vbabe wrote:
Great points. My mom was saying she knew friends in those extraordinary circumstances, so I can understand her somewhat skewed view of modeling. I told her I know how to keep myself safe (checking references, meeting before a shoot to chat etc) and those sort of incidents are a very small minority of cases.

Jojo West wrote:
Overall though, I do it because I enjoy it. Do I care what anyone else thinks? Nope. My husband's opinion is very important, it's a respect thing, so as long as he's ok with it, I'm golden.

twoharts wrote:
nice to see someone who actually cares what their partner thinks. otherwise it's just housemates with benefits.

I've posted about that in other threads. I wasn't modeling when my husband and I started dating. I asked how he felt about me doing it, and doing fetish or nudes (I plan on adding the fetish soon) and he was ok with it. If he had not been I would of asked what he was ok with and gone with that, no skin off my back. Had I been modeling before we were dating? Different story. Do I plan to model forever? No. Do I want to stay married to my husband until we're both gray? Yes...you have to look at the bigger picture and what's more important in your life. My marriage comes first.

vbabe wrote:
I'm not going to stop modeling because of what friends/family think but who also gets the annoying questions? Some of them ask my other relatives things like "Why does she do modeling? Isn't that unsafe? What happens with the photos?" Anyone else get similar eyebrows up responses about their modeling? When I say I do modeling as a hobby, they think it's because I like pictures of myself. Modeling isn't that different from other hobbies. People can enjoy the art of modeling, not necessarily because they like photos of themselves...seems silly.

Half my family literally thinks I am a porn star. Literally. Even though I don't do anything blatantly sexual, I don't do open leg shots, etc. I have been called a pornographer to my face, on phone calls, and in emails.

The other half either neither knows or cares about the extent of my shoots. They just know I do it and I'm usually not wearing much and they don't want to know the rest.

Friends are mildly interested and ask me questions about "weird" people I've come in contact with or they want to see my pictures and ask what the photographers do with them. In the cases when something cool was done I'll go into that but usually I tell them they are just for portfolio building. I make it sound boring so they leave me alone about it.

Its hard to have a good bitch to friends who don't model because they are like, "I wish someone wanted to take pics of me!" and don't care about the rest of what I'm saying.



A photographer once told me that he had 1 or 2 friends stop hanging out with him because he wouldn't give them models' phone numbers.

Jojo West wrote:

I've posted about that in other threads. I wasn't modeling when my husband and I started dating. I asked how he felt about me doing it, and doing fetish or nudes (I plan on adding the fetish soon) and he was ok with it. If he had not been I would of asked what he was ok with and gone with that, no skin off my back. Had I been modeling before we were dating? Different story. Do I plan to model forever? No. Do I want to stay married to my husband until we're both gray? Yes...you have to look at the bigger picture and what's more important in your life. My marriage comes first.

I did a fetish video once, paid shoot. My feet stepping on odd bugs and critters. Unusual concept, yes. And once my relatives found out, they assumed I was doing all sorts of weird things. Nothing creepy about the videographer/photographer at all and it was up front that it was a fetish shoot and my face wasn't in the video, so I was good with it.

Jojo West wrote:
Yes...you have to look at the bigger picture and what's more important in your life. My marriage comes first.

Cole Morrison wrote:
My friends think I'm going to be raped and killed because I meet strange older men in hotel rooms and take off my clothes for photographs, and occasionally consume alcohol with them.
I try to tell them its not as bad as it sounds.

Lol.

My hubby jokes that I'm a slut, he'll randomly tell "go on, go get naked for strange men" haha.

Jojo West wrote:
My hubby jokes that I'm a slut, he'll randomly tell "go on, go get naked for strange men" haha.

When the concept of nudes, etc. came up, my boyfriend did the same. It was pretty funny and it makes you feel better because if they can jest about it in such a raunchy sense, it obviously doesn't phase them greatly. And that they trust you.

I am very particular with who see's what I shoot, but one day some family member will come across it and flip, I am sure. And I'll handle it when it comes. I hope most people  can succumb to reason, but in the end, you have to do what you feel is true & if anyone tries to deter that, it's their problem.

vbabe wrote:

I did a fetish video once, paid shoot. My feet stepping on odd bugs and critters. Unusual concept, yes. And once my relatives found out, they assumed I was doing all sorts of weird things. Nothing creepy about the videographer/photographer at all and it was up front that it was a fetish shoot and my face wasn't in the video, so I was good with it.

Um... how did your relatives find out about that?

vbabe wrote:
I'm not going to stop modeling because of what friends/family think but who also gets the annoying questions? Some of them ask my other relatives things like "Why does she do modeling? Isn't that unsafe? What happens with the photos?" Anyone else get similar eyebrows up responses about their modeling? When I say I do modeling as a hobby, they think it's because I like pictures of myself. Modeling isn't that different from other hobbies. People can enjoy the art of modeling, not necessarily because they like photos of themselves...seems silly.

Back when I started shooting pictures as a teen and young adult, my parents did worry because my thing was music photography.  I'd go to many concerts at arenas, or other music venues like at festivals and nightclubs..  During those early years, I'd go to quite a few on a weekly basis.  It could mean 4 or 5 major concerts at an arena, along with a dozen or more nights at clubs, and a few weekends at festivals during the day.  I was going to school, and working both on a part-time basis while keeping my weekends and night free for my "hobby!"  Today, I have an archive of images from several hundred music concerts or events starting around 1980.

I never told my family, especially my parents about details of some of the risky or crazy stuff I did when I was younger and getting into photography of people.  I don't like to worry them.  My best friends knew what was up because most of the time, I'd take them with me!     

Photographing models is really not as risky as going to "festival seating" or general admission concerts where you can get crushed by the massive number of people trying to get close to the stage, or broken bones from getting pulled into the mosh pit.   Even weddings can be risky! You encounter drunk people at weddings, plus everyone is very emotional ... anything can happen! I don't shoot weddings anymore, and I wont go into why right now.  I like going to shoot pictures of bands at nightclubs too.  Music is such a part of my life, but I was kidnapped as a result of bringing two German women to my studio from a club one night.  I'll get into that on another post because it's so long.

Actually the most danger has always been all the millions of miles I've logged driving on the road.  I was a member of the 100k mile a year club driving up and down the West Coast to "go places!"  More young people die in car crashes than anything else, and sadly, I've lost some friends that way. 

"What happens to the photos" is irrelevant.  Think about it.  What's the worst thing that can happen from having modeled for images?  The images go some place you don't want them to?  Unless it's child porn, or images of you with your assault rifles and bombs, it's not likely to destroy your life.  Trust me on that one because I've worked as a lab tech many years and was trained on what to watch for. 

Some of your top models have nudes out there some where, and it has not ruined their modeling career.  I even heard that there are some nudes of Lauren Hutton who help usher in the 70's/80's era of the Supermodel.  If you have plans for a top level security job in the government, or plans to become a teacher in a parochial school, or a religious minster, then you might want to be very aware of what and where your images are going, otherwise, it's not going to create any problems for the most part in your job market.

Family is another story!  If the parents, significant others or other relatives have a problem with your modeling, it's usually because they don't understand it.  That is where you make the choice (if you are pressured) to either follow your desire to enjoy modeling or to never attempt or explore your possibilities in modeling because you'd rather appease your loved one(s).  It's understandably a difficult choice for some.

Long ago, I'd heard all the reasons why I shouldn't focus on being a photographer.  Why it was a waste of money and time.   But then years later, I was shooting pictures for a celebration event of the art, writings, and music related to John Steinbeck, when I saw my old photography teacher from junior college sitting in the audience.  It was such an honor to go up him, thank him, shake his hand with him having noticed me shooting the event, he said "I'm glad that someone is using the skills they learned from my photography class!"  It's moments like that which truly make it worth while.

Image K wrote:
Patrick was kidnapped by an escort...yet will you find as link? Probably not. The general public don't believe that men in general (photographers in particular) can possibly be victimized, assaulted, battered, or stolen from...but it happens to TONS of photographers, regardless of the lack of links.

He is absolutely correct!  I was himilated, and embarrassed as a victim.  I did not go to the police.  There is no report of this incident.  There is no proof that this actually happened, and I have only in recent time ... expanded here on what happened. 

I was victimized by gender biase.  Look at it this way;  Two women meet a young, long haired man at a nightclub.  He seems pretty cool ... says he is the manager of the band playing that night.  He also says that he is a photographer with his own studio.  Gives his card ... so do you go with him that night to take pictures? 

Now thinking of this ... they follow this "photographer" in the middle of the night to a seemingly dark

vbabe wrote:
I'm not going to stop modeling because of what friends/family think but who also gets the annoying questions? Some of them ask my other relatives things like "Why does she do modeling? Isn't that unsafe? What happens with the photos?" Anyone else get similar eyebrows up responses about their modeling? When I say I do modeling as a hobby, they think it's because I like pictures of myself. Modeling isn't that different from other hobbies. People can enjoy the art of modeling, not necessarily because they like photos of themselves...seems silly.

My family is very supportive and love that I am doing this and having so much fun. My mother, sis, aunt, nieces and brother all know 'all' that I shoot and my dad only knows that I am shooting life-style and editorial style. I don't think he and I need to have a conversation about the art nudes. Although...he might know since a large canvas is on the wall at my mom's house.

Jen

Cole Morrison wrote:
My friends think I'm going to be raped and killed because I meet strange older men in hotel rooms and take off my clothes for photographs, and occasionally consume alcohol with them.
I try to tell them its not as bad as it sounds.

++

twoharts wrote:
nice to see someone who actually cares what their partner thinks. otherwise it's just housemates with benefits.

Just the same for me. My boyfriend opinion is the only one I really care and he love me modeling. So everything is ok.

Jim McSmith wrote:
A lot of families think they own you, in some places even the wider community think they have a stake in you and have a say in what you do. Quite often the local media promotes this attitude as a way of reflecting the attitude of the community that buys their products. However, if you allow people to control you then you're essentially living in fear of others. The best advice is just to get away from negative people and move away if necessary. If you're operating within a legal framework then you should be able to do your own thing without fear of discrimination or prejudice. Bear in mind that in many case people just want to keep you down because they're jealous and know they're not going anywhere themselves. Actually this kind of behaviour is most prevalent in family circles and specifically sibling rivalry. Live your own life and ignore the siblings!

I have one niece who has llamaed and been an "extra" on TV/movie sets on a professional level.  Her own sister tried to ruin the relationship I had with her due to sibling rivalry.  I love my family, but I found it best not to involve them with what I do as a photographer.  With regard to parents, we shall always be their "children" no matter how "adult" aged we get. 

You can love your family, but not involve them in what you do.  By not letting them in on too much, you prevent them meddling with your life.  Create a mental "firewall" of sorts between them and what you do.  There is only one person you need to live your life for ... and that's you!

As for personal safety, we take risks everyday!  Since I've nearly died at least a couple times already, I don't worry much about death.   As I mentioned car wrecks in an above post, many more of us die or are injured from auto accidents ... be it in the car or getting hit by a car than do so while llamaing or shooting pictures of llamas.  Women are more likely to be attacked, raped or murdered by some family member than they are to have such violence done to them by a photographer.  So the odds are in our favor of creating great images and enjoying what we do together.

Family might worry, but let them!  If a person tries to "be safe" by not doing things they want to because there are people who worry about them ... will not live a rich and fulfilling life that they wish to. 

The Rose ...
>>>  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FEIK81WlZQ 

Patrick Walberg wrote:
As for personal safety, we take risks everyday!  Since I've nearly died at least a couple times already, I don't worry much about death.   As I mentioned car wrecks in an above post, many more of us die or are injured from auto accidents ... be it in the car or getting hit by a car than do so while modeling or shooting pictures of models.  Women are more likely to be attacked, raped or murdered by some family member than they are to have such violence done to them by a photographer.  So the odds are in our favor of creating great images and enjoying what we do together.

Family might worry, but let them!  If a person tries to "be safe" by not doing things they want to because there are people who worry about them ... will not live a rich and fulfilling life that they wish to.

So true, Patrick! No good reason to living life, if you aren't living it to the fullest each day. Knock on wood, most of my modeling experiences have been very positive...you get some rough apples here and there. When I first started modeling, I never modeled without an escort because I was brought up with extreme family paranoia. Now I am much more comfortable as long as someone knows where I am, gives me a ride there and back, or I have met the photographer before the shoot.

Jojo West wrote:

I've posted about that in other threads. I wasn't modeling when my husband and I started dating. I asked how he felt about me doing it, and doing fetish or nudes (I plan on adding the fetish soon) and he was ok with it. If he had not been I would of asked what he was ok with and gone with that, no skin off my back. Had I been modeling before we were dating? Different story. Do I plan to model forever? No. Do I want to stay married to my husband until we're both gray? Yes...you have to look at the bigger picture and what's more important in your life. My marriage comes first.

I'm glad it's working for you now...but it sounds like your implying that if your husband developed a problem with it in the future, you would stop because he no longer approved.

vbabe wrote:
My mom would kill me if she knew I would meet photographers without an escort. As long as references are checked (or you've done a bit of research) and you're meeting in a somewhat public place in the middle of the day....not really a big deal. I assure my mom that she needs to trust that I have basic common sense as far as safety goes. Extreme scenarios are, well...just that. I would be uncomfortable in the photographer's home for the first shoot. Let's meet before you photograph me alone in your home...I can easily gauge what type of person you are.

Before the Internet, talking on the phone and meeting in public places first was about all we could do.  It's actually safer for people nowadays in the sense that the Internet allows us to google and check references easier. 

Yet you're comfortable with some photographer coming to your house to shoot you with your cats?   Oh but wait!  We did that!   I'm glad to have met you and your husband. 

Image K wrote:

I'm glad it's working for you now...but it sounds like your implying that if your husband developed a problem with it in the future, you would stop because he no longer approved.

It's difficult to explain the dynamics of a relationship in a forum. My husband wants my happiness above all else, but I want the same for him. We have a very mature relationship that revolves a lot around communication so if there were ever something he didn't like, we'd talk about it. Would I stop completely...if there was a valid reason for it...yeah. I don't see anything wrong with it.

My #1 priority is making our marriage work and ensuring that we continue to make each other happy for the next 50 yrs. He likes jumping off cliffs on a bicycle, and free-climbing...both those things freak me out, I would prefer he didn't do them but I would not ask him not to, but I do voice my concerns. He chooses to not do either of them because he understands why they freak me out. The same would happen if he didn't like me modeling. Everyone is different, it works for us. *shrug*

vbabe wrote:
So true, Patrick! No good reason to living life, if you aren't living it to the fullest each day. Knock on wood, most of my modeling experiences have been very positive...you get some rough apples here and there. When I first started modeling, I never modeled without an escort because I was brought up with extreme family paranoia. Now I am much more comfortable as long as someone knows where I am, gives me a ride there and back, or I have met the photographer before the shoot.

I grew up with an overly protective mother.  Think of the movie "Almost Famous" and you'll see my character as the boy who starts going to concerts, and the mom freaking out about the "weirdo's" that might be giving me "drugs!"  I swore that was my young life on the big screen!     But then 30 years later, I've got a hella'va collection of concert photos!

Too much "paranoia" is not good.  In family relationship terms, they call it being overly protective.  It's better to develop your own natural instinct about people new to you than to depend on family to sort through and judge others.  How can you learn if you don't make a few mistakes?

Patrick Walberg wrote:
Yet you're comfortable with some photographer coming to your house to shoot you with your cats?   Oh but wait!  We did that!   I'm glad to have met you and your husband. 

Actually now that you say, I was questioning it a bit, LOL. My husband knew about it and he was getting off of work around that time, so it wasn't a big deal. I am definitely glad I took the risk though.

Image K wrote:

I'm glad it's working for you now...but it sounds like your implying that if your husband developed a problem with it in the future, you would stop because he no longer approved.

I couldn't imagine stopping doing something I loved, because my husband didn't approve. That would be a deal breaker for me. I don't do nudes out of respect for my husband and because I worry about any possible consequences it would have on my day job. My husband would be supportive if I did do nudes, although I know he wouldn't entirely be comfortable with it.