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Model
RocKitt
Posts: 1,917
Norfolk, Virginia, US


ChiMo wrote:
You simply make it about YOUR work and not his.
"Thank you but I'm looking for a different direction for my book at this time."

Something like that. Don't make it about how his work "wouldn't benefit my port".

^ Simple.

Nov 15 12 09:28 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Justin Suyama
Posts: 113
Seattle, Washington, US


Drew Smith Photography wrote:

I like what you did there. Excellent.

But (without going back to the OP) I think the Op was saying how does she get rid of somebody that she'll never shoot with.

Yeah sure, but never say never is my point. I mean, my answer can mean that not for the next 10 years will I shoot with you, but it doesn't say that or cause any butthurt. And you know that photographer might get good or might get connected to someone that you WANT to shoot with and if you were a rude b*tch then it might come back to you. So I just think it's good manners to treat people with equal respect even if you don't consider them equal.

Nov 15 12 09:30 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eclectic
Posts: 275
Toledo, Ohio, US


Thank you for your interest, but I must respectfully decline.
Nov 15 12 09:35 am  Link  Quote 
Model
MelissaAnn
Posts: 3,830
Seattle, Washington, US


All examples that I've actually used:

Thanks for the kind words, I really appreciate it.   

Unfortunately, I don't shoot the style of images seen in your port, so I don't believe a shoot would be beneficial for either of us.

Continued luck with your photography.

Thanks for the kind offer, but I don't shoot that type of content.

Good luck with your project!

Thank you for the kind offer, but I am not interested.

Best of luck with the project.

I received positive responses back from all of these messages, and was thanked for actually responding.  If you keep it simple, make your answer clear, and be polite, most photographers will not be offended, and will actually be thankful that you took the time to answer their inquiry instead of ignoring them.

Nov 15 12 09:41 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
PhotoSeven
Posts: 1,185
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, US


eekimelphoto wrote:

When did saying "no" stop being nice? Not answering a message, that's rude. You can toss in a line about his portfolio doesn't reflect anything you have a desire to shoot and wish him the best of luck in his collaboration with other models that share his creative vision.

I'd skip any mention about his grammar, it's not relevant to his creative vision.

This!

Saying no, isn't rude, provided you don't say it rudely.

Don't make up excuses, because they can only come back with other ideas on how you can shoot.  Just be straight forward and say no thank you.  Done...by not being straight forward you are just allowing this to drag on.

Nov 15 12 09:53 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FiveOne November
Posts: 169
Rochester, New York, US


MelissaAnn  wrote:
I received positive responses back from all of these messages, and was thanked for actually responding.  If you keep it simple, make your answer clear, and be polite, most photographers will not be offended, and will actually be thankful that you took the time to answer their inquiry instead of ignoring them.

I agree - I appreciate when a model responds to an inquiry.  At least half the time, I get no response at all.

Nov 15 12 10:05 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Christopher Hartman
Posts: 53,759
Buena Park, California, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Link this thread to your response to him. big_smile

Nov 15 12 10:13 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Gianna Virginia
Posts: 178
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US


I always get back to anyone who inquires about doing a shoot, regardless of whether I want to work with them or not. I always feel rude if I ignore a message for a shoot inquiry or any message for that matter. Unless its really some total douchebag, who seems like a wackjob.

If your not interested in working with them you can do one of a few things:

A) You can be honest (I dont feel Im suited for your concept)
B) You can lie. (Im booked and will not be available for your suggested times). Which I dont recommend.
C) You can give them the simple brush off (Thanks, Ill let you know)

I think options A and C are best.

If a photog doesnt get the message and keeps sending you messages. You dont have any reason to feel guilty for ignoring them if you already said no. You can even block them, just so you can be at peace.

Good luck
Nov 15 12 10:25 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Frances Jewel
Posts: 9,149
Dayton, Ohio, US


This question alway amuses me, is it really that hard as a grown adult to tell someone no?

"No thank you."

Boom, done.
Nov 15 12 10:31 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FiveOne November
Posts: 169
Rochester, New York, US


Frances Jewel wrote:
This question alway amuses me, is it really that hard as a grown adult to tell someone no?

"No thank you."

Boom, done.

Sage advice from the birthplace of aviation! smile

-Joe

Nov 15 12 10:32 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
SugarSharai photography
Posts: 387
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada


_ Robyn Elizabeth _ wrote:

It's so hard to do that though as it's basically saying you're not good enough and from a personally point of view, I don't want my replies to discourage people.

I agree it is the right thing to do, but it's finding a way to say that without putting them down that's the hard part.

Charge rates....???? smile.turns people away!    And in all respects, with this consideration, its unfair to say you CANNOT WORK WITH THEM, only because it wont benefit you... Obviously they want it to benefit them! Sooo find a way for it to benefit you! Perhaps request for a tear sheet, (if he cant supply, say no can do!).  Ask for your rates! If he needs your look that bad, he can pay!    Or ask for a full team! Just because of experience, contacts/networking, and fun! smile.  This opportunity is rare!

Nov 15 12 10:39 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Patrick Walberg
Posts: 42,461
Salinas, California, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
Thanks I might need it. My goal is just to be as respectful as possible and be very kind and all that good stuff. Ugh.

I can appreciate your desire to be respectful and kind, but when a photographer persists in messaging you while you continue not to reply, then a simple "No, thank you." becomes the next step to getting the message across that you are declining to work with that photographer.  If the photographer continues to send messages or harasses you, then block them from furher messaging.

Sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind!!!  wink

Nov 15 12 01:50 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Matty272
Posts: 217
Dunfermline, Scotland, United Kingdom


Plenty of responses (paraphrased) say "respond with 'no' then block"

I've always responded to rejections with a polite "Thanks for getting back to me, all the best for the future". Ignoring that is fine when you've had the nasty stuff described here as a response to your "no", but not every person gets upset at rejection.

Just something positive to bear in mind smile
Nov 16 12 12:57 am  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Photographer
-JAY-
Posts: 6,286
Las Vegas, Nevada, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

"No"

Nov 16 12 01:09 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Darren Brade
Posts: 2,746
London, England, United Kingdom


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Keep it short and simple without leaving any room for him to contact you again.Sometimes

"Hi, thanks for your interest, but not what I'm looking to do now.
Regards

Jacqueline"

The realitiy is you can't please everyone all of the time. Block him if he persists, no need to CAM unless he gets abusive.

Then move on to someone you do want to work with.

Nov 16 12 02:09 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Studio Chiaroscuro
Posts: 81
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada


-B-R-U-N-E-S-C-I- wrote:
"Sorry, but although your work is nice I am really not interested in shooting in this genre at the moment, either for trade or on a paid basis. "

If he keeps sending you messages after that, just delete them without reading them as you have already said everything you need to say.

+1: This is honest and to the point. No answer may seem like an answer but it's not really - it may seem as though you are too busy to answer, too lazy to answer or still thinking about it. It's better to answer everything at all reasonable even if it is just a polite "no." If he oversteps any boundaries after that go to plan B which would indeed be to delete without reading.

Nov 16 12 02:45 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Image K
Posts: 23,363
Las Vegas, Nevada, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

The same way you tell anyone else not related to modeling/photography that you are not interested.

Nov 16 12 02:55 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FiveOne November
Posts: 169
Rochester, New York, US


Image K wrote:

The same way you tell anyone else not related to modeling/photography that you are not interested.

I just looked through my outbox. I haven't sent messages to very many models, but looking at the "message read" status on those I've reached out to, less than half of them who have read the message took the time to respond. All of the models who responded did so with a positive, "yes, I'm interested".  I suppose the more than half who haven't responded don't know how to say, "no, thank you."  It's become a pet peeve for me.

-Joe

Nov 16 12 05:11 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Harmon Photography
Posts: 261
Maryville, Tennessee, US


You didn't mention in your original post if this was a TFP or paid offer, but it probably doesn't matter anyway. I'd probably say something like:

"Thank you for your interest in shooting with me. While I know your photographic style appeals to many models, it simply doesn't appeal to me so I am declining your offer. I wish you all the best."

If you say something about being too busy right now or anything that indicates a potentially temporary situation, he'll likely try again after a short period of time.

This is just my viewpoint anyway. What seems reasonable to me might not work at all for someone else!
Nov 16 12 05:21 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
JohnEnger
Posts: 710
Jessheim, Akershus, Norway


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

Some people just can't handle rejections..
Still I find it polite to answer when asked a question, so I think you should write and answer. There's no need to make a big deal of it, a simple "Thank you for your interest in shooting with me. I'm sorry but I'm not interested."

If that does not do it, yoummmmmay have to be less polite... big_smile


J.

Nov 16 12 05:28 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Herman Surkis
Posts: 8,260
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada


TomFRohwer wrote:

Don't make "hints" - just say no. A polite "no" is not an offense.

And by the way: if somebody percieves a polite "no" as an offense he/she is definitely not the one you want to collaborate with.

+++

Nov 16 12 12:28 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Herman Surkis
Posts: 8,260
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada


FiveOne November wrote:

I agree - I appreciate when a model responds to an inquiry.  At least half the time, I get no response at all.

yep

Nov 16 12 12:31 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mark Harris Photography
Posts: 490
Edison, New Jersey, US


FiveOne November wrote:
I just looked through my outbox. I haven't sent messages to very many models, but looking at the "message read" status on those I've reached out to, less than half of them who have read the message took the time to respond. All of the models who responded did so with a positive, "yes, I'm interested".  I suppose the more than half who haven't responded don't know how to say, "no, thank you."  It's become a pet peeve for me.

-Joe

A pet peeve and rude. As Joe points out, we know if you've read a message we've sent. All that is necessary is to click reply and say "I'm not interested in what you have proposed." MM has now provided a simple way to deal with troublemakers if they don't get the hint.

Nov 17 12 02:35 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
P I X I E
Posts: 35,267
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Very simple...

"I'm sorry, I am not interested in shooting with you."

If they get nasty (which does happen), then you block them.
Nov 17 12 06:05 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
P I X I E
Posts: 35,267
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Mark Harris Photography wrote:

A pet peeve and rude. As Joe points out, we know if you've read a message we've sent. All that is necessary is to click reply and say "I'm not interested in what you have proposed." MM has now provided a simple way to deal with troublemakers if they don't get the hint.

No answer is an answer. Yes, it's a little rude, but that's how it is. I know some models who get harassed for politely declining a shoot offer from a photographer.

Nov 17 12 06:07 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
gmillerimages
Posts: 10
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, US


Actually, no answer is not an answer. What happened to common courtesy?
Nov 17 12 06:22 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Glenn Hall - Fine Art
Posts: 431
Townsville, Queensland, Australia


JacquelineXx wrote:
This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

Firstly, you are NOT being nice by "not replying to his message" and you are "hinting" NOTHING by not replying. Okay, you are "hinting" you are someone not to work with as you fail to communicate.
Secondly, a "nice suggestion" would be to message back and reply to requests for a shoot with a NO.

DUH....

Nov 17 12 06:35 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
T Jo
Posts: 2
Tempe, Arizona, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Honestly, if it were me. I'd back off gracefully. You declined. That should be the end of it.

Nov 18 12 05:49 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Rowen
Posts: 616
Gibsonia, Pennsylvania, US


Personally, it shows more integrity to reply and say no. Ignoring someone isn't very good business even though a lot of people today think that's cool.

If I were to ask you, I would prefer a yes or no. That way I know you at least received by email query. If you are not interested, that's cool. I just think it shows more manners to reply one way or the other.

If, at that point, someone keeps pestering you, then either ignore them or report them.

-Ro
Nov 18 12 05:55 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
PelagicPics
Posts: 31
Champaign, Illinois, US


No reply could mean you did not get the email. They don't always come through. It drives me nuts when I don't get any response at all. Much prefer a polite "no". Then you won't waste my time waiting to hear from you.
Nov 18 12 05:58 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
RKD Photographic
Posts: 3,263
Iserlohn, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany


I'm in two minds over this - on the one hand you shouldn't work with anyone you don't want to, but on the other, if you want to maintain a professional attitude to your modelling, then you should work with anyone and everyone as long as the compensation fits.

If TFP won't benefit your portfolio, ask for money; if the job sounds really crap with long hours, travelling and discomfort attached, ask for more money.

I'll photograph any damn thing you ask me to if the price is right - this is my job.
Nov 18 12 05:59 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Camerosity
Posts: 5,055
Saint Louis, Missouri, US


C s p i n e wrote:
Polite? I'd rather have a model tell me to go fuck granny's tit than leave me hanging. If the shoot is 3 weeks away, I can't wait around 2 weeks or so to get your hint. Polite is letting the photographer know asap that he needs to keep looking.

I understand that not getting a reponse can be frustrating - but I also understand why models do it (or don't do it). Most people recognize that no resonse is an answer - and it saves a lot of debating and back-and-forth.

If a model doesn't want to work with a photographer under any circumstances, there's no point in sending her rates. But if she would like the paid work, sending rates is the way to go.

Nov 18 12 06:20 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
R A V E N D R I V E
Posts: 15,867
New York, New York, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

"I'm not available for this, good luck with your project"

"no"




I pretty much always throw "good luck" in, as a farewell charm. I say this to beggars a lot, where others might opt to ignore them

Nov 18 12 06:38 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
imcFOTO
Posts: 579
Bothell, Washington, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

You have to be prepared to be a little less polite - and keeping closest to the true reasons are the best. You just say that you've looked over his portfolio a few times and you just really don't think your styles are compatible. Your flattered that he was interested but it's best he goes looking elsewhere and you wish him well in his work.

If he still comes back with anything other than "Ok thanks", just ignore him. You've been polite and clear. If you get anything abusive - report it to a moderator - you will be doing everyone a favor then.

Nov 18 12 06:49 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Legacys 7
Posts: 33,773
San Francisco, California, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

A simple no. Ignoring the message imo is rude. Especially when you are assuming that he or she should get a hint. Don't you like direct and straight forward replies? It prevents both headaches and threads like these.

Nov 18 12 06:50 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
imcFOTO
Posts: 579
Bothell, Washington, US


RKD Photographic wrote:
I'm in two minds over this - on the one hand you shouldn't work with anyone you don't want to, but on the other, if you want to maintain a professional attitude to your modelling, then you should work with anyone and everyone as long as the compensation fits.

If TFP won't benefit your portfolio, ask for money; if the job sounds really crap with long hours, travelling and discomfort attached, ask for more money.

I'll photograph any damn thing you ask me to if the price is right - this is my job.

No no no. Don't tell models they should work with someone if they don't feel comfortable. You have a right to decline models and so should they. Money doesn't make up for everything. These are models not hookers.

Nov 18 12 06:52 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Dagger133
Posts: 352
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada


BlueMoonPics wrote:
I'll throw my vote in too...

Please write back to the photographer and say "no, thank you".

I personally appreciate this much better than no answer.
There have been a couple of models that wrote back to my request to shoot with them stating they weren't interested and I wrote back that I really appreciated them doing so.  I hold these models that said "no" in much higher regard than the ones that just never write back.

+1

No response is just a big, rude question mark.

Nov 18 12 07:02 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
RKD Photographic
Posts: 3,263
Iserlohn, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany


imcFOTO wrote:

No no no. Don't tell models they should work with someone if they don't feel comfortable. You have a right to decline models and so should they. Money doesn't make up for everything. These are models not hookers.

Define 'comfortable' - there are plently of perfectly nice people on this forum who cannot express themselves without resorting to sexual innuendo, swearing and insults and many others who write as if they never went to school at all. Given the number of misunderstandings that arise here, it's not surprising that maybe some people come across as wierd...

There are plenty of reasons not to work with someone and 'creepiness' is the main one cited, but until you've met that person you shouldn't judge too harshly. Obviously there are flags to 'creepiness' - keywords like 'whips', 'chains' and "if you get naked, I will too, in the interest of equality" in the opening emails are a bit of a worry, I imagine...

But that aside, just because the photographer's work is shoddy is not a reason not to work with someone. If the money is right.

And you're wrong - 'enough' money makes up for almost anything in this lovely society we live in...

I'm going to ignore the 'hookers' bit because, well... where did that come from?

Nov 18 12 07:04 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
imcFOTO
Posts: 579
Bothell, Washington, US


RKD Photographic wrote:
And you're wrong - 'enough' money makes up for almost anything in this lovely society we live in...

I disagree. You may think everything has it's price and that people will do anything - even unpleasant if the money is good. Well most of the time you don't get to renegotiate once you've agreed to something. I think sometime men (and I am one too!) forget how intimidating it can be for a woman to work with someone who is obnoxious or makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe. I say they should follow their instinct and avoid (or at least mitigate) the situations that don't feel right. It's not acceptable for photographers to be crass or rude - I don't care how talented they may be. Models aren't a piece of meat - they deserve to be treated as ladies don't they?

Nov 19 12 07:28 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
_Rei_
Posts: 124
Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia


RKD Photographic wrote:
But that aside, just because the photographer's work is shoddy is not a reason not to work with someone. If the money is right.

As per the quote above, provided the photographer appears to be a reasonable person and modelling is what you do for your main income, it's often a good idea to try to negotiate an uninteresting offer into a better one.

Don't want to shoot trade with the photographer? Ask for pay.
Think the rate of pay is too low for what they're offering you? Ask for more money.
Don't like some of what they shoot? Ask if they'll let you negotiate on the concepts and be clear about your limits.

At best, you'll get what you want. At worst, you don't get to shoot with someone you weren't interesting in working with anyway.

This isn't my full-time job, so I have turned down both paid and trade work from time to time (I shoot a mix of both). I always reply, because that's what I'd want if I were the person sending a message. I try to keep the formula simple for saying "no" - thank them for their interest, let them know that I'm not able to shoot with them (not interested in the concept, too busy, whichever applies), and wish them luck with the project.

The only mistake I've made in the past is trying to be too soft with my answer, and implying I may be available for work in future with the person. If it's not true, it's better not to get anyone's hopes up and just be direct, otherwise you may have to repeat the exchange in a few months.

Nov 19 12 10:20 pm  Link  Quote 
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