login info join!
Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > Young and single Moms Search   Reply
first23456last
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,618
New York, New York, US


T wrote:
If for some reason my parents had to raise my kid I couldn't think of a better home and environment.

Good.

That's why we trust our parents or have God-parents if you are ill, die or are incapable of raising your child.

Nov 13 12 10:25 am  Link  Quote 
Makeup Artist
T
Posts: 53,557
Washington, District of Columbia, US


Jules NYC wrote:

Obviously.

It's just a shit thing to do to have a kid grow up with worrying about food/shelter, period.

Not fair to the child/children.

Whether it's fair or not isn't the point. It's the reality we all live in. Now, we as a society can help support these babies or throw them aside. I prefer to give my 2 cent. I view the baby as innocent and not to be further punished by society.

Nov 13 12 10:26 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,618
New York, New York, US


T wrote:

Whether it's fair or not isn't the point. It's the reality we all live in. Now, we as a society can help support these babies or throw them aside. I prefer to give my 2 cent. I view the baby as innocent and not to be further punished by society.

Of course babies/children are innocent.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index … 432AA6taD7

Nov 13 12 10:27 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Model Sarah
Posts: 38,736
Columbus, Ohio, US


Little Queenie wrote:
Birth control is easily accessible in the US. Planned Parenthood gives it away for free. Some schools provide access to condoms. The problem is that sec is still treated as being so taboo in American households. Kids see it in movies, on TV and hear about it constantly in music but parents can't even bring themselves to have open and honest conversations about sex.

Planned Parenthood does not give birth control away for free. I still have no idea why anyone thinks this is true. It isnt.

Nov 13 12 10:47 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Little Queenie
Posts: 6,213
Indio, California, US


Model Sarah wrote:

Planned Parenthood does not give birth control away for free. I still have no idea why anyone thinks this is true. It isnt.

Um...that's where I used to get my birth control for free...you can go in and ask for condone and they give it to you.

Nov 13 12 10:50 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Model Sarah
Posts: 38,736
Columbus, Ohio, US


Little Queenie wrote:

Um...that's where I used to get my birth control for free...you can go in and ask for condone and they give it to you.

They give to you at a discount depending on your income and you have to schedule an exam first. Which can cost up to $250, again depending on your income.

Nov 13 12 10:51 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Little Queenie
Posts: 6,213
Indio, California, US


Model Sarah wrote:
They give to you at a discount depending on your income and you have to schedule an exam first. Which can cost up to $250, again depending on your income.

And when your a teenager, you don't have a substantial income that would disqualify you from assistance.

Edit: I believe you have to make less than $22,000 a year in most states to qualify.

Edit 2: and some PP's disregard all qualifications necessary in regards to teens needing contraception.

Nov 13 12 10:53 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Model Sarah
Posts: 38,736
Columbus, Ohio, US


Little Queenie wrote:
And when your a teenager, you don't have a substantial income that would disqualify you from assistance.

Edit: I believe you have to make less than $22,000 a year in most states to qualify.

Yes, and most people that do make less than that are on government assisted medical care. So they already have insurance that covers that. Also, that figure varies by states and the clinic. There is one clinic in my city that has income based appointments and it's a first come first serve basis.

My point being, they arent all the same and vary wildly to what "free" is.

Nov 13 12 10:59 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Christopher Carter
Posts: 7,631
Indianapolis, Indiana, US


Presley ONeil wrote:

YES.

/endofconversation

And how would you go about doing this?

Nov 13 12 11:01 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,618
New York, New York, US


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmY4qpPcSb4

1:06 - 1:13
smile

Pffff

If the drug addicts are not in the right state of mind to have a vasectomy/sterilization performed, how can they be in the right mind to raise and care for another human being if they 'Ooops!' have one? @3:25
Nov 13 12 11:26 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Little Queenie
Posts: 6,213
Indio, California, US


Model Sarah wrote:
Yes, and most people that do make less than that are on government assisted medical care. So they already have insurance that covers that. Also, that figure varies by states and the clinic. There is one clinic in my city that has income based appointments and it's a first come first serve basis.

My point being, they arent all the same and vary wildly to what "free" is.

We aren't talking about working adults. We are talking about teens. I haven't seen one PP that bases the access to free care on a parents income. Most will look the other way if the teen is covered by insurance through their parents and the clinic doesn't accept that insurance.

Nov 13 12 11:26 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,618
New York, New York, US


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gzbDf32Fu30/TSd260xfzCI/AAAAAAAAAEs/wHiD4Pc0vDA/s1600/Pregnancy%2BPrevention%2BDoll%2B62x43_DF.jpg
Nov 13 12 11:32 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Laura UnBound
Posts: 26,999
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


La Lana  wrote:

I guess it's just hard for me to relate to those situations...I had awful periods twice a month when I was young so the doc suggested birth control, and my mom ever had an issue...

The problem I'd have with birth control and not knowing would be some of the side effects...like when I got an IUD...instead of getting a period every month I'd just cramp so bad I'd vomit..EVERY month.  I'd be scared if that was happening to my child and I didn't know why.  There's also some conditions someone may have that shouldn't be intertwined with birth control...if a teen really wants the birth control they may not be totally honest about that stuff.

I'd teach abstinence first, but if that's not in the cards...then I believe people should be realistic, and be open to birth control, and condoms.  Some people are more concerned about protecting their abstinence agenda then they are about actually protecting their kids.

I was the same way (awful periods, intelligent mother who knew that giving me birth control wouldnt MAKE me go have sex) But so many girls I knew werent that lucky. Once I could drive I offered to take them to the clinic so their parents wouldnt know, but they were afraid of them going through their rooms and finding it. Really sad.

Nov 13 12 11:34 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Laura UnBound
Posts: 26,999
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Little Queenie wrote:

And when your a teenager, you don't have a substantial income that would disqualify you from assistance.

Edit: I believe you have to make less than $22,000 a year in most states to qualify.

Edit 2: and some PP's disregard all qualifications necessary in regards to teens needing contraception.

Keyword in all of this is "some"

SOME clinics can afford to be more lenient with their practices because they get more local funding than others.

The PP in Sacramento, CA did most of my stuff for free, with a mandatory "donation" (also known as a BILL) for 25 bucks. Not a big deal.

The PP in Baltimore, MD wanted over 150 dollars for the exact same things.

Both of them also required me to submit a form based on not just myself and my own financials, but also the people I was living with. In CA I was living with my boyfriend, in MD I was living with my mother. Regardless of the fact that neither of them were giving me money, and I made that very clear to the staff that helped me fill out my paperwork, one of them decided that I was SUPPOSED to somehow be getting money from my mother, so I should be able to afford care.

Or the clinic itself was totally broke, which is probable because well, it was in downtown baltimore.

Either way, I had to find somewhere else to go because I couldnt afford 150 dollars per month.


Yes theyll hand out condoms like theyre candy anywhere you go, but STD screenings, birth control pills/patches/shots, pap smears, etc will cost very different amounts depending on where you are.

Nov 13 12 11:40 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Aaron Lewis Photography
Posts: 5,078
Catskill, New York, US


-Nicole- wrote:
Do you know how hard it is to go get a job these days? My best friend's husband had neck surgery a couple months ago and to pick up the slack she searched for a job. Every day she'd fill out an application some place or another. McDonalds, gas stations, malls, no where was exempt. She had a husband to care for and a son to feed. It took her 4 months for someone to even give her a chance. Jobs aren't given out like fucking candy. Before you or anyone else throws the "get a job" card, remember that people are TRYING.

Oh, and
https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/430759_10152276683660061_495732010_n.jpg

I've found this very fitting lately.

I believe that the number of people abusing the system far outweighs the number of people such as your friend who truly need help. The interesting thing is I hear these stories all the time, and I'm not disagreeing that job are difficult to find BUT, every friggin store in the mall has a help wanted sign in the window as does every gas station, quick-mart and so on. So there are jobs out there.

Teh problem is the people in charge of "teh system" can't figure out whos abusing and whos not. So there needs to be more stringent guidlines for a) getting on the system, and b) staying on the system

Whether they are actually hiring anyone is a different story. My wife is a skilled RPG programmer and can't get a job anywhere. So the solution was to open her own dance studio, which she should have done a long time ago.

Nov 13 12 01:57 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Kaley King
Posts: 1,027
Jefferson City, Missouri, US


Laura UnBound wrote:

I was the same way (awful periods, intelligent mother who knew that giving me birth control wouldnt MAKE me go have sex) But so many girls I knew werent that lucky. Once I could drive I offered to take them to the clinic so their parents wouldnt know, but they were afraid of them going through their rooms and finding it. Really sad.

It irritates me that people think that because someone's on birth control they are just going to go out and sleep with every tom, dick and harry.  It was years after I was on birth control that I had sex...and if I wasn't on the birth control the condoms would've sufficed...so that made no diff on my choice.

Nov 13 12 03:18 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Laura UnBound
Posts: 26,999
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


La Lana  wrote:
It irritates me that people think that because someone's on birth control they are just going to go out and sleep with every tom, dick and harry.  It was years after I was on birth control that I had sex...and if I wasn't on the birth control the condoms would've sufficed...so that made no diff on my choice.

Same. I *was* sexually active shortly after being put on bc but I wasnt any more or less active BECAUSE of the pill. I wasnt forgoing condoms because of it. I saw bc as a means to live a normal life, since my periods were so ridiculously debilitating, not as a "I can fuck whoever I want as much as I want when I want how I want because Im SAFE!"

Nov 13 12 04:47 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eridu
Posts: 623
Boston, Massachusetts, US


This pretty much made my decision:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42NkiPSyzsM
Nov 13 12 05:28 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
P I X I E
Posts: 35,267
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


This is a fucking mess.

Shaking my head at some of the responses here...
Nov 13 12 05:35 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Julia Francesca
Posts: 2,357
Maumee, Ohio, US


Connor Photography wrote:
Recently I have encountered lot of teen single mother, why did they bring the child into this world while they are not capable of raising them.  Many of them have razor cut scars all over their arms and legs.   

Birth control is readily available for everyone, why didn't they seek this option.  I understand that many told me that how much they love their kid.  The kid changed their love.   Will they still love their kid when they become a teenager and no longer as cute as when they are 2 and 3 yrs old.  Will they have sufficient means to put them thru school and college?  The cycle continues. 

It is troublesome when so many children growing up in a dysfunctional family.  We, as a whole, will pay for it one way or another.  What should we do?  sad

lol what a cute thread! well, let me start off by explaining a little somethin' somethin' 'bout single mothers. most of us didn't choose to have CHILDREN, per se, we chose to have sex! sometimes we choose to have sex with people who are not cut out to be fathers, which is ironic because most of us are not cut out to be mothers! so weird! only difference is our anatomy dictates that we get pregnant. soooooo we get pregnant! isn't biology amazing? and guess what! instead of abortion or giving up our child for adoption some of us choose to keep our children and raise them as our own! so bizarre that some of us would choose to do that! my word, what a world! and since people aren't puppies, who may be cute and adorable as pups, but stink and are rowdy and huge as adolescents, we continue to love them forever and ever! because we gave birth to them! i know, so weird!!!

and just so you're aware, birth control is NOT readily available to everyone (well, it might be now, i'm not sure, but i've thankfully had it for a good while, as it was offered to me free of charge by welfare years ago). when i was a teen i would have had to jump through many hoops to get bc, and my parents did not approve of me getting it. it's hard to understand things when you haven't gone through a similar experience. feel free to pm me if you have any questions about why single mothers do the things they do! smile

Nov 13 12 05:52 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
-Jen-
Posts: 46,812
Howell, Michigan, US


-Nicole- wrote:
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/dis-gon-b-gud.gif

lmfao

Nov 14 12 06:36 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Jen-
Posts: 46,812
Howell, Michigan, US


Connor Photography wrote:
Recently I have encountered lot of teen single mother, why did they bring the child into this world while they are not capable of raising them.  Many of them have razor cut scars all over their arms and legs.   

Birth control is readily available for everyone, why didn't they seek this option.  I understand that many told me that how much they love their kid.  The kid changed their love.   Will they still love their kid when they become a teenager and no longer as cute as when they are 2 and 3 yrs old.  Will they have sufficient means to put them thru school and college?  The cycle continues. 

It is troublesome when so many children growing up in a dysfunctional family.  We, as a whole, will pay for it one way or another.  What should we do?  sad

Babies are not cute.  Babies are A LOT of work!  Not sleeping, breastfeeding or bottle feeding every couple hours.  Colic, spit up, ear infections.  Having to learn that a 2 minute shower is the best shower you're going to get until the baby goes to bed.  Anything resembling going out and partying is put aside when you have a baby.

Nov 14 12 06:45 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Lisa Andresen
Posts: 8,664
Peoria, Illinois, US


I agree my sister made the choice to have my niece out of wedlock with a jerk. He treats her horrible he is abusive and controlling and they are off and on more than the weather. It drives me nuts that she brought my niece into all that on purpose. Not to mention she can't afford anything she get all her help from link and medical card.

I love my niece and my sister and all I can do now is be here for her when she finally hopefully one day decides to leave him. But what she did and the life she planed for her daughter is something she will have to live with every day.
Nov 14 12 06:48 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eridu
Posts: 623
Boston, Massachusetts, US


Caustic Disco wrote:

lol what a cute thread! well, let me start off by explaining a little somethin' somethin' 'bout single mothers. most of us didn't choose to have CHILDREN, per se, we chose to have sex! sometimes we choose to have sex with people who are not cut out to be fathers, which is ironic because most of us are not cut out to be mothers! so weird! only difference is our anatomy dictates that we get pregnant. soooooo we get pregnant! isn't biology amazing? and guess what! instead of abortion or giving up our child for adoption some of us choose to keep our children and raise them as our own! so bizarre that some of us would choose to do that! my word, what a world! and since people aren't puppies, who may be cute and adorable as pups, but stink and are rowdy and huge as adolescents, we continue to love them forever and ever! because we gave birth to them! i know, so weird!!!

and just so you're aware, birth control is NOT readily available to everyone (well, it might be now, i'm not sure, but i've thankfully had it for a good while, as it was offered to me free of charge by welfare years ago). when i was a teen i would have had to jump through many hoops to get bc, and my parents did not approve of me getting it. it's hard to understand things when you haven't gone through a similar experience. feel free to pm me if you have any questions about why single mothers do the things they do! smile

Glad I could help  pick up the tab for that while I was working 50 hr weeks, taking out loans at 5-8% in order to further my education so I could make more money and, as luck would have it, pay even more taxes in order to cover the check for others.

Wadda Country

Nov 14 12 06:57 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ArtisticPhotography
Posts: 7,699
Buffalo, New York, US


Lisa Andresen wrote:
I agree my sister made the choice to have my niece out of wedlock with a jerk. He treats her horrible he is abusive and controlling and they are off and on more than the weather. It drives me nuts that she brought my niece into all that on purpose. Not to mention she can't afford anything she get all her help from link and medical card.

I love my niece and my sister and all I can do now is be here for her when she finally hopefully one day decides to leave him. But what she did and the life she planed for her daughter is something she will have to live with every day.

Wow, hard to believe you're advocating abortion. Just don't be a terrible jerk and tell the little girl that, ever. That'd be horrible.

I would have thought that you, of all people, would be glad she chose life.

Nov 14 12 07:02 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,180
Madison, Wisconsin, US


Eridu wrote:

Glad I could help  pick up the tab for that while I was working 50 hr weeks, taking out loans at 5-8% in order to further my education so I could make more money and, as luck would have it, pay even more taxes in order to cover the check for others.

Wadda Country

Jesus H Christ, would you rather pick up the tab for birth control or pick up the tab to raise a child.

You people need to make up your minds.

Nov 14 12 07:03 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ArtisticPhotography
Posts: 7,699
Buffalo, New York, US


-Jen- wrote:
Babies are not cute.  Babies are A LOT of work!  Not sleeping, breastfeeding or bottle feeding every couple hours.  Colic, spit up, ear infections.  Having to learn that a 2 minute shower is the best shower you're going to get until the baby goes to bed.  Anything resembling going out and partying is put aside when you have a baby.

Babies are cute as hell. I wish mine were still babies.

Nov 14 12 07:03 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,180
Madison, Wisconsin, US


ArtisticPhotography wrote:

Wow, hard to believe you're advocating abortion. Just don't be a terrible jerk and tell the little girl that, ever. That'd be horrible.

I would have thought that you, of all people, would be glad she chose life.

I didn't see anything in her post about advocating abortion. Maybe wishing her sister was a little more responsible and not with a jerk.

Nov 14 12 07:05 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eridu
Posts: 623
Boston, Massachusetts, US


-Nicole- wrote:

Jesus H Christ, would you rather pick up the tab for birth control or pick up the tab to raise a child.

You people need to make up your minds.

Critical Reading 101 in action again.

Nov 14 12 07:19 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ArtisticPhotography
Posts: 7,699
Buffalo, New York, US


-Nicole- wrote:
I didn't see anything in her post about advocating abortion. Maybe wishing her sister was a little more responsible and not with a jerk.

She doesn't support her sister's choice, which was "my sister made the choice to have my niece out of wedlock". The other big choice would have been to abort her niece. She's a horrible person to talk about her niece like that.

Also, "It drives me nuts that she brought my niece into all that on purpose."

Nov 14 12 07:25 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
B R U N E S C I
Posts: 25,319
Bath, England, United Kingdom


Free birth control and medical care for everybody under 21 would be a start.

As for the cutting issue, I don't really see how that's relevant to a discussion on teenage mothers.




Just my $0.02

Ciao
Stefano

www.stefanobrunesci.com
Nov 14 12 07:32 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,180
Madison, Wisconsin, US


Eridu wrote:
Critical Reading 101 in action again.

Your post came off as sarcastic and facetious.

If you didn't mean it that way, then:
Critical Writing 101 maybe?

Nov 14 12 07:32 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eridu
Posts: 623
Boston, Massachusetts, US


-Nicole- wrote:

Your post came off as sarcastic and facetious.

If you didn't mean it that way, then:
Critical Writing 101 maybe?

Excellent, glad to see the communications-writing courses at B.U. and Emerson didn't go to waste.

Nov 14 12 07:37 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Amadea T
Posts: 3,311
Columbus, Ohio, US


Carlos Occidental wrote:
License to reproduce.

+1

I have (well, had, she ain't 17 any more!) a teenage mom and it was (is, at least the communicating part) a nightmare.

Nov 14 12 07:39 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,180
Madison, Wisconsin, US


Eridu wrote:

Excellent, glad to see the communications-writing courses at B.U. and Emerson didn't go to waste.

So what, exactly, was the point of your snide response to me?

Nov 14 12 07:43 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Le_Demimonde
Posts: 100
Boston, Massachusetts, US


-Nicole- wrote:

So what, exactly, was the point of your snide response to me?

A. You responded to me first (there goes that whole critical readingthing again, huh?)

B. I'm in no mood to engage in some silly cyber arguement wih someone who's I.Q. is only marginally out of the double digits.

Nov 14 12 08:05 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,180
Madison, Wisconsin, US


Le_Demimonde wrote:
A. You responded to me first (there goes that whole critical readingthing again, huh?)

B. I'm in no mood to engage in some silly cyber arguement wih someone who's I.Q. is only marginally out of the double digits.

LOL. Whatever dude. I commented to your shitty response to Caustic Disco  with: "Jesus H Christ, would you rather pick up the tab for birth control or pick up the tab to raise a child.

You people need to make up your minds."

And you insult my reading capacity, which, obviously was spot on.

So, would you rather your tax dollars go to funding birth control or to help raise kids? (Since she mentioned welfare).

Yet you evade my question with personal insults.

Better yet, don't answer. I think you're confused and just lashing out. Go play somewhere else.

Nov 14 12 08:21 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Jen-
Posts: 46,812
Howell, Michigan, US


ArtisticPhotography wrote:

Babies are cute as hell. I wish mine were still babies.

They are only cute when you can give them back and don't have to wake up in the middle of the night with them!

My first two were not that great of sleepers and my oldest was a screamer.
Alli, my youngest was the best baby ever.  I think it had a lot to do with me being by myself, not having anybody to argue with.  She was much more laid back and is still that way now that shes 6. 
I have absolutely NO regrets about having any of my kids. (2 when I was unmarried)
I love them more than anything in the world.  I couldn't imagine my life without them.

Nov 14 12 08:28 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ArtisticPhotography
Posts: 7,699
Buffalo, New York, US


-Jen- wrote:

They are only cute when you can give them back and don't have to wake up in the middle of the night with them!

My first two were not that great of sleepers and my oldest was a screamer.
Alli, my youngest was the best baby ever.  I think it had a lot to do with me being by myself, not having anybody to argue with.  She was much more laid back and is still that way now that shes 6. 
I have absolutely NO regrets about having any of my kids. (2 when I was unmarried)
I love them more than anything in the world.  I couldn't imagine my life without them.

My kids were pretty good. They slept well, ate like pigs, and were seldom sick. My older son is in college and my younger son is a senior in high school. Knock on wood but neither of them have ever missed a day of school.

I think, if anything, they take MORE time and attention when they get older than when they are younger. But they're great kids and I enjoy the heck out of them.

Nov 14 12 08:59 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,180
Madison, Wisconsin, US


ArtisticPhotography wrote:

She doesn't support her sister's choice, which was "my sister made the choice to have my niece out of wedlock". The other big choice would have been to abort her niece. She's a horrible person to talk about her niece like that.

Also, "It drives me nuts that she brought my niece into all that on purpose."

I read it as, knowing Lisa's views, would be to have gotten married then have a child.

Who knows. Maybe she'll come back and shed light on her response for the both of us.

Nov 14 12 09:02 am  Link  Quote 
first23456last   Search   Reply



main | browse | casting/travel | forums | shout box | help | advertising | contests | share | join the mayhem

more modelmayhem on: | | | edu

©2006-2014 ModelMayhem.com. All Rights Reserved.
MODEL MAYHEM is a registered trademark.
Toggle Worksafe Mode: Off | On
Terms | Privacy | Careers