Forums > Critique > Profile critique?



Posts: 2989

Seattle, Washington, US

I've been changing and updating things and am curious if there's anything annoying/bad/poorly worded/etc. in my profile.

I've tried to keep it as short as possible, which is hard for me because I can talk for days and like to keep everything in one place so I don't have to remember what to repeat to people 100 different times.

Thanks in advance!

Mar 26 13 06:52 pm Link



Posts: 649

Los Angeles, California, US

It looks really great! It shows your personality, and it's well organized and spaced. The only thing that grabs my attention is one sentence under the travel heading:

*If I contact you about being in your city 97% of the time I have to accept paid assignments only because of time restraints. Always happy to trade for plane tickets, theatre tickets, wardrobe, or anything of value! Always happy to barter.

That first sentence is a little convoluted. You could simplify it to just say, 'The majority of the time, I can only accept paid work while traveling.' I also might move that whole section down a little bit. Start off with your charming personality, and then go into details about your traveling conditions.

Hope that helps!

Mar 26 13 06:59 pm Link


F-1 Photo

Posts: 1162

New York, New York, US

I love listening to you!

Mar 26 13 07:02 pm Link


The Gross Bite

Posts: 3966

Lansing, Michigan, US

I dunno...

I'd give it a pretty high 'fog' index... meaning it's intended for someone with college level reading ability and a tolerance for smart ass commentary.

Might be a bit too smart for some, might be just the thing for attracting a limited audience. But you don't want a limited audience... you want max pay days. Might back off a tad.

Just my smart ass opinion. (Yes, I graduated college... no, not liberal arts.)

Mar 26 13 07:20 pm Link



Posts: 37171

Columbus, Ohio, US

Too long.....and if you're smart, you'd never put "rates" on your profile for many reasons....and some of that other BS too

Mar 26 13 07:23 pm Link



Posts: 1368

Houston, Texas, US

I think it's a bit long. I agree with the person above who thought the beginning of your travel section was a bit awkwardly stated.

In your About Me section you say, "I'm currently modeling full time (KA-POW, FUCK YEAH!) …" A simple "Yippee!" might suffice instead of "(KA-POW, FUCK YEAH!)." Also in that section, there is a link to a photo of one of your tattoos, but you have a couple, not shown, that are large and dominating. Best to let potential employers know about those, too, without having to open your portfolio and look at images full size to discover them.

In the When Messaging Me section you might consider losing the underscoring. It's another form of shouting, like using all caps.

Unlike one of the posters above, I appreciate it that you have your rates posted and that you will negotiate. The link to your barter list is brilliant, except that someone might miss it, thinking it was just another case of underscoring and it says "Seriously" rather than something boring but clear, like "Click here for more details."

On balance, I think you're close. A little more fine tuning and you're there.

Mar 26 13 08:32 pm Link