Update: I had surgery in July 2017 and am taking a break from this thread as I recover.

I am still happily reviewing models, so keep leaving those requests!  I'm still working to get into a regular schedule with this, but I try to work on this thread at least a couple times a month and should get to you shortly!

This is something I haven't really seen done, but it's one of the most vital elements you should be aware of with your online presence.

How it works:
Please post without telling me how you're trying to come across or what your goals are. (If you include this or similar info I will skip you, as it will bias my assessment.) I will look at your MM portfolio and bio and tell you how you come across when both are considered. I will not be cruel, but I will be honest. If your bio makes you sound like a diva, I will tell you. The same if your portfolio doesn't live up to your bio's claims. In addition, if you have enough work up on here I will tell you if I perceive a certain style that you appear to shoot more of, a specialty you appear to have, etc. This will allow you to evaluate whether you are actually marketing yourself the way you want to be, and create a plan to shift to your desired branding if needed.

This offer is for models only, and I'm happy to critique models of any experience and skill set. I intend for this to be a long running thread that I will work on at least once a month, so please feel free to post even if there's a long line. I'll do my best to stay current.

What makes me qualified to offer this critique?
I have 6 years of experience as a freelance model, much of that time as a traveling model. I have numerous publications under my belt, including Vogue Italia, Heavy Metal Magazine, and Playboy TV. My work has also been shown in the Louvre.

In addition, my focus over the last two years has been helping other freelance models grow their careers. I started my business, Empowered Muses, to help freelance nude models who are tired of getting all the wrong gigs gain the confidence they need to attract great clients. I am fiercely committed to helping freelance models of all genres build safe, fun, and profitable careers creating art they love. You can find many of my resources and videos on the Model Mayhem blog.

Why do I care about your bio?
Good question! I answered it in detail further on in the thread - click here to jump to that post.

I spent much of my career pulling apart what is important to a freelance model's success and discovered early on what a valuable tool my bio was. Over the last few years of helping other models in this process I have only become more convinced of its' importance, so much so that I included a training on how to create an effective bio text in my first free teleseminars and just published a free ebook on the topic.

My advice given regarding bio texts is not just personal preference, it comes from just as much research and experience as my advice regarding portfolios.

Kaileigh wrote:
I'm very curious to hear your thoughts! Thanks, Eleanor

Hi Kaileigh!

Your bio:
Looking at your bio you seem like you would be a pleasure to work with. You definitely exude bubbliness, and come across as earnest and committed to your art. There are three things I would address, however:
-You mention twice (the same line copied, which is offputting) that you're not a professional. What does this mean? I'm assuming that you mean this isn't your full time job, but it somewhat conveys the message that you don't behave professionally or don't take your modeling seriously. I don't know that it would turn away interested photographers, but I'd highly consider rephrasing, especially since you only take paid work.
-I highly recommend to all the models I mentor that they don't use all caps when stating their limits. A simple line is usually sufficient. (ie, "Please note that I don't accept erotic work".) Anyone who would ignore that will ignore the caps, and caps typically come across as aggressive. I don't think you really need them anywhere in your bio, as it stands, other than as the headers for different sections.
-You note that you bring an escort to all shoots. I'm not going to go into my thoughts on the matter, but please be aware that this will limit the paid work you receive.

Your portfolio:
Definitely work on getting images of the new hairstyle asap! It's super cute, but the one image you have cuts off part of your face.

Your first row of images makes you look pretty amateur. If I was considering hiring you after reading your bio and seeing you avatar, that first row would make me reconsider. Beyond that, your portfolio looks pretty solid. You're mostly branded for a lifestyle and swimwear vibe, which can be really good - you have the right look and build for it, and that's a good way to go if you'd like to make money without doing nudes. The only problem is that all your good images appear to be from the same photographer. That makes me question your experience. Have you worked with that few people? Or do you just provide inconsistent results? Please note that this is objective and not what I actually think. But it is what people who are considering hiring you will think.

Right now you look like you're trying to get paid too early. You're beautiful and skilled, but your portfolio doesn't indicate that you should be doing only paid work. Some, sure! But you still need to expand and improve your portfolio.

My advice:
Remove all but the second image in your top row. Maybe keep the first to show the new hairstyle until you have a better shot of it. Work more with the photographer who shot most of your images to expand the looks you have and get good shots of the new hairstyle, and seek out some other good local photographers to trade with so your portfolio is diverse.  Keep branding yourself for lifestyle and swimwear looks - they're perfect for you, and I think you could go far. Tweak your bio to be a little more on point and professional, and definitely stop telling people that you aren't professional! If you want to get paid you need to be, even if it's not your full time job. I recommend finding popular models who work in the genres you'd like to do and studying how they set up their profiles.

I hope this helps!

Rylan Sper wrote:
I'm curious. I know the pics in my port need a bit of an update, but otherwise

Hi Rylan! Your portfolio is lovely, but there's a huge disconnect in branding between your portfolio and your bio.

Your bio reads as if you're trying to come across bubbly and fresh, which would be fine except it causes a strange schism when you go back and forth between professional (well arranged pertinent information) and bubbly (unneeded random facts and the way you worded your desire to pose with a snake).

The list of random facts is often a marker of a newbie. Having it right up top makes me wonder if you know what you're doing, and the way it reads makes me feel like you're not serious about this and might be easily distracted. Almost all of the rest of your bio is fine - you cover needed info and seem professional. The note about smiling is a little weird - I'd rephrase it to say something like "My personal artistic drive runs more towards the serious. As such I may not be a good fit for projects requiring bubbly, happy faces." Or you could omit that altogether and let them find that out when they visit their portfolio. Altogether, your bio left me a little confused as to how experienced and professional you are. I mostly felt like it was a branding problem more than an actual lack of experience, but I had no clue what I'd find when I opened your portfolio.

And boy was I surprised! Overall, you have a much more solid and cohesive portfolio that your bio text suggests. It shows a decent range and a solid skillset, and the photography itself is for the most part good quality. I'd start fine tuning your bio text to make it match the polished and professional model you appear to be in your images. If you're worried about coming across as too intense and driving photographers away, a simple line added to your current about me (sans the random facts) will suffice. Maybe something like 'while I appear quite serious and intense in my images, please rest assured that I bring a cheerful attitude and creative drive to every shoot'.

Layla_B wrote:
Hi Eleanor,
I would love to know what you think
Thankyou!

Hi Layla - I love your avatar!

Your bio text is great. It tells us pretty much all we need to know and makes you seem very receptive to inquiries. The frequent use of collaboration combined with the tone definitely indicate to me that you're here to trade and not seeking paid work. If that's true, you're perfect, don't change a thing! If you are interested in receiving payment you might want to think about changing it up a little.

Your portfolio tells me firstly that you dance, secondly that you're into highly conceptual and creative work, and thirdly that you have a wide range you can work in, in terms of posing and facial expression.

I'd think you were entirely a hobbyist looking for collaborations from your portfolio and bio text combined if I hadn't noticed that you have a website which portrays a truly impressive portfolio. I don't know what the market is like over there, but if you were in the US I'd say that you could start getting paid gigs if you wanted to by just changing up your portfolio and bio text a little bit. If that's your goal it's certainly not out of reach. Right now, however, I'm reading you as a lovely and happy model who loves to make art and is totally open to trade, so I wouldn't bother asking for rates.

Eleanor Rose wrote:
Overall, you have a much more solid and cohesive portfolio that your bio text suggests.

Thanks. I have updated

Eleanor Rose wrote:
Hi Layla - I love your avatar!
.........I don't know what the market is like over there, but if you were in the US I'd say that you could start getting paid gigs if you wanted to by just changing up your portfolio and bio text a little bit. If that's your goal it's certainly not out of reach. ....

Thank you so much for taking the time to look at my bio, port & website! I really appreciate it and I'm happy with the outcome
I might consider moving to the US! Just kidding... But the market here.. It's pretty stubborn I guess, people already get flustered if you ask for a travelling compensation.
But I was already thinking about moving from tfp to paid shoots for concepts that involve dancing and don't add to my portfolio. Especially pointshoes are very attractive for photographers apparently . But I want to keep a versatile portfolio instead of an all-dancing portfolio.
Anyways, thank you for the extra confidence boost!

Branditoxicrose wrote:
I would really love to know

Hi Brandi!

To be honest, I'm having a hard time leaving feedback for you. You don't really have yourself branded at all right now - you just look like a typical model hopeful. I know that sounds really harsh, but I don't really have another way to put it. The good news is that you can absolutely change this! It just takes a little bit of work - rewriting your bio text and rebooting your portfolio a bit.

Here are some things you could do to start coming across as more than just another model:
-Go back and rewrite your bio text with a focus on appearing professional and friendly but streamlined. This means taking out any superfluous information, tightening up your grammar, and really looking at how people will react to your info.
-Take the parts about who you are (love modeling, want it as your job, being a mother, and being 5'0") and turn them into one small blurb about who you are and your goal as a model. (ie - Modeling is a way for me to show how beautiful our bodies can be, regardless of societal convention. I was told that I'm too short to model, but it's never held me back! And my tiger stripes have only made me more beautiful. Please note that I am a quiet person, but while I don't talk much I bring a lot of energy to my shoots.)
-Do create a small section about your appearance to address the fact that you took a hiatus and your portfolio does not currently fully reflect your new look. I invite you to take a look at my bio to see how I organize my different sections.
-Remove the photos from your bio, they make people move on rather than read your info. If you absolutely have to have them, upload them to your MM port and hide them, then use the 'MM forum code' button to add them to your bio at a reasonable size, and post them at the bottom so that all your info is still readily available.
-Remove the first two statements at the top of your bio - you come across as demanding right off the bat, and that's not good. If that's your policy that's reasonable, but you don't need it publicly posted. You can just as easily tell the folks who don't fit the bill when they message you.
-You state in one place that you're mainly looking for trade work, and in another that you're mainly looking to be paid. Have one consistent section addressing rates and booking info.
-Remove the selfies from your portfolio
-Definitely do some trade work to show your current look and the range you can pull off. Right now your portfolio is dominated by multiple images from two different looks, when you really only need the best one or two from each look. I'd start by paring down your portfolio to just your strongest images, then add more as you get new work in.

I hope this helps!

Layla_B wrote:

Thank you so much for taking the time to look at my bio, port & website! I really appreciate it and I'm happy with the outcome
I might consider moving to the US! Just kidding... But the market here.. It's pretty stubborn I guess, people already get flustered if you ask for a travelling compensation.
But I was already thinking about moving from tfp to paid shoots for concepts that involve dancing and don't add to my portfolio. Especially pointshoes are very attractive for photographers apparently . But I want to keep a versatile portfolio instead of an all-dancing portfolio.
Anyways, thank you for the extra confidence boost!

I'm glad I could help!

Again, I don't know your market, but I feel like it might be worth pointing out that over here there are different layers to the markets. When a new model starts they'll probably be working with photographers who aren't used to paying and will get upset about even covering travel. The trick isn't to get those people to pay, but to learn how to move up into and advertise to the sphere of photographers who DO pay. When you're just entirely entrenched in the realm of trade work it may seem like no one pays, but they're there - you just live in separate worlds because you haven't found a way to boost your visibility and get into their point of view yet. My gut assumption would be that it's probably the same where you are.

Emma Joan wrote:
Please share your thoughts.

Hi Emma! You definitely seem to be branded as a hobbyist. You look approachable and fun to work with, though possibly a bit intimidating to certain photographers (art and psych degree and your other artistic pursuits). The great thing is, though, that if you're just looking to have fun shoots you probably wouldn't want to work with the type who'd get intimidated by that anyway.

In terms of your portfolio, you show a decent range and definitely jump out as a cosplayer, though your commercial looking portraits are great as well.

My only note is that you do have some grammar errors and dropped letters in your bio text, so you might want to clean it up a bit. And if you are looking to branch into potentially doing paid work eventually let me know and I can tell you how to start changing things up so that people won't just assume you're trade only.

Emmie Wong wrote:
Tell me! Thank you

Hi Emmie!

You have a beautiful look and great, precise bio text. You definitely look geared for beauty, fashion, and editorial work, but you also have your portfolio set up in a way that might attract some commercial work as well. My only comments are these:
-First, your stated goal on the site is collaboration. It's beautifully worded, but if you're starting to seek mainly paid gigs consider changing that up a bit.
-Second, you come across as direct and professional, but there's not a whole lot of you in your bio text. This may be a genre thing, or an agency thing (you look like you could have one, but I don't know if you do?), but in my experience it helps to have something that sets you apart a little. I'd usually recommend that freelance models convey a bit of their personality in their MM bio text. In your case, however, your phenomenal look, kickass portfolio, and great professional demeanor could be more than enough. So I'd say just keep an eye on the bios of models you look up to and see what they do, then consider whether or not to rewrite based on that.

Eleanor Rose wrote:
This is something I haven't really seen done, but it's one of the most vital elements you should be aware of with your online presence. Here's what I'm offering:

....

I'm in, and hello!

Jen

Eleanor Rose wrote:

Hi Emmie!

Thank you thank you!! This was exactly what I needed and I'll take your advice and start making those small changes!

Emmie Wong wrote:

Thank you thank you!! This was exactly what I needed and I'll take your advice and start making those small changes!

I'm so glad I could help! Feel free to message me if you have any questions or want me to review the changes you make.

Eleanor Rose wrote:

Hi Emma! You definitely seem to be branded as a hobbyist. You look approachable and fun to work with, though possibly a bit intimidating to certain photographers (art and psych degree and your other artistic pursuits). The great thing is, though, that if you're just looking to have fun shoots you probably wouldn't want to work with the type who'd get intimidated by that anyway.

In terms of your portfolio, you show a decent range and definitely jump out as a cosplayer, though your commercial looking portraits are great as well.

My only note is that you do have some grammar errors and dropped letters in your bio text, so you might want to clean it up a bit. And if you are looking to branch into potentially doing paid work eventually let me know and I can tell you how to start changing things up so that people won't just assume you're trade only.

I'd love to hear any advise you have on changing things up to eventually start accepting paid work.   I will definitely revise my bio for errors.  Thanks all around for the help!

MatureModelMM wrote:
Please do, I would really appreciate your thoughts

Hi there!

I have to admit that this was a bit of a difficult critique for me. Your profile breaks nearly every rule I use to help models market themselves - it's long, has a list of shoot ideas, states that you require an escort, and you say you do this for fun but also prioritize paid work. Normally I would advise you to majorly change it up, but honestly, it looks like it's working for you. Upon reading the several paragraphs of information you have available it is pertinent, not rambling, and I believe those who wish to work with you will take the time to read it.

You have yourself very cohesively branded as a mature and natural nude model, which is a clear niche (and underrepresented, which means more work for you). You state in your bio that you'd like to branch into mild erotic and fetish work, and your portfolio reflects that. You might consider cleaning up your bio a bit and making the pertinent info easier to find if you have to reiterate it a lot in messages, but otherwise I think you're good to go.

The only thing I didn't see that I was left wondering about is whether you're willing to travel, as I'd imagine that there are photographers throughout the country who would like to be able to work with someone in your niche.

Film Noir wrote:
Next!

Your branding definitely needs some work. Your bio is pretty good - concise and to the pint - but it also leaves us wondering what you do as a model. The bit about wanting to be contacted on IG is strange and may lose you gigs, since it indicates you aren't as serious as you could be. IG doesn't allow you to keep track of and organize conversations the way that Model Mayhem and/or email will.

Your portfolio, unfortunately, does not really answer the question of what type of modeling you do. While your bio indicated that you're a professional (with the exception of the IG thing), your portfolio reads as very amateur. I would recommend prioritizing trade with good photographers and improving your portfolio as quickly as possible. If you're not getting much paid work yet I'd get clear on what genres you want to focus on, then revise your bio to indicate that you're interested in trading for good work in those genres but do have rates for projects outside of them. If you're already getting an adequate amount of paid work, leave the compensation section of your bio as is and just work to improve your portfolio. This definitely needs to include getting clear on what genres you want to shoot, as well as getting some more work that shows your body clearly and/or has you looking at the camera.

I hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any questions - I'd be happy to help you figure out what direction you want to go and how you'd like to brand yourself.

Julia A Campbell wrote:
If you have time please examine mine, thank you.

Hi Julia!

So you have a promising portfolio, and your desire to get out there and work your butt off is going to put you ahead of the game. However, you don't have much branding going, and there's not much at all in your bio for photographers to draw from.

What I'd love to see you do is the following:
1. Narrow your portfolio down to the strongest 16 images. That will make it a lot stronger.
2. Rewrite your bio. The goal is to provide a friendly, professional, and concise write up covering how much experience you have and with what specifically, what you're seeking, what your compensation expectations are, and any specifics photographers would need to know - appearance details, pertinent hobbies (yoga, etc.), representation, times available if they're limited, etc...

I highly recommend going through the answers I've given other models on this thread to get an idea of what a bio should and shouldn't include. And if you'd like to repost once you have more of a bio section I'm happy to let you know if you're headed in the right direction.

LauraLuna wrote:
I would like to know, thank you

Hi Laura! You have a lovely look. You don't really have branding going quite yet however. Let's get that fixed!

Your bio text is verbose and indicates that you might be less experienced than other models. Not totally new, but not super experienced yet either. The list of photographer's you've worked with makes me wonder if they're the only ones you've worked with. If there are big names on that list, as in extremely well known, pick one or two and mention specific projects you worked with them on and remove the rest. Otherwise, remove them all. You can give a list of references when asked. The rest of your bio could be tightened up a bit and made more streamlined and easier to read, but for the most part it's fine for now. Remember to keep honing it as you grow as a model!

As for your portfolio, your profile indicates that you consider yourself a vintage model, and your work as a Sweet Coins girl indicates cosplay. However, your portfolio doesn't show a whole lot of either, and it feels a bit all over the place - like right now you're just shooting whatever concepts come up rather than focusing on a specific genre. You have some very nice work, but I'd like to see you take your portfolio to the next level now that it looks like you have a decent number of shoots under your belt. Figure out what genre/s you want to focus on and do some trade work with stellar photographers to get representative work for your portfolio. You can do both vintage work and cosplay, but you'll need to tie them together into a more cohesive portfolio. And keep in mind that your avatar will influence what people will expect from your portfolio. Your current avatar is a lovely headshot and indicates that you could do well with beauty work and portraiture, but it doesn't set you up as a vintage model. With that said, I do think you should keep it for now - it's by far your best choice for an avatar from your current portfolio.

Overall, get clear on what type of work you're looking for as a model, and make sure that your portfolio and avatar show you as a good fit for that style of work and will attract photographers who want to shoot it. (A note for the future - I typically don't recommend using cosplay as an avatar since often well done cosplay images result in you looking quite different than your normal self.)