Forums > Model Colloquy > Jealousy/Disapproval from Significant Other

Model

ChaiNoir

Posts: 345

Adelaide, South Australia, Australia

MichelleGenevieve wrote:

Almost EVERYONE has had to deal with this before.  I solved the problem by giving my boyfriend a new title - EX boyfriend!

+1 big_smile

Oct 14 12 06:26 pm Link

Model

Roxy Euro Marie

Posts: 29

Hancock, Maryland, US

Celine B wrote:
I'm pretty new to the modeling world, and have already run into quite a big hurdle. My boyfriend does not approve my modeling. It makes him quite upset and jealous. I want to be considerate of his feelings, however.. I feel like this is all very harmless. I'm not posing nude, or in sexually explicit poses. I'm not posing with other male models. I have fun modeling. It makes me happy and gives me an extra confidence boost.
Is it wrong of me to not want to stop? Has anyone ever dealt with this before? What did you do?

I'm in the same boat with you.
my boyfriend doesn't really know what to think about me doing modeling.
He sorta supports it sorta doesn't i tell him all the time its harmless but he just don't know what to believe

Oct 14 12 06:42 pm Link

Model

Jules NYC

Posts: 16628

New York, New York, US

Roxy Maire wrote:

I'm in the same boat with you.
my boyfriend doesn't really know what to think about me doing modeling.
He sorta supports it sorta doesn't i tell him all the time its harmless but he just don't know what to believe

Why don't you discuss it with your boyfriend and come to a conclusion yourself and hopefully with him ultimately... instead of asking a bunch of strangers on MM where they are going to rally for you to dump him.

Did you consider your audience for your personal business?

smile

Oct 14 12 06:56 pm Link

Model

Selina Lee

Posts: 75

Scottsdale, Arizona, US

Roxy Maire wrote:
I'm in the same boat with you.
my boyfriend doesn't really know what to think about me doing modeling.
He sorta supports it sorta doesn't i tell him all the time its harmless but he just don't know what to believe

In your situation, I'd say to see if you can find a photog who would be fine with him coming to a shoot, just so he can see what goes on. That may sway him to the supportive side.

Good God am I lucky my boyfriend is very "Oh okay, let me know when you'll be done with your shoot so I can make dinner."
smile

Oct 14 12 07:01 pm Link

Model

V Laroche

Posts: 2746

Khowmeyn, Markazī, Iran

So where's the OP?

Oct 14 12 07:05 pm Link

Photographer

Michael Broughton

Posts: 2252

Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

V Laroche wrote:
So where's the OP?

hopefully she's off reminding her boyfriend that nobody's forcing him to date a model.

Oct 14 12 07:24 pm Link

Model

V Laroche

Posts: 2746

Khowmeyn, Markazī, Iran

Michael Broughton wrote:

hopefully she's off reminding her boyfriend that nobody's forcing him to date a model.

"dude problems"

Oct 14 12 11:52 pm Link

Photographer

Teila K Day Photography

Posts: 1945

Richmond, Indiana, US

Michael Broughton wrote:

hopefully she's off reminding her boyfriend that nobody's forcing him to date a model.

That is exactly what she should be reminding him.

  What a "boyfriend" thinks about modeling shouldn't ever be a concern for a woman unless he's concerned about a safety issue, aside from that models who worry about what their boyfriend thinks about their modeling are already being the stereotype that no woman should want to be associated with:

A spineless, horribly un-empowered, all-to-easily-influenced-and-controlled girl who can't think for herself and be a captain of her own ship called "her life".

The dynamic changes (somewhat) for married people (that's another thread)...  But a boyfriend coming between you and your dreams, aspirations, whims, etc., is just plain ridiculous, and speaks volumes about a woman's maturity!

... it also sets the stage of the role you'll play in future relationships.

Sure, as some have mentioned, you can sit down and talk with your guy and come to an understanding, but that shouldn't have to happen in the first place, and there are too many educated, intelligent guys with common sense who don't have a confidence problem to choose from...  that is... if you're a reasonably intelligent, educated gal... with common sense.

You get the point.

Oct 15 12 09:50 am Link

Artist/Painter

Paul Godbey

Posts: 32

Birmingham, Alabama, US

It happend to male models also. Had one male model who had SO problems, girlfriend and such. He missed posing for a drawing session for our group. Turns out the girlfriiend shot him in the butt with an arrow. Next time he came to poses there was two little puncture dots on each side of hie gluteus maximus.

Basically, if there's BF/GF problems the model stops posing.

Oct 15 12 10:33 am Link

Model

LizzyB

Posts: 2224

Rochester, New York, US

Jules NYC wrote:

Why don't you discuss it with your boyfriend and come to a conclusion yourself and hopefully with him ultimately... instead of asking a bunch of strangers on MM where they are going to rally for you to dump him.

Did you consider your audience for your personal business?

smile

oh i'm sure she did and expected empathy and maybe some tips on how to talk to her bf, sadly she was incorrect to think that'd happen...
yes i do understand that many times the bf is a jealous, controlling a$$hole that needs to be dumped, but we can't make that assumption because we don't know him.  sometimes it really is a matter of have a distorted perception of what modeling is about.

Oct 15 12 08:05 pm Link

Model

Jules NYC

Posts: 16628

New York, New York, US

Lizzy Borden wrote:
oh i'm sure she did and expected empathy and maybe some tips on how to talk to her bf, sadly she was incorrect to think that'd happen...
yes i do understand that many times the bf is a jealous, controlling a$$hole that needs to be dumped, but we can't make that assumption because we don't know him.  sometimes it really is a matter of have a distorted perception of what modeling is about.

I get that, and I do understand empathy... believe me!
Thing is though, I see these threads all the time.

Why is it a crime for a man NOT to like a woman modeling?
Maybe I don't like long-shore sea fisherman... damn, that was random and completely untrue, but come on...

If someone had a problem with what I do, I'd examine how important it was to me and if the person in question was worth me examining it.
If it involved nudity, then that's something to examine...
If it involved me just walking down a runway, you got to be kiddin' me.

I'm a fair-minded person and the right guy would make me examine things I never did before. 

To change my passions and the inner-core of my being?
No can do.

Why oh why do people try to change someone after they start a relationship?

lol

Oct 15 12 08:34 pm Link

Model

charvisioku

Posts: 61

York, England, United Kingdom

I don't understand what his problem could possibly be, especially if you're not even doing nudes or shooting with male models. It sounds like he has a possessive streak to me. Don't stop just because he's jealous; it honestly just sounds like he's being selfish and irrational.
I could have understood a little better if you'd been doing shots making out with guys or shooting nudes - jealousy's pretty much natural for some people if that was the case. I know I wouldn't like my boyfriend to do nudes with female models even though I'm fully aware it's irrational jealousy.
But normal, fully-clothed modelling? It's giving you confidence and it's what you want to do, so keep doing it. He has no right to stop you.

Oct 23 12 06:31 pm Link

Model

Jojo West

Posts: 972

Washington, District of Columbia, US

Celine B wrote:
I'm pretty new to the modeling world, and have already run into quite a big hurdle. My boyfriend does not approve my modeling. It makes him quite upset and jealous. I want to be considerate of his feelings, however.. I feel like this is all very harmless. I'm not posing nude, or in sexually explicit poses. I'm not posing with other male models. I have fun modeling. It makes me happy and gives me an extra confidence boost.
Is it wrong of me to not want to stop? Has anyone ever dealt with this before? What did you do?

Sorry you're having to deal with this. My ex boyfriend actually suggested that his girlfriend (me) modeling would be embarrassing. I see now that it was all insecurity on his end, you can't fix that. The relationship began to go downhill because I realized it didn't stop at modeling. I met someone new and got married and he's very supportive and if you look on my port I AM getting nakey. He even encourages me to do more nudes and fetish work. He's proud that his wife is pretty enough to photograph. As someone who studied psychology (not a shrink, but studied) I can tell you that you should do what makes you happy, it doesn't take a degree to know that. If modeling is something you enjoy, it makes you feel good about yourself and brings joy to your life, don't stop.

I don't use that whole YOLO catch phrase, but this is the only life we get, and you're young. Think about what makes you happy and go for it. Good luck.

Nov 08 12 06:44 am Link