login info join!
Forums > Critique > Serious Critique > Does confidence live in your model bio? Search   Reply
first123456last
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Mahonie wrote:
Not sure if you're still doing this, but I would love for you to help me organize mine. smile If you wouldn't mind.

Sure, Mahonie.

First, I'd recommend removing the swimsuit option in your profile. That way when someone runs a query for models who do swimsuit shoots your name won't come up anymore and you won't have to worry about mentioning that in your bio.

Second, I'd suggest abbreviating the explanation of your availability. Right now you have a whole paragraph for why someone needs to schedule you in advance when a sentence or two would probably do. For example, "If you're looking to shoot with me, please give me as much advanced notice as possible so I don't have to say no" (or something like that, I tried to incorporate verbiage you already wrote). It's not horrible to mention you have a kid and transportation limitations, but it's like packing peanuts in a package and you don't want the photographer/agency/whatever to get distracted from the fact you are a beautiful model who happens to need more advanced notice than most.

A final note...if you notice you're getting spammed at your email address it might be because you listed it in your bio. SpamBots love to look for email addresses to target. If that becomes a problem for you, removing it could help. Just a thought. smile

Let me know if you do make any changes, I'd love to read your bio again.

Good luck in all,

Wendy

Sep 07 12 04:47 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
MartaBrixton
Posts: 676
London, England, United Kingdom


I would love to know, I keep changing it, can't decide what to write there... It's quite short.
Sep 07 12 04:55 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Autumn Rose Brightly
Posts: 1,063
Charlotte, North Carolina, US


I would love your input please smile
Sep 09 12 06:06 am  Link  Quote 
Model
HEATHER 19
Posts: 1,107
Boston, Massachusetts, US


I wonder
Sep 13 12 11:13 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Maria Susanti
Posts: 530
Banyuwangi, Jawa Timur, Indonesia


me? =]
Sep 13 12 11:17 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Gina Dee
Posts: 287
BRONX, New York, US


I'm new so help is always appreciated
Sep 13 12 11:18 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Kendra Torino wrote:
I am very interested in hearing your opinion on my biography & portfolio as well. Thank you in advance for your advice!!

Kendra,

I can tell you thought about your bio for awhile, it contains applicable information but feels wordy like one's thoughts usually are smile. The second paragraph about doing implied nudes, etc. is overly complex in my opinion. Try being more specific with your parameters for doing TF work. For example...

"I am more than happy to accept TF shoots if the concept will add ________ to my portfolio." (Fill in the blank with a word or words like, "intrigue" or "irresistible interest" or...something.)

Simplifying how you present yourself will help keep a reader from skimming and actually read your content. I hope this is helpful to you. 

All the best,

Wendy

Oct 16 12 10:51 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Cole Morrison wrote:
i rarely get bio feedback, so please

Cole,

Reading your bio is like having playing cards flicked at me. The info comes in short bursts and doesn't have any particular rhythm to it--which is okay if that's who you are. The tone of your words reads something like, "Hey. If you want me, you know where to find me. I'm bald, hope you don't care. And if you do, whatever. Leave a message after the beep."

You might want to be a tad more welcoming, but remember this is just my opinion.

All the best,

Wendy

Oct 16 12 11:00 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Miroslava Svoboda
Posts: 555
Seattle, Washington, US


I'd love to know.
Oct 16 12 11:06 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


MartaBrixton wrote:
I would love to know, I keep changing it, can't decide what to write there... It's quite short.

Marta,

Short is good, if someone wants the novel they can PM you. smile You know those ads at the top of web pages that people try to ignore so they can skip down to the content they really came for? That's what I found myself doing over your video notice. You might want o move those to your credits section of your profile, that way your "voice" is the first thing a reader hears.

One more suggestion is o take out your model interests. Those are already in the column to the left.

I hope this is helpful.

Wendy

Oct 16 12 11:08 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Autumn Rose Brightly wrote:
I would love your input please smile

Autumn,

I like how bright your bio is (that is not a pun), it's simple and your reason for being a model is clear. Personally I don't like a checklist when contacting a model but you are the master of your own standards.

Good luck in all,

Wendy

Oct 16 12 11:12 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


HEATHER 18 wrote:
I wonder

Heather,

Great avatar. I don't get a lot of substance from your bio as its written. With the kind of work you've done and the enormous list of creds, your bio should pop!

Consider something like...

"I am an experienced model who would live on the runway if they let me. Since I model clothes I don't do nudes, full or implied. If you are interested in working with me, please contact me for my rates. "

Simple, clear, professional. I hope this is helpful.

All the best,

Wendy

Oct 16 12 11:23 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Maria Susanti wrote:
me? =]

Maria,

Hi there. Your bio feels a little soft and doesn't tell me anything I can't already gather from your MM profile (name, country, have a nice day, etc.). It would be nice to know what you hope to do here on MM. Do you want to get famous? Network with photographers? Are you a hobbyist or are you in this to make so much money that you can swim in it? (I'm being overly dramatic here to get you thinking. Who wants to dive into a pool of cash that who knows how many grimy hands have touched? Gross...)

I hope this is helpful.

Wendy

Oct 16 12 11:32 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Gina Redd wrote:
I'm new so help is always appreciated

Gina,

I like your honesty about being shy--nice touch. My only recommendations are to consider taking out the p.s. at the bottom (it feels like an acceptance speech) and to reword the sentence "Hit me up for paid work"--I know you don't mean it this way, but that sentence taken literally would mean " hit me up for work you want to be paid for".

Does that make sense? I hope this is helpful.

Wendy

Oct 16 12 11:37 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Eden Macieira wrote:
I'd love to know.

Eden,

Beautiful name. Your bio is informative but it might be easier to get into with an introduction, like...

"I'm here specifically to add commercial and lifestyle photos as well as beauty and head shots to my portfolio. However, I would also love to participate in other interesting project that you think I might be a good fit for."

It's like a handshake before handing out a business card. smile

Good luck in all,

Wendy

Oct 16 12 11:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Katia A Zakarian
Posts: 1
Montreal, Quebec, Canada


give me your opinion about mine i'm curious wink
Oct 17 12 12:00 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Miroslava Svoboda
Posts: 555
Seattle, Washington, US


Perceptive Portraits wrote:

Eden,

Beautiful name. Your bio is informative but it might be easier to get into with an introduction, like...

"I'm here specifically to add commercial and lifestyle photos as well as beauty and head shots to my portfolio. However, I would also love to participate in other interesting project that you think I might be a good fit for."

It's like a handshake before handing out a business card. smile

Good luck in all,

Wendy

Thank you Wendy smile I'll make some changes.

Oct 17 12 12:12 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Katia A Zakarian wrote:
give me your opinion about mine i'm curious wink

Hi Katia,

Your first sentence has me confused. What do you mean "besides my assets"? The more I read the more I found myself blinking with the hope to catch the highlights at random. Your explanation of your discovery that you were interested in modeling doesn't exude a lot of confidence. Using verbiage like "I guess" makes you appear as the opposite of a candidate who is "more comfortable in edgy shoots".

Honestly I don't think it would hurt to remove that second paragraph entirely. Let the photographer (or agency or whomever) decide what your look could be good for on their own. You're a beautiful girl who wants to be seen as edgy--pump up your portfolio with those kinds of images and they'll do all the talking you need.

I hope this is helpful.

All the best,

Wendy

Oct 17 12 09:07 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Danielle Reid
Posts: 3,062
Los Angeles, California, US


Hi Wendy,

I would love your opinion on my profile. I'm still learning things here so any help is much appreciated. Thanks!
Oct 17 12 09:36 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Isabella55
Posts: 152
West Hollywood, California, US


I'd like to know.
Oct 17 12 10:53 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Danielle Kitten wrote:
Hi Wendy,

I would love your opinion on my profile. I'm still learning things here so any help is much appreciated. Thanks!

Danielle,

Welcome to MM! I hope you like the site so far. Your bio is sweet but a little fluffy. I'd take out the first paragraph almost entirely and merge in the second. For example...

"I am an aspiring model who loves horror and I've always wanted to do a shoot that involved that in some creative way. I'm open minded, love trying new things, and enjoy learning from new ideas. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions, helpful advice, or ideas for a shoot. I'd love to hear from you."

Your bio is the almost always the first impression someone gets of you here, and mentioning that you're going to give rambling a try doesn't sound very interesting--even though I'm sure you are!

Good luck!

Wendy

Oct 18 12 03:25 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Isabella55 wrote:
I'd like to know.

Isabella,

Great job putting your goal first, that is important. 

First thing I notice is that you mention that you're not really a model and then jump into a paragraph about how modeling is your job and not a hobby. So...are you or aren't you?

Another thing I noticed is a sentence written in a way you probably didn't mean. "Send me a telegram for rates and availability, they are extremely reasonable." Grammatical translation, "Telegrams are extremely reasonable." Maybe try saying that your rates/availability are reasonable in a different way? smile

One more thing... You might want to remove the sentence, "I promise to be sweet!". It could be taken to mean, "I promise to be sweet [even though I'm normally not]."

I hope these suggestions help. Good luck!

Wendy

Oct 18 12 03:37 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Vicenza
Posts: 5
Upper Marlboro, Maryland, US


I'm very curious.
Oct 18 12 11:37 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Polina PP
Posts: 4
New York, New York, US


Take a look!
Oct 19 12 07:26 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Vicenza wrote:
I'm very curious.

Vicenza,

I just wrote a whole reply about your bio and then when I hit submit it disappeared--lame!

I guess it gives me a chance to evaluate my response. Your bio is okay but it needs a punch of your personality. Instead of starting out with a cliche greeting, maybe you could start with the words, "Modeling is my outlet." and go from there? That phrase seems to be the main theme of your bio and I like that. smile

One more thing which happens to be portfolio-related. Makeup. In several images in your portfolio you are wearing shimmer on your face. Shimmer reflects with flash. If you now you are going to be working with a photographer who uses flash in a studio, avoid wearing shimmer. By comparing those images to the others in there I can tell you are beautiful girl. Those shots of you where your face is glimmering and your skin appears orange...well I think your portfolio could do without those. Just my opinion.

I hope this suggestion is helpful. Good luck in all you do.

Wendy

Oct 20 12 11:57 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Polina PP wrote:
Take a look!

Polina,

Your bio is sincere but needs some more color. Instead of starting off with your name, which is already at the top of the page, maybe you could begin with something like...

"I work in business but creativity is my first love. I am looking to collaborate with talented individuals to gain more experience and develop a prestigious portfolio."

Bio's don't have to be long, you know. In theory you could leave it at that.

Good luck,

Wendy

Oct 21 12 12:12 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Affinity Finch
Posts: 652
Bodmin, England, United Kingdom


I'd like to know what you think smile x
Oct 21 12 01:58 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Jade Honey wrote:
I'd like to know what you think smile x

Hi Jade,

Overall your bio is nice, though I'm not too keen on the flow of the first paragraph. The words are fine but you've strung five sentences together into two. Maybe instead try something like...

"My name is Jade and I'm from Cornwall. I am a new model and want to develop my portfolio into _____________ (fill in the blank). I am a fun loving person and love to be photographed."

If you make any changes, let me know! I like updates. smile

Wendy

Oct 21 12 07:40 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Tiffiney C
Posts: 559
Los Angeles, California, US


I'll take your opinion
Oct 21 12 07:41 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Tiffiney C wrote:
I'll take your opinion

Tiffiney,

A casual reader would likely be turned off by the length of your bio, but since you're not trying to attract the attention of said reader I think it works just fine. One adjustment I'd suggest is clarifying your Travel Requirements section. I had to read it three times before I understood what you were trying to say and even then I felt like I was being guided in circles. :-/

Wendy

Oct 21 12 07:57 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Anyone else out there?
Nov 08 12 09:52 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Bri Delorme
Posts: 16
St Catharines, Ontario, Canada


Press "like" to help me get a spot on the 2013 Unigirl Canada Calendar! "Share" is greatly appreciated :p

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid= … =1&theater
Nov 10 12 02:28 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Lily Darling
Posts: 1,299
Lansing, Michigan, US


I'll have a go smile
Nov 11 12 09:45 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Nikki Richards
Posts: 15
Fresno, California, US


I would like to know! (:
Nov 11 12 06:36 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Lily Darling wrote:
I'll have a go smile

Hi Lily,

Your bio has a lot of charm. smile I do notice a few grammatical errors, though.

im = I'm
i = I
alot = a lot

These are little details that, while we all know what you mean, it's nice to have written properly to increase professionalism.

In your escort portion you write that your escort is your "number one on [your] top". Do you mean on your top friends list?

Those details aside, I still think your bio is cute.

Wendy

Nov 13 12 09:50 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Perceptive Portraits
Posts: 227
North Salt Lake, Utah, US


Nikki Richards wrote:
I would like to know! (:

Nikki,

I like how simple your bio is, I can tell you thought about what you wanted to write. The voice of your writing makes you sound relatable and that's a great trait to have. Are you still moving to Los Angeles or has the move already happened? If so don't forget to take that part out.

I hope you enjoy your new city!

Wendy

Nov 13 12 09:53 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Stephanie Yakir
Posts: 81
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US


If your still doing this my bio is in need of some serious assistance. I would love some constructive criticism. Thanks!
Nov 14 12 01:15 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Brightonn
Posts: 234
New Orleans, Louisiana, US


I'd like some of your well thought out opinions as I'm transitioning to a new region.  The "Swiss Army Knife of Models" intro you mentioned earlier was very catchy.
Nov 15 12 08:28 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Lola Magdalene Scott
Posts: 79
Lexington, Kentucky, US


Always value another opinion. Thanks
Nov 15 12 08:37 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
The Glamour Cartel
Posts: 72
New York, New York, US


confidence can be hubris or bluster. All I care about is her look, her work, and her ability to show up....on time
Nov 15 12 08:43 am  Link  Quote 
first123456last   Search   Reply



main | browse | casting/travel | forums | shout box | help | advertising | contests | share | join the mayhem

more modelmayhem on: | | | edu

©2006-2014 ModelMayhem.com. All Rights Reserved.
MODEL MAYHEM is a registered trademark.
Toggle Worksafe Mode: Off | On
Terms | Privacy | Careers