Did a good job and definitely your best in your port.
Few things you might consider
- ears, if it were a cosmetic ad beauty shot you'd probably get the request to slightly
- hair could use some work (but it's a bit strange crop considering what they did with the hairstyling..)
- Would dodge a bit to get rid of some harsh shadows and then also for some shaping/carving.
- I'd either go for your toned version with a colored background or remove the toning for more natural skintones and a white bg