Forums > Critique > Serious Critique > Does confidence live in your model bio?

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Mary Zdo wrote:
I'd like some input.

Cute bio! I love the punch of personality you've put in there. My only suggestion for you is about your introduction.

1) (This is totally minor) Just let us know you're unavailable until June because you're busy with school. Too much information can give your potential client the impression you have the potential to "detail" them to death. Again, this is totally minor, you could leave it the way it is and be just fine.

2) Be more specific with the types of shoots you're looking to do. When you say you are "generally open to shooting any interesting and creative concepts", are there certain types you're not interested in? Maybe you could change the statement so it better includes what you want to do. For example, "I am always looking to shoot any concepts that involve the beauty of nature and the human spirit" or...something.

If you do make a change I'd love to read your bio again.

Apr 24 13 09:22 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Anyone else?

Apr 25 13 03:27 pm Link

Model

Mary Zdo

Posts: 176

San Ramon, California, US

Perceptive Portraits wrote:
Cute bio! I love the punch of personality you've put in there. My only suggestion for you is about your introduction.

1) (This is totally minor) Just let us know you're unavailable until June because you're busy with school. Too much information can give your potential client the impression you have the potential to "detail" them to death. Again, this is totally minor, you could leave it the way it is and be just fine.

2) Be more specific with the types of shoots you're looking to do. When you say you are "generally open to shooting any interesting and creative concepts", are there certain types you're not interested in? Maybe you could change the statement so it better includes what you want to do. For example, "I am always looking to shoot any concepts that involve the beauty of nature and the human spirit" or...something.

If you do make a change I'd love to read your bio again.

Awesome, thanks! Yeah, I think I will change it soon to say that once it is actually May. Don't want to drown anyone in details or anything.

That's a good idea, but I just feel like I'm interested in doing too many different kinds of shoots to state it as concisely as your example! Maybe I'm just bad at being concise. I could just make a list of shoots I'm interested in doing as that might be a bit easier than attempting to summarize my specific interests in one sentence.

Apr 28 13 02:35 pm Link

Model

Jahanara

Posts: 124

Washington, District of Columbia, US

I'd like some input. Let me know what you think!

Apr 29 13 07:15 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Chynecia De Ancariis wrote:
I'd like some input. Let me know what you think!

Creative idea, putting in the random fact about being a contortionist. I've read hundreds of bios and never come across any that presented a fact like that. I can tell you've put a lot of thought into writing yours. For reasons aforementioned,  can't think of anything to add that you didn't already include. smile

Apr 29 13 10:13 pm Link

Model

besos mis amores

Posts: 154

Bakersfield, California, US

My bio could use some spicing up "help"

Apr 29 13 10:25 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Stephanie Lambert wrote:
My bio could use some spicing up "help"

Your bio is okay except for this one sentence: "At this time I am not looking to shoot nudes, but will consider implied,as it doesn't fit with my portfolio goals."

Translation: At this time I am not looking to shoot nudes, but will consider implied because it doesn't fit with my portfolio goals.

(Doesn't make much sense as is.) Maybe instead you could try something like, "I'm not interested in shooting nudes right now but I will do implied." Simpler is usually better. smile

Apr 30 13 09:32 pm Link

Model

Kelsey Anne -krysallis-

Posts: 34

Asheville, North Carolina, US

I rather like my bio, but I'd also love someone else's opinion...wink

May 03 13 12:43 pm Link

Model

W I L L O W

Posts: 343

Portland, Oregon, US

Please take a look at mine!!

May 04 13 04:59 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Krysallis wrote:
I rather like my bio, but I'd also love someone else's opinion...wink

The content is fine, but I'm not a fan of the intermittent stars and dots. When I see the stars I think of light glinting on something shiny and when I see "..." It implies trailing off into a whisper or getting lost in thought.

Thus, when I read through it, it sounds like this: "I will no longer accept TF shoots  (sparkle sparkle) unless it is by a highly experienced, licensed photographer who's work is regularly submitted to editorial/fashion magazines...(fades into whisper)."

It takes away from any impact your bio has. Taking those out will move the focus back to the real content. (Also, it should be "licensed photographer whose" instead of who's. "Who's" is short for "who is".)

I hope this is helpful to you.

May 05 13 07:11 am Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

W I L L O W wrote:
Please take a look at mine!!

You state who you are clearly, your tone is professional and you only include applicable information--I think it's great! My only suggestion is to move your "companies I have modeled for" section into the credits section of your profile.

May 05 13 07:15 am Link

Model

Sophia Grey

Posts: 69

Yuma, Arizona, US

Ive updated my port smile

May 18 13 07:41 am Link

Model

Hayley Corpuz

Posts: 29

Kent, Washington, US

I'm afraid my profile comes across too high maintenance sad And I used to be a secretary in an office. I am so afraid of sounding too business-y

May 26 13 06:06 pm Link

Model

Dimitrius C

Posts: 236

Gary, Indiana, US

I am in smile

May 29 13 08:45 am Link

Model

Anjie

Posts: 17

Oxford, Mississippi, US

I am curious to know.

Jun 03 13 04:41 pm Link

Model

Isabella Richards

Posts: 27

Cincinnati, Ohio, US

I'm interested in what you think smile

Jun 03 13 04:47 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Sophia Grey wrote:
Ive updated my port smile

What you've written is lovely. I like that you thought outside the box and wrote something that indirectly describes yourself. Something that might make it better could be an invitation to view your portfolio. Creative thinking. smile

Jun 18 13 09:43 pm Link

Model

Eric J Li

Posts: 11

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at my humble portfolio!

Thanks in advance!
Eric

Jun 18 13 09:54 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Hayley Corpuz wrote:
I'm afraid my profile comes across too high maintenance sad And I used to be a secretary in an office. I am so afraid of sounding too business-y

I can see how that might be the case. Combined with the image you've chosen for your avatar--not that it's bad--the "voice" of your bio comes across as kind of uninteresting. Let me offer two suggestions to liven it up a little.

First, your bio.
If I were to pull out the meat of your first two paragraphs, I would sum it up like this: "I'm a student and artist who wants to get into boudoir and pin up modelling. If you'd like to work with me contact me with your ideas! I am open to everything and I am willing to work TFCD."

And second, add a variety of expressions in your portfolio. You have almost the same look on your face in all of them; adding some variety will add interest and give you more options for an avatar that sets a more energetic tone to your bio.

I hope this is helpful.

Jun 18 13 10:07 pm Link

Model

BlackSilk_GothModel

Posts: 200

Lynchburg, Virginia, US

I'm not sure.

Jun 18 13 10:25 pm Link

Model

Ciara Randall

Posts: 6

Ithaca, New York, US

This is by far an amazing post.
I too would love some feedback.

Jun 19 13 09:28 am Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Dimitrius C wrote:
I am in smile

Your bio is actually quite similar to this one, http://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?threa … st18325134

I only mention that because both are unusual styles of bios--and that's not a bad thing. My suggestion for you is the same as for her, which is that adding a friendly invitation might help ground it just a bit. Really, though, because its more artistic than informational its fine the way it is.

Jun 21 13 09:15 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Gwendoline Klaw wrote:
I am curious to know.

Gwendoline,

Cool name. I like how you describe your preferred genres, you make it very clear and precise.

There is one sentences in your bio that feels a tad awkward.

"I am back in the UK {from May-August}. Let's continue to collaborate together to produce great work!"

I realize you're talking to the UK as a whole when you mention collaboration, but citing one who has likely never worked with you before to "continue" to collaborate doesn't make a lot of sense. Just taking out that part makes the invitation more applicable. "Let's collaborate to produce great work!"

I hope this is helpful

Jun 21 13 09:28 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Isabella Richards wrote:
I'm interested in what you think smile

Your bio has a good backbone, I think it just needs an extra punch. Maybe something like...

"I'm an interior design student and 2013's Miss Earth Ohio. I love modeling because it allows me to play different roles to create beauty and art, which are my passions. I take every opportunity to learn new things and meet new people."

Your avatar image is amazing, by the way.

Jun 21 13 09:39 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Eric Ji Wei Li wrote:
I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at my humble portfolio!

Thanks in advance!
Eric

Your bio isn't grammatically perfect, but because you've included pertinent details and its written in your own voice I think it's fine. smile

Only recommended change: out-going > outgoing

Jun 21 13 09:45 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Black_Silk wrote:
I'm not sure.

I like that your bio clearly states what you want and the kind of people you'll work with. You state your goals simply and offer a list of ideas you want to include in your portfolio. I especially like the list of "unprofessional" people you've encountered. Some people might not like that but I, too, know from experience on this site that getting a heads up on stuff like that is very helpful.

Jun 21 13 09:53 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Ciara Randall wrote:
This is by far an amazing post.
I too would love some feedback.

High praise! Thanks. smile

I like how you introduce yourself, it shows personality and confidence in a very concise way. I noticed only one thing I would change, which is this: "I am a mommy too a beautiful little girl..."

"Too" is synonymous with "also".
"To" is used with directions or ownership. In this sentence, "too" should be " to".

Jun 21 13 10:07 pm Link

Model

Eric J Li

Posts: 11

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Perceptive Portraits wrote:
Your bio isn't grammatically perfect, but because you've included pertinent details and its written in your own voice I think it's fine. smile

Only recommended change: out-going > outgoing

Thank you so much! I am ESL so there is still some grammatical issues these days. I have done some correction and improvement so hopefully it looks professional!

Does my bio sound confident? What do you feel when you read it?

Thanks again,
Eric

Jun 21 13 11:51 pm Link

Model

Celine Sophia

Posts: 503

Santa Barbara, California, US

How is my bio, do I need to add anything or delete something?

Jun 24 13 08:51 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Celine Sophia wrote:
How is my bio, do I need to add anything or delete something?

Your bio isn't bad, though it could use some more energy. You say you're a dancer, maybe emphasize that as it relates to your modeling.

"I've lived life as a trained flamenco, jazz, and hip hop dancer and am a member of the Zemenco Dance Company. To me, modeling is a natural progression from dance. What I lack in modeling experience I make up for with intense enthusiasm and passion for performing."

That could get you started. Even with your bio as it is, knowing your skill and seeing the potential in your portfolio, I'd book you. Seriously, if you're ever near Salt Lake please give me a call.

I hope your senior year is awesome!

Jun 25 13 08:27 pm Link

Model

SHIRA

Posts: 33

Spartanburg, South Carolina, US

Tell me, please smile

Jun 27 13 12:15 pm Link

Model

Raven Blake

Posts: 58

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Would love some input smile

Jun 27 13 10:04 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

SHIRA wrote:
Tell me, please smile

Confident? Yes. Interesting? Sure. Long? A little.

Here's the thing about including so much: you, probably from personal experience, know that there are people out there who will want to contact you for shoots that you describe as trashy. You probably wanted to word your bio to avoid such photographers and/or GWCs in general. But honestly, what you put in there to keep them away doesn't matter much--because its likely they won't even read your bio anyway. They'll just contact you if they think you're hot and not care what your interests really are or what kind of TF you're willing to do.

My suggestion for you is to choose your preferred audience and write to them.

If you want to reach artists, and it sounds like you do, its okay for your tone to be casual. Fragmented sentences and writing more the way you talk would be more attractive to this type of person. Just clarifying the type of work you're willing to do for free should be enough description. Be careful not to speak for the artist's work, as everyone thinks differently (especially artists, wink). Phrases like "There's an obvious difference between trash and art. Don't cross the line," can come across as threatening. What's obvious to you might not be so obvious to someone else.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't include a list of "won'ts"; being clear about what you're willing to do is never a bad thing, your career would just benefit more from expressing your ability to do what you do we'll without being off putting. Am I making any sense? I hope this is at least a little bit helpful to you.

Jun 29 13 01:13 am Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 245

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Raven Blake wrote:
Would love some input smile

I like how transparent your bio is. It's short and to the point.

Your bio starts out with, "I enjoy when people take pictures of me..." Does this mean just taking pictures with their point-and-shoots or their camera phones or a pin camera while you pass them on the street? (Probably not.) If you mean that you like being photographed while modeling then you could modify that line to be something like "I enjoy being photographed."

One quick suggestion: if you're looking for more modeling gigs than just photo sessions (which are not always the same), perhaps portray yourself as someone with more direction about what they want to model. For example: "I love being photographed in nature but am open to almost any ideas." Offering a general suggestion could add more potential to getting booked.

I hope this helps.

Jun 29 13 01:27 am Link

Model

SHIRA

Posts: 33

Spartanburg, South Carolina, US

Jun 29 13 07:30 pm Link

Model

SHIRA

Posts: 33

Spartanburg, South Carolina, US

Yes, you are making sense. I definitely appreciate your critique and the time you take to offer such useful information. You put thought behind every sentence. It is clear that you understand the concept of "constructive" criticism. Now, i can reconstruct my bio. Thank you so much! smile

Jun 29 13 07:48 pm Link

Model

Aline Actress Athlete

Posts: 20

Reno, Nevada, US

Please let me know what you think about my bio and port.
Thank you.

Jun 30 13 02:40 am Link

Model

JonBeneteau

Posts: 38

Delta, Colorado, US

would love to hear any feedback!

Jun 30 13 02:00 pm Link

Model

SHIRA

Posts: 33

Spartanburg, South Carolina, US

Perceptive Portraits wrote:

Confident? Yes. Interesting? Sure. Long? A little.

Here's the thing about including so much: you, probably from personal experience, know that there are people out there who will want to contact you for shoots that you describe as trashy. You probably wanted to word your bio to avoid such photographers and/or GWCs in general. But honestly, what you put in there to keep them away doesn't matter much--because its likely they won't even read your bio anyway. They'll just contact you if they think you're hot and not care what your interests really are or what kind of TF you're willing to do.

My suggestion for you is to choose your preferred audience and write to them.

If you want to reach artists, and it sounds like you do, its okay for your tone to be casual. Fragmented sentences and writing more the way you talk would be more attractive to this type of person. Just clarifying the type of work you're willing to do for free should be enough description. Be careful not to speak for the artist's work, as everyone thinks differently (especially artists, wink). Phrases like "There's an obvious difference between trash and art. Don't cross the line," can come across as threatening. What's obvious to you might not be so obvious to someone else.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't include a list of "won'ts"; being clear about what you're willing to do is never a bad thing, your career would just benefit more from expressing your ability to do what you do we'll without being off putting. Am I making any sense? I hope this is at least a little bit helpful to you.

Yes, you are making sense. I definitely appreciate your critique and the time you take to offer such useful information. You put thought behind every sentence. It is clear that you understand the concept of "constructive" criticism. Now, i can reconstruct my bio. Thank you so much!

Jul 01 13 05:37 am Link

Model

Sophia Grey

Posts: 69

Yuma, Arizona, US

Perceptive Portraits wrote:

What you've written is lovely. I like that you thought outside the box and wrote something that indirectly describes yourself. Something that might make it better could be an invitation to view your portfolio. Creative thinking. smile

Thank you so much for taking your time to review my port bio! I know your time is valuable and having your thoughts/inputs is highly appreciated!

Jul 06 13 04:48 pm Link