Thanks for taking the time. I may have been too keen to lay out the confining parameters and not put out the positives as well. I have definitely NOT made up my mind yet. If I made up my mind to quit I would just do so ... well, after completing all the shoots I've currently promised, of course.
You don't seem too confident in your abilities.
I have absolutely no doubt that I can become incredibly technically proficient. If you plot out my progress from June to now it is pretty impressive. My progress from 15-years old to now less drastic but not bad. Every shoot I'm either playing with new things (with mixed results) or at least correcting errors from the previous shoot. My post-processing time has dropped dramatically because I'm getting more right in camera. Aesthetically I'm less sure. I can make images I think are good but am painfully aware of the Dunning-Krugar effect. I've not yet made images I've thought were really great in this genre .. but I have done so with animals. I have several images and a couple video clips that I think are pretty great. Maybe nothing once-in-a-lifetime yet but even with my family history I should live another 30 years or so.
You are not satisfied with what you're creating
Nope. But that is not a problem in my mind. I'm ultimately never going to be satisfied with things .. well sometimes temporarily. My sister is the same way, though, and it has driven her to become a very successful professional cellist.
Nowhere in there was anything mentioned about improving your craft.
Sorry. I take that as a given. I think I did mention stepping up my game in there somewhere near the top. In a first draft I mentioned something about improving skills but it must have gotten edited out on a read-through.
Nowhere was there any indication that you even enjoy photography.
I also sort of take that as a given if I'm here. Photography is an awfully hard thing to be doing if you don't enjoy it. That being said, while I do enjoy photography in general, I am somewhat undecided on this particular genre. If I have a good shoot or if I'm prepping for an interesting shoot it is about the most fun I can imagine. When I hit the lack of meaningful feedback or wade through another round of poor communication on here then that can diminish things slightly. It is, however, about the only thing that has been constant in my adult life. I've gone through several shifts but I've bee shooting something the whole time.
Everyone wants results but are you willing to put in the work?
I have a hard time doing things for their own benefit and quickly get bored with anything constant. If I don't think I can get past where I am now then I'll stop now rather than continuing. But that is also part of why photography/videography is so interesting to me. There IS a corner to round. There IS always something over the horizon. Just not sure if I'm in a position to go there. I'm not going to sacrifice the couple things I've gotten right in life (wife, property) to be able to make a living taking pictures. If I can have both then that is ideal.
If you're not passionate about what you do, no one else will be.
True. But that does not go the other way. My being passionate doesn't guarantee that others will catch on. Many people go into life with passion and end up in the gutter.
Maybe you'd be better with people if you were better to yourself?
It is actually the other way around. I have a disorder that makes it very hard to relate to others. Given the resulting lack of feedback from external sources it makes it very hard for me to form any sort of self-image. This is one of the reasons I've posted on here. I don't have a circle of friends and acquaintances I can trust for honest feedback. My wife is supportive and gives me good feedback (positive and negative) but that is a single point.