MatureModelMM wrote:
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Mine is always a work in progress, and I know it's lengthy but that's for a reason.

I'm fine with whatever you need to say about it, right here in this discussion forum. I have my big girl pants on (well, actually they are off in most of my photos).

Hilarious!  Great sense of humor Thanks.

For starters--even though Is said I focus on the words, I would get an avatar that is closer up and more revealing--unless you wish to stay more hidden in the shadows. That's some people's style--so many of my comments are stylistic issues.

Next--you're a brave woman!  I'm amazed that many people, such as yourself, are able to be so open when many are so unable and/or unwilling.

I'm pulling up another computer so I can read on one and write on this one.

First paragraph--great--has date so that we know the info is current as of that date. Discloses relevant info. No need for the double punctuation of period followed by a semicolon. e.g. ".;:"

Also after open parenthesis--no space.

Where is the close parenthesis?

OOPS---I looked at the profile again and see that you're putting out a frownie face--that explains why the punctuation and spacing look off--it depends on what device you view it and how it wraps! So your challenge now is to see if you can get the two component parts of the frownie face to NOT do a bad break and get separated OR use just one symbol and eliminate the problem entirely (hopefully.) MM is not renown for accepting special characters.

Zuul--good disclosure. Also explains what CAM is--not everyone knows that--believe it or not! Then there are always Newbies!

Winners--great that you have dates! How does one get to see the images? Are they clickable? Can you make them clickable?

There is one image that is marked 'MODEL of the DAY"--date unknown to me.

Paragraphs--THANK YOU! LOL  Some people expect readers to wade thru one huge block of text! Amazingly inconsiderate, IMHO.

Having said that, the graf starting "I model strictly..." you might want to divvy up into bite sized chunks.

Limits explained--good.  Mindset explained--good. Know how you think and what you're attempting to accomplish.

Priorities explained--good.

Another paragraphs starting to start with "I"--not bad but may be perceived as a little egocentric. Although this is pretty personal.  I give a hint in next review of how you might handle rewording to avoid so many.

No misspellings noted!  With so much text--that's great!

Allergies disclosed--that's one of the questions I usually ask when I'm using my checklist--you're proactive.  Well done.

"Where you have permission to work"-- ;-) that indicates you have some experience with folk who didn't. Implies experience without explicitly saying so. :-)  It signals that you're not into guerrilla shoots!

Looks like you got all the protocols worked out and spelled out. You know what your boundaries are and you have communicated them clearly...and you will bring an enforcer. :-).

You check references--Excellent--you set a good example! And you let people know up front that's part of your protocol so there should be no surprised on their part! Assuming that they read!

The list of things you wish to shoot is comprehensive and offers specifics, challenges, locations, Possibly punctuation at the end of each?

Can we have more light on the face? 

3 verified credits--good!

Credit Notes: can you make that list clickable?
* All the numbers are correct.

* Although iPhone has no problem parsing the numbers for cut and paste purposes you may want to make include a space between the # symbol and the numbers so that those who might be using a mouse with or without tremors can copy and past just the digits without difficulty. e.g. "MM# 123456."

* The representation is also accurate--those that have their profiles in lower case--you retained and replicated that faithfully--you obviously have an attention to detail!

BTW, are the credits listed in any particular order?

You have a list for inspiration, and poses you you'd like to do! GREAT.  I like to see models have a mind! You most certainly do!

RESPONDING TO POST BELOW about AVATAR recommendation: Middle one. Most reflectivity. You want to catch the viewers' eyes! And I think it has the most chance of doing that!

Recommendation for avatar is a cropped version of https://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/40264909

I don't know if you can unM the current one,
crop it for the avatar in place,
then re M it.
[Don't know if that makes any sense or not--but hope that it does].

If that doesn't work then: may be you can get a cropped version, upload it, then use it as an avatar.

IMAGES: Credited photos https://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/credited/2604644
That's good that you have them--some don't! 
Overall, my impression is that they could be brighter and more closely cropped. But--maybe you seek to have a grey look. IDK.

This is a non trivial task undertaken with many interruptions. This is about as good as it's likely to get.

About 98.9% done now.

FFantastique wrote:
Hilarious!  Great sense of humor Thanks.

For starters--even though Is said I focus on the words, I would get an avatar that is closer up and more revealing--unless you wish to stay more hidden in the shadows. That's some people's style--so many of my comments are stylistic issues.

STANDBY: You have a lot of words in your profile so standby while I read, review, etc.

I'll respond to the avatar choice while you continue your review.  If I were allowed to be naked in my avatar, I would be there in a heartbeat with a tasteful shot. There are only a few shots currently in my portfolio that are even able to be used for an avatar.  I typically rotate among them every so often.

I really like the current one in my grey underwear as it represents the real me quite nicely. The mood is nice, but I'm not planning on keeping it as the avatar permanently. There is something that really appeals to me about it though. Not sure if it says nice girl, sensual, moody, or what, but I plan to get a large print made of this to hang on the wall.



Previously, I used this shot of me standing by a tree, which people seemed to like since it got a lot of comments. It's a tiny bit revealing in that you can see the shadows of my nipples through the camisole,  just as you can through my undershirt in the first shot, which I am OK with.



I have also used this painting, which is one of my all time favorites, and it gets tons of comments as well. Although I'm completely naked you really can't see anything. The photographer who took the photos during the modelling session for the artist also used this as an avatar here on Model Mayhem for many years, which is why I have hesitated to use it.  Do you think I could go back to this one? Which of the three is the strongest for the type of work I do?



I know you are busy so take your time. I will check back later on or tomorrow to see what else you have to say.

Mary Durante Youtt wrote:
Curious as to what you think and always looking to improve.

Mary!

First of all: Thank you for subjecting yourself to this process! LOL.

OK, the website, I don't know if you want that included or not so I'll only strike it a glancing blow, so to speak.
Exhibition--you have a date but no year.  I don't know if that's  next year or is it the  year past or how old that is. If there was a year and I missed it--my apologies.

Which reminds me--our population is aging so a larger font/typestyle, etc. might be in order so that we don't have to figure out how to make it bigger. Size does matter!  I don't perceive that you have so much content that you have to cram it into a smaller font.

The blog was removed? Wonder why.

You did indicate the site was under construction so at least we know to forebear on some items.  We all understand, I hope, transitions and WIP--Work In Process/Progress.

Location--I've noticed some profiles (not yours) omit this information and that's frankly irritating to me. I like to have a clue what country, state, city they are in. If they're in the Witness Protection program then don't be on here!  I know this is basic--but I give you  credit for this.

Dash--it's either two hyphens together (like the 5th and 6th characters on this line) or a single hyphen with leading and trailing space - as here demonstrated. You did it one of the right ways! Kudos. Small things make my day! :-)

"Self-taught"--you could use a hyphen in that to make it clearly a compound adjective.

You are passionate about photography in the first sentence, Then in the second you dig deeper and state an obsession for underwater photography. Very clear transition. The reader has a hard time getting lost. :-)  "Juxtaposition" great word! Obviously you have brains. "It's" contraction for "it is"--also properly used! :-)  More kudos to you!

The avatar--your underwater image has meaning to you. However, the normal viewer, is probably not going to be grabbed by that until they get to know you and your work better! So I suggest it for later and throw something out that is more attention grabbing to the average viewer. e.g.


"Fun"--I like my togs to be fun. Who wants to work with a spoil sport that nit picks every piece of punctuation and argues of spacing?! [self deprecating comment].

"Bump and baby"--cute alliteration. I had to read it a few times to get it but that's OK. Leave as is--Make your reader think a little--that's totally OK--If they don't know, they can ask!   Gives them a reason to contact you!

You also set your boundaries as to what is TF and what isn't so that conversations can start more productively.

Are you looking for models who can cry on command? Just curious. I've never been able to get a model to do so in studio.
[Truth be told, haven't tried very hard.]

As I scan the profile--there are about 4 paragraphs in a row that start with the first person pronoun "I" Hmmm. I'm not suggesting that you switch to "we" unless you're an editor of a publication, monarch of a country, person with tapework or pregnant! ;-) [adapted from Mark Twain].

How to fix? May be "Looking to work with..." doesn't require "I" to be explicitly stated, does it?

You used the term "TF" in one place and then switched to "TFP" later and never explained the terminology for the newbie and what the difference is, if any in your vernacular. Advise that you stick with one or the other, and then at least spell it out the first time like mature model spelled out CAM. Explanation is not necessary, IMHO. However, give the newbie a fighting chance.

After consistency and spelling it out let pick another point--what does TFP stand for? What I'm getting at, are you giving them actual prints? Are they just digital? How are they transferred? On CD or DVD? That's TFCD and TFDVD. Maybe a more appropriate term might be TF*?  That covers it no matter how you transmit the images.  And you're technically correct.

NOTE: yours not mine. "PLEASE DON'T BE OFFENDED." Whoa. I thought you were fun. Now you're shouting at me? What did I do?  I'm cowering in the corner. It's just little ole me. I'm trying to be friendly. :-)  Maybe you had a legitimately bad incident or two with someone(s) badgering to befriend you. Please don't take it out on all of us! May be I'm overreacting. But it's one response from sensitive souls.

Photoshop. It's like "Xerox" "FedEx" etc. Make a Xerox copy is not correct unless it's on an actual Xerox machine. It's a photocopy. FedEx is a legitimate company name and not really a verb like we use it. How do you spell PhotoShop correctly? IDK. Please look it up and use it correctly. [BTW, I'm pretty much like you in that regard--minimal retouching. Comes from a journalistic background that makes retouching anathema.]

You indicated that you do not use THEIR services, so I will decline friend requestS. To be parallel, don't you need to indicate the plural form of request?

Let me go check those links
Both work well.
So now I'm a bit confused because when I'm at the website, and THEN I try to get to the blog I get:
"marywehrhahn.wordpress.com is no longer available.
The authors have deleted this site."

Can you kindly fix that?

Credit Notes:
As in previous critique--can you make them clickable?
I am NOT checking all your numbers like I did the last profile because you can do that yourself BUT I will ask about Pixie Galore--is that one not on MM? If so, would you say so? If on MM--can you tell us the #?  Or no longer on MM? whatever.
Then you have a number with no name. Seems odd.  I did look that up and the two orphans don't go together:-(.
PS Found Pixie's MM: 3245620

Lists:  You have one titled "Striking Poses" but you only have 1 pics in it. This grammatically grates on my nerves (I'm being hyperbolic). You indicate POSES--plural but you only have ONE (1) image listed?  How hard can it be to find it a friend? For crying out loud (I'm joking, I'm not mad or disrespectful, OK?).  You've been on MM for 4+ years and you have just one list to maintain and you can't make it grammatically correct by adding another image. AND MM then compounds it by calling it 1 "pics"--it's not pics plural until it is >1.  Since there is no fractional picture--we're looking for an integer value, like 2--or more!  MM should have put that as "pic(s)" so that they covered themselves legally. [Again, hyperbole].  Contrast this with the size of the list of the young lady who preceded you--she has quadruple digits of images. How hard can this be? OK--I've belabored the point long enough.

Oh no, I haven't!  The sub head above that states "Lists" not "List(s)"--therefore having only one (1) list is also wrong.

HOWEVER, all of that is NOT the users fault--that's MM's BUT the part that the user controls is the name of the list--and what I'm most up in arms about is the fact that you call it "Striking Poses" PLURAL.  If you had just written, "Striking pose" SINGULAR--I probably would have just slid on by! LOL Seriously!

Bottom line on this: you don't have to make MM right by having two lists because they call it "Lists" or adding two images to a list because they say "pics". BUT please be internally consistent when able and if you put one pic--call it "pose" not "poses." [OK I am done with that topic now. 4 paragraphs because of an extraneous "s"! WOW This reviewer is NUTS!].

CREDITS--18--Excellent.

With that many credits and 4 years on MM--how can you with a straight face allege "I am NEW to MM...."? [emphasis added] LOL  This time I'm serious. MM is less than 12 years old and you've been around for 1/3 of it's life time and you have the audacity to to claim you're a newbie? Really? You strain credulity. What does it gain you? We expect reasonable progress in reasonable time (Rohn). Are you trying to lower expectations. [I'm having fun with this and I most certainly understand that there is no animosity or illwill when I thrash about with all this wild accusations! Think of it like play in a dungeon. It's a whipping but it's not with malice.]

[Estimate 99% complete.]

Pauline Yee wrote:
Very interested. Please...

Pauline!

Thank you for the invitation.

Honestly, this is more my style of port. Not right or wrong--just my style.  Clear and crisp images. Well-lit avatar.

Utilized 28 of your 500 shot allowance for VIP? No rush. Just making an observation. Quality counts more than quantity.

Do you not have any credited photos? The option doesn't appear in your profile? Is that because there are none or did you disable that? I don't know how that feature works. My guess that there aren't any but that seems odd for someone of your caliber who has been on MM for almost 3 years to not have any credit photos. If you turned it off, why would you?

You start out the bio with "Hi!" Why not? Sets an informal tone even in a professional setting. OK. It's you!  But may be we can have a double space after that? In other words, a blank horizontal line.

You only have one paragraph---so you can afford to break it into small chunks to make it visual more assimulatable! ;-)
Suggest 3 smaller paragraphs.  Visually more palatable. :-)

Why is the signature block off set? There is no apparent rhyme or reason to have it staggered--we're not sure if that's stylistic or sloppy.  I know that British influence may have influenced your style of formatting but full left justified might be preferred OR at least have them both aligned thusly:

     Looking forward to working with you,

     Pauline

That looks acceptable to me. Looks like you have control over the elements of your text!


Link says "http://www.modelmayhem.com/paulineyee2014"
The instagram ends in 2015. 
Hmmmm. From a branding perspective, I'm starting to get confused.  Why are they not consistent? IDK.
Both years have passed. So now it starts to look dated for no apparent reason.
You joined in 2013--so like using 1776 in USA we know what that means--many of us do.
Then the URL to your website has NO number!  I really am confused. Is the number important to you or not?
Can you drop the number in all cases? If you have to have one--can they be consistent and futuristic rather than retrospective? or if historical--something that makes some sense. You obviously weren't born in 2013 or 2014.
We tend to be sensemaking machines, rightly or wrongly. So try to make it so that the user can make some sense--even if it's a wrong sense--it helps position you as a product/brand in their mind! Make sense?

Your website--works very well! :-)  KUDOS!

MODEL MAYHEM       YOUR WEBSITE
Height: 5' 8"                     same--are you going to have metric equivalents?
Weight: 127 lbs                125 LBS.  Why the 2-lb. variance? I know weight fluctuates but why not be CONSISTENT?
Bust: 36"                           37" I'm no expert--does this vary THAT much?
Waist: 26"                         27" 
Hips: 36"                           37"
Cup: C                              34D?
Dress: 2
Shoe: 9.0                         8.5, 9
Hair color: Black              BLACK--something the same!
Hair Length: Long
Eye Color: Brown            BROWN--another the same!

About 3 elements consistent, and 6 elements some minor discrepancies.

So even if wrong--be consistent. It gives the users some comfort that you're on top of things and in control of your numbers!

COMPENSATION: Any--NOT for you--you do good work and you should not start negotiations with "Any"!

Credits: You worked with Phillip Ritchie! Good for you! He is a most EXCELLENT tog and gentleman! 

Credit notes: is there any order to this list? It's not in alpha order is it? Is it in order of MM#? don't know because there is no MM#. It's not by length of name? Is it by order of shooting? Don't know. It's apparently random with no explanation. We know that they can't all be non MM togs since Phil is on MM. Maybe you can add MM#s and then sequence them in some logical fashion or just say, "in random order."  I would recommend alpha order so someone can quickly scan for themselves or a particular tog if they seek to verify or find a particular one on your list.

Lists--"Beauty wish list" of images not to many, not too few--but also with images of similar caliber to what is in your port and shooting up--may be. IMHO, they're about par. So even if it's on a 'wish list" it's well within your grasp to achieve. It's certainly not 2 standard deviations above your norm! I would capitalize the initial letter as I've illustrated in the quotes. You could capitalize them all without any argument from me as in "Beauty Wish List."

Casting call--shows your active--good!

Friends--didn't mention that before since there was so much else to comment on but it's good  that you have a top 12 out of 711. I guess some people don't use those slots because it may offend someone or another, or they're too lazy or they don't know how, etc.

Despite the length and intensity of the review you do good work and overall it's well packaged and presented! Nothing to be ashamed of.  Some relatively minor tweaks--even though I may have spent a lot of time and column inches, not big deal in the whole scope of things.

[99.5% complete]

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ALL: You were prompt to make me up on the offer. As you can see by the detail and depth, I can't really offer this to everyone as it took me about more than a couple (2) hours per profile. I'm watching these non billable hours--even though this is much more fun!

Interestingly, I've had previous PM communication with all three who have requested review. Might be a contributing factor to why request was made, IDK.

These are worked at about the Pareto Principle--80% thoroughness.  If after you worked on my suggestions or addressed them and would like a second inspection, I'd be more than happy to do another iteration!

Websites were not specifically requested so they were cursorily and tangentially examined.

This model has her credits like I think is most efficient--you can just click on the link and it takes you straight to the MM profile (if it's still active)!  See the "Credit Notes" section in her profile:
https://www.modelmayhem.com/estring

This MM EDU article might explain HOW to do likewise.
https://www.modelmayhem.com/education/u … ofile-page

These reviews are only work sheets and not intended to be public facing like your profiles--so don't expect them to meet the same standards that I expect your profile to!

They are not properly formatted, organized, reviewed, edited, fine tuned, etc. etc. etc.

Having said that you're welcome to provide some feedback as to the usefulness of the critique provided.

What should I emphasize? include? or not?

Tone?

What needs clarification?

BTW, based on what you see my posts I want y'all to rate me on Sheldonness (as in how akin am I to Dr. Sheldon Cooper https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheldon_Cooper of the Big Bang Theory). On a scale from 0-100, how would you rate our similitude (wholistically)? It's a subjective rating and no money is riding on this. Not fishing for anything so be candid. Open to any and all. I'm not trying to change the subject--this is parenthetical but of interest to a colleague of mine so I'm doing some polling of my own. No explanation needed for the number but can be provided if so desired.