Forums > General Industry > How to tell a photog "no" when you aren't intere..

Photographer

Blue Mini Photography

Posts: 1698

Tempe, Arizona, US

Send a polite no.  Then if he keeps trying, just block him.

Nov 14 12 06:34 am Link

Photographer

Mortonovich

Posts: 5760

San Diego, California, US

You simply make it about YOUR work and not his.
"Thank you but I'm looking for a different direction for my book at this time."

Something like that. Don't make it about how his work "wouldn't benefit my port".

Nov 14 12 06:35 am Link

Photographer

LLOYD WRIGHT

Posts: 664

Newcastle upon Tyne, England, United Kingdom

you said you like to be nice. the most rude thing to do is not respond [not very nice at all]. just say thank-you for the interest but that his style is a little too risque for you.

Nov 14 12 06:36 am Link

Photographer

Camerosity

Posts: 5360

Saint Louis, Missouri, US

How about "No, thank you."

The best and nicest thing you can do (for both of you) is to make it clear that you're not interested - the first time you respond. If you leave any doubt or any opening, it will just be the beginning, not the end of it.

Most models just don't respond. If that's not working in this case, maybe you need to be somewhat more direct. (But I'd still go with not responding in future cases. Most people get the message - the first or second time.)

No explanation is necessary - but if you feel compelled to give one, you can say that your styles don't match, or that his style isn't the direction in which you want to take your portfolio. Or that you have very limited time for trade work, and that there are more photographers that you'd really like to work with than you have time for.

Just be clear. Make sure he understands that you're not interested right off the bat. Once you've done that, ignore any future communiques - and block him if they keep coming.

If possible avoid critiquing the photographer's work. Some will take that personally.

And don't say that you're really busy for the next few months. If you do that, you'll hear from the photgrapher again - probably in about two weeks. I learned that the hard way (with models).

Oh, and one more thing... If you're gonna be in St. Louis - well, you know what to do. smile

Nov 14 12 06:46 am Link

Photographer

JR in Texas

Posts: 317

Tulia, Texas, US

A polite "No, but thank you" should suffice, though if this person is being a pest it may not work.

Stating a reason, such as "not my style" can start a debate, or even be taken as an insult. Saying "too busy" just invites them to ask when you will be free. It is safer to stick to a simple no.

Nov 14 12 07:01 am Link

Photographer

C s p i n e

Posts: 3964

Portland, Oregon, US

Polite? I'd rather have a model tell me to go fuck granny's tit than leave me hanging. If the shoot is 3 weeks away, I can't wait around 2 weeks or so to get your hint. Polite is letting the photographer know asap that he needs to keep looking.

Nov 14 12 07:31 am Link

Photographer

Sleepy Weasel

Posts: 4690

Castle Rock, Colorado, US

lol at the people WAY over-thinking this, listing multiple possible responses.

"No thank you" is the best one, as has been mentioned many times. Why make it so difficult?

Nov 14 12 07:57 am Link

Photographer

Blaneyphoto

Posts: 547

New York, New York, US

When declining a shoot offer, I simply cut and paste:

Hi,

Thank you for your inquiry, however I'm not interested in shooting.


I've yet to encounter anyone who misunderstands the message and nobody has every sent an angry reply. Simple and direct is best.

Nov 14 12 01:15 pm Link

Photographer

James Morgan aka Maddog

Posts: 102

Burlison, Tennessee, US

If all else fails.. Restraining Order.

Nov 14 12 01:24 pm Link

Photographer

BlueMoonPics

Posts: 4516

New York, New York, US

I'll throw my vote in too...

Please write back to the photographer and say "no, thank you".

I personally appreciate this much better than no answer.
There have been a couple of models that wrote back to my request to shoot with them stating they weren't interested and I wrote back that I really appreciated them doing so.  I hold these models that said "no" in much higher regard than the ones that just never write back.

Nov 14 12 01:27 pm Link

Model

KaliChaos

Posts: 294

Plymouth, England, United Kingdom

OWD LA wrote:
Be professional, and send him a polite message saying thank you, but you're not interested. By being clear and concise, you don't have to worry about anyone "taking a hint."

+1
If you tell him plainly, but politely that you're not interested you shouldn't have to worry about any more messages smile no hints just facts big_smile

Nov 14 12 01:27 pm Link

Photographer

-Mason-

Posts: 240

West Saint Paul, Minnesota, US

A polite "no thank you," is so much more appreciated than no reply at all.

Nov 14 12 01:28 pm Link

Photographer

Chuckarelei

Posts: 9715

Seattle, Washington, US

JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Just say no. You don't even have to give a reason. By not replying, you are making yourself look bad as well (in my book).

Nov 14 12 01:30 pm Link

Model

Seker Pare

Posts: 186

Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia

He might see this post - that could help you out smile

I say things such as at this point I'm involved with... etc. which is true - involved with other things. It doesn't say 'never' and it also doesn't say you might work with them if they message you more often.

Nov 14 12 01:35 pm Link

Photographer

Danny DD

Posts: 347

Antwerp, Antwerp, Belgium

'No' is just one word, you can always add a 'sorry' and some explanation, but no 2 page story needed smile

Nov 14 12 01:39 pm Link

Photographer

nyk fury

Posts: 2918

Port Townsend, Washington, US

i agree with those who say that "no reply is not good". it's going to be rejection no matter what, but it should be a polite rejection.

Nov 14 12 01:42 pm Link

Photographer

PhotosbyChuck

Posts: 2224

Glen Ellyn, Illinois, US

Valpo, eh?  I grew up in the area...

Failing to respond at all initially is unprofessional in my opinion.  With no word from you, the photographer might simply assume you're busy, his message is lost in a pile, etc.  A simple reply along the lines of not having a look you want to add to your port is fine.  Most people should read between the lines on that. 

"Hi ______, thanks for your interest in shooting with me.  After looking at your portfolio, I'm afraid I don't see a look that is in the same direction I'm trying to take my work.  I'd rather not disappoint you and suggest you seek out some of the other llamas here on MM, who better match your style.  Best wishes!"

After that, feel free to ignore anyone who gets upset...keeps bugging you about shooting, whatever.

If llamaing is to be a career, treat people well -- even if you don't want to work with them today.  You'll not regret it.

Nov 14 12 01:55 pm Link

Photographer

Herman Surkis

Posts: 9313

Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

_ Robyn Elizabeth _ wrote:

It's so hard to do that though as it's basically saying you're not good enough and from a personally point of view, I don't want my replies to discourage people.

I agree it is the right thing to do, but it's finding a way to say that without putting them down that's the hard part.

Not necessarily saying that they are not good enough, just that you are not interested.

There are models I have said no to, that are excellent models. It is simply that their look is not something that interests me. I was polite, and I hope that I can ask them, if I decide that their look is interesting in the future.

There are models that have turned me down, because what I was into at that time was not something that they were interested in. They were polite, and I was amazed when they recommended me to someone else.

Polite, but clear is good. If the other person cannot deal with it, then that is their problem.

Nov 14 12 09:34 pm Link

Photographer

ontherocks

Posts: 22972

Salem, Oregon, US

if ignoring them doesn't work you could try sending them your rates. if they get hostile then block and/or CAM them. some guys regress to elementary school maturity when women on here say no to them. sure it stings a little but they need to shake it off and move on.

Nov 14 12 09:41 pm Link

Photographer

Herman Surkis

Posts: 9313

Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

ChiMo wrote:
You simply make it about YOUR work and not his.
"Thank you but I'm looking for a different direction for my book at this time."

Something like that. Don't make it about how his work "wouldn't benefit my port".

I tend to be sensitive, and this would not ruffle my feathers.

Nov 14 12 09:42 pm Link

Photographer

Herman Surkis

Posts: 9313

Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

BlueMoonPics wrote:
I'll throw my vote in too...

Please write back to the photographer and say "no, thank you".

I personally appreciate this much better than no answer.
There have been a couple of models that wrote back to my request to shoot with them stating they weren't interested and I wrote back that I really appreciated them doing so.  I hold these models that said "no" in much higher regard than the ones that just never write back.

+1

Those that do not respond end up on my "do not shoot list".
But I shoot so little that I can get away with that.

Nov 14 12 09:46 pm Link

Photographer

Peach Jones

Posts: 6578

Champaign, Illinois, US

JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

For me, there is nothing more disrespectful than being ignored. That is why I always respond to a model, even though I may never be interested in working with them.

what I usually tell them is, "thank you for the inquiry, but not really interested in shooting right now"

Nov 14 12 09:50 pm Link

Photographer

DarrylPascoePhotography

Posts: 480

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

As others have said, just respond with a "No thank you I am not interested, but I very much appreciate the offer". smile

That's it. very simple, polite, and gets the point across. If this is a person you do not want to work with at all under any circumstances then saying things like, "I am not doing shoots right now, I am busy" etc etc leaves it open to interpret that you would be interested if not for the fact that it is bad timing.

If it is someone you would work with if they paid then saying, " Thanks very much for your offer but I am not interested in a TF collaboration, however if you like I would be happy to send you my rates" is polite and to the point.

Better to be clear and still polite then leave open for him to interpret a different way. I also believe that not responding is completely rude.

Nov 14 12 10:43 pm Link

Photographer

Ron Spackman

Posts: 210

High River, Alberta, Canada

As a photographer, I agree with all those who are saying that you simply say "no". Something to the effect of "Thank you for asking; but, no, I'm not interested." That's not offensive, it's not rude, it's just the reality.

I would not take offence at such a response. No competent professional would. It's when you try to find a way to be 'nice' that communication gets messed up. Be clear and direct. The photographer's ego is NOT your problem.

Nov 14 12 10:52 pm Link

Photographer

Justin Suyama

Posts: 113

Seattle, Washington, US

Drew Smith Photography wrote:
Be honest and polite and professional:

'Thank you for your interest but I don't believe shooting with you would produce images that would benefit my portfolio.'

I think it'd be more beneficial to both parties if this is re-worded to something like.

'Thank you for your interest however my portfolio requires a different direction right now. I appreciate the time you've taken to seek me out. Best of luck in your endeavors.'

This way you don't burn a bridge that you might need to travel one day. Just saying, what if he/she gets really good? They'll remember.

Nov 14 12 10:54 pm Link

Photographer

Innovative Imagery

Posts: 2816

Los Angeles, California, US

I agree that is is better to reply than to ignore and that a simple, "Thank you, but no thank you." is all that is necessary.  DON'T make up deadlines and schedules and other excuses.  If he asks for a reason, just say, you don't feel your styles mesh and that you want to leave it at that.  If he contacts you after that, either ask him politely to not contact you further, OR just go ahead and block him.

Don't be vague and lead him along or give him false hope, but don't disembowel him either.  smile

Nov 14 12 11:03 pm Link

Photographer

John Felici

Posts: 609

Pascoag, Rhode Island, US

just do what all the other models do..
dont respond..

works every time

Nov 14 12 11:09 pm Link

Photographer

DEP E510

Posts: 1780

Miramar, Florida, US

terrysphotocountry wrote:
No reply is a answer. I know I get no reply's from models posting for a photographer. Then I just move on. So don't worry about it!

Absolutely.

X 10,000

No answer is an answer-- and a good one.

Sending out a request to shoot does not obligate someone to respond to you.

Sending out a pm is just about testing the waters to see what happens.

Why would someone prefer a rejection pm to no response at all?

If someone reads your message and does not respond, that just means you shouldn't waste another second on them.

Nov 14 12 11:13 pm Link

Photographer

photosbydmp

Posts: 3808

Shepparton-Mooroopna, Victoria, Australia

block him and don't reply an ever so popular choice on mayhem now.

Nov 14 12 11:13 pm Link

Photographer

E H

Posts: 708

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Professionals understand the no word,,, use it,,, If they don't understand still, let the cops explain why they are at their door,,, it is that simple.

Nov 14 12 11:30 pm Link

Photographer

alessandro2009

Posts: 7786

Florence, Toscana, Italy

JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?
This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

Take a look at the reply from Nadeshiko Yamato about the same topic:
http://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?threa … st15280017

JacquelineXx wrote:
It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

But since you don't want shoot with that photographer (i assume regardless the price) you can drop the second part of the answer:
"If you would like to hire me for this shoot, my rate is XX/hour. I wish you the best of luck with your project and hopefully we can work in the future on another project."

Nov 14 12 11:35 pm Link

Photographer

coach moon

Posts: 5522

Pensacola, Florida, US

JacquelineXx wrote:

Thanks I might need it. My goal is just to be as respectful as possible and be very kind and all that good stuff. Ugh.

to be respectful would be to offer up a kind "no thank you. i'm not interested."  to avoid the issue is passive aggressive & non confrontational.

Nov 14 12 11:37 pm Link

Photographer

Brett Fish

Posts: 426

Seattle, Washington, US

JonSeneca wrote:
Say no thank you, I'm not interested.

This.

Nov 14 12 11:42 pm Link

Photographer

Drew Smith Photography

Posts: 5210

Nottingham, England, United Kingdom

Or send him a link to this thread. smile

Nov 14 12 11:47 pm Link

Photographer

Michael Fryd

Posts: 4233

Miami Beach, Florida, US

JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Being nice doesn't mean you can't disappoint someone.  You can be polite and nice and still deliver bad news.

If you don't want to work with a photographer, just tell him.  Not making your intentions crystal clear is pretty much the opposite of nice.   Hinting or not answering is not nice.


Examples of nice:

"Thank you for contacting me.  I am sorry but I don't think your style is a good match for me." (note you have said nothing bad about his style, just that it isn't what you want).


"I am sorry, but I am very picky when it comes to shooting nudes and/or implied nudes.  We have not worked together, and have not established a working relationship where I would feel comfortable doing such images with you.  At this time I will not be accepting your offer."



"Thank you for contacting me for TFP.  I have reviewed your work, and I am sorry, but I do not need the images you propose for my portfolio.  If you are interested in hiring me, my rates are ..."


If he persists:  "My decision is final."


Examples of Not nice:

"I would love to work with you but ..."  The problem here is that you have led the photographer to believe that if the specified condition is resolved that you will work for him.  You should expect the photographer to periodically contact you to see if you are now available.  Eventually you will block the photographer and you both will be upset.


Silence.  Refusing to answer is not nice.  Once the photographer receives your "no thank you" he can move on to looking for another model.  The sooner he gets his answer, the less time he spends planing on using you.

Nov 15 12 06:54 am Link

Photographer

Mark Fix

Posts: 273

Englewood, Colorado, US

OWD LA wrote:
Be professional, and send him a polite message saying thank you, but you're not interested. By being clear and concise, you don't have to worry about anyone "taking a hint."

+1.

Too many, not just on MM, have become Politically Correct to the point communication clarity has nearly become a thing of the past.  "No", or 'Not at this time", or "Not for this project" should be acceptable.

Nov 15 12 07:29 am Link

Photographer

Drew Smith Photography

Posts: 5210

Nottingham, England, United Kingdom

Suyama Images wrote:

I think it'd be more beneficial to both parties if this is re-worded to something like.

'Thank you for your interest however my portfolio requires a different direction right now. I appreciate the time you've taken to seek me out. Best of luck in your endeavors.'

This way you don't burn a bridge that you might need to travel one day. Just saying, what if he/she gets really good? They'll remember.

I like what you did there. Excellent.

But (without going back to the OP) I think the Op was saying how does she get rid of somebody that she'll never shoot with.

Nov 15 12 07:33 am Link

Photographer

TomFRohwer

Posts: 772

Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany

JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Don't make "hints" - just say no. A polite "no" is not an offense.

And by the way: if somebody percieves a polite "no" as an offense he/she is definitely not the one you want to collaborate with.

Nov 15 12 07:37 am Link

Photographer

FiveOne November

Posts: 173

Rochester, New York, US

You know what would be really cool?

If a model simply REPLIED to a request to work together.  I don't care if it's "yes, I'd love to", or "no, thank you," but never responding when I can tell my message has been read is just, well, kind of disrespectful.

-Joe

Nov 15 12 09:16 am Link

Photographer

FiveOne November

Posts: 173

Rochester, New York, US

TomFRohwer wrote:
Don't make "hints" - just say no. A polite "no" is not an offense.

And by the way: if somebody percieves a polite "no" as an offense he/she is definitely not the one you want to collaborate with.

I agree completely with this.

-Joe

Nov 15 12 09:17 am Link