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Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Chris Rifkin wrote:

Thank you
and in my case I had to deal with a Catholic extremist mother who didn't do a damn thing about it because in her fucked up world it was all part of God's plan,and to fight it would interfere in his plan..Turn the other cheek,let's go talk to the priest about it...

And she also thought any kind of Therapy was also satanic because it interfered with God's plan,when I was "down"(she refused to say the word depressed because it was a medical term)That is what the Priest was for....

Awww... Sorry to hear that you had to go through that...

Our parents will love us but sometimes they really can't help thanks to religion, misunderstanding etc...

Oct 12 12 10:04 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 24,614
Tampa, Florida, US


Kelly Anne-Marie wrote:

When will it change?
When people "of power" do something about things like this!, Kick the bullies ass off MM, Make it were members and/or nonmembers of MM can't download/steal/alter images of other members....lets start there, instead of just starting a forum about what happens when one finally snaps, just a thought. hmm

P.S.   R.I.P. Amanda. sad

hmm

Oct 12 12 10:04 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Skydancer Photos
Posts: 21,926
Santa Cruz, California, US


Holy shit!

I saw this, just posted on her YouTube page.

The funny thing is; This girl is probably wandering back and forth from heaven and hell because jesus and satan are both probably like "You stupid little slut, noone wants you here. Fuck off!"

dermis719 16 seconds ago

ETA... and there's many more like that.

Oct 12 12 10:05 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Skydancer Photos wrote:
Holy shit!

I saw this, just posted on her YouTube page.


WOW.

Oct 12 12 10:06 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Photographic Memory
Posts: 108
Kalamazoo, Michigan, US


Thanks for the links everyone. As someone who has had to deal with depression myself, I know how it's not always easy carrying on every day. It's sad to see someone go because it all jist became too much, especially someone so young sad
Oct 12 12 10:08 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Anyways... I refuse to argue on shoulda coulda's anymore...

This event's inspired me to DO something... Next step is how and what smile
Oct 12 12 10:09 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DarcieK
Posts: 10,874
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada


Skydancer Photos wrote:
Holy shit!

I saw this, just posted on her YouTube page.


ETA... and there's many more like that.

Yeah, it's sad. Someone called me a cunt for standing up for the poor girl. People just http://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-iw5TaUpM1OI/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAABg/oWjr6XtVW8o/s120-c/photo.jpg to get attention.

Oct 12 12 10:09 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DarcieK
Posts: 10,874
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada


Samantha Liana wrote:
Anyways... I refuse to argue on shoulda coulda's anymore...

This event's inspired me to DO something... Next step is how and what smile

Write your MLA, MP, and the school boards in your area. The more people who do, the more they will pay attention to issues such as bullying. It's about time schools cracked down on this, as well as parents. Hell, even pass laws about bullying and hold the parents of the children doing the bullying accountable in some way.

Oct 12 12 10:11 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Nicolette
Posts: 12,698
Midland, Texas, US


Skydancer Photos wrote:
Holy shit!

I saw this, just posted on her YouTube page.


ETA... and there's many more like that.

Some people seriously deserve to get kicked in the fucking teeth.

Oct 12 12 10:11 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Compass Rose Studios
Posts: 15,979
Portland, Oregon, US


Samantha Liana wrote:

I'm vicious because I have symptoms of both disorders... And it doesn't matter if he didn't bring up the disorder because THAT is why her skin was so thin.

I KNOW how it feels, and I communicate with those close to me who don't and it's frustrating and a lonely feeling.

The kids SKIN wasn't thick because she was
A)Young
B)Allegedly alone
C)Severe depression and Anxiety.

Is this arguement for real?

I take a little from column A, a little from column B. 

More needs to be done about bullying.  It's an awful part of childhood. 

When I was in middle school I was jumped by my bully and a high schooler and was beaten and had my nose broke.  In high school I was ostracized by an entire peer group, which was extremely emotionally painful. 

But this world is never going to coddle you.  Quite the opposite.  You'll generally be met with indifference or contempt.  At some point we all have to stand up for ourselves, even if that means simply not repeatedly going back to those groups to try and find validation.  Or turning away from a bad situation.

Saying 'you can't understand' to people who may or may not genuinely understand...but who also simply may not agree with you is not helpful.  If they don't understand, help them through discussion.  Don't blow up at them. 

And keep in mind the possibility that they might understand some or more than some of what you've been through.  And have a different perspective on it. 

I find the whole 'you can't know x or y experience' argument to be a dead end.  Not because it isn't often true.  But because if you really want change hearts and minds in the world help them understand.  And try to understand them. 

People are too often attacked for ignorance instead of educated.   Imo, it simply creates more barriers and helps no one.

Oct 12 12 10:12 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


DarcieK wrote:

Yeah, it's sad. Someone called me a cunt for standing up for the poor girl. People just troll to get attention.

Assuming these are kids that are still doing this...

It's hard to get through to them online, I would just pray and hope they grow to learn what they've done and what they're doing... Grow soon!

Oct 12 12 10:12 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Nicolette
Posts: 12,698
Midland, Texas, US


I agree with everything Compass Rose just posted.
Oct 12 12 10:15 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Nicolette
Posts: 12,698
Midland, Texas, US


Samantha Liana wrote:

Assuming these are kids that are still doing this...

It's hard to get through to them online, I would just pray and hope they grow to learn what they've done and what they're doing... Grow soon!

Until they're forced to see it or are tortured like that themselves... They will not see it.
Willful ignorance, if you will.

Oct 12 12 10:16 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
William Kious
Posts: 8,841
Delphos, Ohio, US


sad

This whole anti-bullying approach puts the emphasis on the wrong problem. Society will never be able to stop bullying. It's hard-wired into human nature. Telling the bullies to stop bullying isn't going to affect any real change. In fact, it encourages a victim mentality. Instead of shoring-up the strength of the individual, we're trying to control the actions of an external force. That rarely works.

I'm not trying to diminish the loss and pain this girl felt, but why did she keep returning to social media and the things that were causing her pain? I'm sure people tried to help her, but she continued to feed the beast. It's entirely possible that the attention and pain became a sort of addiction and she couldn't handle the backlash. Kind of an emotional overdose.

Just a thought...
Oct 12 12 10:18 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
William Kious
Posts: 8,841
Delphos, Ohio, US


Nicolette wrote:
Until they're forced to see it or are tortured like that themselves... They will not see it.
Willful ignorance, if you will.

Some people enjoy inflicting pain. Sadists abound in this world. We can't do anything about that. All we can do is educate where it matters: teach the individual how to better cope with the sadists.

Oct 12 12 10:20 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Compass Rose Studios wrote:

I take a little from column A, a little from column B. 

More needs to be done about bullying.  It's an awful part of childhood. 

When I was in middle school I was jumped by my bully and a high schooler and was beaten and had my nose broke.  In high school I was ostracized by an entire peer group, which was extremely emotionally painful. 

But this world is never going to coddle you.  Quite the opposite.  You'll generally be met with indifference or contempt.  At some point we all have to stand up for ourselves, even if that means simply not repeatedly going back to those groups to try and find validation.  Or turning away from a bad situation.

Saying 'you can't understand' to people who may or may not genuinely understand...but who also simply may not agree with you is not helpful.  If they don't understand, help them through discussion.  Don't blow up at them. 

And keep in mind the possibility that they might understand some or more than some of what you've been through.  And have a different perspective on it. 

I find the whole 'you can't know x or y experience' argument to be a dead end.  Not because it isn't often true.  But because if you really want change hearts and minds in the world help them understand.  And try to understand them. 

People are too often attacked for ignorance instead of educated.   Imo, it simply creates more barriers and helps no one.

In high school I had the biggest oldest girls torment me, I had to avoid being alone outside the school..., even up to TODAY when I see them and that was like 3 years ago... So to hear about kids actually getting physically hurt... So sad.

I get what your saying, educate instead of attack. Always always true. But I'm not one who can educate, at least not on-line. And I don't want to bother trying because it would just frustrate me more and then my anxiety kicks in...

I've spoken to a few people and it's really hard for them to see the POV of those who suffer from these disorders... All I'll say here is, it's easy to pass judgement when you yourself haven't been through it. Or at least had someone educate you seriously on the topic.

Oct 12 12 10:21 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
William Kious
Posts: 8,841
Delphos, Ohio, US


Chris Rifkin wrote:
I hope this cyber asshole gets fucked with some how

And how is this approach any different than bullying?

Oct 12 12 10:22 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Samantha Liana wrote:

In high school I had the biggest oldest girls torment me, I had to avoid being alone outside the school..., even up to TODAY when I see them and that was like 3 years ago... So to hear about kids actually getting physically hurt... So sad.

I get what your saying, educate instead of attack. Always always true. But I'm not one who can educate, at least not on-line. And I don't want to bother trying because it would just frustrate me more and then my anxiety kicks in...

I've spoken to a few people and it's really hard for them to see the POV of those who suffer from these disorders... All I'll say here is, it's easy to pass judgement when you yourself haven't been through it. Or at least had someone educate you seriously on the topic.

On a side note... I completely understand why people don't understand. So I'm not mad at them. Let me add emphasis to that...

I'm not mad at them... I'm only frustrated with myself.

Oct 12 12 10:24 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Nicolette
Posts: 12,698
Midland, Texas, US


William Kious wrote:
Some people enjoy inflicting pain. Sadists abound in this world. We can't do anything about that. All we can do is educate where it matters: teach the individual how to better cope with the sadists.

Some people just aren't wired for that.
How about we just don't be assholes? I think that should be a life lesson.


When I was in school, I got in fights with known bullies on a regular basis. I'd stick up for peers who wouldn't do it for themselves. I told them if they want to be left alone, break that fuckers nose and he won't mess with you again.

As an adult, I understand that doesn't always work. Not everyone is capable of that. So how about instead of passively blaming the victim, we teach our kids to not be little fucking assholes who need to get their asses kicked occasionally? How about we teach them to be decent people?

Wow. What a concept.

Oct 12 12 10:25 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Nicolette
Posts: 12,698
Midland, Texas, US


Samantha Liana wrote:

On a side note... I completely understand why people don't understand. So I'm not mad at them. Let me add emphasis to that...

I'm not mad at them... I'm only frustrated with myself.

Volunteer in your neighborhood. Work with Big Brothers Big Sisters. Be an advocate for the change you want. Do it in person smile

Oct 12 12 10:27 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Compass Rose Studios
Posts: 15,979
Portland, Oregon, US


Samantha Liana wrote:

On a side note... I completely understand why people don't understand. So I'm not mad at them. Let me add emphasis to that...

I'm not mad at them... I'm only frustrated with myself.

Like most things, bullying is a big complicated, multifaceted problem.  And it won't be worked out this week.  Go easy on yourself as well as others.  smile

Oct 12 12 10:28 am  Link  Quote 
Model
JessieLeigh
Posts: 2,040
Las Vegas, Nevada, US


Nicolette wrote:
Work with Big Brothers Big Sisters. Be an advocate for the change you want. Do it in person smile

What a wonderful suggestion! smile

Oct 12 12 10:29 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Nicolette
Posts: 12,698
Midland, Texas, US


JessieLeigh wrote:

What a wonderful suggestion! smile

I volunteered for them a few years back when I was living in Austin. I still have contact with my "little sister" and her family. It's amazing to see what a difference it can make.

Volunteer with those kids. Inspire them. Help them gain confidence and self esteem. Happy, confident kids do NOT bully others.

Oct 12 12 10:32 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
In Balance Photography
Posts: 3,370
Boston, Massachusetts, US


Nicolette wrote:
.... How about we teach them [kids] to be decent people? ....

This is what it's about. The problem becomes when those kids that have not been taught to be decent people are now raising their own kids...

Oct 12 12 10:32 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
William Kious
Posts: 8,841
Delphos, Ohio, US


Nicolette wrote:
How about we just don't be assholes? I think that should be a life lesson.

We can't mandate and dictate how other people feel. Some people in this world are cruel, ignorant shitheads. Again, we cannot change that. There will always be assholes. It will take a fundamental shift in human evolution for that to change (IMHO).

Nicolette wrote:
When I was in school, I got in fights with known bullies on a regular basis. I'd stick up for peers who wouldn't do it for themselves. I told them if they want to be left alone, brewpubs fuckers nose and he won't mess with you again.

I was a wing-man for a lot of the "nerdy" types in school. Hell, I was one, myself. I identified with their values and enjoyed the same things they did. I was lucky to have the physical strength, size and attitude to avoid being fucked with. I payed it forward as often as I could.

Was I emotionally stronger? No. I tolerated a lot of bullying when I was younger, but I just hit a point where I said, "fuck it". I wasn't going to be a doormat.

Nicolette wrote:
As an adult, I understand that doesn't always work. Not everyone is capable of that. So how about instead of passively blaming the victim, we teach our kids to not be little fucking assholes who need to get their asses kicked occasionally? How about we teach them to be decent people?

Kids emulate their parents. They copy what they see. If every adult in this world behaved in a manner consistent with being an adult, bullying would vanish. Instead, we have weak-willed, victim-oriented and blame-pushing adults. How can we expect our youth to be any different?

Yes, I'm generalizing, but I see so much of it these days that it makes me sick.

Oct 12 12 10:33 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DarcieK
Posts: 10,874
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada


Oct 12 12 10:34 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Nicolette wrote:

Volunteer in your neighborhood. Work with Big Brothers Big Sisters. Be an advocate for the change you want. Do it in person smile

I like that idea big_smile I'm going to look into it.

Only thing I keep being reminded of... Is being a child, being stupid, ignorant and immature.

Guest speakers coming to our school and speaking to half the school at a time in the auditorium... Us kids would think like this during the whole thing:

"Anyways... Bob is still loser"
"Grown ups are so stupid"
"Blah Blah Blah"

I heard these things and even agreed with some of them. Not listening... I don't know kids don't want to be told what to do. Well SOME kids... I don't know what to do about that... I don't know if they're going to bigger measures these days, and actually sharing real life stories since I was in school but what will it take? Is it possible to stop bullying?

I am going to look into volunteering for this though, that's a promise.

Oct 12 12 10:35 am  Link  Quote 
Model
NicoleNudes
Posts: 3,860
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


sad

My heart goes out to her
Oct 12 12 10:42 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Nicolette
Posts: 12,698
Midland, Texas, US


William, my iPod hates large posts for a reply, so I'm gonna do this here >.<

I was also lucky. I came from an abusive home. It gave me very thick skin. However, I saw others who couldn't handle it and chose to teach some fuckers a lesson. yes, it's a bit hypocritical since in a way I was a bully myself. I bullied the shit out of other bullies. I don't deny that. But someone needed to stick up for those who wouldn't do it themselves.

That said, not all kids emulate their parents. My mother is pretty much pure evil and I chose to be nothing like her at a very young age. My mother is a bully to any she deems weaker in any way.  I chose to fight people like her. 

Teaching kids to not be dicks, to be confident and to take pride in themselves is the key. Again, happy, confident kids don't pick on others. Insecure little fuckwads do.

Yes, some people are just cruel. Some are just like causing pain via bullying.  They're  typically insecure, unhappy people who want everyone to be as miserable as them. Saying that "shit happens and sometimes people are mean." is passive victim blaming. It's telling the victim to toughen up and deal with it.

No. Just no. I agree, stick up for yourself. But you shouldn't HAVE to. People shouldn't be fucking dicks. Teach your kids to be decent people, this shit will end.
Oct 12 12 10:42 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jordan Bunniie
Posts: 1,691
Los Angeles, California, US


This poor girl.
Oct 12 12 10:52 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jordan Bunniie
Posts: 1,691
Los Angeles, California, US


AdelaideJohn1967 wrote:
It's quite tragic and sad what happened but if I may take this thread into a controverisal coment or two.

Whatever happened to the attitudes of past generations? Such as?

"stick and stones" and all that. People were much harder then this generation it would seem or such? Why do people today seem so much softer then in my generation? We could handle name calling and a bit of bullying. You learn eventually that if you put the bully in their box they don't ever do it again.

I just don't get why today people react the way they do?

theres a difference between name calling and teasing and what happened here.

Oct 12 12 10:59 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Gianantonio
Posts: 7,989
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US


Kelly Anne-Marie wrote:

It's too late for all that don't you think?, except for the justice of the very pretty girl. smile

But my guess is SHAME is why she didn't speak out. sad

Um, I was talking about when it was happening... 

I mean, if my kid came home beat up or if I found him in a ditch, it would be time to involve a psychologist to help find out what was going on. Her parent(s) must have known part of it as they would need to be involved in school changes. If someone was stalking one of my kids on Facebook, I would have them delete their account and not start another one. I would get the police and/or a lawyer involved.

The story just doesn't add up for me...

Oct 12 12 11:12 am  Link  Quote 
Model
JessieLeigh
Posts: 2,040
Las Vegas, Nevada, US


Hopefully this story can be utilized by parents, to teach their children about the dangers of the internet. Hopefully other young girls will see what happened to this girl and think twice about how they are communicating with strangers.

That's the only silver lining I see in this tragedy. sad

Gianantonio wrote:
I mean, if my kid came home beat up or if I found him in a ditch, it would be time to involve a psychologist to help find out what was going on. Her parent(s) must have known part of it as they would need to be involved in school changes.

She was taking anti-depressants. Doesn't that logically imply that there was a psychologist or therapist involved??

Gianantonio wrote:
If someone was stalking one of my kids on Facebook, I would have them delete their account and not start another one. I would get the police and/or a lawyer involved.

The police were involved, they came to her house at 4 am:

The following Christmas, while on school break, the police arrived at her home at 4 a.m. with the news that her photo had been posted on the Internet. From there, Todd says she slipped into depression, developed anxiety and panic disorder. And then her photo once again showed up on Facebook, this time as the profile picture of one of her alleged tormenters.

The question I have is what, if anything, did those police officers do about the man posting this child's breasts on Facebook.

Oct 12 12 11:15 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Gianantonio
Posts: 7,989
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US


DarcieK wrote:

You can put any picture on FB. It only gets taken down if someone reports it.

Secondly, she was a teenager. She was scared and probably didn't really know what to do.

Right--that's why I was wondering where the parents were in all this.

And if she or a parent reported their daughter's 13-yr old boobs were on a guy's Facebook account, wouldn't that person be banned from Facebook?  And possibly prosecuted for distribution of child porn?

Oct 12 12 11:17 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,209
Madison, Wisconsin, US


JessieLeigh wrote:
The question I have is what, if anything, did those police officers do about the man posting this child's breasts on Facebook.

DING DING.

Yes, thanks officers for showing up at my house at 4 in the morning to tell me about my boob picture. Now, find the fucker and do something about HIM.

Oct 12 12 11:26 am  Link  Quote 
Model
JessieLeigh
Posts: 2,040
Las Vegas, Nevada, US


Gianantonio wrote:
Right--that's why I was wondering where the parents were in all this.

And if she or a parent reported their daughter's 13-yr old boobs were on a guy's Facebook account, wouldn't that person be banned from Facebook?  And possibly prosecuted for distribution of child porn?

Did you read the articles? To me, it seems like the victim here (and likely her parents) were informed by the police that the photos were online.

Personally, if the police came to me and informed me that something like this happened, I'd expect them to do something about it. I was woken up one night by the police knocking on my door because my car had been broken into.. That didn't make it MY responsibility to go track down the person that did it...


I think you are asking questions about the parents that should actually be asked about the police...

Oct 12 12 11:26 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,209
Madison, Wisconsin, US


EVERYONE around Amanda failed her. And it's a god damn shame.
Oct 12 12 11:29 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Phane
Posts: 2,048
Rockville, Maryland, US


Nicolette wrote:

Some people seriously deserve to get kicked in the fucking teeth.

Yes I agree but what?

Oct 12 12 11:32 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Nicolette
Posts: 12,698
Midland, Texas, US


Phane wrote:

Yes I agree but what?

I meant that about the people posting those YouTube comments.

Oct 12 12 11:35 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Phane
Posts: 2,048
Rockville, Maryland, US


Phane wrote:

Nicolette wrote:
Some people seriously deserve to get kicked in the fucking teeth.

Yes I agree you have made some wonderful suggestions

Oct 12 12 11:37 am  Link  Quote 
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