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Modeling and Depression
Jojo West wrote: I can relate to this experience. I went to a group shoot years ago.. I felt like a black sheep, haha, with my beloved shitty tattoos and I had the most non-traditionally beautiful body of anyone there. All of the other models were manicured, thin with round breasts, recently dyed hair, ,etc. I am not that kind of model or person at all. We did a few hours of rotating around different sets in the studio, and that is the part that the models don't get paid for. During that part of the day, photographers could go to a computer and sign up for an hour or two private shoot with a certain model. I think I got an hour and a half in afterwards while other models stayed longer than I did. I felt pretty out of place and like I shouldn't have gone there. I'm not really a glamour model. None of those people contacted me afterwards, except one photographer sent me some photos. Dec 21 12 02:49 pm Link BlueMoonPics wrote: I'll ditto that. I'd probably almost kill to have any of Jojo's pics in my portfolio. They're beautiful. So if someone tells you to scrap them and you fall for it, just send them over here. Don't tell the photographers. lol. Dec 21 12 02:54 pm Link Although...I think feeling lonely and being physically beautiful aren't necessarily related to each other. Being lonely or having self doubt of abilities can happen to anyone even if they are in reality one of the most qualified people out there. There are lots of things that can cause stress and make one question themselves or whether they are doing something the right way or if people can appreciate them for who they are. And that's tough to get past even on a good day. Dec 21 12 03:02 pm Link Another bad day  Here's hoping I will find my inner resolve to get better. No one but me can change it. Really struggling with being physically and emotionally alone this Christmas. This is the second year I've been single for the holidays and this year my family (I live at home due to my emotional and financial issues) have left the state to visit my ill grandma. I couldn't get off work so I am by myself until Wednesday and I'm feeling a very strange mixture of miserable and happy about it. I'm miserable because I know deep down I really don't want to be alone right now and that it's bad for me. Yet I'm also happy because now I can feel my depression the way I want to. I can sleep and eat bad food and SI (daily now I'm ashamed to say) and not fight so hard against those urges. It's tiring fighting. I am a little stressed about my shoot on Monday though, it's my first shoot with HMUA and it's supposed to be lingerie. I think I'm going to have to cancel it Dec 22 12 12:58 am Link Autumn Rose Brightly wrote: Autumn.......... please dont be alone. If you KNOW you are going to do these things.. Have people around to support you or check yourself into somewhere to keep yourself safe. Working is good to keep busy, make plans so that you are not alone please. You have tons of support here, but we arent there with you. You arent giving yourself any credit at all by predicting that you wont be able to succeed through the days. This saddens me. I want to have confidence in you and do. IM alone for the holidays as well. I was born into the jewish faith, but we didnt celebrate that one, and I dropped my parents off at the airport this morning. My mother stays in florida for the winter and I will pick my father up on the 2nd. I am moving BACK home at 32 for a while. Dec 22 12 01:53 am Link I am nowhere near my worst which gives me some comfort  Even though I have SIed for the last two days I haven't done it as much as I 'want' to.Dec 22 12 02:00 am Link Don't cancel your shoot. It it were me you were shooting with, I'd just be happy to see you and be happy to have the chance to do more photography. I would suspect your photographer feels the same way. It's just fun making photos no matter who it is. Photoshop can EASILY fix up anything or I'm just weird enough I might pull out my closeup lenses. Either way...go do it. Dec 22 12 07:35 am Link For me a creative outlet helps manage stress from other parts of my life. However I know a number of NYC aspiring actor/models who had self esteem issues before entering the profession. Some people look towards acting or modeling as a way of getting the validation they desire. Unfortunately both businesses involve more rejection than validation. Also even the most gorgeous super-models of all time have every millimeter of their face and body scrutinized and photoshopped by very critical art directors. Eating disorders are very common in both professions.In fact many of the most famous supermodels will talk about how insecure and neurotic the business has made them at times. Photographer Timothy Greenfield Sanders made an interesting documentary interviewing and shooting some of the most iconic models of all time who have aged. What's shocking is that most of these women were more vulnerable to the pressures and rejection in modeling in their 20's at the height of their fame and success rather than after they retired and aged. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/26/fashi … d=all&_r=0 I think it is wonderful that many models find the work fun and it builds confidence. Still I would be very concerned if someone with clinical depression or self esteem issues looked at modeling as the primary way to deal with their emotional health. People who are frequently depressed or want validation should also see a qualified professional. If they have clinical depression, are bipolar or have any other mood disorder that benefits from anti-depressents, they should explore that option as well. If someone doesn't get professional help, the frequent rejection and criticism of even the best faces and bodies may make someone's depression worse in the long run. Emotional and mental health is no different than that of your physical body. Dec 22 12 07:58 am Link Sand Angel Photography wrote: Just to clarify...I was thinking the other day it would be interesting to do a series of photos on those little things that make people unique. I'm sure it has been done a million times but there is a local photographer whose work I greatly admire who has done very good photos of people's body modifications, unique tattoos, "imperfections", etc. So if you showed up with a few scars, while I realize it is a very very intimate thing, I might just ask if I could document that part of you that makes you special. Maybe someday when I'm looking for some new people, I'll put out a call for that. And if anyone asked me now, I doubt I would turn it down. Dec 22 12 08:07 am Link I didn't cancel my shoot. I just told the photographer I had some marks that would be needing photoshopping. He appreciated the heads-up and still wanted to go forward with it Dec 22 12 11:44 pm Link Yay! I'm always fixing small stuff in Photoshop anyway. I did an informal just for fun Christmas shoot with a model friend and her sister yesterday and they both had a couple of pimples that needed a little hiding. It literally takes just a minute to quickly hide those. But I would much rather have had the chance to do that than not shoot at all. And its just fun hanging out with friends and trying to make them look nice. Dec 23 12 06:58 am Link I've been wanting to try this lighting out. The second one I wouldn't have gotten if she had skipped and I love how the silhouette turned out. And I love the first one too. FYI, these are pretty much straight out of the camera minus the pimple fixes so stray hairs everywhere. lol. http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4229816749893 http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4229816229880 Dec 23 12 07:07 am Link Sand Angel Photography wrote: I like the second one Dec 23 12 08:59 pm Link Thanks. I shot the Venus Transit at this location last year and have always wanted to stick someone on the bridge with the sunset. Finally got my chance. Dec 23 12 09:04 pm Link Today was slightly better I'm looking forward to my shoot tomorrow. "The scars we wear remind us the more we change the more we're all the same" Dec 23 12 09:29 pm Link Autumn Rose Brightly wrote: I think if you go though with it you will feel better about yourself. Depression tends to be rather greedy - it wants to have all of you - so getting out there is a good deterrent. Little marks can be easily cloned out in photoshop. Dec 23 12 10:41 pm Link LittleWhiteRabbit Photo wrote: It'll be nice to be out of bed, I've slept about 17hrs each the last two nights Dec 23 12 10:45 pm Link Dec 23 12 10:48 pm Link LittleWhiteRabbit Photo wrote: Heres to hoping that this holiday season is better for you. Even if you are going to be alone, treat yourself right. Try and do things that make YOU smile. Sorry last Christmas was a painful one. IM sending you an air hug. Did you feel it? Yeah? no? If not, Im sending it again!!!!! Merry Chriistmas to you. Dec 23 12 10:53 pm Link and Happy Holidays to everyone here. one day at a time, Dec 23 12 10:54 pm Link Did a maternity shoot today. The mother told me today that she thinks her face looks "creepy." She's beautiful but she is self-conscious of how she looks since she is about to have her baby in a few weeks. No stretch marks and on her second kid. I very much enjoyed getting to take her pictures. http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid= … 8077100127 Anyway...have a good happy couple days everyone. Dec 23 12 11:49 pm Link Autumn Rose Brightly wrote:
Dec 23 12 11:58 pm Link Sand Angel Photography wrote: Tell her she is beautiful and glowing Dec 23 12 11:59 pm Link Glad I didn't cancel the shoot but it ended early due to massive amounts of ridiculously stressful family drama. Tonight's gonna be a hard one. Will fill in more later Dec 24 12 04:59 pm Link Gabrielle Heather wrote: Thank you so much Dec 24 12 08:27 pm Link Not a happy Christmas for me at all. Lost my Grandma an hour ago after two weeks of being in the hospital. My family is there in Missouri and I'm here in Charlotte. I am feeling very alone. I hope you all have a better Christmas and remember to hold your loved ones tight. You never know when distance or death will pull them away. Dec 25 12 12:17 pm Link Autumn Rose Brightly wrote: sorry about your loss. Are you going to join your family? Dec 25 12 02:51 pm Link Gabrielle Heather wrote: I can't. I have to work plus my 13y/o sister is here. I'm staying to help her process it. She has Aspergers and has difficulty sometimes with relaying her thoughts/feelings without resorting to anger and rage. Dec 25 12 03:21 pm Link Autumn Rose - I posted earlier. These postings are obviously about much more than modelling. You might be having some sort of crisis on your own at the minute. I suggest that the support offered here on the mm forum, from others like-minded to yourself, is very real. Continue to post over the next few days so we know how you are and can offer some feedback. Crises happen in everyone's life and they need help, and Christmas itself can be a particularly painful time. Don't feel that the concern demonstrated for you here in not utterly sincere, and don't slip away from the forum without letting us know how you are. Best - Mike Dec 25 12 03:23 pm Link mike connor wrote: Thank you, I certainly will try. I do know one of my weaknesses in chaos is to isolate myself. I know this is a bad coping mechanism and doesn't get me anywhere. As much as I just want to crawl in bed and disappear for days I won't, I can't. Dec 25 12 03:31 pm Link Autumn Rose Brightly wrote: do you have someone to help the BOTH of you process and cope? Is your family fully aware of the state you have been in? Dec 25 12 03:57 pm Link Isolating yourself - that's not really a weakness. It's what depressed people do. It's the condition - and then another part of the condition is to beat yourself up about it. Another part is to sleep alot (and probably then to beat yourself up about that too). Or drink alcohol (and beat yourself up). Or eat chocolate bars (and beat yourself up). Etc. If you are really down, doing little things, like going to the shop for a paper, can help disproportionately - although are disproportionately hard. I know it's Christmas and the shops are not open until tomorrow (here, anyway). Even eating properly when you are on your own can raise your morale. You'll likely know yourself what helps for you. Not easy though - definitely not easy. One thing is for sure - it will soon no longer be Christmas, and that time of trial for so very many people will be over. By the way, I could talk more about your portfolio, where this started, or about your reaction to my first post, but I'm going to leave that for a few days until things have stabilized for you. Keep going - keep checking in -and soon (and I don't mean this in any way flippantly during this bad time for you) keep modelling. Mike Dec 25 12 03:58 pm Link Gabrielle Heather wrote: Semi-aware. They know I've been struggling. She and I did a double-feature today. We saw "Hotel Transylvania 3D" and "Wreck-It Ralph" that helped a little. Getting out of the house was nice. Dec 25 12 04:00 pm Link Really sorry to hear about your Grandma. It's tough. Do you do any photography yourself? I tend to find that it helps me out when I'm in a tough spot. Getting out by myself and just looking for something to shoot (usually landscapes, mountains, rocks, bugs, flowers, clouds, etc) is a good way to pass some time. You don't even need an expensive pile of camera equipment. I've gotten some really nice shots out of my $80 Nikon Coolpix while hiking a few miles up a steep mountain trail (light weight is good). I mean modeling is cool and you definitely should never quit doing that but taking the pictures is really fun too. And you can take your own pictures that way and avoid the hassle. Hang in there and don't disappear on us. Dec 25 12 04:08 pm Link Sand Angel Photography wrote: I've considered it. I think that may be my Christmas present to myself this year Dec 25 12 04:10 pm Link Yongnuo and Cowboy Studio (look on eBay or amazon.com) make some pretty cool camera accessories that are inexpensive. Some of the cheap manual speed lights have optical triggers and you don't even need an expensive camera to use them. You'll turn out some pretty sweet pics. It's a great way to express yourself. You can channel what you feel right into the photos you take based on how you light them or look for light (or lack thereof) that feels right to you at the time. Dec 25 12 04:20 pm Link Sand Angel Photography wrote: I'm looking at which one to start with. Any ideas? Dec 25 12 04:49 pm Link Honestly, it depends on your budget. I'd start with the number you want to spend and work backward from there. If you are just starting out and want to keep it simple, some of the Canon or Nikon fixed lens cameras are a lot of fun and more portable. Can't really go wrong with any Nikon Coolpix in the $80-$300 range. The Nikon AW100 looks interesting. Supposed to be waterproof which would make those really cool underwater pool shots I've always wanted to do but don't dare with my DSLR. lol. Runs about $275 on amazon. Small and portable is good for something you won't cry over if you drop it. You can find a relatively cheap DSLR that is a few model numbers older than the new stuff that will serve you well. You can get a Canon 30D or 40D in the $350-$500 range off eBay. Then you can add on the extra flashes and stuff as your budget allows. If you have a larger budget, move up in quality from there. EDIT: I have this kind of camera (Canon 30D)...good camera and very flexible to add nicer stuff on...and equivalent Nikon cameras are also worth having. http://www.ebay.com/itm/Canon-EOS-30D-D … 19d79f9284 Dec 25 12 05:51 pm Link Some of the best pics I've seen have been taken by models of themselves. I echo Sand Angel in endorsing the Nikon Coolpix range - great cameras with a fixed lens and excellent images. Dec 26 12 12:55 am Link Weeeell I thought I got through the holidays w/minimal drama and ended up wrecking my car today Autumn Rose Brightly wrote: So sorry to hear about your Grandma - these things are especially awful when they happen on a holiday...Just when it seems like it can't get any worse this crap just comes out of no where - hugs to you... Dec 26 12 12:51 pm Link |
