I like this... especially what you've done to the hair. Looks much better than original.

I will say, personal preference:

I would have removed or at least softened the wrinkle lines in the neck from where it is twisted. I can also still see dark marks from where you took out some of the other lines.

Even out the tones on her back and used a little liquify to make the curve nice and smooth.

Remove what I'm guessing is her hand from next to her arm. It's not necessary and I think it's overall distracting from the entire photo.

I like what you've done.. if we're taking only the "after" in mind. However, I don't think it was supposed to be such a dramatic image - the make up is too dark and the hair is a bit of an overkill for me.

I like the new hair! That part looks great

I don't like the twisty thing around her neck on your edit though, I find it too distracting.

And as a personal preference, I would have straightened her spine a bit with liquify.

hair is great and the flying ribbon...I think values are a bit dark for me..maybe midtones a bit lighter....I would also remove whatever is sticking out in the chest area....I still like the original tones though they might be a little bit altered...Would like to see revision

I think what you did to the hair sounds like a good idea in theory, but I don't necessarily think it looks natural enough. 

Also, I would have softened or removed most of the wrinkles on the neck. I'm a bit sad you removed the freckles on her shoulder (I'm a big fan of freckles on models right now). 

I agree with others that the black ribbon is a bit distracting. I would have removed the entirety of it in all honesty (maybe even the part around her neck too).