Forums > Critique > Newbie seeking advice on profile..

Model

Lilu Lynn

Posts: 55

Cabo San Lucas, Baja California Sur, Mexico

I feel my bio is long! I read others that are short but let you know what they are looking for or even fun to read! How can I make my bio better?
Also I have professional pictures coming April. Till then what can I / should I delete?
Thanks for your time! Much appreciated!
Lilu Love

Mar 26 13 08:40 am Link

Model

K I C K H A M

Posts: 14636

Los Angeles, California, US

I'd split it up a bit because it's a lot of dense text.

You have a couple of errors, like the unnecessary apostrophe in "tattoos."

I would do:

My MAIN area is Mexico (Cabo San Lucas and La Paz). I am originally from Oregon. I visit about once a year (Portland and North Bend) Also rarely I go up to San Diego, California.
I have various tattoos on my right upper arm, back and a few different ear piercings. A dream of mine is to be featured in a Tattoo magazine.

Looks I would love to re-create would be: Marie Antoinette, Alice in Wonderland, Willy Wonka/ Candy Land..

I would love to play with corsets and maybe latex. I'm definitely open to different ideas! I am in the process of rebuilding my portfolio, thus TFP would be best at this point. If something comes around I am crazy about, money is available, I could pay. So please don't hesitate to contact me!

And personally I would add a line introducing yourself. smile
One recommendation, when you do a bio for anything, anywhere--run it through spellcheck first!

Mar 26 13 08:51 am Link

Model

K I C K H A M

Posts: 14636

Los Angeles, California, US

I'd delete this. Not flattering to your face, not a professional photo.
http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/130311/22/513eba5088e85.jpg

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/130210/08/5117c4e6a84de.jpg
Awkward pose, unflattering lighting, doesn't show off your body- just doesn't really have a use.

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/121006/07/50703c6af1864.jpg
Again, not a professional photo, and no real purpose. Cute, but kind of like posting a picture of you and your cat that your mom took. Just doesn't belong.


Really, I'd only keep these:
http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/130210/08/5117c546db5dd.jpg
I'm not much of a fan, but it's the only photo that shows your legs. Try to get a good full body shot at your next shoot to replace this!

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/130215/10/511e7b2136b76.jpg
This is nice. It's good to keep an updated no makeup shot!

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/121219/06/50d1d4ca19d69.jpg
This is cute and I know what your tattoos look like.

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/130205/16/5111aaad17deb.jpg
I would make this your main photo. Very nice.

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/130210/08/5117c5c76107a.jpg
Shows a little personality. smile Let that come out in the shoots you have coming up and replace this one with a professional one.

I'd keep one of the smiling candid ones, but you don't need both.

Best of luck!!!

Mar 26 13 09:01 am Link

Model

Lilu Lynn

Posts: 55

Cabo San Lucas, Baja California Sur, Mexico

Constructive criticism, I like it! I agree about breaking it up and did so. It makes my points clearer.. Also deleted a few pictures, kept in mind your idea about the few suggested.. As I will be getting professional pictures soon I guess less is more! I think as a newbie I felt like I had to put up all/ any recent pictures, to make better my chances for work.. But then allot of my pictures right now look the same..
Thank You for you'r time!

Mar 26 13 09:52 am Link

Model

K I C K H A M

Posts: 14636

Los Angeles, California, US

Oh, trust me, when you start getting back all the pictures from actual SHOOTS, you will have an even HARDER time deciding what to keep up!

But, really, it's not a bad problem to have. wink



I'd definitely delete a lot when you get the new photos, but I'd recommend keeping the no-makeup snapshot and the tattoo one, they are very useful!

Mar 26 13 10:52 am Link