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12last
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


I hope you all are proud of yourselves.
Nov 15 12 11:54 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Carl Roberts
Posts: 32,936
Saint Petersburg, Florida, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:
I hope you all are proud of yourselves.

You've gotten very public about your private issues on the internets
It has to be somewhat expected

Focus on the people that are actually trying to be positive and helpful and ignore the nay sayers

I think it's going to be more helpful to you to focus on positive energy than to let the back biting push you down and eat at your psyche

Nov 16 12 04:51 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eye of Sicari
Posts: 36,877
Toledo, Ohio, US


Look, someone had to eat the rest of that cake before it went bad. I was just thinking of the children.
Nov 16 12 04:54 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Little Queenie
Posts: 6,213
Indio, California, US


Love you!!
Nov 16 12 10:22 am  Link  Quote 
Model
K Allende
Posts: 14,170
Columbus, Ohio, US


What in the world did I miss?

Whose butt do I need to kick?
Nov 16 12 10:35 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Laura Ann - Fashion
Posts: 8,277
Davenport, Iowa, US


People are crummy.

That being said, once something is on the internet, people have the right to comment.  It's not fun, and their opinions aren't always fully informed because they can only comment on what they see, but that's why you have to be aware of what you put out there.

I have a friend who is constantly on FB, one hour posting about how great her life is, and the next posting about how awful it is.  Up down up down up down...and anyone that only knows her through Facebook wouldn't know how positively hilarious she can be and how positive she is in person. Sure she has down days, but overall, she's a positive person.  But all they see are her relationships issues and her constant 'sad panda' statuses.  Heck, a guy she just met, a good guy, said he wasn't interested in talking to her anymore because he had been her FB friend and thought she was unstable.  No bueno.

Heck, I've realized it about myself.  I come here to vent.  So at lot of what I post is annoyances with friends, relationship issues, etc.  I fully expect that when SF2 thinks of me, they probably think of me as some unhappy person that can't find/keep a guy, and is in some huge funk.

I'm not.  I'm happy with my life, I get annoyed, but I try to balance the good with the bad.  Anyone who knows me also knows I'm a huge goofball that is always laughing at something, that I'm a supportive friend, and that I'm minorly neurotic.  However, I don't expect SF2 to know that about me because I don't put that out there like I should.  And I need to fix that.

So if you're unhappy with how people perceive you, then you need to think about what you're putting out there  You may be the most bombass person alive, but if we only see negativity, then that's what we have to believe you're like.

I hope things work out for you, that you resolve whatever issues you're having, and that you get back on your feet.  In the meantime, be self aware, and focus on the positive.  Obviously there are a lot of people that care about you, so think about those people and their efforts to help you.
Nov 16 12 10:48 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
DougBPhoto
Posts: 37,608
Portland, Oregon, US


Given some of the things I said this week, I am probably not the best one to comment or cast stones here.

However, when someone genuinely needs help, I would hope that most people understand that is not the time to attack that person for bad past choices.

It does not matter if that person posted a bunch of personal info here or on Facebook, when someone needs help, the proper response is not to push them under another bus, making intentionally hurtful comments.

Sometimes, even the truth hurts, but there is a right time and a wrong time for that.

It is not right to push someone when they are down, and when they are facing struggles, to give them an even greater emotional burden to work with.

That simply is not right, even if you think you're telling the truth, that isn't the right way to help.

If you come across someone with a leg cut off, you don't cut off one of their arms and claim that you're trying to help.

Obviously none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes, and obviously I was foolish to think that this was a group of caring people who like to look out for each other, because based on some new perspective gained this week, it looks a lot more like a group that finds personal entertainment (fulfillment?) in insulting and attacking others.

We all deserve better than this.
Nov 16 12 11:19 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


Eye of Sicari wrote:
Look, someone had to eat the rest of that cake before it went bad. I was just thinking of the children.

I wanted that cake!!!!

Nov 16 12 11:31 am  Link  Quote 
Model
K Allende
Posts: 14,170
Columbus, Ohio, US


DougBPhoto wrote:
Given some of the things I said this week, I am probably not the best one to comment or cast stones here.

However, when someone genuinely needs help, I would hope that most people understand that is not the time to attack that person for bad past choices.

It does not matter if that person posted a bunch of personal info here or on Facebook, when someone needs help, the proper response is not to push them under another bus, making intentionally hurtful comments.

Sometimes, even the truth hurts, but there is a right time and a wrong time for that.

It is not right to push someone when they are down, and when they are facing struggles, to give them an even greater emotional burden to work with.

That simply is not right, even if you think you're telling the truth, that isn't the right way to help.

If you come across someone with a leg cut off, you don't cut off one of their arms and claim that you're trying to help.

Obviously none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes, and obviously I was foolish to think that this was a group of caring people who like to look out for each other, because based on some new perspective gained this week, it looks a lot more like a group that finds personal entertainment (fulfillment?) in insulting and attacking others.

We all deserve better than this.

I don't know what happened, but this is good truth for everything. 

As someone who was also somewhat recently displaced, I am so thankful that I have been met with nothing but kindness, support, and understanding on here, FB, and in my personal life. I am also thankful that I had many options that didn't include a shelter, homelessness, or hostel. Not everyone has all those options, and we all fuck up and make bad choices and pay for them. A time when someone is struggling to get back on their own two feet and working towards that is no time to kick them.

Nov 16 12 11:32 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


And nothing missed other than, I have never said or done anything hurtful to any MM member. I don't know why hurtful things needed to be said behind my back.
Nov 16 12 11:36 am  Link  Quote 
Model
K Allende
Posts: 14,170
Columbus, Ohio, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:
And nothing missed other than, I have never said or done anything hurtful to any MM member. I don't know why hurtful things needed to be said behind my back.

Because lots of people are sucky, lacking in empathy, and miserable and get off on judging other people who may be currently struggling to make their own shitty life seems less shitty for a few minutes.

*hugs*

http://cdn.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/cutest-cat-ever-snoopy-sleeping-arms.jpg

Nov 16 12 11:42 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


Isabel Allende wrote:

Because lots of people are sucky, lacking in empathy, and miserable and get off on judging other people who may be currently struggling to make their own shitty life seems less shitty for a few minutes.

*hugs*

http://cdn.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/cutest-cat-ever-snoopy-sleeping-arms.jpg

Not sure if I want that cat or the blouse.

Nov 16 12 11:47 am  Link  Quote 
Model
K Allende
Posts: 14,170
Columbus, Ohio, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:

Not sure if I want that cat or the blouse.

I just want the cat.

Badly.

Nov 16 12 11:53 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
SPierce Photography
Posts: 19,581
Amherst, Massachusetts, US


I have no idea what happened, but sad
Nov 16 12 11:57 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Little Queenie
Posts: 6,213
Indio, California, US


I'm really happy that my parents taught me manners and respect. Like don't judge others, don't make assumptions about their situation and don't gossip in a hateful and hurtful manner. It's important to realize that people often leave out the most intimate details of their lives when venting/complaining and it's ignorant to make assumptions for or against their favor/character. Take things at face value. If you want to know more, ask. I've seen what these people have said an its just shameful and so off base and inaccurate. It's reinforced everything my parents taught me and reminded me that I don't want to be that kind of person.
Nov 16 12 12:01 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
scrymettet
Posts: 31,731
Quebec, Quebec, Canada


Nimue Elaine wrote:
I hope you all are proud of yourselves.

let see
I made a corny joke
I embarased a pretty girl in a nice way
I had awesome burger for lunch

yup, good day

Nov 16 12 01:25 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Svend
Posts: 25,125
Boulder, Colorado, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:
And nothing missed other than, I have never said or done anything hurtful to any MM member. I don't know why hurtful things needed to be said behind my back.

I too am out of the loop, but... *grope*

Nov 16 12 01:47 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Svend
Posts: 25,125
Boulder, Colorado, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:
And nothing missed other than, I have never said or done anything hurtful to any MM member. I don't know why hurtful things needed to be said behind my back.

DP!

Nov 16 12 01:47 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Zaychik
Posts: 7,787
San Francisco, California, US


Anyone who wants to mess with Nimue-mew-mew messes with me.

And I am NOT a nice bunny when that happens.
Nov 16 12 02:58 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Kincaid Blackwood
Posts: 23,306
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:
I hope you all are proud of yourselves.

I don't know what transpired but at a cursory glance, I'd have to say that you (specifically "you") have historically been public with matters many would consider to be rather private and personal.

If you (general "you") don't want anyone forming a skewed opinion of you or having a behind-your-back discussion of what you've put out there, then either a) tell everyone everything, b) don't tell anyone anything or c) learn to not care and then do as you wish.  Because unless the whole story is out there, people (me, you, anyone) will categorize others based on information available.  And none of us are owed a word to our faces unless you ask directly; we've all discussed other people outside of their presence at sometime in our lives.

Nov 16 12 04:16 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
-Jen-
Posts: 46,812
Howell, Michigan, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:
And nothing missed other than, I have never said or done anything hurtful to any MM member. I don't know why hurtful things needed to be said behind my back.

THIS.

Yep.

Nov 16 12 06:03 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Catnapping
Posts: 3,771
Brooklyn, New York, US


whoa and per usual I completely missed something
Nov 16 12 06:17 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Gabrielle Heather
Posts: 10,064
Middle Island, New York, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:
And nothing missed other than, I have never said or done anything hurtful to any MM member. I don't know why hurtful things needed to be said behind my back.

Not sure what happened hun, but I do hope things get well for you soon. Im sending air hugs your way.

Nov 16 12 06:18 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Don A Long
Posts: 2,625
Jacksonville, Florida, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:
I hope you all are proud of yourselves.

Nope, but I am proud of you.  Hang in there.

Nov 16 12 06:29 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eye of Sicari
Posts: 36,877
Toledo, Ohio, US


Svend wrote:

I too am out of the loop, but... *grope*

um...that was my butt...butt I liked it

Nov 16 12 06:49 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eye of Sicari
Posts: 36,877
Toledo, Ohio, US


Laura Ann - Fashion wrote:
I fully expect that when SF2 thinks of me, they probably think of me as some unhappy person that can't find/keep a guy, and is in some huge funk.

I think of you as the one with the personal stable of models

Nov 16 12 06:51 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Through Elizabeths Eyes
Posts: 4,916
Yelm, Washington, US


I don't know that "proud" is quite the word I would use.

Regardless, (and this will probably catch me shit on here, but I'm out of fucks to give), I stand behind what I said, and if it had been in my public group rather than in a private group, I still would have said it.

You put yourself into the public eye, you make hundreds of threads about your life, and you expect people not to make judgments or question what you're doing. This isn't livejournal. As fluffy bunny as this place has gotten, not everyone is going to just throw in for your pity party when you become homeless every other month.

I'm not saying this to be cruel. I'm saying it because it needs said. And if you're wondering why it wasn't said publicly, either here or in my group, it's because no one wants to deal with the retribution that will come from speaking the truth on this site, and unfortunately, it has not been limited to just this site (as evidenced by this thread).

Am I "proud" of what I said, and am saying? No. I'm not "proud" or feeling puffed up or powerful or any other stupid thing like that. I'm sad that this has to be said. I'm sad that your life appears the way it does. I hope it's not true. I hope you made it all up, or exaggerated it, or anything other than what it actually appears to be. And if you think I'm a bitch, or an asshole, or not minding my own business, or being judgmental, you have every right to those opinions.


Just like I have every right to form opinions about things you publicly put out for the world to see.

I'm not going to say anything more about this passive aggressive topic, here or elsewhere, because it's clearly failing to accomplish anything, like snow on hot springs. Feel free to respond to this, or brig me, or ban me, or what the fuck ever. I'm going to the bar, so I won't be here for it anyway.
Nov 16 12 06:54 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
K Allende
Posts: 14,170
Columbus, Ohio, US


Eye of Sicari wrote:

I think of you as the one with the personal stable of models

lol!

Nov 16 12 06:54 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Fifi
Posts: 58,130
Annapolis, Maryland, US


Through Elizabeths Eyes wrote:
I don't know that "proud" is quite the word I would use.

Regardless, (and this will probably catch me shit on here, but I'm out of fucks to give), I stand behind what I said, and if it had been in my public group rather than in a private group, I still would have said it.

You put yourself into the public eye, you make hundreds of threads about your life, and you expect people not to make judgments or question what you're doing. This isn't livejournal. As fluffy bunny as this place has gotten, not everyone is going to just throw in for your pity party when you become homeless every other month.

I'm not saying this to be cruel. I'm saying it because it needs said. And if you're wondering why it wasn't said publicly, either here or in my group, it's because no one wants to deal with the retribution that will come from speaking the truth on this site, and unfortunately, it has not been limited to just this site (as evidenced by this thread).

Am I "proud" of what I said, and am saying? No. I'm not "proud" or feeling puffed up or powerful or any other stupid thing like that. I'm sad that this has to be said. I'm sad that your life appears the way it does. I hope it's not true. I hope you made it all up, or exaggerated it, or anything other than what it actually appears to be. And if you think I'm a bitch, or an asshole, or not minding my own business, or being judgmental, you have every right to those opinions.


Just like I have every right to form opinions about things you publicly put out for the world to see.

I'm not going to say anything more about this passive aggressive topic, here or elsewhere, because it's clearly failing to accomplish anything, like snow on hot springs. Feel free to respond to this, or brig me, or ban me, or what the fuck ever. I'm going to the bar, so I won't be here for it anyway.

I can guarantee that everyone that this thread is directed at, pretty much feels the same way as Liz. There is no pride, no patting each other on the back.

I personally never mentioned the OP by name, I spoke in general terms, and I still am. If you're too fragile to have people share their opinions about your life/life choices, don't share your life with the world. It's a simple concept. If you only want unicorn kisses and rainbows, don't share your world on the Internet.

Nov 16 12 07:14 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Compass Rose Studios
Posts: 15,971
Portland, Oregon, US


Through Elizabeths Eyes wrote:

I for one appreciate the brutal honesty you show on here when others won't.  The hypocrisy in the forums is nauseating sometimes. 

For my part, your honesty is appreciated.

Nov 16 12 07:19 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Zaychik
Posts: 7,787
San Francisco, California, US


Personally, my opinion?

I think Iris shared her story because she needed some help, and maybe some support. Things have been hard as fuck for her recently. And sometimes it helps a person a mountain just to hear, "I'm sorry, but if you need to talk, I'm here, and it does get better, and here's how."

Do you guys have the right to then judge it?

Absolutely.

But it's just kind of a prickish thing to do, IMO. Sure, you can do it. But what's the point? You have a bad day or get mad that someone needs some love, or some support, maybe a little more than you do at the moment, so it makes it okay to go complain about them? Again, you can do it. But it doesn't make you seem all that dandy yourself.

If you don't want to help someone, you don't have to, period. So don't.
But you don't have to complain about it on top of it.
Because then you're complaining on the internet--which is just what you're complaining that she's doing.

Be nice.
Don't be a dick.
Sometimes people need love.
You don't have to give any.
But it takes more energy to bitch that someone may need it.

/two cents
Nov 16 12 07:35 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Sophia Be
Posts: 6,347
Portland, Oregon, US


I never know what's going on here....
Nov 16 12 07:40 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Gabrielle Heather
Posts: 10,064
Middle Island, New York, US


Through Elizabeths Eyes wrote:
I don't know that "proud" is quite the word I would use.

Regardless, (and this will probably catch me shit on here, but I'm out of fucks to give), I stand behind what I said, and if it had been in my public group rather than in a private group, I still would have said it.

You put yourself into the public eye, you make hundreds of threads about your life, and you expect people not to make judgments or question what you're doing. This isn't livejournal. As fluffy bunny as this place has gotten, not everyone is going to just throw in for your pity party when you become homeless every other month.

I'm not saying this to be cruel. I'm saying it because it needs said. And if you're wondering why it wasn't said publicly, either here or in my group, it's because no one wants to deal with the retribution that will come from speaking the truth on this site, and unfortunately, it has not been limited to just this site (as evidenced by this thread).

Am I "proud" of what I said, and am saying? No. I'm not "proud" or feeling puffed up or powerful or any other stupid thing like that. I'm sad that this has to be said. I'm sad that your life appears the way it does. I hope it's not true. I hope you made it all up, or exaggerated it, or anything other than what it actually appears to be. And if you think I'm a bitch, or an asshole, or not minding my own business, or being judgmental, you have every right to those opinions.


Just like I have every right to form opinions about things you publicly put out for the world to see.

I'm not going to say anything more about this passive aggressive topic, here or elsewhere, because it's clearly failing to accomplish anything, like snow on hot springs. Feel free to respond to this, or brig me, or ban me, or what the fuck ever. I'm going to the bar, so I won't be here for it anyway.

ninja

Nov 16 12 08:09 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


My problem is the not your opinions of me. Frankly could care less. My problem is the ugly words and the fact that it was done where I couldn't see it, defend myself or explain even. The people who chimed in and started the FB thing don't even know me or have any relationship with me. It's school yard bullying.

Have your two cents to put in? Do it on one of the threads I posted. Like you are here. That doesn't bother me. It makes you look petty for doing it in a private clique group behind my back.

And I'll air it out, saying I guy hop up and down the west coast? If that's what you think of three relationships and date in the last seven years, awesome.

Moving around? Other than this move to Portland, all my other moves were done because I was married to a Marine and we moved bases. But you can say I'm flighty, that's cool.

Abandoning my kids? I will not go into the details as to why they are not with me currently, but I didn't abandon them by any stretch of the imagination. Things were done to make sure they were in the best and safest environment for them.

I stopped listening to what else you all were saying about me, but the fact that I have this affect on your lives is amazing. And good on you for allowing me to impact you so much.

Grow up. Stop talking about people behind their backs. Two separate FB threads started that have hurt feelings of me and others by you people is sickening.
Nov 16 12 08:11 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


Don A Long wrote:

Nope, but I am proud of you.  Hang in there.

Thanks. smile

Nov 16 12 08:12 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


Eye of Sicari wrote:

um...that was my butt...butt I liked it

That was my grope!

Nov 16 12 08:13 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


scrymettet wrote:

let see
I made a corny joke
I embarased a pretty girl in a nice way
I had awesome burger for lunch

yup, good day

I want a burger. sad

Nov 16 12 08:14 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


Nimue Elaine wrote:
And nothing missed other than, I have never said or done anything hurtful to any MM member. I don't know why hurtful things needed to be said behind my back.

Oh I'll say this again.

Nov 16 12 08:15 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Burlap Rats
Posts: 18,930
Riverside, California, US


Gabrielle Heather wrote:

Not sure what happened hun, but I do hope things get well for you soon. Im sending air hugs your way.

borat

Nov 16 12 09:03 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Paolo Diavolo
Posts: 8,196
Pleasant Hill, California, US


Isabel Allende wrote:
What in the world did I miss?

Whose butt do I need to kick?

i'm not sure, but i probably deserve a spanking.
tell me im naughty.

Nov 16 12 09:07 pm  Link  Quote 
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