Forums > Model Colloquy > Worst idea a photographer has ever pitched at you

Photographer

Photographe

Posts: 2350

Bristol, England, United Kingdom

(My assistant) "Come on Rollo, let's call Models 1, get some models in and have a party, I'll go get the beers and rizzlas". Fired this guy later on for annoying models.


Some photographers are not realistic about using English Channel seawater on models who may well have a Clarins casting the next day. I've seen this. Disputes about length of time in seawater etc or distance from shore etc. Often absolutely no research has been done either about any hazardous environment.

Building sites and disused buildings often can be the source of potential disaster. There is still plenty of Asbestos kicking about in condemned and disused buildings.

The worst ideas I've seen pitched at magazines are usually crass, involve something disturbing and it's the worst idea, because the person calls themselves a media person, but fail to realize that it will generate 5,000 user complaints.

Jul 21 12 02:03 am Link

Model

Julia Francesca

Posts: 2386

Maumee, Ohio, US

Art of the nude wrote:

Someone has a hamster wheel big enough?  And, um, crack?

well from what i understood from the guy's message it was this gigantic inner tube that he was going to stand upright and then he would paint in the details in photoshop or some shit. i don't know. he was really excited about me doing it. but he lives in new zealand. so unfortunately i had to decline sad

Jul 21 12 05:32 am Link

Photographer

FlirtynFun Photography

Posts: 13271

Houston, Texas, US

I've seen several people here make comments about "clients" pitching ideas to them...and photographers turning their noses up at the opportunity to make money. This is a public notice to "those photographers". Send your clients MY way, I have NO problem in selective colorization if a client pays me money. Sorry but I think doing things to shoot yourself in the foot business wise is retarded.

Jul 21 12 05:58 am Link

Model

Bex Lendon

Posts: 110

Manchester, England, United Kingdom

"Dear Bex,

Hi, my name is Duncan, Im an amateur photographer and designer setting up my own business.
Part of the business is clothing and I have an idea for a range that I need a model for.
I need someone willing to pose as Mary Magdalene, someof the shots will be with a Jesus lookalike.

They shots are a bit controversial involving bondage, implied drug use.

I would need you to dress in the traditional MM outfit of a blue robe but wearing lingerie underneath, which would be shown.

I may also want you to dress in a Nun or Female Nazi outfit as well.

Bit of an ask but please let me know if you are interested and what your rates would be.

Thanks"

This.

Jul 21 12 05:58 am Link

Photographer

Farenell Photography

Posts: 18251

Albany, New York, US

I've had some pretty strange reactions when I've pitched MY OWN light bondage set w/ Minnie Mouse ears.

Thankfully, I've had a least one adventurous girl who has an effed up sense of humor as big as my own. smile

http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn63/semi234-part2/Brennan%20Bree%20Addams/7567.jpg

Jul 21 12 06:06 am Link

Photographer

KonstantKarma

Posts: 2513

Hickory, North Carolina, US

http://www.spankingblog.com/spanking-pictures/nazi-spanking-03.jpg

Heil! lol

Jul 21 12 06:07 am Link

Photographer

Farenell Photography

Posts: 18251

Albany, New York, US

The only idea I've ever flat-out rejected was a chick friend of mine wanted to do a guerrilla nude shoot in a church. As she explained it, she adorned how the light shined through the stained glass windows during the late afternoon.

Though it sounded like a lovely idea, the fallen-Catholic school boy still has respect for his house. Poking the finger in the eye of Uncle Sam, sure, I don't bat an eyelash at that. The Man Upstairs, nyet!

Which ironic since years later I shot w/ minister's daughter & we actually did shoot in her dad's church. If I remember right, she justified that it was her sin & thus could absolve herself of the violation by going to the confessional later.

*shrugs shoulders*

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/semi234/Kate%20Eichenberger/Aug%206%202008/0091.jpg

Jul 21 12 06:25 am Link

Model

J Jessica

Posts: 2409

Coconut Creek, Florida, US

Bex Lendon wrote:
"Dear Bex,

Hi, my name is Duncan, Im an amateur photographer and designer setting up my own business.
Part of the business is clothing and I have an idea for a range that I need a model for.
I need someone willing to pose as Mary Magdalene, someof the shots will be with a Jesus lookalike.

They shots are a bit controversial involving bondage, implied drug use.

I would need you to dress in the traditional MM outfit of a blue robe but wearing lingerie underneath, which would be shown.

I may also want you to dress in a Nun or Female Nazi outfit as well.

Bit of an ask but please let me know if you are interested and what your rates would be.

Thanks"

This.

lol

Jul 21 12 08:18 am Link

Photographer

NothingIsRealButTheGirl

Posts: 34611

Los Angeles, California, US

Bex Lendon wrote:
I would need you to dress in the traditional MM outfit of a blue robe but wearing lingerie underneath, which would be shown.

Model Mayhem has a traditional outfit???

Jul 21 12 09:10 am Link

Photographer

KonstantKarma

Posts: 2513

Hickory, North Carolina, US

Only models get the uniforms.

Jul 21 12 09:19 am Link

Model

Jess Robinson

Posts: 4948

Dallas, Texas, US

I understand that people get paid to do all sorts of erotic penetrative things to objects more numerous than I can imagine, but you wouldn't believe how many requests I get to do masturbatory things to cigars on Playboy Style shoots.

Girl smoking, holding, lighting a cigar I understand.  I'm aware of the phallic suggestion and can appreciate it for its artsy, sexy, and sometimes giggleworthy.

What I'm talking about is getting asked to...for lack of a better term...fellate a cigar, penetrate myself with a cigar, mockturbate with a cigar, etc.....JFC...
   
Why?  Why is a cigar...smelly, squishy, frankly of inadequate size, better than a myriad of other objects, and why does this come to mind on a Playboy style shoot?

Jul 21 12 09:22 am Link

Photographer

KonstantKarma

Posts: 2513

Hickory, North Carolina, US

There are some people who are seriously turned on by tobacco products. Like foot fetishes, I find it beyond weird.

Has to be some sort of a Freudian parent-who-smoked thing.

Jul 21 12 09:28 am Link

Model

Jess Robinson

Posts: 4948

Dallas, Texas, US

KonstantKarma wrote:
There are some people who are seriously turned on by tobacco products. Like foot fetishes, I find it beyond weird.

Has to be some sort of a Freudian parent-who-smoked thing.

I think you're right, I think it is a fetish, but people are usually pretty good about specifying they are shooting a fetish (pantyhose, feet, catfight, whatever) *beforehand.  Cigars tend to be something that just gets thrown on me in the guise of a glamor shoot. 

Its confusing because (I'm going to vastly generalize here, don't jump all over me) a lot of fetish work isn't too concerned about the overall quality of the image, and is more concerned with capturing the content of the fetish, vs a lot of glam/beauty work which is trying to maximize the glamor of a moment.  So...when someone tells me they want to shoot glam, and it turns into a fetish shoot I have to kind of shift gears and get on the same page...that is...realize the shoot is more about content than perfection.

Jul 21 12 09:46 am Link

Model

Jess Robinson

Posts: 4948

Dallas, Texas, US

Jul 21 12 09:46 am Link

Model

Laura UnBound

Posts: 27522

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Jess Robinson wrote:
I understand that people get paid to do all sorts of erotic penetrative things to objects more numerous than I can imagine, but you wouldn't believe how many requests I get to do masturbatory things to cigars on Playboy Style shoots.

Girl smoking, holding, lighting a cigar I understand.  I'm aware of the phallic suggestion and can appreciate it for its artsy, sexy, and sometimes giggleworthy.

What I'm talking about is getting asked to...for lack of a better term...fellate a cigar, penetrate myself with a cigar, mockturbate with a cigar, etc.....JFC...
   
Why?  Why is a cigar...smelly, squishy, frankly of inadequate size, better than a myriad of other objects, and why does this come to mind on a Playboy style shoot?

You obviously are just SO HORNY while you smoke your cigar that you just can't help yourself and lose all control and HAVE TO go from simply smoking it to fucking yourself with it because its the closest almost adequate thing you can find for your vagina! DUH

All my hairbrushes, carrots, cucumbers, broomsticks, travel-toothbrush holders, chair legs, and anything else remotely phallic are in a lock box and i threw the key away. I just can't help myself. Its all so sexual.

Jul 21 12 10:21 am Link

Model

Jess Robinson

Posts: 4948

Dallas, Texas, US

Laura UnBound wrote:
You obviously are just SO HORNY while you smoke your cigar that you just can't help yourself and lose all control and HAVE TO go from simply smoking it to fucking yourself with it because its the closest almost adequate thing you can find for your vagina! DUH

All my hairbrushes, carrots, cucumbers, broomsticks, travel-toothbrush holders, chair legs, and anything else remotely phallic are in a lock box and i threw the key away. I just can't help myself. Its all so sexual.

You'd make an excellent producer. wink

Watch out for those doorknobs.

Jul 21 12 10:28 am Link

Model

Laura UnBound

Posts: 27522

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Jess Robinson wrote:

You'd make an excellent producer. wink

Watch out for those doorknobs.

The doorknobs are safe, I'm too short.

Jul 21 12 10:30 am Link

Model

Laura UnBound

Posts: 27522

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Ive gotten the typical array of horrible gigs.

If you can find it in the childs costume section of the dollar store, Ive worn it. most of it for no apparent reason. Just "we're in the middle of the woods, here put this neon orange feather boa and some mardigras beads and these shutter shades on, look glamourous over on that rock, this makes SO MUCH sense"

Angel wings
Fairy wings
Posing with stuffed animals
Fake flowers, with and without a glass of wine I didn't drink
Lots and lots and lots of fabric
Holding old cameras
A handful of horrid girl-girl shoots, usually with girls 10 years older, a foot and a half taller, and twice as big as I am (in other words, it looked like a mother and her small child naked together)
All the typically awful poses
Caution tape
Swords
Guns

Jul 21 12 10:34 am Link

Model

Jess Robinson

Posts: 4948

Dallas, Texas, US

Jess Robinson wrote:
You'd make an excellent producer. wink

Watch out for those doorknobs.

Laura UnBound wrote:
The doorknobs are safe, I'm too short.

Yeah.....maybe wearing gloves next time you're here....

Jul 21 12 10:39 am Link

Photographer

GoldRoseMedia

Posts: 2938

NORTH BRUNSWICK, New Jersey, US

Jess Robinson wrote:
Its confusing because (I'm going to vastly generalize here, don't jump all over me) a lot of fetish work isn't too concerned about the overall quality of the image, and is more concerned with capturing the content of the fetish, vs a lot of glam/beauty work which is trying to maximize the glamor of a moment.  So...when someone tells me they want to shoot glam, and it turns into a fetish shoot I have to kind of shift gears and get on the same page...that is...realize the shoot is more about content than perfection.

Just curious, but what sort of mental gear shifting do you mean? That is, what do you think or do differently for one type of shoot vs. the other?

Jul 21 12 10:40 am Link

Photographer

KonstantKarma

Posts: 2513

Hickory, North Carolina, US

lulz

Jul 21 12 10:43 am Link

Model

J Jessica

Posts: 2409

Coconut Creek, Florida, US

Laura UnBound wrote:
Ive gotten the typical array of horrible gigs.

If you can find it in the childs costume section of the dollar store, Ive worn it. most of it for no apparent reason. Just "we're in the middle of the woods, here put this neon orange feather boa and some mardigras beads and these shutter shades on, look glamourous over on that rock, this makes SO MUCH sense"

Angel wings
Fairy wings
Posing with stuffed animals
Fake flowers, with and without a glass of wine I didn't drink
Lots and lots and lots of fabric
Holding old cameras
A handful of horrid girl-girl shoots, usually with girls 10 years older, a foot and a half taller, and twice as big as I am (in other words, it looked like a mother and her small child naked together)
All the typically awful poses
Caution tape
Swords
Guns

*clings to stuffed animal while reading your post in confusion*

Jul 21 12 10:53 am Link

Model

Laura UnBound

Posts: 27522

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

GoldRoseMedia wrote:
Just curious, but what sort of mental gear shifting do you mean? That is, what do you think or do differently for one type of shoot vs. the other?

Depending on the target audience for the fetish work, some people want cheesy pretty obviously faked stuff you'd see in a mainstream magazine look.

Other people want authentic and will sacrifice quality for realness.

"am I supposed to make this look sexy and fun, or am I supposed to look terrified and hurt even though thats not my best most attractive look?"



Sort of when someone tells you to look like your masturbating/orgasming...its almost NEVER what you actually look like when you're ACTUALLY doing it, because thats never really very pretty. Some people want pretty, some people want real at the sacrifice of pretty.

Jul 21 12 11:04 am Link

Photographer

Wysiwyg Photography

Posts: 6326

Salt Lake City, Utah, US

Laura UnBound wrote:
Ive gotten the typical array of horrible gigs.

If you can find it in the childs costume section of the dollar store, Ive worn it. most of it for no apparent reason. Just "we're in the middle of the woods, here put this neon orange feather boa and some mardigras beads and these shutter shades on, look glamourous over on that rock, this makes SO MUCH sense"

Angel wings
Fairy wings
Posing with stuffed animals
Fake flowers, with and without a glass of wine I didn't drink
Lots and lots and lots of fabric
Holding old cameras
A handful of horrid girl-girl shoots, usually with girls 10 years older, a foot and a half taller, and twice as big as I am (in other words, it looked like a mother and her small child naked together)
All the typically awful poses
Caution tape
Swords
Guns

Great!
You just killed every shoot idea I had fro the next couple of months

*Goes back to the drawing board*

Jul 21 12 11:07 am Link

Model

Laura UnBound

Posts: 27522

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Wysiwyg Photography wrote:

Great!
You just killed every shoot idea I had fro the next couple of months

*Goes back to the drawing board*

Just do some face-down ass-up shots, its a classic.

Jul 21 12 11:10 am Link

Model

Laura UnBound

Posts: 27522

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

crawl around looking like a cat
scream at the camera/ go through a series of expressions none of which are flattering to you and are ultimately useless to your portfolio
flip the camera off
"look like you're posing for your boyfriend who's filming you doing something naughty"
bodypaint (ie: let me finger paint you)
Tearing liquid latex off
Heres a stool. Pose with, on, and around the stool. Youve never done this one before.
make geometric shapes or letters with your body
"you do bondage right? heres a pile of rope/chain, pose with it"

Jul 21 12 11:13 am Link

Model

Laura UnBound

Posts: 27522

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Jess Robinson wrote:

Jess Robinson wrote:
You'd make an excellent producer. wink

Watch out for those doorknobs.

Yeah.....maybe wearing gloves next time you're here....

Just move everything to a shelf above my head lol

Jul 21 12 11:15 am Link

Model

Precious Metal

Posts: 1396

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

I was at a show taking to a "photographer" and he asked if I would shoot (still and film) in lingerie for his website.  He then proceeded to ask me would i talk dirty during the shoot to him while in the lingerie.
When i politely declined his response to me was (and i kid you not he said this)
"i thought all alternative models were sluts"

It took every ounce of strength not to jump over the table and punch him in the face.. so instead i told the security guard at the door he was harassing me and he was escorted out of the venue..

I later found out that his `website` was a porn site he apparently owns, directs and stars in..

Jul 21 12 09:17 pm Link

Photographer

Lacking focus photos

Posts: 319

Cincinnati, Ohio, US

Laura UnBound wrote:
Ive gotten the typical array of horrible gigs.

If you can find it in the childs costume section of the dollar store, Ive worn it. most of it for no apparent reason. Just "we're in the middle of the woods, here put this neon orange feather boa and some mardigras beads and these shutter shades on, look glamourous over on that rock, this makes SO MUCH sense"

Angel wings
Fairy wings
Posing with stuffed animals
Fake flowers, with and without a glass of wine I didn't drink
Lots and lots and lots of fabric
Holding old cameras
A handful of horrid girl-girl shoots, usually with girls 10 years older, a foot and a half taller, and twice as big as I am (in other words, it looked like a mother and her small child naked together)
All the typically awful poses
Caution tape
Swords
Guns

Caution tape is the ultimate.  But I am guilty of the old camera ( but that was a long time ago!

Jul 21 12 09:24 pm Link

Photographer

Lacking focus photos

Posts: 319

Cincinnati, Ohio, US

Ted Wen wrote:

I am surprised someone would suggest to trash your dress. If they want to do it, shouldn't they provide a dress?

Trash the dress is about as lame as caution tape across the breasts.

Jul 21 12 09:32 pm Link

Photographer

M E S K E R

Posts: 29

Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

TheAnj wrote:

Trash the dress is about as lame as caution tape across the breasts.

Amen!

Jul 22 12 03:31 pm Link

Photographer

Art of the nude

Posts: 11909

Olivet, Michigan, US

Bex Lendon wrote:
"Dear Bex,

Hi, my name is Duncan, Im an amateur photographer and designer setting up my own business.
Part of the business is clothing and I have an idea for a range that I need a model for.
I need someone willing to pose as Mary Magdalene, someof the shots will be with a Jesus lookalike.

They shots are a bit controversial involving bondage, implied drug use.

I would need you to dress in the traditional MM outfit of a blue robe but wearing lingerie underneath, which would be shown.

I may also want you to dress in a Nun or Female Nazi outfit as well.

Bit of an ask but please let me know if you are interested and what your rates would be.

Thanks"

This.

If you're comfortable with the controversial aspects, and the lingerie, I don't see the issue, at the right rate.  But I'm a bit confused by this:

"I would need you to dress in the traditional MM outfit of a blue robe"

Jul 22 12 03:51 pm Link

Photographer

Jerry Nemeth

Posts: 28749

Dearborn, Michigan, US

Laura UnBound wrote:

Just do some face-down ass-up shots, its a classic.

OK!   big_smile

Jul 22 12 03:56 pm Link

Photographer

Art of the nude

Posts: 11909

Olivet, Michigan, US

Laura UnBound wrote:
"you do bondage right? heres a pile of rope/chain, pose with it"

smile

I did that (18+)
http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4023/5147 … f218_o.jpg

Jul 22 12 03:57 pm Link

Model

Nikita Rumyantseva

Posts: 343

Cardiff, Wales, United Kingdom

Jul 22 12 04:07 pm Link

Model

Carmilla Jo

Posts: 276

Berkeley, California, US

Worst idea I've gotten (very graphic):

Portraying Snow White lying on the ground with her violated vagina exposed, with seven mini used and dirty condoms lying around her.

Jul 22 12 05:39 pm Link

Photographer

BkkDan

Posts: 149

Bangkok, Bangkok, Thailand

Rik Image wrote:
Slightly off topic but related to Paige's post above.
I had a lady on here wanting me to TF for her online clothing store.
Using my studio, shooting over a dozen models, with hundreds of variations, then retouching the entire shoot to her spec's.
Lol the funniest part about it was that she seemed offended when I asked for a minimal rate on the project.
Some people must be on drugs or something.

Similarly, in my "availability" post, there are models contacting me then wanting to charge me a fee! While clearly in the box it is "I'm available as a photographer".

http://www.modelmayhem.com/casting/1521 … rch_type=3

Jul 22 12 06:32 pm Link

Model

CamiAnn

Posts: 794

Las Vegas, Nevada, US

"Worst idea I've gotten (very graphic):

Portraying Snow White lying on the ground with her violated vagina exposed, with seven mini used and dirty condoms lying around her."


That is pretty bad...he really said her "violated vagina exposed"? Who does that? ...and where do you get "mini" condoms anyway?

Jul 22 12 06:48 pm Link

Photographer

All Yours Photography

Posts: 2391

Toledo, Ohio, US

Bex Lendon wrote:
I need someone willing to pose as Mary Magdalene, someof the shots will be with a Jesus lookalike.

I would need you to dress in the traditional MM outfit of a blue robe but wearing lingerie underneath, which would be shown.

NothingIsRealButTheGirl wrote:
Model Mayhem has a traditional outfit???

Art of the nude wrote:
But I'm a bit confused by this:

"I would need you to dress in the traditional MM outfit of a blue robe"

MM= Mary Magdalene not, Model Mayhem

Jul 22 12 07:09 pm Link

Photographer

Art of the nude

Posts: 11909

Olivet, Michigan, US

Carmilla Jo wrote:
Worst idea I've gotten (very graphic):

Portraying Snow White lying on the ground with her violated vagina exposed, with seven mini used and dirty condoms lying around her.

Tacky, but funny.

Jul 22 12 07:12 pm Link