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Photographer
Porcelain Perspective
Posts: 298
Virginia Beach, Virginia, US


I recently shot the two images below, and am looking for critique on them to help me establish which one to keep in my portfolio.

This is my first critique on MM! 

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/121230/08/50e071d2a6b55_m.jpg

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/121231/08/50e1be22bf26b_m.jpg

Thank you for your opinions!
Dec 31 12 08:39 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
noel marrero
Posts: 433
Menlo Park, California, US


Porcelain Perspective wrote:
I recently shot the two images below, and am looking for critique on them to help me establish which one to keep in my portfolio.

This is my first critique on MM! 

Thank you for your opinions!

I like the model choice.

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/121231/08/50e1be22bf26b_m.jpg
The skin is bluish and blotchy.  Especially in the legs.  Not sure how much is cold, and how much is a need for a bit more lighting there.  The dark corset loses a lot of it's detail and could have used more light as well, IMO.    Her hands are kind of funny and cut off.  The dark bleeding off from the corset to the chest is really distracting.

http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/121230/08/50e071d2a6b55_m.jpg
I LOVE her face here.  Unfortunately it's such a small portion of the shot it's hard to really appreciate it as much as I believe it deserves.   The distressed window is okay, but ultimately not as interesting as her.  So frame her with the tree, but I don't think trying to balance her with the window is a win.   The model seems to have quite a bit of character in her face.  I feel like you missed on that opportunity a bit.   And again, the broken hand.

Dec 31 12 05:32 pm  Link  Quote 
Hair Stylist
Platform Artist
Posts: 157
Chicago, Illinois, US


upon first glance i thought the bottom but then i clicked both and the top is better to me.    they are 2 different shots with the same model ...
Dec 31 12 07:29 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
OmnyRa
Posts: 1,029
Indianapolis, Indiana, US


In the top image: the leaves and berries aren't blurred enough to allow the attention to go straight to the model. It plays a focusing trick on the eyes due to not enough blur. The view to the model feels obstructed due to so much foliage framing the image. It's sort of a Peeping Tom look.

Second pic is much better.  I don't know if you do much retouching, but the bruise on her hip isn't flattering, nor is the sharp angle formed by the corset and her hip. Just barely a little curving of that corner would be more flattering. I would also like to see the other hand on her thigh or holding one of the branches, rather than cut off.
Jan 01 13 09:01 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
L A U B E N H E I M E R
Posts: 8,361
Seattle, Washington, US


focus on the girl first and foremost. she's beautiful. think about her expression. her face, her eyes, is an expression. her pose is also an expression. i agree also with the comments about the broken hand.  it just seems awkward.

all of that said, the photos are far from terrible. you definitely have talent that just needs to be nurtured, and that comes with practice, and more practice. but you will get there. being an artist is a journey. take it one day at a time.
Jan 01 13 09:50 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Porcelain Perspective
Posts: 298
Virginia Beach, Virginia, US


Thank you everyone for the encouraging criticism. I'm going to look at what else I got from our shoot and see what I can do smile
Jan 01 13 10:29 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
noel marrero
Posts: 433
Menlo Park, California, US


Mark Laubenheimer wrote:
focus on the girl first and foremost. she's beautiful. think about her expression. her face, her eyes, is an expression. her pose is also an expression. i agree also with the comments about the broken hand.  it just seems awkward.

all of that said, the photos are far from terrible. you definitely have talent that just needs to be nurtured, and that comes with practice, and more practice. but you will get there. being an artist is a journey. take it one day at a time.

Yeah, in case that wasn't clear from my comments.   I don't think the images are bad, but for serious critique the most useful thing to point out are the flaws, not what you did right.  smile

-Noel

Jan 01 13 03:58 pm  Link  Quote 
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