Forums > Critique > Serious Critique > Does confidence live in your model bio?

Model

Malina van Leuven

Posts: 86

Brussels, Brussels, Belgium

I am soon going to change my profile text and was wondering what your thoughts and advice would be.
Thank you in advance because you seem to keep this going even if it must require lots of efforts.
Greets!

Jul 14 13 05:57 pm Link

Model

Tremmy

Posts: 19

Nairobi, Nairobi, Kenya

your opinion would be appreciated!

Jul 20 13 04:25 pm Link

Model

Cheyenne Demus

Posts: 8

Chicago, Illinois, US

Can I get an opinion please? smile

Aug 29 13 03:47 pm Link

Clothing Designer

Necia C

Posts: 4

Ventura, California, US

Aug 29 13 07:47 pm Link

Model

Zoe Harlotta

Posts: 28

Manchester, England, United Kingdom

I was wondering on whether I could get some advice on my bio smile Thanks

Aug 30 13 12:56 am Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Malinaa wrote:
I am soon going to change my profile text and was wondering what your thoughts and advice would be.
Thank you in advance because you seem to keep this going even if it must require lots of efforts.
Greets!

Malinaa,

Everything in your bio is fine except for this sentence, which doesn't make sense:

"Modeling and acting is something I do besides studying for the simple reason that I enjoy it and want to develop it as professional as possible, so I can spend more time within this industry."

What I think you're trying to say is, "In addition to modeling and acting, I like to study because I like it."

Since the sentence doesn't add much impact to your bio anyway, you could take it out and be just fine.

Good luck to you!

Aug 30 13 05:21 pm Link

Model

Randy Potvin

Posts: 188

Rochester, New York, US

I'd like to know!

Aug 30 13 05:44 pm Link

Model

M A U I

Posts: 1587

Harare, Harare, Zimbabwe

I would say it has a fun and a serious side although I would love some opinions..

Aug 30 13 09:50 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Tremmy wrote:
your opinion would be appreciated!

Hi Tremmy,

The biggest statement that jumps out at me for improvement is this one:

"I am currently interested in 'enhancing' my portfolio. there is not much at the moment, but a journey of a thousand miles always has 'the first step'... I believe I will get there."

To me, this could be interpreted that you are happy wandering around those thousand miles and enhancement will just happen along the way. A potential client might be turned away by the idea that it is entirely on them to give you direction.

Wandering isn't bad; it's a great way to seek out who you want to become. But having some direction or at least a vision in mind so you know when you've discovered that someone--that's important too.

Instead, maybe something like this reflects what you actually meant to say: "I am always looking for unique ideas to enhance my portfolio on this journey of a thousand miles."

...It's not amazing but it might get you started. Good luck!

Aug 30 13 11:23 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Cheyenne Demus wrote:
Can I get an opinion please? smile

Cheyenne,

Your bio has a good skeleton, but I don't think it reflects the message you're trying to send. Grammatical mistakes are the most blaring; I'm not saying you need to be a spectacular writer but following the basic rules will improve your perceived credibility.

Your main message seems to be professionalism in all situations. If that is the case, I'd take out smiley faces and fix that grammar. Sentences begin with a capital letter and end with a period, a space comes before the next one, etc. You mention you are a perfectionist. Making these changes will demonstrate that much more clearly.

If I were to summarize your bio, I'd start with something like this:

"I am easy going, enthusiastic, and punctual. I'm always keen to add creative concepts, implied nude, body part modeling, and anything commercial. While I have tons of ideas I work hard to be open-minded and achieve your project's vision. I have experience in acting, promotional modeling, fashion shows, music videos, and hair shows.

I can travel up to ___ miles from Chicago without any extra fees.

Respect my time and I'll respect yours. If you're serious, contact me!"

Like I said, it doesn't have to be an English graduate paper. It should still sound like you.

Good luck out there!

Aug 30 13 11:40 pm Link

Model

E L I N

Posts: 199

Montreal, Quebec, Canada

I'd like to have your input on this please smile

Aug 31 13 06:06 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Necia C wrote:

I like how concise your bio is. One note: Swavorski = Swarovski

Aug 31 13 10:32 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Harlotti wrote:
I was wondering on whether I could get some advice on my bio smile Thanks

Harlotti,

My suggestion for you is to shorten your opening paragraph to not include how long you've been modeling or the locale of the photographers you've modeled for. Why, you ask? Because ultimately, in the end, all a potential client cares about is results. Taking that extra info out leaves more opportunity for a client to read about what you really want them to know about you: that you have experience in certain genres and are looking to expand the quality of your list.

Something like, "I'm interested in modeling lingerie and anything fetish. My wardrobe is very diverse and includes alternative clothing options such as latex items and a prom and wedding dress that can all be used to make magic happen," helps draw a clearer picture of what you have to offer--and it sounds like a lot.

I hope this helps.

Aug 31 13 10:47 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Randy Potvin wrote:
I'd like to know!

Hi Randy,

Your bio has good bones but sounds a little cookie-cutter. Networking, expanding portfolio, being easy to work with--these are all great goals and qualities to have, but to stand out it you need to be more specific. For example:

"To achieve my dream to be an actor and model, I'm here to network and build a portfolio that stuns. While I include some ideas in a list below, I'm willing to try anything that will help me achieve my goal."

It's your dream; fight for it! Good luck.

Aug 31 13 10:59 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

M A U I wrote:
I would say it has a fun and a serious side although I would love some opinions..

Aug 31 13 11:06 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

E L I N wrote:
I'd like to have your input on this please smile

Elin,

I like that your portfolio is simple and straight forward. You include pertinent details and organized it well.

Good luck!

Aug 31 13 11:10 pm Link

Model

Axioma

Posts: 6817

Gent, East Flanders, Belgium

Did an update, would love a review smile

Sep 01 13 12:58 am Link

Model

Heather Smythe

Posts: 367

Sacramento, California, US

Very interested smile

Sep 01 13 07:33 pm Link

Model

Meghan Devlin

Posts: 683

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

I wonder. smile

Sep 01 13 07:49 pm Link

Model

Celine Sophia

Posts: 503

Santa Barbara, California, US

How is it?

Sep 04 13 02:06 am Link

Model

Shirin Brigitte

Posts: 357

Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

Still doing it?

Sep 04 13 09:29 am Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Axioma wrote:
Did an update, would love a review smile

Axi,

You've chosen an interesting format for your bio and I kind of like that. Because its broken up that way I had to read it more carefully--which isn't a bad thing.

Sep 06 13 07:58 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Heather Smythe wrote:
Very interested smile

Heather,

Do you work in business? Your bio reads like a portfolio update--and that's not a bad thing. That means its simple, specific, and only includes applicable information. It encourages me as a reader to spend more time looking at your portfolio rather than trying to pick out the important stuff.

Sep 06 13 08:03 pm Link

Photographer

Wendy Hurst Portrait

Posts: 246

North Salt Lake, Utah, US

Meghan Devlin wrote:
I wonder. smile

Great bio! Enthusiastic, high energy, positive and clear. Those are all attributes I look for when hiring a model. Excellent text here, don't change a thing.

Sep 06 13 08:06 pm Link

Model

VeronicaB

Posts: 97

San Francisco, California, US

How about me?

Sep 07 13 10:35 am Link

Model

Celine Sophia

Posts: 503

Santa Barbara, California, US

oops sorry didnt see my previous post. My turn yet?  smile

Sep 09 13 01:38 pm Link

Model

AlexaRose

Posts: 29

Spokane, Washington, US

I'd love to know smile

Sep 09 13 02:22 pm Link

Model

D A N I

Posts: 4598

Little Rock, Arkansas, US

Please take a look at mine. Thanks

Sep 09 13 08:52 pm Link

Photographer

-The Dave-

Posts: 8706

Las Vegas, Nevada, US

Yes please smile

Sep 09 13 09:00 pm Link