Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > Where do you go to meet potential partners?

Model

EvaScarlet

Posts: 6250

Los Angeles, California, US

After the dissolution of my last relationship, I am starting to wonder where, exactly, people typically meet other people that they end up dating...

This last one I met in the theatre. Before that was a movie set. Before that, a very long relationship that started in college (met in school too)... 

The bar scene does not appeal. Ditto for clubs. Guess I'll eventually meet someone through another gig... But how in the world do people usually do this?


EDIT: I was not necessarily meaning to say that I am fixated on finding someone at this precise moment...or that I'm not...hmm, I don't know whether I am or not. It can happen when it happens- I'm fine with that.
It was more of a general question, since I had been asking myself and realized I didn't know the answer.

Feb 07 13 10:51 pm Link

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Photographer

-JAY-

Posts: 6729

Las Vegas, Nevada, US

I met my wife on a website called Model Mayhem.

Feb 07 13 10:56 pm Link

Model

Umair Riaz

Posts: 1122

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Met my better half the same way you met one of your Exes; At my Post Secondary institution. Ironically enough, I met her during a time when I wasn't really interested in a long term relationship Lol!

So I guess with me, it was just sheer wonderful beautiful luck smile.

You are a very pretty girl and from what your portfolio has to say about you; Very interesting as well smile. I doubt it will be too long before you find someone who truly appreciates you.

Good luck.

Feb 07 13 10:56 pm Link

Model

DEACTIVATED ACCOUNT

Posts: 1294

Čaġčarān, Ġawr, Afghanistan

I met my on again off again on again boyfriend of the past three years in a shopping centre food court. He was cute, on crutches and was reading a book on his own. I thought he looked like he could use some company.

Other guys that I've met during the 'off' periods, have been when I was out dancing.

Feb 07 13 10:57 pm Link

Model

hygvhgvkhy

Posts: 2092

Chicago, Illinois, US

EvaScarlet wrote:
After the dissolution of my last relationship, I am starting to wonder where, exactly, people typically meet other people that they end up dating...

This last one I met in the theatre. Before that was a movie set. Before that, a very long relationship that started in college (met in school too)... 

The bar scene does not appeal. Ditto for clubs. Guess I'll eventually meet someone through another gig... But how in the world do people usually do this?

Key word.. Usually. Bars, clubs, friends. I'm clearly of no use. Haha my only advice would be to go out more. Not meant in any bad way, I just mean, put yourself out in a situation to meet someone as often as possible. You could meet someone getting coffee(-:

Feb 07 13 10:58 pm Link

Photographer

Little Ginger Lamb

Posts: 62

Atlanta, Georgia, US

I met my boyfriend at Dragoncon. Multiple friends have met their SOs this way, too. Nerdy conventions as a whole seem to be a pretty good place to meet people, given you're into nerdy things.

Other places my friends have met SOs: Doing Rocky Horror, OKCupid, being a barista, a bookstore, working together, etc. I met an ex while having lunch at college!

I mean, it sounds like you're on the right track, but just let it happen when it happens.

Feb 07 13 11:04 pm Link

Photographer

DougBPhoto

Posts: 38916

Portland, Oregon, US

In addition to where to go, pay attention to your body language, or at least think about your body language, to make sure that you're not giving of a "don't you dare talk to me" vibe.

No sense going to the "right" place if you're giving off the wrong vibes.

Feb 07 13 11:06 pm Link

Photographer

The Grey Forest

Posts: 346

Igoumenítsa, Kentriki Ellada, Greece

in our supposedly interconnected world, people are actually more distant from one another or distracted in their own little world (texting & goofing around on iphones) too much to pay attention to the rest of humanity. 

Sometimes you might feel too embarassed or out of line to introduce yourself to someone who catches your attention ~ or to bother them at their work ~ all these little things & insecurities that are out to sabotage our pursuit of happiness.

I used to manage night clubs, it truly is a horrible place to meet someone, because the atmosphere of that arena, church events, if your into that thing, or places people go ~ usually the relationships that last the longest are the ones where you both have similar interests ~ or mulitple interests, and always something to learn from one another. 

Then again, giving each other space and keeping common respect is the most important ingredient.  Which is just second in line to the most important of all qualities is: first and foremost, you have to be happy with yourself!  and no matter what, if you aren't, you will never truly find someone to fill that void.

yours, Michel

Feb 07 13 11:06 pm Link

Photographer

Orca Bay Images

Posts: 32385

Poulsbo, Washington, US

Presley ONeil wrote:

Key word.. Usually. Bars, clubs, friends. I'm clearly of no use. Haha my only advice would be to go out more. Not meant in any bad way, I just mean, put yourself out in a situation to meet someone as often as possible. You could meet someone getting coffee(-:

Come on! You're sixteen!

Feb 07 13 11:07 pm Link

Model

hygvhgvkhy

Posts: 2092

Chicago, Illinois, US

Orca Bay Images wrote:
Come on! You're sixteen!

And..?

I'm 17. But anyway.

Feb 07 13 11:14 pm Link

Photographer

DougBPhoto

Posts: 38916

Portland, Oregon, US

PS: (OP) - you could visit Portland wink

Feb 07 13 11:21 pm Link

Photographer

Raoul Isidro Images

Posts: 6333

Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

EvaScarlet wrote:
I had been asking myself and realized I didn't know the answer.

Nobody knows the answer, that's for sure.

Position yourself.

I have a neighbor who never met girls because he was assigned here and there as a military missile techo, and had monitors and machines to talk to all day.

Long story shortened, he joined an archery club beside the military firing range and met the beauty of his dreams. I signed their mortage loan papers for a new home six months later, and they got married after that.

Also: Watch>>>> 500 Days Of Summer (highly recommended) borat
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2009/8/4/1249394044542/A-scene-from-500-Days-of--001.jpg


.

Feb 07 13 11:24 pm Link

Model

DEACTIVATED ACCOUNT

Posts: 1294

Čaġčarān, Ġawr, Afghanistan

Oh and when I'm clubbing I always find the bartenders, bouncers, door staff etc so so so so so much more attractive than the patrons. Maybe it's just the 'can I help you, miss?' attitude, but I'm pretty sure I just find sober people far more attractive than drunken people.. Their not looking at me through beer goggles, they're appreciating what's really there.

Feb 07 13 11:28 pm Link

Photographer

Christopher Carter

Posts: 7699

Indianapolis, Indiana, US

Presley ONeil wrote:

And..?

I'm 17. But anyway.

You obviously don't understand how an adult may not have time to hang out at the coffee shop to meet someone. Or the bars. Life is very much easier as a teen.

Feb 07 13 11:29 pm Link

Photographer

DougBPhoto

Posts: 38916

Portland, Oregon, US

Mnemosyne Photography wrote:

You obviously don't understand how an adult may not have time to hang out at the coffee shop to meet someone. Or the bars. Life is very much easier as a teen.

Actually, many adults do exactly those things.

Personally, I see no harm in a woman taking a more pro-active approach to finding someone, whether events that will lead to shared interests or whatever, instead of waiting for Mr. Right to find them.

Feb 07 13 11:33 pm Link

Model

hygvhgvkhy

Posts: 2092

Chicago, Illinois, US

Mnemosyne Photography wrote:
You obviously don't understand how an adult may not have time to hang out at the coffee shop to meet someone. Or the bars. Life is very much easier as a teen.

Haha okay. Then you don't meet someone, or you do at work.

It's cute how you use my age to let out whatever grudge you have against me. I'm certainly not the only person who suggested she go out, and I simply said put yourself in a situation to meet someone. Which could be getting your clothes dry cleaned, grocery shopping, coffee, actually shopping at a mall, a class or club there's plenty of places.

But I mean, I'm just a teen who sits in a house without a car every day of my life. Clearly i get out tons. I've had a boyfriend for 7 months. I wouldn't know anything:P

Feb 07 13 11:37 pm Link

Model

EvaScarlet

Posts: 6250

Los Angeles, California, US

Mnemosyne Photography wrote:
You obviously don't understand how an adult may not have time to hang out at the coffee shop to meet someone. Or the bars. Life is very much easier as a teen.

???

Plenty of adults go to coffee shops.

(and- um- I would be willing to bet you'll find more adults at bars than teens...lol.)

I don't see anything wrong with her suggestions.


(And not sure where the "life is very much easier as a teen" thing came from either. Every decade has its good and its bad...I know my teen years were pretty damn stressful, and in hindsight, I wouldn't care to repeat the experience! I doubt I'm the only one who feels that way.)

Feb 07 13 11:42 pm Link

Photographer

Sophistocles

Posts: 21320

Seattle, Washington, US

Vegas.

Italy.

Board meetings.

Feb 07 13 11:45 pm Link

Model

EvaScarlet

Posts: 6250

Los Angeles, California, US

Sophistocles wrote:
Vegas.

Italy.

Board meetings.

haha...I met all my boyfriends in Vegas when I lived in Vegas...

Feb 07 13 11:46 pm Link

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Damianne

Posts: 15975

Austin, Texas, US

You go do things that interest you.

Feb 07 13 11:57 pm Link

Photographer

Mortonovich

Posts: 5680

San Diego, California, US

I do like Fonzie did in that one episode of Happy Days and collide shopping carts with a hottie at the super market.

Feb 08 13 12:02 am Link

Photographer

Cherrystone

Posts: 36961

Columbus, Ohio, US

Mnemosyne Photography wrote:

You obviously don't understand how an adult may not have time to hang out at the coffee shop to meet someone. Or the bars. Life is very much easier as a teen.

Indie coffee shop was my second "home/office" for a long time.......on top of 55-65 hours a week at work.

Wanna guess which of my images came from java shop folks that I shot/dated or hung with?

Feb 08 13 12:07 am Link

Photographer

Select Models

Posts: 36284

Upland, California, US

Sophistocles wrote:
Vegas.

Italy.

Board meetings.

Exactly... and just like their moto says... 'What happens in Vegas, STAYS in Vegas'... so I wave goodbye to all those broken hearted babes when I'm flyin outta town... wink

Feb 08 13 12:27 am Link

Photographer

fine art nudes by paul

Posts: 3287

Berkeley, California, US

craigslist

Feb 08 13 12:48 am Link

Model

Stormee

Posts: 2463

San Antonio, Texas, US

Feb 08 13 12:49 am Link

Photographer

SayCheeZ!

Posts: 18176

Las Vegas, Nevada, US

I had some pretty good luck when I was hangin' around a Thai street vendor that was selling fried bugs.  The girls were actually buying me dinner (the bugs), which I refused in most cases.

For a guy, cruises work well.  Most cruise ships have more single females than single men (most men would rather go on a fishing trip or hunting expedition).  I ran a casino on a ship and by the time I came back to land life I "forgot" how to pick up women because on the ship it's the women that do the chasin'.

Feb 08 13 12:49 am Link

Photographer

JaneyGarnet

Posts: 85

Portland, Oregon, US

I found an awesome boyfriend on okcupid.  He even buys me glass!

Feb 08 13 12:49 am Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24759

Tampa, Florida, US

When you find out let me know,as this is the holy grail I have been chasing...
I don't go out to bars and clubs,have failed miserably on dating sites,and my job is very limiting
on who I meet(being an OTR trucker,my time interacting with people are at truck stops..erm...pass,at the gym..where I have zero time to socialize,and where I lay over on weekends,usually in some Gooberville that has nothing of interest to do other than the local shopping Mall)...And when I do go out,while I love going to see great bands play,this past week seeing Sabaton and Devin Townsend were amazing,its generally an 80%-20% guy to girl ratio
and most of those non males I am not into(the few that are actually single)..
I have said numerous times that the only way I'm going to actually meet someone that I have a legit chance of hooking up with will be if a friend introduces me to a single friend knowing what I'm looking for and such..

Feb 08 13 02:30 am Link

Photographer

Jason Haven

Posts: 38366

Washington, District of Columbia, US

Dating sites are the easy answer for women, you'll get slammed with suitors. lol

For guys, we're pretty much stuck with clubs/bars it seems. Not my scene. So I'm going to attempt groups on meetup.com and the what not.

Or maybe just go back to school. lol

Feb 08 13 03:20 am Link

Model

EvaScarlet

Posts: 6250

Los Angeles, California, US

ASYLUM - Photo wrote:
Dating sites are the easy answer for women, you'll get slammed with suitors. lol

For guys, we're pretty much stuck with clubs/bars it seems. Not my scene. So I'm going to attempt groups on meetup.com and the what not.

Or maybe just go back to school. lol

School is such a boon, while you have it...

I do remember wondering, while I was still in college (Lordy was the music dept ever a cesspool of 6- or more like 2 or 3- degrees of separation, dating wise), how people find people to date once they get into the "real world".  College really is good for that. A ready-made group of people in a certain age range, whom you will see on a regular basis, and with whom you automatically have something (in our case, music) in common... Pretty nifty.

Feb 08 13 03:24 am Link

Photographer

Chris Rifkin

Posts: 24759

Tampa, Florida, US

EvaScarlet wrote:

School is such a boon, while you have it...

I do remember wondering, while I was still in college (Lordy was the music dept ever a cesspool of 6- or more like 2 or 3- degrees of separation, dating wise), how people find people to date once they get into the "real world".  College really is good for that. A ready-made group of people in a certain age range, whom you will see on a regular basis, and with whom you automatically have something (in our case, music) in common... Pretty nifty.

Heh,I met my first GF(the one who I still feel to this day I'd be married to if she didn't get wiped out by a drunk driver)my first year in college in my intro to Weather class(actually we had been kinda aquaintences the prefious few years hanging out at the local mall;she had a crush on me and of course being socially inept I did not pick up the signs)...One month into the semester we offically hooked up at a dude ranch a bunch of us went to in the Catskills...(forget the how's and whys,except that Save Our Love by Great White came on and she tried to choke me out on the dancefloor with her tongue lol)

Feb 08 13 03:54 am Link

Photographer

Paolo Diavolo

Posts: 8862

Martinez, California, US

Over the last 10 aprox years, I've had 5 real relationships, heres how we met:

5. Met on MM.
4. Met at a fashion show we both worked.
3. Had mutual friends.
2. Met on MM.
1. Had mutual friends.

#1 and #3 were both non-industry people but both of them
and I all shared another (the same) interest.

To answer the original question:
"Where do you go to meet?"
You don't have to go anywhere.
Want to meet someone to date? just do things you enjoy.
People meet thru common interests, duh! tongue
If you're going to clubs and bars to pick up on people, then thats an entirely different thing.

Feb 08 13 04:04 am Link

Model

Jules NYC

Posts: 16625

New York, New York, US

Presley ONeil wrote:
And..?

I'm 17. But anyway.

I loved being 17.
In fact, being 15 was the best.

These days, if someone made me feel that way again, I'd marry them.
Oh wait, that was just back in September and it didn't work out.

lol

PS, I met him on OK Cupid.

If he only was mature enough to realize a woman who he dated before was manipulating and guilting him into sustaining that relationship while we were together.

... but hey, people have free will and should know what respect is all about.

I can not be with a man that knows neither.

smile

Feb 08 13 06:13 am Link

Photographer

R A V E N D R I V E

Posts: 15867

New York, New York, US

hm, I have a big clique that I just fish out of right now, and I otherwise ignore beautiful women on the street

but I usually opt for instadates, like

"hi, here's an apple, join me on this grand adventure"

or

"let me read your palm, ... ugh team edward? ... thats okay lets get ice cream"

or

I'm eye flirting with a girl, but another girl thinks I'm looking at her "I'm eye fucking your friend, but.. you're next!"


I've had droughts though! but like I said, right now I have a big clique that refreshes itself due to the unique attributes of visa expiration dates

also, models.

Feb 08 13 06:34 am Link

Model

Jules NYC

Posts: 16625

New York, New York, US

Chris Rifkin wrote:
When you find out let me know,as this is the holy grail I have been chasing...
I don't go out to bars and clubs,have failed miserably on dating sites,and my job is very limiting
on who I meet(being an OTR trucker,my time interacting with people are at truck stops..erm...pass,at the gym..where I have zero time to socialize,and where I lay over on weekends,usually in some Gooberville that has nothing of interest to do other than the local shopping Mall)...And when I do go out,while I love going to see great bands play,this past week seeing Sabaton and Devin Townsend were amazing,its generally an 80%-20% guy to girl ratio
and most of those non males I am not into(the few that are actually single)..
I have said numerous times that the only way I'm going to actually meet someone that I have a legit chance of hooking up with will be if a friend introduces me to a single friend knowing what I'm looking for and such..

I think how you and your ex were together was a beautiful thing because that is the way you describe it.

A lot of people (not just you) struggle with finding new love after a love has passed. Mostly because they are still grieving. Maybe a woman could help you through that grief but how would a new relationship develop when both of you are not in an open place to discover the potential love that may unfold?

...but anything is possible and when one is free to love, they allow it into their heart.

If you really want a Russian girl, think about moving there, or TN where there are probably many sweet, country girls that look like Carrie Underwood.

... or hit up ever prog metal fest in the states and abroad.

I ran out of suggestions!

I'll probably end up with someone from the UK.
I like my English:)

Feb 08 13 06:37 am Link

Photographer

KonstantKarma

Posts: 2513

Hickory, North Carolina, US

I tend to meet my relationships on MM.

It draws the great, crazy, creative types that share my photographic/modelling interests.

Feb 08 13 06:43 am Link

Photographer

R A V E N D R I V E

Posts: 15867

New York, New York, US

KonstantKarma wrote:
I tend to meet my relationships on MM.

It draws the great, crazy, creative types that share my photographic/modelling interests.

emphasis on crazy, lollll

models have very interesting lives, compared to other career women, definitely keeps me coming back

Feb 08 13 06:44 am Link

Photographer

KonstantKarma

Posts: 2513

Hickory, North Carolina, US

R A V E N D R I V E wrote:

emphasis on crazy, lollll

models have very interesting lives, compared to other career women, definitely keeps me coming back

lol You got that right!

There's a reason my relationships don't work out.. but they're a lot of fun on the ride down.

Feb 08 13 06:45 am Link

Photographer

S W I N S K E Y

Posts: 24319

Saint Petersburg, Florida, US

Chris Rifkin wrote:
I have said numerous times that the only way I'm going to actually meet someone that I have a legit chance of hooking up with will be if a friend introduces me to a single friend knowing what I'm looking for and such..

[tough love] If you think one your friends is going to offer you up, a 20 year old glamour model, you'll be waiting a long time...

here's the deal Chris, you are going to be alone, as long as you continue to think that women, anywhere near your own age, are cougars. you discount/ignore real live, attractive/intelligent women, in favor of being strung along (led on), by girls that don't have a bit of concern for you, except as a  revenue stream.

you continue to do the same thing over and over, yet expect a different result.

as a friend, its hard to watch. do something different![/tough love]

http://i.imgur.com/m8TQi.png

Feb 08 13 06:58 am Link

Photographer

Light Writer

Posts: 18387

Oakland, California, US

Friends, and friends of friends.
In places you like to be
you'll find those like you

but not through poems,
poems suck as pickup lines
not even noticed

or the internet
which seems to work for volume-
quality unsure



LOL

Feb 08 13 06:59 am Link