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Model
Samsters
Posts: 68
Morgan City, Louisiana, US


At a recent shoot a photographer as the 'balls' to walk up to me and grab one my breasts out of the blue. (I was not even around the setups I was walking away to the dressing room)

I backed away and put my finger up as though I was speaking to a child and said "YOU DO NOT TOUCH!"

I did not think, I just reacted. I really wanted to throw the bastard across his studio. But that would have been an even worse outcome.

The photographer apologized, BUT even afterward it was awkward and the photographer constantly reminded me and my husband (who was also shooting) that he was a guy and that he enjoyed what he was looking at and shooting.

This did not make me feel easy nor that is was very professional from my stand point, so we got what we could and then ended up leaving before we could get all the shots we wanted.

I did speak with this photographer before hand about my limits, so he knew. I am not sure how else I can firmly state you DO NOT EVER touch me, without sounding like a bitch.

The worse part about it all, even though it is over with and I know I should just mark it up to a bad experience, I am still VERY upset about it.
Mar 28 11 08:20 am  Link  Quote 
Model
no onehere
Posts: 99
Müllendorf, Luxembourg, Luxembourg


Wow.

I don't really know much about it, but could you charge him with sexual harassment?
Mar 28 11 08:22 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
K E E L I N G
Posts: 39,773
Peoria, Illinois, US


Lyra Jayne wrote:
Wow.

I don't really know much about it, but could you charge him with sexual harassment?

You probably could, or you could stand up for yourself and handle it they way the OP did.

Mar 28 11 08:30 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FootNote Fotography
Posts: 18,809
Olympia, Washington, US


Moderator Warning!
If you met him on MM please send a CAM with all the pertenant info.

(on my phone sorry for the short reply)
Mar 28 11 08:31 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samsters
Posts: 68
Morgan City, Louisiana, US


I am not sure, that thought did not cross my mind.

But now I can say that it is. I am not sure if I would want to go to those lengths because I am not sure exactly how that works and the photographer is located 6 hours from my present location. So I am really not sure it would be worth my time.
Mar 28 11 08:32 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FootNote Fotography
Posts: 18,809
Olympia, Washington, US


K E E L I N G wrote:

You probably could, or you could stand up for yourself and handle it they way the OP did.

So your saying she should do nothing after the act?

Mar 28 11 08:33 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Tony Lawrence
Posts: 18,966
Chicago, Illinois, US


OP, did you tell your husband?   If you didn't I'd understand it might have
caused some serious problems or a fight.   You did the right thing
although many of the models I know who have slapped him as well.
Report his actions to who ever is in charge.   Now that its past talk to
your husband about if if you didn't.
Mar 28 11 08:33 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samsters
Posts: 68
Morgan City, Louisiana, US


FootNote Fotography


What does CAM mean?

And where do I send this to?
Mar 28 11 08:33 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
K E E L I N G
Posts: 39,773
Peoria, Illinois, US


FootNote Fotography wrote:

So your saying she should do nothing after the act?

She did do something, she stood up for herself and put an end to it.

Mar 28 11 08:35 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ontherocks
Posts: 22,177
Salem, Oregon, US


rather than warning the photographer i think you should have just left straight away. why put up with that kind of behavior? it's a photo shoot, not a threesome. some photographers seem to act as though they've hired an escort.
Mar 28 11 08:35 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
K E E L I N G
Posts: 39,773
Peoria, Illinois, US


Bruce Hart wrote:
rather than warning the photographer i think you should have just left straight away. why put up with that kind of behavior? it's a photo shoot, not a threesome. some photographers seem to act as though they've hired an escort.

She did leave.

Mar 28 11 08:36 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
B Browder Photo
Posts: 14,635
Charleston, South Carolina, US


Tony Lawrence wrote:
OP, did you tell your husband?   If you didn't I'd understand it might have
caused some serious problems or a fight.   You did the right thing
although many of the models I know who have slapped him as well.
Report his actions to who ever is in charge.   Now that its past talk to
your husband about if if you didn't.
Samsters wrote:
The photographer apologized, BUT even afterward it was awkward and the photographer constantly reminded me and my husband (who was also shooting) that he was a guy and that he enjoyed what he was looking at and shooting.

Mar 28 11 08:36 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ontherocks
Posts: 22,177
Salem, Oregon, US


maybe i misread it but it seemed like she stayed for a time after the initial groping. my thought was she should have left immediately upon the initial grope. the horror story threads often start with "the photographer did this bad thing but i stayed and then he did this bad thing but i stayed ..." just leave already. zero tolerance.

K E E L I N G wrote:
She did leave.

Mar 28 11 08:37 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,180
Madison, Wisconsin, US


It seems like you did the most you could at the time. You spoke up and eventually left.

Personally, I wouldn't look into sexual harrassment, but that's just me.
Mar 28 11 08:38 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samsters
Posts: 68
Morgan City, Louisiana, US


My husband was present and very upset. He approached the photographer and did tell him he was out of line and that you never approach a model in a manner like that and that he should have more respect for me.

My husband after this also told the photogragher that certain shoots we had planned were now going to be cancelled.

I did want to slap him, but I have been affraid that if I act as such regardless of what the photographer does to me, that it could reflect on me later possibly.
Mar 28 11 08:39 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
K E E L I N G
Posts: 39,773
Peoria, Illinois, US


Bruce Hart wrote:
maybe i misread it but it seemed like she stayed for a time after the initial groping. my thought was she should have left immediately upon the initial grope.


Could be, she doesn't really say how long she stayed after.. just that she left earlier than she would have because of what happened.

Mar 28 11 08:39 am  Link  Quote 
Model
MoRina
Posts: 5,597
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, US


Is this the same photographer you posted about last week?  The one that wanted to shoot you peeing?
Mar 28 11 08:41 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samsters
Posts: 68
Morgan City, Louisiana, US


We finished the ONE set we were working on and left afterward.

So we stayed probably a grand total of 45 minutes afterward, finishing up two-three more shots after I composed myself again and then due to me being uncomfortable about everything we packed up and left.

We even went as far as to driving the 6 hour drive back home that same day.
Mar 28 11 08:43 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samsters
Posts: 68
Morgan City, Louisiana, US


And no this is a different photographer.
Mar 28 11 08:45 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samsters
Posts: 68
Morgan City, Louisiana, US


And no this is a different photographer.
Mar 28 11 08:45 am  Link  Quote 
Makeup Artist
Chameleon Makeup
Posts: 71
Portland, Oregon, US


Samsters wrote:
FootNote Fotography


What does CAM mean?

And where do I send this to?

CAM means Contact a Moderator.  I'm not sure how much they'll be able to do, unless there's written harassment from him, since they can't really punish people over "he said/she said" quarrels(Can you imagine how many people would be contacting them over flakes, or trying to get more images?).  I've reported other members(in my modeling days) for sending lewd notes, or trying to solicit me.  But with the messages in writing, it's easy to see what happened.

Personally, I think you handled it right.  A lot of times, it's intimidating standing up to someone in a position of power over you(Even if it's just wanting to maintain a polite relationship so you can get your images from the shoot).  I think your way was good.  And his behavior was ABSOLUTELY inappropriate.

Mar 28 11 08:45 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Art of the nude
Posts: 11,780
Olivet, Michigan, US


Samsters wrote:
I did speak with this photographer before hand about my limits, so he knew. I am not sure how else I can firmly state you DO NOT EVER touch me, without sounding like a bitch.

Frankly, I can't imagine a model NEEDING to say "don't randomly grab my breasts" as part of pre shoot planning.  I mean, some things ought to be obvious among rational adults.

Mar 28 11 08:46 am  Link  Quote 
Model
MoRina
Posts: 5,597
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, US


Sounds like you need to do a whole lot more reference checking before you agree to shoot with anyone else.
Mar 28 11 08:47 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samsters
Posts: 68
Morgan City, Louisiana, US


Art of the nude wrote:

Frankly, I can't imagine a model NEEDING to say "don't randomly grab my breasts" as part of pre shoot planning.  I mean, some things ought to be obvious among rational adults.

I agree with you, some things should be obvious. Leave it to the idiots in the world to create a bad name for the rest.

Mar 28 11 08:49 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Duncan Hall
Posts: 3,099
San Francisco, California, US


Samsters wrote:
My husband was present and very upset. He approached the photographer and did tell him he was out of line and that you never approach a model in a manner like that and that he should have more respect for me.

Wait, your husband was there? And that's what he did? Is this guy really big or something?

Mar 28 11 08:50 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FosbreStudios
Posts: 3,607
Medford, New Jersey, US


What about the photos? Are you still going to rely on him to getting them to you?
Mar 28 11 08:50 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ontherocks
Posts: 22,177
Salem, Oregon, US


since when it is ok to ever touch the model? i thought limits had to do with how much would be shown in the images, not touching the model. or is this just something that nude models have to put up with in order to make enough money? you can't even get away with breast groping in a lot of strip clubs.

hopefully you can find yourself a better class of photographer to work with.

Samsters wrote:
I did speak with this photographer before hand about my limits, so he knew. I am not sure how else I can firmly state you DO NOT EVER touch me, without sounding like a bitch.

Mar 28 11 08:51 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,180
Madison, Wisconsin, US


Duncan Hall wrote:

Wait, your husband was there? And that's what he did? Is this guy really big or something?

He was also shooting.

Mar 28 11 08:53 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ontherocks
Posts: 22,177
Salem, Oregon, US


yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first. i hate reading the horror stories in the model forum.

Duncan Hall wrote:
Wait, your husband was there? And that's what he did? Is this guy really big or something?

Mar 28 11 08:53 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Photography by BE
Posts: 5,652
Midland, Texas, US


Bruce Hart wrote:
maybe i misread it but it seemed like she stayed for a time after the initial groping. my thought was she should have left immediately upon the initial grope. the horror story threads often start with "the photographer did this bad thing but i stayed and then he did this bad thing but i stayed ..." just leave already. zero tolerance.
K E E L I N G wrote:
She did leave.
Samsters wrote:
The photographer apologized, BUT even afterward it was awkward and the photographer constantly reminded me and my husband (who was also shooting) that he was a guy and that he enjoyed what he was looking at and shooting.

I am either mis-reading or not understanding this myself.  OP states the photographer "constantly reminded her and husband".   If the photographer was constantly reminding her and the husband, why didn't the husband do something.  What?

....edit.. I see others have already had the same question.

Mar 28 11 08:54 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
K E E L I N G
Posts: 39,773
Peoria, Illinois, US


Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first.


So it's your opinion that reacting with violence is safety first? 

Safety first is diffusing the situation, not escalating it.  Reacting with violence is just caveman chest pounding.

Mar 28 11 08:55 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Art of the nude
Posts: 11,780
Olivet, Michigan, US


Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first.
K E E L I N G wrote:
So it's your opinion that reacting with violence is safety first? 

Safety first is diffusing the situation, not escalating it.  Reacting with violence is just caveman chest pounding.

He doesn't say he'd support punching the guy, just that it wouldn't be a surprise.  And, if you look through the OP's comments, they apparently did stick around for 45 minutes after the incident.  Long enough for the moron to repeatedly attempt to justify himself.

Mar 28 11 08:57 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,180
Madison, Wisconsin, US


Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first. i hate reading the horror stories in the model forum.


I wouldn't want a scene. I'd probably tell him later on and also tell him that I handled it in my own way and we won't be shooting together again.

Mar 28 11 08:58 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Duncan Hall
Posts: 3,099
San Francisco, California, US


Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first. i hate reading the horror stories in the model forum.


I'm not saying he should have hit the guy (fuck that, he should've), but why did the shoot even continue? Especially with the explanation the guy apparently gave ("I'm a man and I liked what I was seeing"). This whole thing sounds weird.

Mar 28 11 08:59 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Wild Side Studios
Posts: 228
Cleveland, Ohio, US


Samsters wrote:
I am not sure, that thought did not cross my mind.

But now I can say that it is. I am not sure if I would want to go to those lengths because I am not sure exactly how that works and the photographer is located 6 hours from my present location. So I am really not sure it would be worth my time.

So if it is not worth your time to file charges, then why is it worth posting here?

Mar 28 11 08:59 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Photography by BE
Posts: 5,652
Midland, Texas, US


Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first.
K E E L I N G wrote:
So it's your opinion that reacting with violence is safety first? 

Safety first is diffusing the situation, not escalating it.  Reacting with violence is just caveman chest pounding.

Agreed, however  the OP states the photographer "constantly reminded them".   How about just packing up and leaving?   From the way the OP stated the events, she kept modeling and hubby kept shooting while the "friendly" photographer kept telling them why he grabbed her.

Mar 28 11 09:01 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samsters
Posts: 68
Morgan City, Louisiana, US


Yes the photographer was a really big guy, but my husband is a talker before pounding type of guy, and he did not hear if the photographer asked me before or if he just approach me. It was not until I went to the dressing room inwhich I told my husband the photographer did not ask. He went back and spoke again to the photogragher.

My husband wanted to leave right away I wanted to try and see if I could get more shots, obviously I only took 2-3 more pictures and then left. Because i could not get focused and I did not feel comfortable around the photographer any longer.

I left the pictures there, and no I am not worried about the photos. I am more worried about respect and getting my point across. I did tell him that since I was not signing a release, he could not use the photos, so therefore he wasted his time regardless.

I do agree that limits should be what is shown or not shown. But for some reason some photographers seem to think that 'touch and no-touch' should be a bases covered as well.

Unfortunately I have worked with some great photographers that have never crossed the line.

This is the second time I have had an issue with photographer. But I still should not have even had ONE.
Mar 28 11 09:01 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
B Browder Photo
Posts: 14,635
Charleston, South Carolina, US


Samsters wrote:
I backed away and put my finger up as though I was speaking to a child and said "YOU DO NOT TOUCH!"

Other than the fact you should have left immediately.  You weren't speaking to a child you were speaking to an adult and you should spoke to him as an adult and told him to keep his fucking hands off you.  Obviously your husband wasn't.

Mar 28 11 09:01 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
K E E L I N G
Posts: 39,773
Peoria, Illinois, US


Art of the nude wrote:
He doesn't say he'd support punching the guy, just that it wouldn't be a surprise.  And, if you look through the OP's comments, they apparently did stick around for 45 minutes after the incident.  Long enough for the moron to repeatedly attempt to justify himself.

I'm pretty sure he was saying the guy deserved a beating......


Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first. i hate reading the horror stories in the model forum.

Mar 28 11 09:02 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Wild Side Studios
Posts: 228
Cleveland, Ohio, US


Samsters wrote:
My husband was present and very upset. He approached the photographer and did tell him he was out of line and that you never approach a model in a manner like that and that he should have more respect for me.

My husband after this also told the photogragher that certain shoots we had planned were now going to be cancelled.

I did want to slap him, but I have been affraid that if I act as such regardless of what the photographer does to me, that it could reflect on me later possibly.

Am I still missing something...this guy randomly grabbed your boob and your husband only says that he is "out of line"?

Mar 28 11 09:02 am  Link  Quote 
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