came close to thinking about taking my life.

Instead my friend's death has made me want to live. I've turned around 180° and came to realize how short and precious life is.

I certainly hope that anyone thinking about doing such a thing would talk to someone, a friend or family member or seek guidance from a support group. Help is never too far away.

Nov 01 08 03:12 am Link

Photographer

Patrick Walberg

Posts: 45196

San Juan Bautista, California, US

The Pick-Up Kitten wrote:
9-1-1

You can't sit around and wonder whether you are gonna call this number or that number or call any help hotline at all. You need to take action NOW and that action should be those three digits. The longer you wait the less likely it is that you'll get yourself help.

Definitely 9-1-1 the number to call if someone is totally ready to kill themselves, but I only hope that the operator is someone either well trained (some are not) in dealing with suicidal calls or can get someone on the line who is trained.

When I've been stressed, and just wanted someone to talk to, I've called the crisis line before.  You don't have to be ready to do yourself in to call that number.  Many cities have crisis hotlines staffed by trained people.  I was one!  They can go for hours without a call to the hotline and then there are times when it's burning up with so many calls.

The main thing is to just call!

Nov 01 08 04:37 am Link

Photographer

Legacys 7

Posts: 33899

San Francisco, California, US

Candy Poses wrote:
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network:
rainn.org; 1.800.656.HOPE

thank you.

Nov 01 08 04:39 am Link

Photographer

Legacys 7

Posts: 33899

San Francisco, California, US

Kayelless wrote:

Stay in the fight.

word on that.

Nov 01 08 04:41 am Link

Clothing Designer

nothing

Posts: 9229

Okinawa, Okinawa, Japan

J Henry wrote:

Nooooooo kidding.  My grandmother died Christmas Eve about 50 years ago.  Family has been a complete mess ever since.  Every holiday is a rollercoaster of anger and depression and insecurities.  It's hard to love everyone else when nobody in the room likes themselves.

in my family the holidays are when the dirty secrets come out and people drink themselves into oblivion.

Nov 01 08 10:39 am Link

Model

Selena St James

Posts: 1433

WOW what a great thread...seriously...
My brother in law commited suicide 8yrs ago (my hubby and I found him) he was 28yrs old and had a 5month old baby at the time.

Depression is a sad disease and hopefully if someone that is suffering from it sees this and gets help.  Not a lot of people suffering from this knows where to turn for help.  Sometimes family members just aren't enough.

Thanks to the OP!

Nov 01 08 10:43 am Link

Photographer

J Henry

Posts: 8775

Silver Spring, Maryland, US

Patrick Walberg wrote:

The Pick-Up Kitten wrote:
Definitely 9-1-1 the number to call if someone is totally ready to kill themselves, but I only hope that the operator is someone either well trained (some are not) in dealing with suicidal calls or can get someone on the line who is trained.

When I've been stressed, and just wanted someone to talk to, I've called the crisis line before.  You don't have to be ready to do yourself in to call that number.  Many cities have crisis hotlines staffed by trained people.  I was one!  They can go for hours without a call to the hotline and then there are times when it's burning up with so many calls.

The main thing is to just call!

Seconding this!  9-1-1 is great, but the crisis hotline is guaranteed to have people experienced and ready for this kind of thing.  It's a tremendous resource.

Nov 01 08 10:45 am Link

Model

J Moon

Posts: 1447

Lake Forest, California, US

Patrick Walberg wrote:
Definitely 9-1-1 the number to call if someone is totally ready to kill themselves, but I only hope that the operator is someone either well trained (some are not) in dealing with suicidal calls or can get someone on the line who is trained.

When I've been stressed, and just wanted someone to talk to, I've called the crisis line before.  You don't have to be ready to do yourself in to call that number.  Many cities have crisis hotlines staffed by trained people.  I was one!  They can go for hours without a call to the hotline and then there are times when it's burning up with so many calls.

The main thing is to just call!

9-1-1 isn't trained to be sensitive. They are trained to send someone who can help you or get you the help you need.

If you just feel depressed and need someone to talk to, 9-1-1 can send someone who can help you as well.

Nov 01 08 12:40 pm Link

Model

Stephy C

Posts: 6337

Los Angeles, California, US

Thank you for this thread... it's nice to know people can relate since depression is usually not something that's discussed openly.

Nov 01 08 06:19 pm Link

Photographer

Photons 2 Pixels Images

Posts: 17011

Berwick, Pennsylvania, US

Selena St James wrote:
WOW what a great thread...seriously...
My brother in law commited suicide 8yrs ago (my hubby and I found him) he was 28yrs old and had a 5month old baby at the time.

Depression is a sad disease and hopefully if someone that is suffering from it sees this and gets help.  Not a lot of people suffering from this knows where to turn for help.  Sometimes family members just aren't enough.

Thanks to the OP!

And sadly, sometimes family is the cause. It is for me, anyway.

I really don't have anything important to add. Just like keeping this one up near the top.

Nov 01 08 08:29 pm Link

Model

Pathogenic Confessions

Posts: 20332

Racine, Minnesota, US

NaturalLightPhoto wrote:
A good book for understanding suicide:

Night Falls Fast: http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/j/jamison-night.html

This is seriously one of my most favorite books of all time. Mine is soo torn up from reading it a ton of times

Nov 01 08 08:33 pm Link

Model

Natasha240

Posts: 6438

Cassina de' Pecchi, Lombardy, Italy

Just poppin in to say hi.  And that this sucks. I just dont know what to do. It seems that medication does not help me, therapy does not help me. I'm just so tired of it. Sigh.

Nov 02 08 01:06 am Link

Clothing Designer

nothing

Posts: 9229

Okinawa, Okinawa, Japan

Natasha240 wrote:
Just poppin in to say hi.  And that this sucks. I just dont know what to do. It seems that medication does not help me, therapy does not help me. I'm just so tired of it. Sigh.

what medication are you on?

Nov 02 08 01:21 am Link

Clothing Designer

nothing

Posts: 9229

Okinawa, Okinawa, Japan

Selena St James wrote:
WOW what a great thread...seriously...
My brother in law commited suicide 8yrs ago (my hubby and I found him) he was 28yrs old and had a 5month old baby at the time.

Depression is a sad disease and hopefully if someone that is suffering from it sees this and gets help.  Not a lot of people suffering from this knows where to turn for help.  Sometimes family members just aren't enough.

Thanks to the OP!

have you and your family gotten any help? risk of suicide increases if you have a family member that commits suicide and then drastically increases if you are the one who finds the body.

Nov 02 08 01:22 am Link

Model

Natasha240

Posts: 6438

Cassina de' Pecchi, Lombardy, Italy

Shiggily Weebonk McGee wrote:

what medication are you on?

I have been on: Effexor XR, Paxil, Zoloft,Lithium,Gabapentin, Buspar, Seroquel, Depakote,Ativan,Xanax, Xyprexa, Lamictal, I'm sure there are more but that is all I can remember. I am off all of the drugs now, they did not work anyway.

Nov 02 08 02:12 am Link

Model

Alisyn Carliene

Posts: 11756

San Bernardino, California, US

Topless New York wrote:
Sorry, not to rain on a pretty good idea, but shouldn't this really be in Off-Topic?

I can see how this is appropriate. The industry sometimes stresses people out especially those struggling with it. examples: boyfriends that do not approve and are violent. anorexia, bulemia, self-confidence, factors that make them go suicidal.
i can tell you i have never met a model that has never gone down on themselves about their looks at least once. i do all the time :p

Nov 02 08 02:21 am Link

Model

Alisyn Carliene

Posts: 11756

San Bernardino, California, US

Natasha240 wrote:
Just poppin in to say hi.  And that this sucks. I just dont know what to do. It seems that medication does not help me, therapy does not help me. I'm just so tired of it. Sigh.

hang in there.. i have a secret depression or so i am told..
it doesn't show much.. just that i sleep 12-16 hours on a typical day! sad
I like to be optimistic.. its depressing being my age although i don't know why.

Nov 02 08 02:23 am Link

Clothing Designer

nothing

Posts: 9229

Okinawa, Okinawa, Japan

Natasha240 wrote:

I have been on: Effexor XR, Paxil, Zoloft,Lithium,Gabapentin, Buspar, Seroquel, Depakote,Ativan,Xanax, Xyprexa, Lamictal, I'm sure there are more but that is all I can remember. I am off all of the drugs now, they did not work anyway.

I was put on Zoloft and it destroyed me. I was like a log... just sitting and staring at the wall.

I tried Ritalin and it actually worked out kind of well.

Nov 02 08 04:28 am Link

Photographer

Photons 2 Pixels Images

Posts: 17011

Berwick, Pennsylvania, US

I've tried anti-depressants a few times. The only thing they did for me was took away my appetite and I couldn't sleep more than 3 hours a day.

The only things that help for me is time, positive attitude, and meditation. Not always easy though.

Nov 02 08 05:50 am Link

Photographer

Michael R Kihn Studios

Posts: 2559

Erie, Pennsylvania, US

Natasha240 wrote:
Just bumping.....I'm having a really bad time lately, I read this thread almost every day

Stay strong

Nov 02 08 01:02 pm Link

Photographer

Michael R Kihn Studios

Posts: 2559

Erie, Pennsylvania, US

Photos by Mick wrote:
i have a  constant battle with   severe depression this is near and dear.

Been there  dealing with for most of my 48 yrs of life

Nov 02 08 01:06 pm Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39289

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Natasha240 wrote:
Just poppin in to say hi.  And that this sucks. I just dont know what to do. It seems that medication does not help me, therapy does not help me. I'm just so tired of it. Sigh.

I'm finding a combination of drugs, therapy and the most key ingredient works best for me..... that ingredient is the support of friendship.

Nov 02 08 06:40 pm Link

Model

Stephy C

Posts: 6337

Los Angeles, California, US

*hugs* to all

I need some... blah

Nov 03 08 01:14 am Link

Model

Stephy C

Posts: 6337

Los Angeles, California, US

Kayelless wrote:

I'm finding a combination of drugs, therapy and the most key ingredient works best for me..... that ingredient is the support of friendship.

very true... friend smile

Nov 03 08 01:14 am Link

Photographer

Boho Hobo

Posts: 25351

Santa Barbara, California, US

situational depression seems to be up right now with a lot of people facing severe financial stress.

Nov 03 08 01:48 am Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39289

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Stephy C  wrote:
*hugs* to all

I need some... blah

*huggs*

Nov 03 08 09:00 am Link

Model

Fyre B

Posts: 157

Griswold, Connecticut, US

I just saw this topic and I had to post... I lost a good friend back in January to suicide, he got into a really bad fight with his girlfriend and he walked out in the back yard n shot himself. I'm still trying to deal with it, he was one of my best friends and someone I always saw myself dating and being with in the future and now hes gone and I won't get that chance. I almost wonder to myself everyday if there was something i could have done to change the outcome, but blaming myself is just starting an endless cycle of depression. Its hard to lose someone that way, probably the most traumatic way to see someone go.

Nov 03 08 09:47 am Link

Photographer

J Henry

Posts: 8775

Silver Spring, Maryland, US

Fyre B wrote:
I just saw this topic and I had to post... I lost a good friend back in January to suicide, he got into a really bad fight with his girlfriend and he walked out in the back yard n shot himself. I'm still trying to deal with it, he was one of my best friends and someone I always saw myself dating and being with in the future and now hes gone and I won't get that chance. I almost wonder to myself everyday if there was something i could have done to change the outcome, but blaming myself is just starting an endless cycle of depression. Its hard to lose someone that way, probably the most traumatic way to see someone go.

I'm really sorry for your loss.  I see what you're saying about being a hard way to lose someone. 

Obviously I don't know everything about the situation.  But for him to do something so final, it seems like it must have been more than just one argument with his girlfriend.  It also sounds like you two were very close, and I'm sure he knew that.  Instead of remorse, I wonder if you weren't one of the few bright spots in his life?  All the "what ifs" that are easy to imagine now are eclipsed by the actual positives you DID bring to his life.  As tragic as this was, those good times can still be celebrated, y'know?

Nov 03 08 12:27 pm Link

Model

Fyre B

Posts: 157

Griswold, Connecticut, US

J Henry wrote:

I'm really sorry for your loss.  I see what you're saying about being a hard way to lose someone. 

Obviously I don't know everything about the situation.  But for him to do something so final, it seems like it must have been more than just one argument with his girlfriend.  It also sounds like you two were very close, and I'm sure he knew that.  Instead of remorse, I wonder if you weren't one of the few bright spots in his life?  All the "what ifs" that are easy to imagine now are eclipsed by the actual positives you DID bring to his life.  As tragic as this was, those good times can still be celebrated, y'know?

hell yea everytime i go out i party for him

Nov 03 08 12:52 pm Link

Model

au revoir

Posts: 5366

New York, New York, US

Bump-bump-bump!

Nov 03 08 04:42 pm Link

Model

Stephy C

Posts: 6337

Los Angeles, California, US

Kayelless wrote:

*huggs*

Thank you smilehttps://smily.hit.bg/hug.gif

Nov 03 08 06:53 pm Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39289

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Never stop fighting.
You are a winner.
Talk to me and I'll show you that you are.

Nov 03 08 11:56 pm Link

Photographer

Star Child

Posts: 39289

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Adah Hagen wrote:
Bump-bump-bump!

thank you!

Nov 04 08 08:54 am Link

Photographer

Photons 2 Pixels Images

Posts: 17011

Berwick, Pennsylvania, US

How is everyone feeling tonight?

Nov 04 08 08:41 pm Link

Model

Natasha240

Posts: 6438

Cassina de' Pecchi, Lombardy, Italy

blah, i just slept for almost 24 hours after a super crying spell

Nov 04 08 09:08 pm Link

Clothing Designer

nothing

Posts: 9229

Okinawa, Okinawa, Japan

I have a question for you. Do you guys want this thread made a sticky or left loose?


People might not see it as a sticky, but at least it will remain on the top during the holidays.

Nov 05 08 01:03 am Link

Photographer

Photons 2 Pixels Images

Posts: 17011

Berwick, Pennsylvania, US

Shiggily Weebonk McGee wrote:
I have a question for you. Do you guys want this thread made a sticky or left loose?


People might not see it as a sticky, but at least it will remain on the top during the holidays.

That's a tough call. I'd like to see it stay on the top, but as you said, sticky threads are often overlooked. I don't mind bumping it once a day if I see it slip to page 2. I just don't always get to the forums every day.

Nov 05 08 01:16 pm Link

Model

Fyre B

Posts: 157

Griswold, Connecticut, US

making it sticky would be a good idea, but if people are going to surpass it then that would be pointless =\

Nov 05 08 01:19 pm Link

Photographer

Photons 2 Pixels Images

Posts: 17011

Berwick, Pennsylvania, US

Natasha240 wrote:
blah, i just slept for almost 24 hours after a super crying spell

That's rough. I had one of those episodes recently, though probably not as bad as yours.

I'm pullin' for you though. You are a wonderful person and deserve to be happy. I wish I could do more.

Nov 05 08 01:20 pm Link

Model

Tanya Weaver

Posts: 7650

Atlanta, Georgia, US

Just wanted to pop in and say thanks to Shiggily for this thread.

Too many people have been lost to depression. I know many people who have it, and I am always at a lack of words and feel helpless. I am gonna steal this for when I don't know the right things to say, so I can at least point people in the right direction.

Nov 05 08 01:25 pm Link