Hey guys, I've updated my about me section on my portfolio, I was hoping some fo you guys could give me some tips on how to make it better! Feel free to give me some constructive criticism on my photos too!

Thank you!

[[As Written]]
My name is Gavin and I am 20 years old. I am currently working as a Care Assistant for the elderly with dementia. I have a high passion to travel around the world, I often travel across the country to visit my friends so I am able to travel for a photoshoot if needed. I have a passion for Aerial hoop's and silks and would really love to have a photoshoot using them! I am willing to try just about anything for a photoshoot to find out if i enjoy that style or not and to widen my portfolio as much as i can. 

So far I have had quite a range of photoshoots for a beginner in the modeling world, I have done mainly Fashion photo shoots using my own cloths. I have had a underwear photoshoot and a naked photoshoot.

Thank you for taking your time to read my portfolio. It is not great yet, but I'm trying to work on it to make it a lot better then what it is now! If you have any tips or constructive criticism please send me a message!

{{{ Nothing personal, unless it pertains to your modeling, plus we already know your name and age, too many “I’s” can get overwhelming}}}

[[Re-write]]
Love to travel, around the world would be great, often traveling across country to visit friends, will also travel for a photo shoot if needed. Aerial hoops and silks could really create some interesting images and are high on my list of shoots to do! Willing to try just about anything for a photo shoot, the only way for me to find out if I enjoy that particular style or not, which will also widen my portfolio. 

Have quite a range of photo shoots for a beginner with fashion being the biggest part, plus underwear and a naked photo shoot.

Thank you for taking your time to read my portfolio. If you have any tips or constructive criticism please send me a message, or if you wish to set up a photo session!


Fill the frame and with short hair best to show one ear
In this photo there is a space in the photos lower right corner, the fix simply move models left arm out and away from body, the idea you want to build a solid base in which to construct the rest of the pose.
Because you have short hair this might work better if you were to rotate your head a bit [Nose toward photo right]
{Think this would be your best avatar image}




Not a fan of the slanted photos, unless you have a really good reason for using them

The current job, gotta go.  'I have a high passion,,,' get rid of that.  Combine it with the next sentence 'I enjoy travel and frequently,,,'.  It's kinda pointless to write that you did a nude and an underwear shoot, and not have samples.  Post samples, skip the narrative.  You checked 'shoots nudes', don't need to repeat. 
    'It is not great yet,,,' gotta go; 'Through working with a variety of photographers,,, I hope to improve ,,,'
    I like models who express interest and ambition but I agree that starting too many sentences with "I,," is poor form in a profile.   Writing 'At the top of my wishlist is a shoot with,,,' is verbally better than 'I have a passion for aerial hoops,,,'.  I'd rather see a wishlist of pics of what you are interested in shooting.
    Proofread your text, and have someone else proofread it, BEFORE you post multiple lowercase errors, 'i enjoy', 'i can'.   Good Luck

Keep your bio short, simple and to the point. Kind of like mine. No need to write a story book. Half these people don't even bother reading.


Cheers.

I think your bio is refreshing. No BS. Just a frank and honest tone to it.

However, most of your images are posed in feminine posing, which isn't likely to help you, as a male model.