Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > SF2: Ess Effin Two > Superman vs Jesus in a fight.

Photographer

John Photography

Posts: 13113

Adelaide, South Australia, Australia

If both existed as they are portrayed currently and both were in a fight. Who'd win?

Jan 26 13 05:19 am Link

Photographer

Lawrence Guy

Posts: 17683

Spring Valley, California, US

Superman would win the battle but Jesus would win the war.

Jan 26 13 05:38 am Link

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Model

Anna Adrielle

Posts: 18763

Antwerp, Antwerp, Belgium

if they both existed as currently portrayed, there would be no fight

Jan 26 13 05:45 am Link

Photographer

RINALDI

Posts: 2557

Eindhoven, Noord-Brabant, Netherlands

Superman would rip off Jesus' angel wings, Jesus would rip off Superman's powers. You will hear this voice from the sky: "FATALITY MOVE!!!"

Jan 26 13 06:47 am Link

Model

Acanthus Tattoos

Posts: 429

Union, New Jersey, US

Jesus, if he remembered to bring along the kryptonite

Jan 26 13 06:51 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11634

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Jesus would not get into a fight. Nor would Superman. Instead they would find that the ties that unite them are far stronger than any trivial matter they might disagree on. So, they would break bread, drink wine and become friends.

Jan 26 13 06:59 am Link

Photographer

Farenell Photography

Posts: 18176

Albany, New York, US

Tim Little Photography wrote:
Jesus would not get into a fight.

I'm not so sure. It depends on what Superman was doing & if it pissed him off enough. wink

The only known case where he showed a glimmer of violence was when he overturned the tables of the moneychangers in the temple (Mark 11:15). According to John 2:15, he made a chord into a whip & used that to get them out.

Jan 26 13 07:12 am Link

Photographer

Al Abbazia

Posts: 3210

Orlando, Florida, US

Superman. Especially if you gave him some Red Kryptonite to make him temporarily evil smile  Heat vision for the win.

Jan 26 13 07:14 am Link

Photographer

Aaron Lewis Photography

Posts: 5083

Catskill, New York, US

Lawrence Guy wrote:
Superman would win the battle but Jesus would win the war.

I think this is pretty accurate

Jan 26 13 07:19 am Link

Photographer

R A V E N D R I V E

Posts: 15867

New York, New York, US

Jesus would clearly be the boss battle.

Superman would have to maneuver through all of the hail and brimstone that jesus was creating for the fight, and then deliver some one-two punches until Jesus' life bar got lower.

And as the boss fight, jesus would have 3 lifebars over top of each other. So even though Superman was taking parts of the green life bar off, there would be another yellow one under that, before a red one.

Jan 26 13 07:38 am Link

Photographer

SPRINGHEEL

Posts: 38195

Gibraltar, Michigan, US

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/60/196023475_3e0e45ebcd.jpg

Jan 26 13 07:46 am Link

Photographer

SPRINGHEEL

Posts: 38195

Gibraltar, Michigan, US

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRywvBiQIq1U3kHhcmilctmihH1otRXeuar3YSttxxLetPwztrgQQ

Jan 26 13 07:49 am Link

Photographer

Paolo Diavolo

Posts: 8843

Martinez, California, US

Anna Adrielle wrote:
if they both existed as currently portrayed, there would be no fight

LOL! this ^
its funny cause its true.

Jan 26 13 07:53 am Link

Photographer

Paolo Diavolo

Posts: 8843

Martinez, California, US

Lawrence Guy wrote:
Superman would win the battle but Jesus would win the war.

make love not war.

http://bbsimg.ngfiles.com/1/21814000/ngbbs4c97ca8820091.jpg

they could have a super demigod offspring.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--xumkvKLU8Y/UPb-pVV9O0I/AAAAAAAAAJI/Vldso3lUKI0/s1600/superman-jesus-christ,-worth1000.jpg

Jan 26 13 07:56 am Link

Photographer

Tim Little Photography

Posts: 11634

Wilmington, Delaware, US

Farenell Photography wrote:

I'm not so sure. It depends on what Superman was doing & if it pissed him off enough. wink

The only known case where he showed a glimmer of violence was when he overturned the tables of the moneychangers in the temple (Mark 11:15). According to John 2:15, he made a chord into a whip & used that to get them out.

Yea, but even filled with righteous rage against the unholy, Jesus restrained his temper. And Superman, as written, would hardly be a money changer.

Jan 26 13 09:07 am Link

Photographer

California Girls Skate

Posts: 343

Los Angeles, California, US

Boy, you don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy. There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.
http://www.best-cultmovies.com/images/stand_by_me_teddy_and_vern.jpg

Jan 26 13 09:37 am Link

Photographer

Paolo Diavolo

Posts: 8843

Martinez, California, US

California Girls Skate wrote:
Boy, you don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy. There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.

^ HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
awesome.

Jan 26 13 10:12 am Link

Photographer

Tom Linkens

Posts: 6420

Lititz, Pennsylvania, US

AdelaideJohn1967 wrote:
If both existed as they are portrayed currently and both were in a fight. Who'd win?

There's that unwritten rule that Superman wins every time. While Jesus went easy on the Romans, and didn't call for backup either.

Jan 26 13 10:15 am Link

Model

NicoleNudes

Posts: 3955

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

This entire thread is just lol

Jan 26 13 10:15 am Link

Photographer

SPRINGHEEL

Posts: 38195

Gibraltar, Michigan, US

http://devilintheflesh.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/63684.jpg?w=610

Jan 26 13 10:18 am Link

Photographer

SPRINGHEEL

Posts: 38195

Gibraltar, Michigan, US

http://nthmind.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/marissagarner1.jpg?w=490

Jan 26 13 10:21 am Link

Photographer

SPRINGHEEL

Posts: 38195

Gibraltar, Michigan, US

http://demotivate.me/mediafiles/full/4162010103910AM_inspirational-posters-superheroes-19.jpg

Jan 26 13 10:22 am Link

Photographer

SPRINGHEEL

Posts: 38195

Gibraltar, Michigan, US

http://chzbromania.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/guidos-bros-douchebags-fratboys-even-superheroes-have-a-bro-in-jesus.jpg

Jan 26 13 10:22 am Link

Photographer

SPRINGHEEL

Posts: 38195

Gibraltar, Michigan, US

http://slog.thestranger.com/files/2008/08/HulkLikeLittleBoys.jpg

Jan 26 13 10:25 am Link

Photographer

D A N T I E

Posts: 246

San Antonio, Texas, US

superman would win, but Jesus would forgive him lol

Jan 26 13 10:38 am Link

Photographer

RBM Photo

Posts: 557

Bellbrook, Ohio, US

Bizzaro Jesus would whip them both.

Jan 26 13 11:32 am Link

Photographer

Garry k

Posts: 27359

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Jesus would die for Supermans sins

Jan 26 13 01:04 pm Link

Photographer

kickfight

Posts: 28032

Portland, Oregon, US

Sword-mouth Jesus from Revelation.

http://www.overview.orconhosting.net.nz/05a_Jesus.jpg

Jan 26 13 02:28 pm Link

Body Painter

Monad Studios

Posts: 9830

Santa Rosa, California, US

Obviously Jesus would let Superman win.

Jan 26 13 02:32 pm Link

Photographer

Eros Fine Art Photo

Posts: 2601

Torrance, California, US

I think Jesus would initially lose and die, after Superman nailed him to a cross and used his laser vision to pierce a hole in his side.  Of course, Jesus would come back to life after 3 days and seek revenge on Superman, and all the Roman guards who tortured him, with a high-powered nail gun.  He'd also incinerate them with tongues of fire that would burn them from the head down.  Then, if he got weak, he'd find either fish or loaves of bread for power ups.

Wait...this is starting to sound more like a video game than a comic book.

Jan 26 13 05:17 pm Link

Body Painter

Monad Studios

Posts: 9830

Santa Rosa, California, US

Eros Fine Art Photo wrote:
I think Jesus would initially lose and die, after Superman nailed him to a cross and used his laser vision to pierce a hole in his side.  Of course, Jesus would come back to life after 3 days and seek revenge on Superman, and all the Roman guards who tortured him, with a high-powered nail gun.  He'd also incinerate them with tongues of fire that would burn them from the head down.  Then, if he got weak, he'd find either fish or loaves of bread for power ups.

Wait...this is starting to sound more like a video game than a comic book.

Superman XXI:  Apocalypse

Jan 26 13 05:25 pm Link

Photographer

MF productions

Posts: 2020

San Jose, California, US

They would tag team Buddha and Muhammad.

Jan 26 13 05:27 pm Link

Photographer

EdwardKristopher

Posts: 3377

Tempe, Arizona, US

Anna Adrielle wrote:
if they both existed as currently portrayed, there would be no fight

+1

Absolutely Spot On Anna!  :-)

Jan 26 13 06:31 pm Link

Photographer

Digital Photo PLUS

Posts: 5503

Lorton, Virginia, US

The fight would be boring. Jesus would just keep turning the other cheek and Superman would keep slapping him yelling: come on bitch, hit me.

Jan 27 13 04:41 am Link

Photographer

SPRINGHEEL

Posts: 38195

Gibraltar, Michigan, US

kickfight wrote:
Sword-mouth Jesus from Revelation.

http://www.overview.orconhosting.net.nz/05a_Jesus.jpg

Funny how most people forget him and go on and on about the supposed Hippie Jesus

Jan 27 13 05:17 am Link

Model

Jules NYC

Posts: 16372

New York, New York, US

SPRINGHEEL  wrote:
http://nthmind.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/marissagarner1.jpg?w=490

lol

Jan 27 13 09:45 am Link

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Photographer

Justin

Posts: 21977

Fort Collins, Colorado, US

Superman is vulnerable to kryptonite, red sun radiation, and magic.

Jesus does magic.

C'mon, people, think.

Jan 27 13 09:52 am Link

Model

Santa Claus

Posts: 261

Seattle, Washington, US

C'mon guys, get real!

Jan 27 13 10:56 am Link

Photographer

csjacksonphotography

Posts: 10469

Chicago, Illinois, US

Winner fights Rao!

Jan 27 13 12:03 pm Link

Photographer

r T p

Posts: 3093

Los Angeles, California, US


j
eesus would not raise his hand at a man wearing glasses

and
supeerman would not strike a dude wearing a dress

Jan 27 13 12:30 pm Link