Forums > Model Colloquy > Models using fans for gifts.

Model

Leone P

Posts: 515

Batley, England, United Kingdom

Hey all!

So i have this fan who keeps messaging me asking if i would ever use a fan. I said i would never use a fan and he repled that it as a shame.
I asked him why he would ask me such a question and he replied that he would like to spend money on me etc.

What is the deal with this sort of thing?

*Edit- It seems as though he wants me to demand that he spend money on me you know? Like a dominating role.*

Mar 27 13 08:39 am Link

Photographer

SME

Posts: 21029

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, US

Google "financial domination."  It's a whole thing.

Mar 27 13 08:48 am Link

Photographer

Carle Photography

Posts: 9227

Oakland, California, US

Amazon gift list...

Many many people use them for fans/friends/devotees/piggies to allow them to buy you gifts and tributes that you would enjoy.

Make a list, and put in a spread of items with different prices.

Mar 27 13 08:49 am Link

Photographer

Christopher Hartman

Posts: 54149

Buena Park, California, US

Leone P wrote:
Hey all!

So i have this fan who keeps messaging me asking if i would ever use a fan. I said i would never use a fan and he repled that it as a shame.
I asked him why he would ask me such a question and he replied that he would like to spend money on me etc.

What is the deal with this sort of thing?

*Edit- It seems as though he wants me to demand that he spend money on me you know? Like a dominating role.*

Create an Amazon.com wishlist and share it with the sucker.

Mar 27 13 08:55 am Link

Model

Leone P

Posts: 515

Batley, England, United Kingdom

Ah i see! If i do an amazon list, would he be able to see my home address etc?
It would seem as if financial domination sums it up!

Mar 27 13 08:55 am Link

Photographer

Christopher Hartman

Posts: 54149

Buena Park, California, US

Leone P wrote:
Ah i see! If i do an amazon list, would he be able to see my home address etc?
It would seem as if financial domination sums it up!

I don't think so.  But I'd check with Amazon to be sure.

Mar 27 13 08:58 am Link

Model

Leone P

Posts: 515

Batley, England, United Kingdom

He has asked me if i could make him pay me and give me gifts for a few months and then make him pay 5k under the promise to meet but then bloack and delete him. He sounds like he wants me to do this.

Surely that would be illegal in some way?

Mar 27 13 09:05 am Link

Photographer

Christopher Hartman

Posts: 54149

Buena Park, California, US

Leone P wrote:
He has asked me if i could make him pay me and give me gifts for a few months and then make him pay 5k under the promise to meet but then bloack and delete him. He sounds like he wants me to do this.

Surely that would be illegal in some way?

No.  If someone wants to give you stuff, that's up to them.

But don't do anything that makes you feel bad about yourself.  In this case, I think you did the right thing by cutting him off.  Some things are not worth the risk.

Mar 27 13 09:07 am Link

Photographer

ontherocks

Posts: 22603

Salem, Oregon, US

one of my models has a fan like this. i believe he's in the UK. just his particular thing i guess. it has worked out well for her. i've exchanged email with him. he seems nice.

the thing i'd wonder about is whether the guy might come to eventually expect some in-person favors.

it's common for models to have amazon wish lists for their fans. basically a sugar daddy lite sort of thing.

Mar 27 13 09:09 am Link

Photographer

Good Egg Productions

Posts: 15702

Orlando, Florida, US

Leone P wrote:
Ah i see! If i do an amazon list, would he be able to see my home address etc?
It would seem as if financial domination sums it up!

No they do not.

Amazon is cool that way.

Mar 27 13 09:11 am Link

Photographer

Good Egg Productions

Posts: 15702

Orlando, Florida, US

ontherocks wrote:
one of my models has a fan like this. i believe he's in the UK. just his particular thing i guess. it has worked out well for her. i've exchanged email with him. he seems nice.

the thing i'd wonder about is whether the guy might come to eventually expect some in-person favors.

it's common for models to have amazon wish lists for their fans. basically a sugar daddy lite sort of thing.

Who cares if he does.  Unless she purposely gives him personal contact information, she is at her leisure to end contact whenever she feels it necessary.

There are a lot of men in this world with money to burn. Some want to spend it on a nearly anonymous woman in the hopes of making her happy. Who can argue with that?

Mar 27 13 09:14 am Link

Photographer

Carle Photography

Posts: 9227

Oakland, California, US

It is a game.

The better you play the more you win.

The professional women I know who work with Financial Domination do NOT spend time with people or even answer emails without tribute...

Do a bit of research first, maybe not public research on a well trafficked forum that he can look you up... smile

Mar 27 13 09:16 am Link

Photographer

SG-4 Photography

Posts: 120

Washington, District of Columbia, US

Get a weapon...knife/gun and learn how to use it in case you say yes to his offer to spend his money and he starts to feel "entitled".....

In short...maybe think more about how this could go south and what you'll do if it does...

Mar 27 13 09:17 am Link

Photographer

Drew Smith Photography

Posts: 5209

Nottingham, England, United Kingdom

SG-4 Photography wrote:
Get a weapon...knife/gun and learn how to use it in case you say yes to his offer to spend his money and he starts to feel "entitled".....

In short...maybe think more about how this could go south and what you'll do if it does...

I've led such a sheltered life.

I'm really not sure telling somebody to go and buy a gun and/or knife is the most accomplished of suggestions.

OP - will doing this make you feel 'eeewwww' later on? If not, fill ya boots. smile

Oh and if any models out there would like to be my 'sugar mommy lite' then I have the Amazon page with the Canon 5DIII already bookmarked. smile

Mar 27 13 09:26 am Link

Photographer

Marin Photography NYC

Posts: 7243

New York, New York, US

Amazon doesn't release your information on a gift list. Just your user name.

If he wants to buy you stuff, take it!....

Mar 27 13 09:27 am Link

Photographer

M Pandolfo Photography

Posts: 12116

Tampa, Florida, US

SG-4 Photography wrote:
Get a weapon...knife/gun and learn how to use it in case you say yes to his offer to spend his money and he starts to feel "entitled".....

In short...maybe think more about how this could go south and what you'll do if it does...

What in the flying fuck are you talking about? She's talking about setting up a simple Amazon Wish List that thousands of online personalities do every day and you're telling her to buy a weapon.

Oh, by the way, I have a friend who set up an online Wedding Registry at Bed, Bath & Beyond...should I advise them to buy a Glock to protect themselves from people who might contribute?

WTF

Mar 27 13 09:27 am Link

Model

Danielle Reid

Posts: 4375

Little Rock, Arkansas, US

I use Amazon with my current online job (not going into details) the guys can see you City/State but not the address. Also if you feel they can see the address then get a P.O Box. I use a fake name for everything "fan" related online and all gifts are addressed to my fake name. Some men just like to spend money.

Mar 27 13 09:30 am Link

Photographer

Carle Photography

Posts: 9227

Oakland, California, US

SG-4 Photography wrote:
Get a weapon...knife/gun and learn how to use it in case you say yes to his offer to spend his money and he starts to feel "entitled".....

In short...maybe think more about how this could go south and what you'll do if it does...

Michael Pandolfo wrote:
What in the flying fuck are you talking about? She's talking about setting up a simple Amazon Wish List that thousands of online personalities do every day and you're telling her to buy a weapon.

Oh, by the way, I have a friend who set up an online Wedding Registry at Bed, Bath & Beyond...should I advise them to buy a Glock to protect themselves from people who might contribute?

WTF

Some people are a little paranoid....
It would be funny to put a taser on the gift list...
yikes

Mar 27 13 09:33 am Link

Photographer

MCPHOTO

Posts: 732

Duvall, Washington, US

Leone P wrote:
He has asked me if i could make him pay me and give me gifts for a few months and then make him pay 5k under the promise to meet but then bloack and delete him. He sounds like he wants me to do this.

Surely that would be illegal in some way?

I'm no lawyer, but couldn't the guy decide later to sue or say it was blackmail?

Mar 27 13 09:34 am Link

Model

Danielle Reid

Posts: 4375

Little Rock, Arkansas, US

MCPHOTO wrote:

I'm no lawyer, but couldn't the guy decide later to sue or say it was blackmail?

Not if she has proof that HE said MAKE ME.

Mar 27 13 09:40 am Link

Photographer

ontherocks

Posts: 22603

Salem, Oregon, US

just seems like you could in rare cases wind up with a stalker on your hands. it's not that hard between google and facebook to figure out some people's true identities.

but so far it has worked out fine for my model.

Good Egg Productions wrote:
Who cares if he does.  Unless she purposely gives him personal contact information, she is at her leisure to end contact whenever she feels it necessary.

Mar 27 13 09:40 am Link

Model

MoRina

Posts: 5813

Fort Lauderdale, Florida, US

It's essentially cyber-prostitution.  You'll be satisfying his sexual desires in exchange for gifts.  If you are comfortable with that, then go ahead and set up your wish list.

I have no problems selling people signed pictures or doing custom photo sets for money, but I am certainly not going to engage in an online relationship for money and/or gifts.

Mar 27 13 09:49 am Link

Photographer

Leighthenubian

Posts: 2964

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

MoRina wrote:
It's essentially cyber-prostitution.  You'll be satisfying his sexual desires in exchange for gifts.  If you are comfortable with that, then go ahead and set up your wish list.

I have no problems selling people signed pictures or doing custom photo sets for money, but I am certainly not going to engage in an online relationship for money and/or gifts.

The voice of reason...

Mar 27 13 10:37 am Link

Photographer

Carle Photography

Posts: 9227

Oakland, California, US

MoRina wrote:
It's essentially cyber-prostitution.  You'll be satisfying his sexual desires in exchange for gifts.  If you are comfortable with that, then go ahead and set up your wish list.

I have no problems selling people signed pictures or doing custom photo sets for money, but I am certainly not going to engage in an online relationship for money and/or gifts.

I also do custom photo sets for clients, how do you work with a client several times a year and NOT have any sort of relationship with them? Yes a working relationship is just that, but over time you do learn more of them. Many of my long term clients become friends. Friends that hire me to produce dirty images... smile

But that in its self is a relationship.

I wont hold your hand though.

Mar 27 13 11:08 am Link

Model

MoRina

Posts: 5813

Fort Lauderdale, Florida, US

Death of Field wrote:
I also do custom photo sets for clients, how do you work with a client several times a year and NOT have any sort of relationship with them? Yes a working relationship is just that, but over time you do learn more of them. Many of my long term clients become friends. Friends that hire me to produce dirty images... smile

But that in its self is a relationship.

I wont hold your hand though.

Ha

I just got back from the gym.  I go there 3 days a week, so I guess you could say I have a relationship with them; however, that relationship does not include me accepting money from them in exchange for giving permission to email me and tell me how badly they want to have sex with me, how they would do it, blah blah blah, and me emailing back telling them they don't deserve me.

Re-read what I said.  I didn't pass judgement.  I didn't say she shouldn't do it.  I called a spade a spade.  If the OP chooses to do it, she should go into it knowing exactly what it is.

Mar 27 13 01:29 pm Link

Photographer

ontherocks

Posts: 22603

Salem, Oregon, US

agreed. that stuff doesn't usually come for free. you will have to pay attention to the donor. maybe do a photo shoot in the clothes he bought you. and so on. what exactly transpires probably depends on the donor but don't think you'll just get a ton of free stuff and not have to do anything in return (that would be nice, though).

MoRina wrote:
If the OP chooses to do it, she should go into it knowing exactly what it is.

Mar 27 13 02:29 pm Link

Model

Cole Morrison

Posts: 3958

Portland, Oregon, US

well shit, if someone wanted to blow money on me i certainly wouldnt stop them.

Mar 27 13 02:38 pm Link

Photographer

ontherocks

Posts: 22603

Salem, Oregon, US

i've been told such men exist on zivity ...

Cole Morrison wrote:
well shit, if someone wanted to blow money on me i certainly wouldnt stop them.

Mar 27 13 02:40 pm Link

Model

FallenEcho

Posts: 1177

Escondido, California, US

It seems to be semi-common for fans to buy gifts actually. I even seen a model put up a "donation" thingy where she gets some of her fans who are willing to donate to her so she can buy custom made outfits, and she wears them for shoots. 
 
It isn't so bad I don't think.

Mar 27 13 02:48 pm Link

Photographer

ShotbyRon

Posts: 767

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, US

This is not a uncommon thing. There are plenty of men out there who in exchange for female interaction give them money, gifts etc. I would be careful in accepting anything personally. IMO guy's who are that desperate for attention are surely unstable. They have stalker written all over them.

I'm not saying all fans are sad and lonely people. But I bet a large percent of them are.

Mar 28 13 12:56 am Link

Photographer

Darren Brade

Posts: 2827

London, England, United Kingdom

SG-4 Photography wrote:
Get a weapon...knife/gun and learn how to use it in case you say yes to his offer to spend his money and he starts to feel "entitled".....

In short...maybe think more about how this could go south and what you'll do if it does...

Pmsl.  Nice one mate,  maybe you should read where the OP is located?  She would be arrested for having an offensive weapon.

Mar 28 13 01:31 am Link

Photographer

Darren Brade

Posts: 2827

London, England, United Kingdom

Drew Smith Photography wrote:

I've led such a sheltered life.

I'm really not sure telling somebody to go and buy a gun and/or knife is the most accomplished of suggestions.

But you're in Notts,  the UK gun crime capital.

Although our friends across the Pond are probably laughing and thinking 'you call that a gun?'.

Mar 28 13 01:35 am Link

Photographer

Kent Art Photography

Posts: 2908

Ashford, England, United Kingdom

OP, do you think there might be enough information out there for your fan (stalker) to trace you?

Batley isn't a big place, and innocent posts on Facebook, possibly by friends, might be enough to give your fan enough information to go looking for you, even if it's only to 'see' you wearing something he's paid for.  Would you want that?

Mar 28 13 03:07 am Link

Model

JadeDRed

Posts: 5459

London, England, United Kingdom

Kent Art Photography wrote:
OP, do you think there might be enough information out there for your fan (stalker) to trace you?

Batley isn't a big place, and innocent posts on Facebook, possibly by friends, might be enough to give your fan enough information to go looking for you, even if it's only to 'see' you wearing something he's paid for.  Would you want that?

Honestly, i think the stalker risk is overblown. Photographers can easily get personal information from me and have shown more psycho behaviour than fans ever have over the years. If any 'fan' wanted to get my details he could just pretend to be a photographer.

But not putting too much information out there is still good practice, just no need to get paranoid.

Edit: Just seen there is a post in another forum about how its unprofessional not to give out your phone number immediately to a photographer, which proves my point.

Mar 28 13 03:57 am Link

Photographer

j3_photo

Posts: 19875

Las Vegas, Nevada, US

DO it!  So many guys that love doing this...I need to find a nice g/f who's well known on the internet borat

I used to live with a porn star...you should see the boxes of shoes she'd get, amongst other things.  One time she was out of town for a week- I snapped a pic of the pile of gifts Amazon delivered to our house.  Too funny.

MUST be nice! tongue

Mar 28 13 04:49 am Link

Photographer

Kent Art Photography

Posts: 2908

Ashford, England, United Kingdom

JadeDRed wrote:

Honestly, i think the stalker risk is overblown. Photographers can easily get personal information from me and have shown more psycho behaviour than fans ever have over the years. If any 'fan' wanted to get my details he could just pretend to be a photographer.

But not putting too much information out there is still good practice, just no need to get paranoid.

I take your point, I will admit I don't know about how the 'fan' thing works, and the domination thing worries me a bit.  I used to work in the adult business, and I know there are some very odd people out there.  If the OP is on facebook, then she's probably traceable, so it wouldn't matter whether Amazon gave out her address or not, and I'm concerned, and maybe slightly bordering on paranoid, that her anonymity would not be preserved.

Mar 28 13 04:58 am Link

guide forum

Model

Damianne

Posts: 15975

Austin, Texas, US

You'll have to talk to him on the phone, send him messages about what a little shit he is and how you deserve to have worms like him pay for your stuff, there's involvement.
Then he'll eventually let you use a paypal account or something to purchase items.

He wants you to interact with him in a way that gets him off, and by abusing him the way he wants.

If you're cool with that, go for it.

Mar 28 13 05:42 am Link

Model

JadeDRed

Posts: 5459

London, England, United Kingdom

Damianne wrote:
You'll have to talk to him on the phone, send him messages about what a little shit he is and how you deserve to have worms like him pay for your stuff, there's involvement.
Then he'll eventually let you use a paypal account or something to purchase items.

He wants you to interact with him in a way that gets him off, and by abusing him the way he wants.

If you're cool with that, go for it.

Don't forget, his fantasy is that you be in charge and tell him what to do and abuse him is just that, a fantasy.

He is still as likely to screw you over, abuse you, take advantage or whatever as any other man, he is still using you to fulfill his fantasies.

Mar 28 13 07:42 am Link

Photographer

FredSugar

Posts: 217

Dallas, Texas, US

Death of Field wrote:
Amazon gift list...

Many many people use them for fans/friends/devotees/piggies to allow them to buy you gifts and tributes that you would enjoy.

Make a list, and put in a spread of items with different prices.

+100  I know models that do this with the amazon wishlist.   They show up with an outfit and say it was from a fan, and they just need a couple of shots of them wearing it to send to them.   Free wardrobe!

Mar 28 13 07:51 am Link

Photographer

M Pandolfo Photography

Posts: 12116

Tampa, Florida, US

JadeDRed wrote:
He is still as likely to screw you over, abuse you, take addvantage or whatever as any other man, he is still using you to fulfill his fantasies.

And how is that different than any relationship, online or otherwise? Isn't every single person in a relationship, man or woman, in it to fulfill their needs?

Mar 28 13 08:02 am Link