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Model
JacquelineXx
Posts: 231
Valparaiso, Indiana, US


How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.
Nov 14 12 02:43 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
hs photography
Posts: 468
Houston, Texas, US


I understand your dilemma and I'm glad to you're asking for suggestions.  Here on MM, to many, a no response is an answer... "no".  Some of us don't subscribe to that notion and would rather get a definitive answer.  I would suggest saying to the photographer, I am not interested.  If he persists, you don't have to keep responding (in my opinion).  I've heard from some models that by saying no, it starts a war of words, so to speak, mainly from the rejected person.  If that does happen, then a no answer may be the way to go.

Good luck.
Nov 14 12 02:58 am  Link  Quote 
Model
JacquelineXx
Posts: 231
Valparaiso, Indiana, US


hs photography wrote:
I understand your dilemma and I'm glad to you're asking for suggestions.  Here on MM, to many, a no response is an answer... "no".  Some of us don't subscribe to that notion and would rather get a definitive answer.  I would suggest saying to the photographer, I am not interested.  If he persists, you don't have to keep responding (in my opinion).  I've heard from some models that by saying no, it starts a war of words, so to speak, mainly from the rejected person.  If that does happen, then a no answer may be the way to go.

Good luck.

Thanks I might need it. My goal is just to be as respectful as possible and be very kind and all that good stuff. Ugh.

Nov 14 12 03:01 am  Link  Quote 
Model
_ Robyn Elizabeth _
Posts: 436
London, England, United Kingdom


This is something I always struggle with.

I tend to say something vague like, "I'm really sorry I'm very busy at the moment and don't have the time but thanks for your message".  Or in your case if it's the style that you don't like you can say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I'm not interested in your style of photography", although then you always run the risk of them coming back and saying that they do a whole range of styles.

In your specific case if the guy is not giving up, probably best just to send a polite but blunt message saying that you are not interested in working with him.

It's hard but sometimes honesty is the best policy (I know it's a cliche)
Nov 14 12 03:03 am  Link  Quote 
Model
JacquelineXx
Posts: 231
Valparaiso, Indiana, US


_ Robyn Elizabeth _ wrote:
It's hard but sometimes honesty is the best policy (I know it's a cliche)

It's not cliche it's just a PAIN IN THE FRIGGIN BUTT! hahaha

Nov 14 12 03:05 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
CUSH
Posts: 20
Los Angeles, California, US


Be professional, and send him a polite message saying thank you, but you're not interested. By being clear and concise, you don't have to worry about anyone "taking a hint."
Nov 14 12 03:06 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Drew Smith Photography
Posts: 5,209
Nottingham, England, United Kingdom


Be honest and polite and professional:

'Thank you for your interest but I don't believe shooting with you would produce images that would benefit my portfolio.'
Nov 14 12 03:06 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Thomas Sellberg
Posts: 140
Bloomington, Illinois, US


Tell him you are not interested in working with him at this time. Or you could just tell him NO... after that CAM him if he still doesn't get the hint.
Nov 14 12 03:09 am  Link  Quote 
Model
_ Robyn Elizabeth _
Posts: 436
London, England, United Kingdom


Drew Smith Photography wrote:
Be honest and polite and professional:

'Thank you for your interest but I don't believe shooting with you would produce images that would benefit my portfolio.'

It's so hard to do that though as it's basically saying you're not good enough and from a personally point of view, I don't want my replies to discourage people.

I agree it is the right thing to do, but it's finding a way to say that without putting them down that's the hard part.

Nov 14 12 03:13 am  Link  Quote 
Model
IDiivil
Posts: 4,074
Los Angeles, California, US


1. Inform him that you are only shooting for specific projects and jobs at the moment and do not have time.

2. Say you appreciate his art, but it isn't your style. Nothing personal - you just don't think you would be a fitting model for him.

There are other things you can do, but I don't recommend them... they're in the realm of offering really really really high rates that no sane person would ever pay, blocking him, and otherwise. These methods do work, but I've heard mixed reviews from people who practice them saying it tends to sour that photographer to them.

~~~

As an aside, you can be honest without being cruel. You could always say you aren't interested and politely ask for him to not contact you anymore. Clarify it isn't about him - you just feel your creative visions do not mesh and you aren't willing to work around it.
Nov 14 12 03:16 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Drew Smith Photography
Posts: 5,209
Nottingham, England, United Kingdom


_ Robyn Elizabeth _ wrote:

It's so hard to do that though as it's basically saying you're not good enough and from a personally point of view, I don't want my replies to discourage people.

I agree it is the right thing to do, but it's finding a way to say that without putting them down that's the hard part.

But this is what you told me when I begged to work with you! smile

I think in the long run it's better to be 'cruel to be kind'. I think the problem is with photogs that don't want to take no for an answer - basically anything you say will cause 'offense', so why not tell the truth. Then Block them. smile

Nov 14 12 03:16 am  Link  Quote 
Model
_ Robyn Elizabeth _
Posts: 436
London, England, United Kingdom


Drew Smith Photography wrote:
But this is what you told me when I begged to work with you! smile

I think in the long run it's better to be 'cruel to be kind'. I think the problem is with photogs that don't want to take no for an answer - basically anything you say will cause 'offense', so why not tell the truth. Then Block them. smile

Really? But your work is great, I would love to work with you.  Had I gone insane for a day? I guess it does lead to the possibility of confusing genuine lack of time with fob-off excuses.  Hmm, yeah okay, manning up and being honest is the best policy.

Nov 14 12 03:20 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
B R U N E S C I
Posts: 25,319
Bath, England, United Kingdom


"Sorry, but although your work is nice I am really not interested in shooting in this genre at the moment, either for trade or on a paid basis. "

If he keeps sending you messages after that, just delete them without reading them as you have already said everything you need to say.



Just my $0.02

Ciao
Stefano

www.stefanobrunesci.com
Nov 14 12 03:25 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Drew Smith Photography
Posts: 5,209
Nottingham, England, United Kingdom


_ Robyn Elizabeth _ wrote:

Really, but your work is great, I would love to work with you.  I guess it does lead to the possibility of confusing genuine lack of time with fob-off excuses.  Hmm, yeah okay, manning up and being honest is the best policy.

LOL - Robyn, I was joking (hence smiley face).

And thank you for your kind comment. Perhaps we should talk. smile

Nov 14 12 03:27 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
DavidCoward Photography
Posts: 629
Sandy Springs, Georgia, US


You don't want to hurt someone's feelings, and that's understandable. Your first response should be a polite "Your style doesn't really suit me. But thank you for your interest." If he wants to argue about it, then you follow up with "I'm really not interested. Thank you." Now the message is unambiguous. After that, ignore him, CAM him on MM, block his email or his phone number.

I've had models turn me down, and I've turned down some that I didn't think would benefit my portfolio. So far I haven't had any problems.

Best of luck!

DCP
Nov 14 12 03:33 am  Link  Quote 
Model
_ Robyn Elizabeth _
Posts: 436
London, England, United Kingdom


Drew Smith Photography wrote:

LOL - Robyn, I was joking (hence smiley face).

And thank you for your kind comment. Perhaps we should talk. smile

You know I have never been to Nottingham....

Nov 14 12 03:47 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
JonSeneca
Posts: 416
New York, New York, US


Say no thank you, I'm not interested.
Nov 14 12 03:52 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
PTPhotoUT
Posts: 1,961
Salt Lake City, Utah, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
"no" .. no.

It looks like you already know how. adding a "thank you" would make it polite.

Nov 14 12 04:02 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Dark Shadows
Posts: 2,269
Miami, Florida, US


Some guys just can't take no for an answer. Try one of the suggestions above and then block him. If he didn't take the hint from a no response, I doubt he'll go away quietly with a no thank you.
Nov 14 12 04:12 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 16,102
New York, New York, US


-B-R-U-N-E-S-C-I- wrote:
"Sorry, but although your work is nice I am really not interested in shooting in this genre at the moment, either for trade or on a paid basis. "

If he keeps sending you messages after that, just delete them without reading them as you have already said everything you need to say.



Just my $0.02

Ciao
Stefano

www.stefanobrunesci.com

Listen to this man
smile

Nov 14 12 04:19 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
John Malloch Caldwell
Posts: 2,563
Hastings, England, United Kingdom


For me a simple "No thank you" will suffice.
Nov 14 12 04:20 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Rodrigo DD
Posts: 70
Brisbane, Queensland, Australia


JacquelineXx wrote:
[...]I LIKE BEING NICE so,[...].

The nicest thing you can do is tell him "Hi XXX, I am not interested, thanks".

Nov 14 12 04:32 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eridu
Posts: 623
Boston, Massachusetts, US


"Thank you for wanting to shoot with me but, at this time, I am directing myself towards projects that are of a different nature than those in your portfolio."
Nov 14 12 04:35 am  Link  Quote 
Clothing Designer
Chain Reaction
Posts: 529
Grand Rapids, Michigan, US


John Malloch Caldwell wrote:
For me a simple "No thank you" will suffice.

Direct and to the point. Works for me. I'd really rather someone said no than nothing at all.

Nov 14 12 04:45 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Amul La La
Posts: 806
Plymouth, England, United Kingdom


1. You're work doesn't compliment mine, if we can arrive at a similar wavelength, a collaboration might be cool,

(they'll take photo's more suited to you're taste).


2. I'm really busy now with work, collaboration with other photog's for the next 2-3 weeks, 

(in the hope he/she moves on).


3. F*** off, I don't want to work with you how many times do I have to say it,


(This might not go down very well, exercise with caution) wink
Nov 14 12 04:54 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Lovely Day Media
Posts: 4,165
Vineland, New Jersey, US


There are a number of ways to handle this.  All of them can be nice and neat. smile

  If they contact you and you say you're not interested but they persist, you can say:

1. I've already said I'm not interested. I didn't stutter. What part don't you get?

2.  I've already said I'm not interested in this project.  Block their dumb @$$!

3.  Don't say anything ... just click the new "flag a PM" feature link.

4.  Don't say anything ... just block them.

5.  Okay ... I'll shoot this project with you.  Since I'm not interested, you'll have to pay me $1 mil/hour with a 2 hour minimum.  You're buying lunch, too.  smile
Nov 14 12 04:57 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Carlos Occidental
Posts: 10,546
Glendora, California, US


The same way you tell a waiter you don't want an appetizer when they suggest one.
This isn't brain surgery.
Nov 14 12 05:04 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
eekimelphoto
Posts: 869
Longboat Key, Florida, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

When did saying "no" stop being nice? Not answering a message, that's rude. You can toss in a line about his portfolio doesn't reflect anything you have a desire to shoot and wish him the best of luck in his collaboration with other models that share his creative vision.

I'd skip any mention about his grammar, it's not relevant to his creative vision.

Nov 14 12 05:06 am  Link  Quote 
Artist/Painter
MainePaintah
Posts: 1,738
Saco, Maine, US


"Now, don't get butthurt, but your grammar is HORRIBLE, and your photos make me want to vomit, so no, I do not want to work with you ever"
   Thank you, love and kisses,
   JacquelineXx  smile


P.S. Only kidding. Do what all of the above has said!
Nov 14 12 05:16 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
terrysphotocountry
Posts: 4,094
Rochester, New York, US


No reply is a answer. I know I get no reply's from models posting for a photographer. Then I just move on. So don't worry about it!
Nov 14 12 05:26 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Farenell Photography
Posts: 18,022
Albany, New York, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

If you've ALREADY told them your answer, why not just stop communicating w/ them?

Nov 14 12 05:45 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Loki Studio
Posts: 2,974
Royal Oak, Michigan, US


Most reasonable people get the hint when you do not respond to the 1st contact. In cases where I get a 3rd attempt, I then step in with a clear message that I am not interested.
Nov 14 12 05:51 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Brooklyn Bridge Images
Posts: 9,472
Brooklyn, New York, US


This site has a block feature
Use it!!!
Nov 14 12 05:51 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Blue Ash Film Group
Posts: 9,459
Cincinnati, Ohio, US


maybe there should be a "sticky thread" on this subject on MM, as there is another current thread from a photographer asking how to say "no" to a model.

Polite, professional and not vague is the way to go.
Nov 14 12 06:11 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Magee1982
Posts: 129
Chicago, Illinois, US


Flag his messages and block him (like most agreed) unless its me then you should shoot with me ASAP! LOL J/K
Nov 14 12 06:20 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Art of the nude
Posts: 11,868
Olivet, Michigan, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

No thank you.

Or, I'd be interested in shooting on a paid basis, would you like my rates?

Or, in some cases, I'm interested, but not in nude / glamour / railroad tracks / head shots/ whatever.

Nov 14 12 06:22 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Art of the nude
Posts: 11,868
Olivet, Michigan, US


eekimelphoto wrote:
When did saying "no" stop being nice? Not answering a message, that's rude. You can toss in a line about his portfolio doesn't reflect anything you have a desire to shoot and wish him the best of luck in his collaboration with other models that share his creative vision.

I'd skip any mention about his grammar, it's not relevant to his creative vision.

I'd skip the part about his port as well.  If PART of what he does isn't appealing, and the rest is, maybe say what you're OK with shooting, but if nothing is, it doesn't really accomplish much to say so.

Nov 14 12 06:23 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
S W I N S K E Y
Posts: 24,315
Saint Petersburg, Florida, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

geeze, no one ever has a problem telling me they aren't interested...
here's how they do it:
1. they read, then don't respond to the offer.
2. they respond with their rates.
3. they tell me that they are not interested.

http://i.imgur.com/m8TQi.png

Nov 14 12 06:27 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Isis22
Posts: 2,519
Muncie, Indiana, US


JonSeneca wrote:
Say no thank you, I'm not interested.

+1. I don't like to give specifics, there is no need to.

Nov 14 12 06:28 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
testingphotography
Posts: 185
Seattle, Washington, US


It's very nice that you want to be polite and not offend the photographer, however, some of us (guy and photographers) can be a little dense so I agree that the best action is to be pretty direct.
"I don't feel that your style will work with me. Thank for the offer but I am not interested in working with you.  I insist that you stop calling (texting, emailing...) me."

If that doesn't work then you have to block him and IF he is "stalking you" report him to police.
Nov 14 12 06:30 am  Link  Quote 
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