Forums > Critique > What does your profile text tell me about you?

Model

NicoleNudes

Posts: 3963

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Paige Morgan wrote:

You are actually. crisp, clean and to the point, without sounding like a diva or an ass.

WIN!

borat

Jan 30 13 07:21 am Link

Photographer

Shy L

Posts: 584

Burlington, Vermont, US

I'd love to know what you think of my text smile

Jan 30 13 07:39 am Link

Photographer

Bek Ruszin

Posts: 6023

Levittown, Pennsylvania, US

Paige Morgan wrote:

Oh my darling booty twin......I knew you wouldn't disappoint me!


You also are made of WIN! No filler, nice and clear while still seeming friendly smile

Thank you and big_smile + borat

Jan 30 13 08:55 am Link

Model

Cynthia Serrano

Posts: 12650

Newark, New Jersey, US

Paige Morgan wrote:

TOO many images between your profile and your credits. You actually have a good bit of relevant experience and a sizable reference list that's getting buried under contest badges and the like.

What genres are you looking to shoot when active? That should be closer to the top.

What do you consider viable TF?

If your hair color/style changes often, why not post a quick snap of your current look?

Thanks I will fix it up smile

Jan 30 13 10:57 am Link

Photographer

DougBPhoto

Posts: 39060

Portland, Oregon, US

If you would be so kind as to take another look.

It still seems lacking to me.

Jan 30 13 11:02 am Link

Model

DonnaLee

Posts: 7

Paducah, Kentucky, US

I'm up for some criticism smile let me know something please

Jan 30 13 11:10 am Link

Model

Vasara

Posts: 526

Alexandria, Virginia, US

Oh! Great thread!
I'd love to have your critique if you are still doing this.

Jan 30 13 01:27 pm Link

Model

Zoe Pinheiro

Posts: 90

Los Angeles, California, US

I would love to know what you think

smile

Jan 30 13 01:58 pm Link

Model

Madison P Cook

Posts: 136

Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada

Thoughts? smile

Jan 30 13 07:05 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

Ryan McNab Photography wrote:
I'm game

Had to scroll through big images and scan through that first very nonspecific paragraph before I got to any of the meaty details......who you want to shoot with your shoot policies etc. Your rates are nowhere to be found. Not even an "ask me about my rates"


I shouldn't have to dig for how to book you, especially if you are seeking paid jobs.

Jan 30 13 09:10 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

Harbor Images wrote:
I'm game!

Other than a few odd capitalization/punctuation typos(which annoyed my inner proofreader), you keep it clean and fairly simple, which is positive for a newer photographer finding their feet.

Jan 30 13 09:12 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

I Ference Photography wrote:
I'm curious.

Pass go, collect $200. Tells me what I need to know in a bullshit and annoyance free manner.

Jan 30 13 09:13 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

BCADULTART wrote:
While what I have on MM is not the photography I am known for.  I Love to see your thougths on what I have posted on MM

Best,

Chuck

Hello Chuck!

Given that the BCADULTART project has little to do with your photojournalism work, why not list the credits for this specific project in the credits box? Gallery exhibitions, notable commissions, whatever.

It isn't really relevant what your "main" credits are when you are shooting non mainstream stuff for personal artistic purposes, particularly since the face that you are a long time working mainstream shooter is already covered in your bio.

Jan 30 13 09:18 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

HarryL wrote:

Thank you Paige, your advice did help greatly.

Big hug

Harry

Happy to help!

Jan 30 13 09:18 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

Demeter Photography wrote:
Would love any feedback.  I think mine is in need of more.....

Personality wise, you come off as fun and pleasant to be around. However, don't get so distracted by being funny that you leave out the important bits.

What sort of stuff are you looking to shoot?

What kind of models do you prefer to shoot?

At what types of compensation?

Jan 30 13 09:21 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

Reign Aiden LeClair  wrote:
Sure

Okay...you are not shooting nudes at the moment......but what are you currently willing to shoot/be booked for?

You charge $100 an hour, 2 hour minimum......for what content?

Jan 30 13 09:23 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

JohnsPhotos wrote:
I'll play, been wanting to do a re-write...

Way too many nonspecifics. If you are going to be that wordy, make that shit count (Diva Eroticus and R. Michael Walker both did a good job of this, and I said so when they posted earlier in the thread....check out their bios to see what I mean)

After reading all of it, I'm also not really sure who/what you shoot....other than NOT nudes.

Jan 30 13 09:26 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

Anneliese Yang wrote:
I'd love to know it would good to edit things a bit.

Here's my edit:

I am a freelance model looking to shoot fashion, commercial and lifestyle. My style can varies from artistic to fashion, commercial and lifestyle. I love to shoot both in studio or outdoors.

I do travel throughout the Bay Area, but for trips to San Francisco or further I may require a small compensation for gas.


Message me if you would like to collaborate I am always thrilled to work with new talents.


When you message me, please be  specific on details and shoot expectations. As a model I wish to give you my best in delivering a successful shoot.I'm a nice gal who loves to smile and laugh, and you will enjoy shooting with me.


I do travel around the bay area but trips to SF depending on the project I may require compensation for my gas. Lastly  Thank you for stopping by and not all of my work is posted on MM, so feel free to send me a friend request on FB!l



-I am open for PAID & TRADE work.
TF is only available for publication/tear sheets or concepts that can benefit my port.
-NO NUDES, IMPLIED, OR LINGERIE
Although I do admire these concepts it's just not for me as of right now thank you for understanding.

Jan 30 13 09:34 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

MKPhoto wrote:
What do you think?

Stan Lee says you win the (no) prize! Nice and clear, no issues to be had. smile

Jan 30 13 09:38 pm Link

Model

Robbie Joseph

Posts: 25

STATEN ISLAND, New York, US

Let me know! smile

Jan 30 13 09:39 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

AirHarp Art wrote:
I would like to know As well

I have no idea what you consider art (everyone's opinions and taste vary)so be more specific about the stuff you want to shoot/the direction you want your art to head.

Jan 30 13 09:44 pm Link

Model

Dave Lucaj

Posts: 35

Yonkers, New York, US

I would like to know.

Jan 30 13 09:45 pm Link

Model

Autumn Rose Brightly

Posts: 1097

Crowley, Texas, US

I'll play

Jan 30 13 09:49 pm Link

Model

Bronte Ann

Posts: 23

Detroit, Michigan, US

Let me know! I know mine could use some work

Jan 31 13 12:07 am Link

Photographer

Billh

Posts: 361

Raleigh, North Carolina, US

Paige Morgan wrote:

Your base text doesn't tell me your primary genres of interest or if you get paid, trade or hire models.....or some combination of all of the above.

It should.

Thanks, I'll try to remedy that.

Jan 31 13 05:16 am Link

Photographer

Lou DiGesare

Posts: 156

Scotia, New York, US

What do you think???   Thanks!!

Jan 31 13 05:21 am Link

Model

GenesisAn

Posts: 109

Milpitas, California, US

Paige Morgan wrote:

Here's my edit:

I am a freelance model looking to shoot fashion, commercial and lifestyle. My style can varies from artistic to fashion, commercial and lifestyle. I love to shoot both in studio or outdoors.

I do travel throughout the Bay Area, but for trips to San Francisco or further I may require a small compensation for gas.


Message me if you would like to collaborate I am always thrilled to work with new talents.

When you message me, please be  specific on details and shoot expectations. As a model I wish to give you my best in delivering a successful shoot.I'm a nice gal who loves to smile and laugh, and you will enjoy shooting with me.


I do travel around the bay area but trips to SF depending on the project I may require compensation for my gas. Lastly  Thank you for stopping by and not all of my work is posted on MM, so feel free to send me a friend request on FB!l



-I am open for PAID & TRADE work.
TF is only available for publication/tear sheets or concepts that can benefit my port.
-NO NUDES, IMPLIED, OR LINGERIE
Although I do admire these concepts it's just not for me as of right now thank you for understanding.

THXS a bunch love smile love ur new photos btw sorry for spamming to much love hahaha

Jan 31 13 05:35 am Link

Model

Jojo West

Posts: 972

Washington, District of Columbia, US

Paige Morgan wrote:

Big ass images should be at the bottom, IMHO. The smaller social media buttons are unobtrusive, so that's no worry.

The moving "welcome to my page" banner slows load time and adds no value.


It seems you shoot more than nudes, implieds and fetish, so listing the other genres you shoot/display in your port might help....never hurts to give folks more options to book you for.

IIRC, you have a driver/escort so you might want to clarify that point for the folks who have a stance on either side of the issue.

Also I'd reword this section a bit for clarity, as the way it's written is somewhat confusing:

If you're interested in shooting nudes, implied nudes or fetish, my rates are very reasonable, I don't do TF nude work unless it is agreed upon at some point or I respond to your casting call. You can also make me an offer and we can go from there. Willing to do TF work if it will benefit my portfolio. TF work with full team will take priority.


Perhaps this instead?

"Reasonable rates for nudes, implieds and fetish. Make me an offer and we can go from there. Open to select beneficial TF, with full teams taking priority.

In the specific case of nudes, I'll do TF nude work if we've previously agreed upon it, or if I answer your casting call for a TF nude project"

Thanks hun. I got rid of my "driver" section. Too many people don't bother reading it and assume he's an escort.

Jan 31 13 07:04 am Link

Photographer

I Ference Photography

Posts: 1157

Rochester, New York, US

Paige Morgan wrote:

Pass go, collect $200. Tells me what I need to know in a bullshit and annoyance free manner.

Glad to hear it, as it's sometimes difficult to judge one's own presentation.  Thanks for taking the time!

Jan 31 13 08:02 am Link

Makeup Artist

Valerie Walls

Posts: 17

Saint Louis, Missouri, US

Paige Morgan wrote:
You have good work, but based solely on your profile text, I'd skip you. It's hard to read, full of fragments, run ons, and a complete lack of paragraphs. Just all the way around a pain in the ass to find the relevant details in.

Try this:

I am a passionate well educated hair stylist/make-up artist. ~Sentence mentioning any specific schools/training/certifications you many have~. I am a licensed cosmetologist in both Missouri and Illinois, and currently manage ~name of salon~ in Collinsville.

I can create everything from vintage styles to current trends, and am on MM to find projects to enhance my creativity, and further my career as a freelancer.

I'm skilled in airbrush application, which often reduces the retouching needed, and don't mind pitching in to help with whatever the production requires. From coffee runs to holding reflectors, I'm a big believer in using teamwork to make each shoot run as smoothly as possible.

If requesting TFP, please be advised I prefer to do both make up and hair, so the resulting image will be of maximum benefit to my portfolio.

Thank you for the help writing is not my strongest ability

Feb 01 13 08:58 am Link

Model

Jane Kavanaugh

Posts: 366

Denver, Colorado, US

Oh! Me? smile

Feb 01 13 12:49 pm Link

Model

Ceci L

Posts: 235

Villena, Valencia, Spain

Can tell me?? smile

Feb 01 13 05:21 pm Link

Photographer

BCADULTART

Posts: 2013

Boston, Massachusetts, US

Pretty much what you need to know, before we talk, if we talk.

Chuck

Feb 01 13 05:27 pm Link

Model

Heaven Leigh D

Posts: 15

Saline, Louisiana, US

Paige Morgan wrote:

Here you go:

Hello! My name is Heaven and I'm a young model hoping to use this site to gain some experience and expand my portfolio.~insert list of genres you are looking to shoot, as that isn't clear~ I am generally very friendly and fun to work with. I'm not shy and I'm a little crazy...I'm not afraid of doing something absolutely stupid to get a great picture out of it.

I do not shoot nudes swimwear or lingerie.I also tend to change my hair often and drastically. So if you'd like a current picture, message me and I'll get one to you.

If you like my look and would like to work with me, or even if you just want to throw around some ideas, feel free to message me! (: Thanks!

I'm totally cool with modeling swimwear, just modest swimwear. But thanks for your time and advice (:

Feb 01 13 05:45 pm Link

Model

Raven-Lily

Posts: 77

Eastbourne, England, United Kingdom

give mine  a go, thanks

Feb 01 13 05:51 pm Link

Photographer

Michael McGraw

Posts: 23

Beaumont, California, US

I would love the feedback.

Feb 01 13 06:02 pm Link

Photographer

Thomas Sellberg

Posts: 140

Bloomington, Illinois, US

Paige Morgan wrote:

Too much biography, and it isn't really relevant

Here you go:
I've spend years shooting landscapes and nature,as I am an avid outdoors men (hiking, fishing, camping, etc. )

My goal is to learn to work with people better as there isn't much to direct with landscapes, and one is at the mercy of Mother Nature. Advice/criticism is welcome, as are any shoot ideas you may have.

Noted, and changed. Thank you very much. I guess I came from the school of more is better... but I like you version better.

Feb 02 13 10:00 pm Link

Model

Crystal Rose Modeling

Posts: 439

Roseville, California, US

Let me know what you think

Feb 02 13 10:48 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

Kitty Devereux wrote:
I'm interested!

You need to be more specific about what genres you shoot, and the experience you have.

The details about your extra skills and body mods are useful.

For the love of gin and all else holy, don't direct people to Facebook as the primary means of contact.

Hard to believe but not everyone has one big_smile

Feb 04 13 08:33 pm Link

Model

Paige Morgan

Posts: 4058

New York, New York, US

Maggie Xia wrote:
yes yes help pls!

smile

I read through all of it having no clue what genres you shoot, what projects you'll TF for, nor what your rates are.


Additionally, lots of NO I won't shoot, but no YES I will shoot....limits aren't a problem, but leaving a reader with little clue what you do shoot is.

Feb 04 13 08:36 pm Link