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Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > 25yr old girl wants me to take her virginity

Model

Fergy

Posts: 22385

Fenton, Michigan, US

No.  Just no.

I remember my first time.  I know it doesn't always happen this way but I am still with him, we've been married almost 18 years. 

For the love of god don't do that "favor" for her. 

I know so many people who wish their first time was different.  Don't be that person that does someone a favor because they want it out of the way.  If she really wanted it out of the way she would've done it a long time ago.

Sep 19 12 07:26 pm Link

Makeup Artist

T

Posts: 53557

Washington, District of Columbia, US

http://witchesbrewonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/princesideo.gif

Sep 19 12 07:26 pm Link

Photographer

SME

Posts: 21029

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, US

Sawin? Is that you?

Sep 19 12 07:28 pm Link

Model

Fergy

Posts: 22385

Fenton, Michigan, US

T wrote:
http://witchesbrewonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/princesideo.gif

lol  Love it!

Sep 19 12 07:28 pm Link

Photographer

Lohkee

Posts: 12773

Maricopa, Arizona, US

Walk away or be prepared to pay (and you **will** pay dearly). Is this you Robert???

Sep 19 12 07:30 pm Link

Photographer

Through Elizabeths Eyes

Posts: 4916

Yelm, Washington, US

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyttisSGW21qewacoo2_250.gif

Sep 19 12 07:30 pm Link

Photographer

T Brown

Posts: 2460

Traverse City, Michigan, US

T wrote:
http://witchesbrewonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/princesideo.gif

yeah I know Prince but he don't get it...whatcha gonna do?

Sep 19 12 07:31 pm Link

Photographer

T Brown

Posts: 2460

Traverse City, Michigan, US

dp

Sep 19 12 07:31 pm Link

Model

hygvhgvkhy

Posts: 2092

Chicago, Illinois, US

macshot20 photography wrote:

It's more of the fear of know it could happen anywhere anytime. I mean if you where still a virgin and almost got raped, wouldn't that be on your mind to be like " omg being raped by two men would have been my first and probably would have had one of their child" wouldn't that be on ur mind all the time? I dunno , this is a fucked up situation I'm in hahaha

Haha no.. i would start carrying pepper spray& be more cautious about everything(dt thats possible..) but living with a constant fear of being raped just isnt worth it.
Is that why she wants to lose her virginity?
Rape is still just as bad whether or not youre a virgin...
It wont change anything, for college maybe, for the thoughts im thinking shes having, not so much.

Sep 19 12 07:31 pm Link

Photographer

udor

Posts: 22378

New York, New York, US

macshot20 photography wrote:
yea, im kinda scared cuz  we are ok friends and i think has a crush on me but i dont see her like that, she says she trusts me and wants to get it over with so should i be the one to do it or should i not?. obviously im not one of those kinda guys if im asking strangers if i should do it sooooo what should i do? lmfao

If you were a real friend you'd understand her dilemma and trust and you'd make her comfortable and do the deed!

It's a huge sign of trust, don't disappoint her!

The aforementioned is only valid if she is sexually attractive... if she's repulsive... it's a sacrifice that you don't have to make, unless you are ugly too or are in a dryspell...

It's your call!   smile

Sep 19 12 07:32 pm Link

Photographer

macshot20 photography

Posts: 291

Stockton, California, US

Chuckarelei wrote:

I'm a 50 year old man, and I want you to take my virginity too.

Hahaha that's a definently a no in all forms, and I'm sorry that you've never experienced such a pleasure. Maybe get one of those lifedolls or a sheep. Lmfao

Sep 19 12 07:33 pm Link

Photographer

Good Egg Productions

Posts: 15706

Orlando, Florida, US

Chuckarelei wrote:

I'm a 50 year old man, and I want you to take my virginity too.

Take it where??
If it's to the bowling alley or an arcade, you're on!!!

Sep 19 12 07:35 pm Link

guide forum

Photographer

Giacomo Cirrincioni

Posts: 21383

New York, New York, US

macshot20 photography wrote:

Ok yea see she was thinking of doing the same thing , so you wouldn't do it again if u had a chance?

No, I wouldn't.  She was a lovely girl, but no...

Sep 19 12 07:37 pm Link

Photographer

cinema photography

Posts: 4418

Mission Viejo, California, US

http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t105/pho-tog-ra-phy/thrd_zpsce4763df.jpg

On a long list of bad ideas, this is up there with "Hey, lets clone dinosaurs"

Sep 19 12 07:56 pm Link

Photographer

MF productions

Posts: 2020

San Jose, California, US

Umm don't.  I mean if she's mature enough she'll just think of it as another thing to sign off her bucket list and you two will  still be "Ok" friends but then what if she becomes clingy and your "ok" friendship goes from "Ok"  to 'um , that wasn't a good idea.  Wear protection .

Sep 19 12 09:07 pm Link

Photographer

Peach Jones

Posts: 6386

Champaign, Illinois, US

Eleanor R wrote:

Some people find firsts important: first day of school, first communion, first job... It might not be a big deal to you, but it obviously is to them, so why dump on it by trying to convince them it's not important?

+1

Sep 19 12 09:09 pm Link

Model

Maksim Syomin

Posts: 7

Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada

macshot20 photography wrote:

No I'm not gunna put her on blast like that. This is bad enough already haha

Hahahahahaha

Sep 19 12 09:11 pm Link

Photographer

Peach Jones

Posts: 6386

Champaign, Illinois, US

I would say no, don't do it.

I can remember the first woman I had sex with. I can remember her name, her measurements, how much she weighed, the address of the house we did it in.....all those things. But if I was to bump into her in the shopping mall, I don't even think she would have a clue who I am.

Just saying, she will remember you for the rest of her life. Is that important to you?

Sep 19 12 09:13 pm Link

Photographer

MKPhoto

Posts: 5665

Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

Dumb question, dumb answer

NVMD...

Sep 19 12 09:14 pm Link

Photographer

AtomicPenguin

Posts: 449

New York, New York, US

http://marylandshooter.com/ar15/Funny/ejecTwo.jpg

Sep 19 12 09:18 pm Link

Photographer

The Art of Churchwell

Posts: 3171

QUEENS VILLAGE, New York, US

I get virgins asking me all the time.

Sep 19 12 09:19 pm Link

Photographer

SKPhoto

Posts: 25781

Newark, California, US

AdelaideJohn1967 wrote:

True but it seems everyone fixates on this "ooh tonights the night" I'm going to lose my virginity thing ..... Even when I was a teen that was the big fixation..  I just never saw it that way. It's just an act two people do...

Not everyone is as disconnected or disassociated.

Sep 19 12 09:20 pm Link

Model

NayNay

Posts: 82

Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

macshot20 photography wrote:
yea, im kinda scared cuz  we are ok friends and i think has a crush on me but i dont see her like that, she says she trusts me and wants to get it over with so should i be the one to do it or should i not?. obviously im not one of those kinda guys if im asking strangers if i should do it sooooo what should i do? lmfao

Are you speaking English, your spelling is appalling! I meen isntt tat how 10 yr oldz rite on facey?

Sep 19 12 10:52 pm Link

guide forum

Model

Anna Adrielle

Posts: 18763

Antwerp, Antwerp, Belgium

no

Sep 20 12 12:23 am Link

guide forum

Model

Anna Adrielle

Posts: 18763

Antwerp, Antwerp, Belgium

macshot20 photography wrote:

It's more of the fear of know it could happen anywhere anytime. I mean if you where still a virgin and almost got raped, wouldn't that be on your mind to be like " omg being raped by two men would have been my first and probably would have had one of their child" wouldn't that be on ur mind all the time? I dunno , this is a fucked up situation I'm in hahaha

I'm sorry but... wost case scenario: she has sex with you for the first time. 2 days later, she gets raped. do you really think she'll go "oh, I was raped, but I wasn't a virgin anymore so that's okay". I mean, seriously? Rape will always be bad!

if she is constantly in fear of getting raped, she needs councelling. I think at this point, she has a very emotionally unhealthy relationship with sex, and she should probably deal with that first before asksing random friends to take her virginity.

Sep 20 12 12:27 am Link

Model

Rachael Bueckert

Posts: 1121

Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

macshot20 photography wrote:

It's more of the fear of know it could happen anywhere anytime. I mean if you where still a virgin and almost got raped, wouldn't that be on your mind to be like " omg being raped by two men would have been my first and probably would have had one of their child" wouldn't that be on ur mind all the time? I dunno , this is a fucked up situation I'm in hahaha

*sigh*

This is a really tough one... a really tough one.. because I had that experience. My first time wasn't consensual, and it haunts me. I really wish I had lost it to someone I knew and cared for, and who I knew cared for me. It's a horrible fucking thing to have done to you, even worst when that person is taking even more than just your body.

I say, you have another very long, deep conversation with her about this. Maybe it will be the best thing for her. Maybe not. You will both have to talk about it. And she should carry pepper spray with her or something.

Sep 20 12 12:49 am Link

Model

Rachael Bueckert

Posts: 1121

Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

Peach Jones wrote:
I would say no, don't do it.

I can remember the first woman I had sex with. I can remember her name, her measurements, how much she weighed, the address of the house we did it in.....all those things. But if I was to bump into her in the shopping mall, I don't even think she would have a clue who I am.

Just saying, she will remember you for the rest of her life. Is that important to you?

I want to take a guys virginity and be remembered like that sad

Sep 20 12 12:51 am Link

Photographer

alessandro2009

Posts: 7538

Florence, Toscana, Italy

macshot20 photography wrote:
yea, im kinda scared cuz  we are ok friends and i think has a crush on me but i dont see her like that, she says she trusts me and wants to get it over with so should i be the one to do it or should i not?. obviously im not one of those kinda guys if im asking strangers if i should do it sooooo what should i do? lmfao

Simply decide according to your conscience.
You said that you don't see her like that, so you have already decided.

While if you have interest on her, could be different.

While if she wasn't virgin - since a virgin don't known the sensation that came during sex - have sex there would see nothing wrong since both of you are adults, despite the hypocrisy of society about anything related to sexuality.

Sep 20 12 01:03 am Link

Photographer

DANACOLE

Posts: 10163

Oslo, Oslo, Norway

the first time usually sucks anyways for a girl.. So do you want to keep the friendship intact? Especially since you don't like her that way..
Then don't do it...

or if you want to be known as the guy friend who I lost my virginity to and the sex was horrible and uncomfortable?
Then do it lol

Sep 20 12 01:09 am Link

Model

hygvhgvkhy

Posts: 2092

Chicago, Illinois, US

DANACOLE wrote:
the first time usually sucks anyways for a girl.. So do you want to keep the friendship intact? Especially since you don't like her that way..
Then don't do it...

or if you want to be known as the guy friend who I lost my virginity to and the sex was horrible and uncomfortable?
Then do it lol

She's in her 20s I'd hope she knows this by now.. But then again..

Sep 20 12 01:19 am Link

Photographer

Cherrystone

Posts: 36706

Columbus, Ohio, US

Sita Mae wrote:
Sawin? Is that you?

+1

Dear Penthouse Forum.....

Sep 20 12 02:08 am Link

Photographer

Paolo Diavolo

Posts: 8789

Martinez, California, US

macshot20 photography wrote:
what should i do?

Take her out for cake. refer to the cake as "sex".
Tell her you had sex with her, and remain friends.

Stewie Griffin: Oh, I don't know, Olivia. Uh, maybe we are in a sexless marriage. We have yet to have sex.
Olivia: Do you even know what sex is?
Stewie Griffin: That's not the point, don't change the... it's a kind of cake?

http://static.tvfanatic.com/images/gallery/double-date.jpg


plan b: introduce her to me.
....i'll bake her a cake. giggity.

Sep 20 12 02:40 am Link

Photographer

John Photography

Posts: 12958

Adelaide, South Australia, Australia

SKPhoto wrote:

Not everyone is as disconnected or disassociated.

I beg your pardon.

I'm neither disconnected or disassociated and have never felt that way. I just never got so excited about losing my virginity.  It was a pleasant enough experience, but nothing that I wanted or felt the need to get exciteable over.

Sep 20 12 03:04 am Link

Model

MandaMaePorter

Posts: 712

Redmond, Washington, US

AdelaideJohn1967 wrote:

True but it seems everyone fixates on this "ooh tonights the night" I'm going to lose my virginity thing ..... Even when I was a teen that was the big fixation..  I just never saw it that way. It's just an act two people do...

It will never be just an act to me. Sex is a very important and spiritual thing for me. It is based in my religious upbringing. The way I view sex is that it is the fruition of trust, love, honor and respect for one another. I would never just casually let sex be sex. My first time was incredibly emotional, tender, sweet, and connecting between me and that person. That person is the only one who will have that first experience with me. It's a very big thing to me.

Sep 20 12 03:44 am Link

Photographer

Stay Puftt

Posts: 98

Bilisht, Devoll, Albania

A girl I once dated had lost her v to a rapist, and couldn't talk about it years later. I agree it appears to be a much worse experience than just being raped, mostly because our culture places such a big importance on this one time event.

That said, if she is a v and you don't have feelings for her there is a 99.9% chance she will hate you for life afterwards, even if you are absolutely clear on that up front.

Personally, I think there is an 80% chance that she is not really a v and she just wants to bang you. In that case, you are much less at risk of negative fall out.

Sep 20 12 05:02 am Link

Photographer

Vivus Hussein Denuo

Posts: 64209

New York, New York, US

There are few reasons to turn down nookie that's offered, and you haven't mentioned any.  So, do her.

Sep 20 12 05:13 am Link

Photographer

Drew Smith Photography

Posts: 5210

Nottingham, England, United Kingdom

MMR Digital wrote:
Uhmm, how do you return virginity?

You have to have kept the receipt and take it back within 28 days.

Sep 20 12 05:14 am Link

Photographer

Sungoddess Studios

Posts: 5169

Atlantic Highlands, New Jersey, US

http://giveneyestosee.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/homer-woo-hoo.jpg

Sep 20 12 05:15 am Link

Photographer

976 Photography

Posts: 4599

Shreveport, Louisiana, US

While I don't think it's a great idea.... I don't think it's as bad of an idea as everyone is making it out to be.

After all, this girl isn't 16, or even 18... she's 25. She should be mature enough by now to understand and handle this situation for what it is. Let's look at it this way.

You said she had been attacked before, I'm sure she has (had) a hard time dealing with that and it has likely shaken her trust in men. Her wanting to do this with you, a trusted friend, may be a way of her gaining some of that back. If she were to get wined and dined by some a-hole that was just looking for a one-night-stand and then never heard from again that could destroy any faith she still has left in men at all. I don't know where her head is regarding all of that, but it's a possibility.

Everyone here is saying "losing your virginity is not that big of a deal." Well it's easy to say that when you've already done it. Obviously it's a big deal to her, and for someone who's already 25 it can be embarrassing for her. Would it really be better for her to wait till she "falls in love" with someone before she loses it? Sure there's a remote chance that she'll find THE guy and they live happily ever after. But there's a greater chance of her NOT finding the right guy and still choosing to stay with him because he was the one she lost her virginity to.

Likewise, yes there's a chance she may cling to you and want to expect more. But then you said you're not "that guy" which makes me wonder if maybe you're the one afraid of getting attached? She seems willing to go into this situation not expecting anything from you on the "long term" and if she's serious and honest about that you'll need to be honest with yourself as well. Is that something you can handle?

I'm not saying you should do it, but the two of you need to be honest with each other on this matter, and honest with yourselves. It really all depends on your friendship, is this something that the BOTH of you can handle? None of us here can answer that for you. Good luck, either way.

Sep 20 12 06:06 am Link

Photographer

Michael Broughton

Posts: 2244

Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

send her to me. i'm used to disappointing women sexually. borat

Sep 20 12 09:34 am Link