A year older than my mother ever will be. She died at age 49 (I removed her from life support after her having 2 major heart attacks an hour apart)...she had a troubling childhood that resulted in her demons destroying her in the most horrible ways.
But as much as she was tortured, she gave me life and protected me, shielded me as much as possible.
Possibly far too much at times.
She died on her 49th birthday. I was barely 18 when I signed the papers.
Years later...I sit here. 50. Alive. Not a chronic alcoholic and smoker as she was.
Her demons died when I buried her for the most part.
May she rest in peace.
But today, it feels odd. Odd to be at an age that my mother will never see.
But, while it feels odd on that level...I acknowledge and appreciate my life as it is now.
I have a wonderful marriage to a wonderful soldier (currrently back in Afghanistan for another year).
My daughters are grown and on their own.
I have been blessed with the good fortune of enjoying 2 wonderful and fullfilling careers (first as a Victim Advocate and second, a photographer).
I can truly say I am happy and at peace with how my life has turned out so far...
My father died at 49 (heavy smoker). I remember when I turned 50 (and every year since), it makes me feel that I'm lucky and kind of 'living on borrowed time'. So it's like 'free years' in a way.
John Allan wrote: My father died at 49 (heavy smoker). I remember when I turned 50 (and every year since), it makes me feel that I'm lucky and kind of 'living on borrowed time'. So it's like 'free years' in a way.
Yeah...yeah I think you just described it right John.
David Gaar wrote: Hit 50 myself this past Thursday, so understand the reflective mood quite well. In any event, Happy Birthday. Onward through this next 1/2 century!
Absolutely And a belsted happy birthday to you too as well!
Happy birthday. The best parts of life are just beginning really they are. Your old enough to have the wisdom that comes with age and young enough to say screw wisdom and have some wicked fun.
Bill Bates wrote: Happy birthday. The best parts of life are just beginning really they are. Your old enough to have the wisdom that comes with age and young enough to say screw wisdom and have some wicked fun.
Some parents nightmare are of having to witness burring their children, and it is a crying shame, yours sounds like the reverse.
It feels like she has taught you some good strong values in life, I think you have done her proud.
Crystal Rose Make up wrote: Some parents nightmare are of having to witness burring their children, and it is a crying shame, yours sounds like the reverse.
It feels like she has taught you some good strong values in life, I think you have done her proud.
I'm 50 and fucking fabulous! 
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