login info join!
Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > SF2: Ess Effin Two > I am pudgy, balding and I have a small sausage Search   Reply
12last
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


The truth of the matter is... I have a stand in for my avatar... paid that poor chap 3 bucks to hold the camera for me and since he shortly after went to rehab for a bad meth addiction... I couldn't shoot an updated photo.

Confession time... I am 5'5" standing up straight... I weigh about 237 lbs and I have no, ... almost no hair.

I also have to say... my sexual prowess... grossly exaggerated!

Unfortunately, when the good lord handed out the kielbasas... I was sleeping and only said "me" when he had those little party sausages left... I am telling you... the irony of that name... there is no party going on at all... I mean... it's so small... I can't even reach it with my tiny pudgy fingers.  sad

I wasn't born in Germany... I do not have an accent, what sounds so weird is that I grew up with foreigners who didn't speak English... and I had to learn it myself... that's why I type funny and sound funny... but the German cover worked well for a while.

Good news is... the photos in my port are really taken by me, and my paintings are also mine...

I am blessed tho... although I do look rather repulsive... only 3 out of 10 models throw up in their own mouth when they see me... used to be a higher ratio before...

Well... there you go!

Once I hit "new thread"... the truth is out there.

Got some mustard?    big_smile
Dec 04 12 03:14 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Gabrielle Heather
Posts: 10,064
Middle Island, New York, US


what
Dec 04 12 03:22 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
California Girls Skate
Posts: 343
Los Angeles, California, US


Dec 04 12 03:25 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Lawrence Guy
Posts: 17,671
LAKE PEEKSKILL, New York, US


This is an awesome thread.

borat
Dec 04 12 03:27 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Damon Banner
Posts: 85,305
Hayward, California, US


surgery has come a long way
Dec 04 12 03:36 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Kev Lawson
Posts: 7,430
Las Vegas, Nevada, US


kinda sounds like my ex wife, other than the party sausage stuff
Dec 04 12 03:41 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


Gabrielle Heather wrote:
what

borat

Dec 04 12 03:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


California Girls Skate wrote:
Found your themesong...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE6iAjEv9dQ

That's a good one...

It also reminds me of "There is something about Mary" and Norm... the pizza delivery guy... big_smile

Dec 04 12 03:56 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
No Name Uno
Posts: 400
San Martin, California, US


OP, I thought I was the only one. I'm so glad to find someone else who may 'understand' ...
Dec 04 12 08:33 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Fergy
Posts: 22,371
Fenton, Michigan, US


udor wrote:
The truth of the matter is... I have a stand in for my avatar... paid that poor chap 3 bucks to hold the camera for me and since he shortly after went to rehab for a bad meth addiction... I couldn't shoot an updated photo.

Confession time... I am 5'5" standing up straight... I weigh about 237 lbs and I have no, ... almost no hair.

I also have to say... my sexual prowess... grossly exaggerated!

Unfortunately, when the good lord handed out the kielbasas... I was sleeping and only said "me" when he had those little party sausages left... I am telling you... the irony of that name... there is no party going on at all... I mean... it's so small... I can't even reach it with my tiny pudgy fingers.  sad

I wasn't born in Germany... I do not have an accent, what sounds so weird is that I grew up with foreigners who didn't speak English... and I had to learn it myself... that's why I type funny and sound funny... but the german cover worked well for a while.

Good news is... the photos in my port are really taken by me, and my paintings are also mine...

I am blessed tho... although I do look rather repulsive... only 3 out of 10 models through up in their own mouth when they see me... used to be a higher ratio before...

Well... there you go!

Once I hit "new thread"... the truth is out there.

Got some mustard?    big_smile

Are you still a six foot shooter?  Cuz, DAAAYYYUUMM!  That would be impressive!  lol


borat

Dec 04 12 11:18 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Gabrielle Heather
Posts: 10,064
Middle Island, New York, US


still confused
Dec 04 12 11:22 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


Lawrence Guy wrote:
This is an awesome thread.

borat

Thank you! wink

I am enjoying it myself!   big_smile

Dec 05 12 05:15 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


Gabrielle Heather wrote:
still confused

Don't be confused! It's SF2... big_smile

Dec 05 12 06:21 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


Fergy wrote:

Are you still a six foot shooter?  Cuz, DAAAYYYUUMM!  That would be impressive!  lol


borat

Shhhh! That's my secret superhero power... wink

Dec 05 12 06:22 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 24,564
Tampa, Florida, US


Awesome
Dec 05 12 07:25 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


Damon Banner wrote:
surgery has come a long way

hah! wink

Dec 05 12 03:27 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Kincaid Blackwood
Posts: 23,365
Atlanta, Georgia, US


I measure 3 feet high…












…when I'm laying on my back.
Dec 05 12 05:07 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Tog
Posts: 55,204
Birmingham, Alabama, US


Kincaid Blackwood wrote:
I measure 3 feet high…












…when I'm laying on my back.

It used to be more...















...the ceiling fan was a bad investment.

Dec 05 12 05:39 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


Tog wrote:
It used to be more...

...the ceiling fan was a bad investment.

LOL   borat

Dec 06 12 08:15 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Russian Katarina II
Posts: 2,515
London, England, United Kingdom


You'll be alright as long as you have money.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/10/12/article-1076718-021386A1000005DC-929_468x688.jpg
Dec 06 12 09:36 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
SPRINGHEEL
Posts: 38,192
Gibraltar, Michigan, US


http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l249/SPRINGHEEL69/2cmkpc5.jpg
Dec 06 12 09:42 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Wildcat Photography
Posts: 1,486
Valparaiso, Indiana, US


udor wrote:
Got some mustard?    big_smile

Put some Mustard on your Mustard!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIy5MlqKOjA

1:55 of serious Inspiration!

Enjoy!

Wildcat

http://cdn1.ticketsinventory.com/images/thumbs/concert/e/electric-six/electric-six_ZIy5MlqKOjA.jpg

Dec 06 12 10:52 am  Link  Quote 
Model
S3R4PH1M
Posts: 526
Modesto, California, US


stocking stuffers (you're welcome)

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m141/topherrenato/glh_can.jpg

http://i1340.photobucket.com/albums/o739/newodyssey2012/pump1.jpg
Dec 06 12 10:57 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DivaEroticus
Posts: 14,650
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US


S3R4PH1M  wrote:
stocking stuffers (you're welcome)

http://i1340.photobucket.com/albums/o739/newodyssey2012/pump1.jpg

WTF?? lol  Handsome??

Dec 06 12 12:52 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
MesmerEyes Photography
Posts: 3,011
Tyler, Texas, US


DivaEroticus wrote:

WTF?? lol  Handsome??

Hand some up. Get it?

Udor, I got some cocktail sauce to go with that wiener. lol

Dec 06 12 01:06 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


S3R4PH1M  wrote:
stocking stuffers (you're welcome)

http://i1340.photobucket.com/albums/o739/newodyssey2012/pump1.jpg

Do they have them smaller?

I have to start from pinky finger size and work my way up!

Dec 07 12 09:04 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DivaEroticus
Posts: 14,650
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US


udor wrote:

Do they have them smaller?

I have to start from pinky finger size and work my way up!

Here!

http://www.extremerestraints.com/images/resized/j/jc900_382_325.jpg

Dec 07 12 09:26 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


DivaEroticus wrote:

Here!

http://www.extremerestraints.com/images/resized/j/jc900_382_325.jpg

Ohh... shucks... did I mention that I am broke and live in my parents basement?   big_smile

Dec 08 12 07:41 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DivaEroticus
Posts: 14,650
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US


udor wrote:

Ohh... shucks... did I mention that I am broke and live in my parents basement?   big_smile

Save your pennies!  lol

Dec 08 12 07:53 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


DivaEroticus wrote:

Save your pennies!  lol

Good idea! smile

Dec 09 12 07:22 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Amadea T
Posts: 3,448
Columbus, Ohio, US


udor wrote:
Confession time... I am 5'5" standing up straight... I weigh about 237 lbs and I have no, ... almost no hair.

Ugh thank gawd. I don't really like tall dark and handsome anyways.

big_smile

Dec 09 12 08:02 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


Eurocat wrote:

Ugh thank gawd. I don't really like tall dark and handsome anyways.

big_smile

LOL... tongue

Dec 09 12 05:38 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


I always recommend tattooed models to buy Dermablend for tattoo cover ups...

I got a Dermablend kit from Santa... and I applied it...

Works awesome!

http://img1.etsystatic.com/004/0/5851351/il_340x270.380160499_gd9j.jpg
Dec 15 13 01:51 pm  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Photographer
Justin
Posts: 21,808
Fort Collins, Colorado, US


udor wrote:
I am 5'5" standing up straight... I weigh about 237 lbs

Not to worry. I've heard that it's not the length, but the girth, that matters.

At least, that's what Stumpy always claimed.

Dec 15 13 02:21 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
scrymettet
Posts: 32,096
Scott - permanent station of New Zealand, Sector claimed by New Zealand, Antarctica


lol
Dec 15 13 02:26 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Lumen Sky
Posts: 1,752
Center Moriches, New York, US


SPRINGHEEL  wrote:
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l249/SPRINGHEEL69/2cmkpc5.jpg

yes!

Dec 15 13 02:32 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
kickfight
Posts: 27,479
Portland, Oregon, US


Congratulations, udor. You win the intenetz this day. lol

http://www.xcellimark.com/sites/all/themes/xm_adaptive/images/au_award-image1.jpg
Dec 15 13 02:57 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Lawrence Guy
Posts: 17,671
LAKE PEEKSKILL, New York, US


Why Zombie Why?
Dec 15 13 03:04 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


kickfight wrote:
Congratulations, udor. You win the intenetz this day. lol

http://www.xcellimark.com/sites/all/themes/xm_adaptive/images/au_award-image1.jpg

Thank you... thank you!

I want to thank the academy and my esteemed peers for that honor!!!   

I will be here all week!


                                                                                       borat

Dec 15 13 03:09 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
udor
Posts: 22,168
New York, New York, US


Lawrence Guy wrote:
Why Zombie Why?

C'mon!

Next April, I'll be 9 years on MM... a 12 month old thread is not even a cold body yet...  tongue

Dec 15 13 03:12 pm  Link  Quote 
12last   Search   Reply