Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > We need some good Romney jokes

Photographer

ArtisticPhotography

Posts: 7699

Buffalo, New York, US

I haven't heard any. 

And no, you can't just say "Romney IS a joke" because that is not a joke nor is it funny.

I'll start with some sorry example and hopefully there will be better ones.  As I said, we need to good ones and these aren't them!

-----------------------

Why did Romney cross the road: Because he wanted to change sides, just like does with everything else.

How money Bain executives does it take to change a light bulb.  3.  One to change the light bulb, one to buy a florescent light company, and one to lobby to get incandescent bulbs outlawed.

Mitt Romney walked into a bar and said 'Ouch'. 

What do you call a 1st generation guy who's family is from Mexico and doesn't speak Spanish: Mitt Romney.

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and Lance Armstrong.  They both will do anything to win, but Romney is about $90 million richer.

Oct 07 12 06:34 pm Link

Photographer

Jay Edwards

Posts: 18287

Fort Lauderdale, Florida, US

yawn

Oct 07 12 07:18 pm Link

Photographer

Done and Gone

Posts: 7650

Chiredzi, Masvingo, Zimbabwe

Jerry Sandusky and Mitt Romney were walking down the street, talking. There was a little boy walking about 30 feet ahead of them and Jerry said to Mitt "You see that little boy ahead of us?"

"Yes" said Mitt.

"Let's screw him" said Jerry.

"Out of what?" said Mitt.

Oct 07 12 07:20 pm Link

Photographer

Let There Be Light

Posts: 7657

Los Angeles, California, US

Late night Mitt Romney

"Mitt Romney says he's never paid less than 13% in taxes, which I think is fair because only 13% of his money is in this country." –Jay Leno

"A hurricane is scheduled to hit Tampa during the Republican Convention. These winds are so strong they could actually blow some of Mitt Romney's money back in the United States." –Jay Leno

"Paul Ryan just released his tax returns for the last two years, and it turns out he and his wife had a combined income of over $323,000 last year. To which Mitt Romney said, 'See, I do reach out to poor people." –Jay Leno

"Republicans like Paul Ryan because they say he's a fiscal conservative, and that's a perfect balance for Romney who's a guy that has an elevator for his Cadillacs." –David Letterman

"Paul Ryan is full of excitement, he's drawing big crowds. The only thing holding Paul Ryan back now according to political experts is Mitt Romney." –David Letterman

"Speaking of Paul Ryan, a new poll actually found that 42 percent of Americans do not approve of Mitt Romney's running mate, which isn't too bad considering most Americans don't approve of Paul Ryan's running mate." –Jimmy Fallon

"In college Paul Ryan drove the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. So he and Romney have something in common. Both have the experience of driving a car with a dog on the roof." –David Letterman

"Mitt Romney is hoping to energize Republicans by announcing Paul Ryan as his running mate. Seriously? That's like trying to spice up a bowl of oatmeal with more oatmeal." –Jimmy Fallon

"They say that Paul Ryan will humanize Romney. And I thought, hell, an amoeba could humanize Romney." – David Letterman

"Mitt Romney has picked Paul Ryan as his running mate. Experts say Ryan can add something vital to this campaign that Mitt Romney lacks: a personality." –Jay Leno

"It is crucial that Romney pick a running mate who will help him with the groups he's weak with: women, Hispanics, African Americans, Evangelical Christians – and Republicans." –Stephen Colbert

"Mitt Romney is claiming he’s going to create 12 million jobs in his first term. But he hasn’t said yet if he’ll create them in China or India.” –Conan O'Brien

"Mitt Romney annoyed the British by saying that London seemed unprepared for the Olympics. You know, putting his foot in his mouth like that is not very presidential. Vice presidential, sure. Yeah, but not presidential." –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney's search for a vice president continues. As you know, one of Mitt Romney's problems is that he's never hired an American for a job before, so this is new." –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney has been giving his volunteers a free sweatshirt for making phone calls on his behalf. The sweatshirts are just like Romney, 100 percent reversible." -Jimmy Fallon

"This Facebook fiasco is one of the biggest clusterf**ks ever on Wall Street. Regular people got screwed and the banks and the insiders did okay. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, 'The American Dream.'" –Bill Maher



"Mitt Romney was attacking Obama about our failing education system. He has a point. We are graduating millions of people in this country who are so lacking in basic analytical skills, they are considering voting for Mitt Romney." –Bill Maher



"A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond to this and said, ‘It is appalling that Obama spent his teenage years goofing around and smoking pot when he should have been pinning down gay kids and cutting their hair." –Bill Maher

"Mitt Romney believes that marriage should be between one man and one woman. Which is better than his grandfather, who believed that it should be between one man and five women." -Jimmy Kimmel

Oct 08 12 04:44 pm Link

Photographer

Mike Kelcher

Posts: 12895

Minneapolis, Minnesota, US

Romney and Obama were discussing things like forged birth certificates, Rev. Wright, Bill Ayers, socialism, the true cost of ObamaCare, the economy etc. Obama asked Romney, "When you decided to run for POTUS, why didn't you seal all of your college and birth records?"  Romney replied, "I didn't have anything to hide."  Puzzled by this, Obama asked, "but what about your tax records?" Romney replied,  "I'm more concerned about the domestic economic issues". Obama replied, "Kenya or Indonesia?"

http://www.essence.com/sites/default/files/images/2012/10/04/obama-romney1-lead_0.jpg

Oct 08 12 04:58 pm Link

Artist/Painter

ernst tischler

Posts: 15199

Cut and Shoot, Texas, US

Michael L. wrote:
Jerry Sandusky and Mitt Romney were walking down the street, talking. There was a little boy walking about 30 feet ahead of them and Jerry said to Mitt "You see that little boy ahead of us?"

"Yes" said Mitt.

"Let's screw him" said Jerry.

"Out of what?" said Mitt.

That's a weak adaptation of an old Preist and Rabbi joke.

Oct 08 12 05:58 pm Link

Photographer

Done and Gone

Posts: 7650

Chiredzi, Masvingo, Zimbabwe

ernst tischler wrote:

That's a weak adaptation of an old Preist and Rabbi joke.

Ahh, but I have proven you have nothing better to do than to critique jokes in Soapbox.

That is 10 times more pathetic!!! big_smile

Oct 09 12 01:22 am Link

Photographer

hbutz New York

Posts: 3241

Ronkonkoma, New York, US

How do you know when a politician is lying?


answer: Mitt Romney


I really suck at this.

Oct 09 12 04:15 am Link

Photographer

Blue Cube Imaging

Posts: 11303

Ashland, Oregon, US

Moderator Note!
Moved to OT, lacks substance for SB.

Oct 09 12 08:43 am Link

Photographer

Cherrystone

Posts: 36720

Columbus, Ohio, US

Just listen to what he says and spins.....isn't that enough of a joke?

Oct 09 12 09:24 am Link

Photographer

Tore

Posts: 13710

Stamford, Connecticut, US

roll How about some good Obama jokes?

Oct 09 12 09:31 am Link

Artist/Painter

ernst tischler

Posts: 15199

Cut and Shoot, Texas, US

ernst tischler wrote:
That's a weak adaptation of an old Preist and Rabbi joke.

Michael L. wrote:
Ahh, but I have proven you have nothing better to do than to critique jokes in Soapbox.

That is 10 times more pathetic!!! big_smile

...and I have proven you have nothing better to do than critique a critique of a joke in Soapbox.

That is 100 time more pathetic!!!  lol

Oct 09 12 10:03 am Link

Artist/Painter

ernst tischler

Posts: 15199

Cut and Shoot, Texas, US

K C M wrote:
roll How about some good Obama jokes?

Obama is a sad joke.

So is Romney.

...there is no punch line in what their ilk is doing to our great country.

Oct 09 12 10:04 am Link

Photographer

37photog

Posts: 692

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US

Oct 10 12 06:21 am Link

Photographer

PhillipM

Posts: 6557

Martin, Tennessee, US

Politics is a joke

Oct 10 12 06:33 am Link

Photographer

Thuy Anh

Posts: 5281

Lubbock, Texas, US

Oct 10 12 07:25 am Link

Photographer

Thuy Anh

Posts: 5281

Lubbock, Texas, US

Oct 10 12 07:28 am Link

Photographer

Jerry Nemeth

Posts: 28014

Dearborn, Michigan, US

Blue Cube Imaging wrote:
Moved to OT, lacks substance for SB.

lol  I've never realized that SB had substance.

Oct 10 12 07:29 am Link

Photographer

Tore

Posts: 13710

Stamford, Connecticut, US

Jerry Nemeth wrote:

lol  I've never realized that SB had substance.

A sticky substance. wink

Oct 10 12 07:31 am Link

Photographer

rp_photo

Posts: 42495

Houston, Texas, US

ArtisticPhotography wrote:
I haven't heard any. 

And no, you can't just say "Romney IS a joke" because that is not a joke nor is it funny.

Obama and Biden are the true jokes, but they aren't that funny.

Romney is who we seriously need.

Oct 10 12 07:33 am Link

Photographer

Accidental Plateau

Posts: 7715

Brooklyn, New York, US

rp_photo wrote:

Obama and Biden are the true jokes, but they aren't that funny.

Romney is who we seriously need.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJfUB_GRzEk

Oct 10 12 07:36 am Link

Photographer

rp_photo

Posts: 42495

Houston, Texas, US

Accidental  Plateau wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJfUB_GRzEk

ROFL!

Went straight to my FB wall.

Oct 10 12 08:05 am Link

Photographer

rp_photo

Posts: 42495

Houston, Texas, US

Blue Cube Imaging wrote:
Moved to OT, lacks substance for SB.

Just like Obama smile

Oct 10 12 08:06 am Link

Photographer

hbutz New York

Posts: 3241

Ronkonkoma, New York, US

rp_photo wrote:

Just like Obama smile

just like your reply.

Oct 11 12 03:54 am Link

Photographer

Cherrystone

Posts: 36720

Columbus, Ohio, US

rp_photo wrote:

Obama and Biden are the true jokes, but they aren't that funny.

Romney is who we seriously need.

If someone isn't cracking down at least 750k a year, and have a few million in the bank, and they vote Republican in this day and age, they really need to get themselves educated, and also seek therapy.

Oct 11 12 05:16 am Link

Photographer

TRPn Pics

Posts: 10431

Andrews, North Carolina, US

The joke has been on the American people for the last four years. Can we please return some semblance of seriousness on the issues to the WH come November. roll

Oct 11 12 05:29 am Link

Photographer

ArtisticPhotography

Posts: 7699

Buffalo, New York, US

Obama wants to win in the worst possible way ... and so far he's succeeding.

Oct 11 12 09:05 am Link

Photographer

ArtisticPhotography

Posts: 7699

Buffalo, New York, US

ernst tischler wrote:

That's a weak adaptation of an old Preist and Rabbi joke.

I knew it was, and in fact said they weren't good jokes.  But I needed something to get things started and that seems pretty topical.

Oct 11 12 09:13 am Link

Photographer

ArtisticPhotography

Posts: 7699

Buffalo, New York, US

Blue Cube Imaging wrote:
Moved to OT, lacks substance for SB.

I am soooooooo embarrassed.  It didn't even know you could anger the SB gods.

Oct 11 12 09:14 am Link

Photographer

Lovely Day Media

Posts: 4317

Vineland, New Jersey, US

Donald Trump and Mitt Romney are on a plane together.  Trump opens a window and throws a $100 bill out.  Romney asks ... why did you do that?  Trump replies ... I want to make someone happy every now and then.

  Romney says ... well, why not throw 2 $50's out and make 2 people happy?  Or 5 $20 and make 5 people happy?  Trump replies ... how about if I throw *you* out and make *everyone* happy?

Oct 11 12 09:50 am Link

Photographer

Done and Gone

Posts: 7650

Chiredzi, Masvingo, Zimbabwe

ernst tischler wrote:

ernst tischler wrote:
That's a weak adaptation of an old Preist and Rabbi joke.

...and I have proven you have nothing better to do than critique a critique of a joke in Soapbox.

That is 100 time more pathetic!!!  lol

Ahhh, but now I have proven that you have nothing better to do than to critique a critique of a critique of a joke in OFF TOPIC.

This blew the needle off the pathetic meter completely. Scientists estimate that it is over one billion times more pathetic than the original joke in Soapbox.

lol

Oct 11 12 11:21 am Link

Photographer

Michael Bots

Posts: 5986

Kingston, Ontario, Canada

Too easy


Look there
http://www.wnd.com/files/2012/10/romney-bending-over.jpg




equal opportunity -- Biden making a move
http://www.wnd.com/files/2012/10/Joe-Biden-biker.jpg

Oct 11 12 02:13 pm Link