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How many times would you get married?
Is once enough, twice or more? Who is a glutton for punishment? This month marks the 10th anniversary and celebration of my divorce. Personally once was enough for me, and I could never imagine having to go through that again, no matter how amazing a person might seem. Touchy subject but let's hear it? Mar 29 17 05:16 pm Link I was married for nearly two decades. I'd stick my face in a blender before I'd get married again. I'm done. Mar 29 17 06:12 pm Link It took my aunt three tries to get it right, but she's been with her third husband now for over twenty years and they seem to be quite happy together. Mar 29 17 06:18 pm Link Once. I found the right person the first time. I couldn't imagine life without her. Mar 29 17 08:05 pm Link As many times as it took. Been married twice at young age. Long, long story. I'm actually looking forward to being married again. Hopefully it'll work out now that I'm a little more mature. Mar 29 17 08:21 pm Link Rather than focus on finding the right person, focus on being the right person! ;-) Mar 29 17 10:55 pm Link Still looking but hoping to find the right one. There is no divorce here in the Philippines. Mar 29 17 11:16 pm Link martin b wrote: eek! L o n d o n F o g wrote: Once, it happened in 1989 and ended in 2002. Mar 30 17 02:48 am Link Married for the second time in January 1983. We're still at it. We get better with each passing day. Mar 30 17 05:15 am Link I think people get soured to the idea of marriage if they've picked the wrong person. I've dated a couple truly nice people but most of my relationships have been a nightmare. Currently I am in a great relationship full of respect, kindness and genuine love. I have firm beliefs about marriage. I think both parties need to be stable financially and emotionally before even considering it. It would be highly unfair to bring a lot of scary debt into a union or be unprepared for life in general. As for your question, there is no limit but I would have to laugh at someone who's been married more than five times. To each their own but hey, figure out what you want, get that and stick with it. Marriage is an extremely strong commitment. It originally meant 'till death do us part, but nowadays with no fault divorce, a woman or man can cheat, be an asshole and get alimony. Not cool. I would prefer to have my student loans paid off before entering such a union. I love the idea of marriage. Conversely, I think I'd self-combust if a man went up to bat for alimony from me. Money has been a thorn in my side for years. I've worked many corporate jobs that sucked balls just to make a proper living. It's weird the stereotypes people have on when you should be married, if you should have kids, etc. If anyone asked me I'd always answer, "Didn't find the right person yet" or "Don't want them". Having kids without being married I frown upon in general but hey to each their own. Getting married? Sure. It's a commitment and you are sharing everything with another human being. Sharing is nice. I never understood how people could strike with such venom when a relationship goes wrong. If there was a proper friendship and love all the way through, you'd want that person to be happy. All these years if someone did me wrong or VERY WRONG, I have absolutely -0- ties with that person (no legal anything, no kids) and I can just 'walk away'. It's beautiful. So is forever. I'd prefer to be married just once. If I was foolish enough to make the wrong choice, I'd try again. I met a divorcée (divorcé) in Memphis.... Mar 30 17 05:33 am Link Eastfist wrote: It's this type of thinking that puzzles me, let's refer to it as the 'LizTaylor Syndrome'. I can understand (to some degree) why people re-marry after a first marriage gone sour, but a 3rd, 4th and beyond is just insane. In the case of Liz and others, I just have to wonder what goes through their minds to go through the same all over again and again! Mar 30 17 05:48 am Link L o n d o n F o g wrote: lol I was think of Liz Taylor too. Mar 30 17 06:20 am Link Hmmmmmm, "would" and "did" don't always seem ta coincide . . .  I'm blissfully married for the third (and last) time . . . SOS Mar 30 17 08:21 am Link I have a friend and an uncle who married for business purposes (i.e. citizenship). Uncle was married five times and seemed every few Thanksgivings I was introduced to his new wife. I was surprised at how many wives of his had a lot of gold and jewelry they brought with them. He told me it was just like changing shoes with them all. For a period after the Vietnam war, he was paid by the feds to provide housing for some of them. He also had a lot of tailor-made clothes by some of them. One even re-roofed his house. Mar 30 17 08:26 am Link Marriage is overrated. There is nothing you can't do by living together than with a piece of paper. Having said that, We got married in 1981 and have no intention of going in a separate way. She is always there for me; I can't ask for more. I am just simple guy with a simple mind and be happy with the one I married long ago.  Mar 30 17 08:42 am Link This is SO true (at least for me!). http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/what … ar-BBz1dVA There are many red flags and green flags in the beginning of relationships that we tune into when advising clients. However, there is ONE word that I hear and know my client has met "the one." What is that magic word? EASY. Yes, easy. Not that kind of easy, but easy as in, "low drama." I hear all sorts of iterations of this: "I never knew a relationship could be so easy. It just works." Mar 30 17 09:15 am Link Jules NYC wrote: Those conflict. Mar 30 17 09:25 am Link C.C. Holdings wrote: I've had many relationships. So what. Mar 30 17 10:18 am Link I married my First wife twice. H.S. Crush. I've been married to my 2nd now for 25+ years. Mar 30 17 10:54 am Link Jules NYC wrote: I forgot to add that I'm open to other perspectives, chill Mar 30 17 11:57 am Link even if marriage isn't this big sacred thing to you, even if you don't want the big party and all the fuss, living together without legally being married is a pain in the ass, especially when you're older and it comes to things like medical issues, death, property and taxes. Theres still a lot of things that are reserved for legal spouse or blood relatives only (and if your partner's got kids from a previous relationship, or a brother/sister who fucking hate you and you didn't get married...good luck when something happens to them, you ain't getting shit) It's also easier to just get married than hear "you've been together for a decade, whats the issue? whens the big day? why not? what are you afraid of, you're PRACTICALLY married anyway just go to the courthouse and get it over with? why wont you commit all the way?" Even for people who've gone through divorce and obviously know that marriage doesnt guarantee "forever", they can still feel insecure about the relationship if someone is unwilling to marry, it can feel like theyre not fully trusted, like the person is trying to keep one foot out the door because someone else screwed them over previously and now you're being punished for it, etc. Marriage, or the lack of, can cause some pretty big messes, possibly larger messes than divorce Mar 30 17 11:59 am Link My wife and I agree that if we bailed on our marriage for any reason, we'd be done with marriage forever, and we'd just go back to living together like before.  Mar 30 17 12:06 pm Link I have been married for 40 years. I made my vows at the alter all those years ago. I am committed to keeping it that way. Mar 30 17 12:37 pm Link C.C. Holdings wrote: If you want people to be open and to 'chill', then don't make sweeping theories on what happened. Mar 30 17 12:44 pm Link Laura UnBound wrote: I always wondered when people truly emotionally invest in a relationship, share finances and such and then they are left with nothing if someone flippantly changes their mind or a tragic life event happens. Mar 30 17 12:48 pm Link Once. I will be married 29 years next month. Our marriage is truly, until death do us part. Heaven forbid, if the Lord should take her from me too early, that will be the end. No one could ever take her place. Mar 30 17 12:49 pm Link How many times would you get married? Zero. Nada. Zilch. Mar 30 17 01:41 pm Link Somewhere in New England. Small town. John and Abigail had been married for more than 50 years. Now Abigail had died and after the funeral one of John's neighbours come over to John's house. John is sitting on a bench on the porch and is smoking his pipe. The neighbour sits down on the bench silently. After a few silent minutes the neighbour says: "Well...John... I think you must be very sad now that Abigail is no longer among us." John remains silent for one or two minutes. Then he says: "No. Actually I never did like her..." (Couldn't resist... ;-] ) Mar 30 17 01:49 pm Link Once. It started long ago and is still going. If something were to happen and I wasn't married... well, marriage takes a lot of work to make a successful go out of having someone around you all the time. We have done that successfully, and we're both devoted and happy. But if she were gone, I don't know that I want someone else around me all that time, and certainly not enough to work for it. But we say this, and then the endocrine system kicks in with the proper stimuli. Humans are inconstant. I rarely believe anyone who says, "Never again," unless they die having lived out that vow. Including myself. Mar 30 17 04:05 pm Link I'm on my 4th marriage and extremely happy. My 3rd wife passed away after 19 years of marriage. I've gotten better at marriage as I got older. The first one lasted about 2 years, and the second one about 6 years. Mar 30 17 04:10 pm Link kickfight wrote: This might be the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Mar 30 17 05:46 pm Link I'm on my third and final marriage Mar 30 17 06:55 pm Link i tried it once. it wasn't for me. mazel tov to those who can make it work. dating is a much more dynamic endeavor. plus, if things go sideways, you can easily pull the cord. my sister and brother in law met in grade school, and have been together for over 40 years, 33 of which have been as husband and wife. i don't necessarily envy them (although i am extremely happy for them), but i certainly doff my cap to their shared commitment. and they--for the most part--are very happy together. maybe they got lucky, but i believe it takes a certain psychological makeup to sustain a relationship for that long. i know that marker isn't in my dna. it's tough to rein in the naturally mercurial.Mar 30 17 09:27 pm Link Jorge Kreimer wrote: Sounds like we need to start a club Mr. J . . . maybe the "3Ms" . . . another question, when someone asks you how long you've been married, are "we" allowed to add up the years in all the marriages, and combine them for a grand total . . . Mar 31 17 08:13 am Link I find it funny the number of divorced people and single people who give advice on marriage. I was married for 3 months at 19, then from 24-27 and finally got married to wife number 3 at 43 years old. We've been married 10 years and are still head over heels in love. What I did different between wife number 2 and my current wife, I looked honestly at my part in all past female relationships...I took a GOOD honest deep look and changed for the better. As a result, I attracted a healthier person. She helps with my photography, isn't a jealous person and even loves to fish and camp. We also are individuals who chose to live together as husband and wife and didn't lose our identities in the relationship. Mar 31 17 03:47 pm Link kickfight wrote: Brian Diaz wrote:
Mar 31 17 03:52 pm Link A Thousand Words wrote: What made you unhappy with the first 3 marriages? Mar 31 17 04:26 pm Link on an evolutionary scale, humans were never meant to be monogamous. we would have never left the savanna if that were the case. while i can appreciate "love" and all it entails, i can also fall in--and out--of love three times a day. once again, the subtle dance between ethos, lagos and pathos somehow locked onto this false morality of monogamy, and partnership. again, i applaud all those who have found true love. especially the one-timers. the rebuy folks have psychological issues. imho, that is. especially if you get to the third round, or beyond. at that point it's the zsa zsa/liz taylor syndrome. i'm a quick study. i knew after the first try that marriage was not for me. Mar 31 17 07:30 pm Link L o n d o n F o g wrote: A Thousand Words wrote: What made you unhappy with the first 3 marriages?[/quote Apr 01 17 01:29 pm Link All Yours Photography wrote: L o n d o n F o g wrote: A Thousand Words wrote: What made you unhappy with the first 3 marriages? Sounded like wife #3 was a keeper. 19 years until parted by death. I like the way he describes the first one, 'lasted about 2 years' lol! Maybe she wasn't fully charged! Apr 01 17 03:10 pm Link |
