Theres a particular person from Kansas City who recently called me a "fucking liar" on facebook because I could not make a shoot this upcoming weekend. I've had finals all week and am in pre-med. How do you deal with a person who had been a friend and mentor for so long to suddenly slandering you on facebook, deleting you as a friend, and then making statuses referencing you? My mom flipped when she heard about this person and what he did. What would you do?
I wish you luck sorting it out. I just had a now former model and close friend do the same to me including advising another model not to work with as I was "unprofessional" She denies having done this, of course.
For starters, I don't use Facebook for my business. Secondly, I don't involve my mother in my business. For tips on how to prevent sentence number two, see sentence number one.
Sucks, though. Just keep doing you.
Caro Brett wrote: Theres a particular person from Kansas City who recently called me a "fucking liar" on facebook because I could not make a shoot this upcoming weekend. I've had finals all week and am in pre-med. How do you deal with a person who had been a friend and mentor for so long to suddenly slandering you on facebook, deleting you as a friend, and then making statuses referencing you? My mom flipped when she heard about this person and what he did. What would you do?
Sorry that happened.
1. What to do about this situation? Not much. Just move on. There are going to be situations where someone who work with is going to be unhappy. if you're good and professional and a nice person, it won't happen often. But it will still happen.
2. Chose a better class of photographer and person in the future. Be clear about your school commitments in your profile and discuss possible problems upfront.
The better question is what do you want to see happen? I mean is calling you a liar worth a public battle? Fighting with this person will only drag you further down a path that has no winners. You are Pre-med so doesn't sound like this persons comments are going to ruin your future.
Caro Brett wrote: Theres a particular person from Kansas City who recently called me a "fucking liar" on facebook because I could not make a shoot this upcoming weekend. I've had finals all week and am in pre-med. How do you deal with a person who had been a friend and mentor for so long to suddenly slandering you on facebook, deleting you as a friend, and then making statuses referencing you? My mom flipped when she heard about this person and what he did. What would you do?
It seems to be a releif to only hear one side of the story.. I hope you get the understanding you seek...
I'm sorry I just can't get past this imagery and how ridiculously funny it is when you think about it.
You're caught up in this drama but step back and really think about it. An ADULT is calling you names on a social media site. I can only assume this is the same person who, after a breakup, would run into the boy's bathroom at school and scrawl mean things about his ex.
They're getting the exact reaction they wanted from you. They're not doing it for anyone else because nobody else would give two shits how that person feels about you. They're doing it so YOU will run over there and check what was written about you and get all pissed off and, hopefully, respond.
Laugh and rise above it and it will go away. Feed it and it only grows.
Michael Pandolfo wrote: I'm sorry I just can't get past this imagery and how ridiculously funny it is when you think about it.
You're caught up in this drama but step back and really think about it. An ADULT is calling you names on a social media site. I can only assume this is the same person who, after a breakup, would run into the boy's bathroom at school and scrawl mean things about his ex.
They're getting the exact reaction they wanted from you. They're not doing it for anyone else because nobody else would give two shits how that person feels about you. They're doing it so YOU will run over there and check what was written about you and get all pissed off and, hopefully, respond.
Laugh and rise above it and it will go away. Feed it and it only grows.
Caro Brett wrote: Theres a particular person from Kansas City who recently called me a "fucking liar" on facebook because I could not make a shoot this upcoming weekend. I've had finals all week and am in pre-med. How do you deal with a person who had been a friend and mentor for so long to suddenly slandering you on facebook, deleting you as a friend, and then making statuses referencing you? My mom flipped when she heard about this person and what he did. What would you do?
Caro Brett wrote: Theres a particular person from Kansas City who recently called me a "fucking liar" on facebook because I could not make a shoot this upcoming weekend. I've had finals all week and am in pre-med. How do you deal with a person who had been a friend and mentor for so long to suddenly slandering you on facebook, deleting you as a friend, and then making statuses referencing you? My mom flipped when she heard about this person and what he did. What would you do?
I would not say I could shoot on a week I had finals
can you talk to him and try to mend fences, get him to retract the nastygram? is this really just about your rescheduling a shoot or is something deeper going on? sometimes photographers do fall for their models. long-term friendships are valuable so don't give up without a fight.
also maybe look at the way you schedule shoots. if you are over-scheduling yourself and having to cancel/postpone that's not good if it happens repeatedly.
Caro Brett wrote: How do you deal with a person who had been a friend and mentor for so long to suddenly slandering you on facebook, deleting you as a friend, and then making statuses referencing you?
It's on Facebook -- it doesn't matter. Ignore him.
He's from Kansas City, and you are not -- it doesn't matter. Ignore him.
Everyone is entitled to their (assholely, ignorant, wrong) opinion.
If you engage with the guy, you'll just feed his hunger and prolong the situation. Instead, find something constructive to do with your time. Living well is the best revenge.
Brianne Leary
Posts: 177
OTTSVILLE, Pennsylvania, US
Don't bring any attention to it. By acting like nothing is going on or effecting you you will look like the bigger person. Posting it about it on MM won't really solve anything. I know it's upsetting though, I've dealt with my share of drama, as I'm sure everyone has when it comes to modeling, photography, etc. If they want to be childish about it that's on them.
Treat it with the contempt it deserves, ignore it. It's a big world out there and ones time should not be spent worrying about people who suffer from ID-10-T syndrome.
DAN CRUIKSHANK
Posts: 1,643
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Ignore it. The last thing you want to do is Make a big deal of it. My Facebook newsfeed is full of models and photographers complaining about each other. Personally, it's a big turnoff. It's unprofessional to make any kind of public outcrys when faced with such a situation.
Michael Pandolfo wrote: I'm sorry I just can't get past this imagery and how ridiculously funny it is when you think about it.
You're caught up in this drama but step back and really think about it. An ADULT is calling you names on a social media site. I can only assume this is the same person who, after a breakup, would run into the boy's bathroom at school and scrawl mean things about his ex.
They're getting the exact reaction they wanted from you. They're not doing it for anyone else because nobody else would give two shits how that person feels about you. They're doing it so YOU will run over there and check what was written about you and get all pissed off and, hopefully, respond.
Laugh and rise above it and it will go away. Feed it and it only grows.
Slander is when you "Say It." Libel is when you "Write It." (Either way, what is said or written has to go against your good name and be false) Defamation of Character is when it cost "Them" money.
You have few choices here, as many are telling you, yet you do have a few choices. It all depends on how damning his accusations were and whether they were true or not and whether either of you could prove it one way or the other. Suck it up and move on, as many say here, or fight back.
Either way, its up to you how you handle your life.
John Horwitz
Posts: 2,548
Raleigh, North Carolina, US
Typically, the elements of a cause of action for defamation include:
A false and defamatory statement concerning another;
The unprivileged publication of the statement to a third party (that is, somebody other than the person defamed by the statement);
If the defamatory matter is of public concern, fault amounting at least to negligence on the part of the publisher; and
Damage to the plaintiff.
Were you damaged? Your mom being angry is NOT the same! -
Caro Brett wrote: Theres a particular person from Kansas City who recently called me a "fucking liar" on facebook because I could not make a shoot this upcoming weekend. I've had finals all week and am in pre-med. How do you deal with a person who had been a friend and mentor for so long to suddenly slandering you on facebook, deleting you as a friend, and then making statuses referencing you? My mom flipped when she heard about this person and what he did. What would you do?
Best I can tell from your side of the story would be that you make a commitment, and then broke it. And he's not handling it well.
You can avoid this by not breaking your commitments, and by separating your personal and professional lives. Or, at least, you can reduce it that way.
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