MelissaAnn  wrote:
Another reason I may not respond is if the photographer provides details on the way he looks, or too much personal info.  Example:  "Hi, I'm a 28-year-old fashion photographer with blond hair and a good build."

Hi, I'm a 53 year-old photographer, 6' 8", 290 lbs, with "Albert Einstein" hair (which I like to think of as a "thinking man's" style). Two of my nicknames are "Lurch" or "Herman"

Fotografica Gregor wrote:

Yep......

I wonder if the same photographers who bitch the most about the 'no reply is a reply' are not some of the same ones who could not let it go gracefully if they received a "no thank you".....   there seems to be too much *emotional attachment*  on the part of many -

Well said. i have always thought the same thing.

MelissaAnn  wrote:
Yeah, me too. 

Another reason I may not respond is if the photographer provides details on the way he looks, or too much personal info.  Example:  "Hi, I'm a 28-year-old fashion photographer with blond hair and a good build."  Gives the impression they're looking for something other than a shoot.

or stress their family too much.

"I have a wife I love very very much and I've been with for 30 billion years and I have 18 beautiful children, here are all their ages, and my wife and I are very happy and she's blonde and has a nice laugh and I love her."

depending on the rest of the message that's at least a red flag.

Bill Tracy Photography wrote:
I never do any of the horrible creepy things that are being posted here.  I give full details of the shoot, the pay rate, open dates, location, etc etc, and I still get models who read and don't reply.

I can totally see not replying if the guy is obviously a creep and looking for something else besides photos, but when someone is professional and genuine, and really proves it with tons of linked models and so on, there's no excuse to not give some sort of a reply.

No one likes to think that they are doing something wrong, but misunderstandings happen, even with the best of intentions.

Those who are unwilling to take a close look at what is happening are those least likely to learn and improve things in the future.

You might think there is no excuse, but there might be a reason, even if you're not aware of it.

That is kinda the point of the thread, to hopefully help even perfect photographers become more aware.

Art of the nude wrote:
This makes sense, at least on the surface.  But, try sending detailed concepts to 30 model, and getting two responses.  Then you wonder whether the others will answer in a week, or if you should propose the concept to someone else.

Like many photographers, I'm happy to discuss concepts with people who want to work with me.  Of course, much of my best work was based on ideas that evolved during the shoot, or with such simple concepts that it's silly to send them to a model.

MelissaAnn  wrote:
The initial message really doesn't need to include *too* many specifics. 

State whether you're interested in paid or TF, when you want to shoot (date range), whether hair, makeup, and wardrobe will be provided, location of shoot, and a *brief* description of the possible concept.

The concept doesn't need to be complicated, it can be as simple as "bedroom glamour nudes," "fashion nudes,"  "outdoor art nudes in a woodsy location, or "studio portraits."  If the photographer's port is full of studio fashion shots, outdoor art nudes, or any other type of theme, it's also acceptable to simply say, "I'm interested in doing similar work to what you see in my port."

I don't expect a photographer to take an hour to put together a message for me before he/she even knows if I'm interested, just include the most important details.

Emily Hayworth wrote:
Fair enough, though I didn't mean that I wanted something super detailed, necessarily...even saying whether or not they wanted to gear toward fashion/glamour/art nude etc would be more than I get in those cases (though to be fair, my portfolio is mainly glamour nude, so I can generally assume that's why I'm being approached).

That's different.  I think SOME idea of what someone has in mind is reasonable.  Bur, really, if "Art of the Nude" wants to shoot with you, what would someone reasonable think I have in mind. 

But, for example, the concept for this was "This guy I know has a cool place to shoot, let's go there."  (18+)
https://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/29885264

Damianne wrote:

or stress their family too much.

"I have a wife I love very very much and I've been with for 30 billion years and I have 18 beautiful children, here are all their ages, and my wife and I are very happy and she's blonde and has a nice laugh and I love her."

depending on the rest of the message that's at least a red flag.

lol.  Those make me laugh.

Art of the nude wrote:

Art of the nude wrote:
This makes sense, at least on the surface.  But, try sending detailed concepts to 30 model, and getting two responses.  Then you wonder whether the others will answer in a week, or if you should propose the concept to someone else.

Like many photographers, I'm happy to discuss concepts with people who want to work with me.  Of course, much of my best work was based on ideas that evolved during the shoot, or with such simple concepts that it's silly to send them to a model.

That's different.  I think SOME idea of what someone has in mind is reasonable.  Bur, really, if "Art of the Nude" wants to shoot with you, what would someone reasonable think I have in mind. 

But, for example, the concept for this was "This guy I know has a cool place to shoot, let's go there."  (18+)
https://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/29885264

Even something as basic as that tells you a lot about the shoot.  Most of the time people really don't give you the slightest clue what they want to do if it's one of those "drive by" messages, which is why I don't feel bad about not responding to those.

rp_photo wrote:
Hi, I'm a 53 year-old photographer, 6' 8", 290 lbs, with "Albert Einstein" hair (which I like to think of as a "thinking man's" style). Two of my nicknames are "Lurch" or "Herman"

Nice.

Bill Tracy Photography wrote:
I never do any of the horrible creepy things that are being posted here.  I give full details of the shoot, the pay rate, open dates, location, etc etc, and I still get models who read and don't reply.

I can totally see not replying if the guy is obviously a creep and looking for something else besides photos, but when someone is professional and genuine, and really proves it with tons of linked models and so on, there's no excuse to not give some sort of a reply.

No matter how good you are at wording your initial message, you'll always get a small percentage of models that won't respond. 

For you, I would recommend posting in the critique forum and asking models if there's anything about your profile or portfolio that's a turn-off.  I think you may get some helpful answers.

Also, consider the type of models you're contacting, and the ideas you may be pitching to them.  Contacting models that are way above/below your level (for TF), or asking them to model genres they don't have listed on their profile can also be a factor.

Marin Photography wrote:
I get thousands of messages. It is to the point that I had to hire four people to answer and respond to each one daily. I had to hire a body guard and a install an alarm on my home to prevent stalkers from breaking in my home. I am stressed by all the attention. I also installed video cameras to have a witness on guard daily. I am going to have to stop shooting! This is crazy! Anyway I feel your pain, I can understand why you don't respond to your fans....

(all lies!)....

Another bitter & sarcastic photographer not contributing any useful information.  Welcome to the thread. 

DougBPhoto wrote:
No one likes to think that they are doing something wrong, but misunderstandings happen, even with the best of intentions.

Those who are unwilling to take a close look at what is happening are those least likely to learn and improve things in the future.

You might think there is no excuse, but there might be a reason, even if you're not aware of it.

That is kinda the point of the thread, to hopefully help even perfect photographers become more aware.

Doug, the OP can only speak for herself as each of us can only do.   What is a problem for one person may be fine for another.   If a llama feels your correspondence isn't clear.   She can ask for clarification.   If there is a misunderstanding then things can be corrected but not when the llama doesn't reply further or at all.   Here in this thread a llama; MoRina has made a solid point yet was called bitter and sarcastic  by the OP.   I've been called butt hurt when all I suggested is that llamas reply if interested or not.   How can I improve if there is no feedback?   Not that I generally ask llamas to shoot and  in 2013 I won't anymore.     I will just do castings.   Here's what I'm speaking of.    A llama I know husband was killed.   I asked a mutual friend how she was doing.   I later wrote her with no reply.   I saw her one day and mentioned my email and she went off.

Why did I ask someone how she was, she screamed.   I'm sure her grief over her guy was part of her anger as we had been cool before.   My point is someone else hearing that might say.   Why did you ask about her condition at all or  how she was any of your business.   There is what I call what reasonable people do.   A reasonable email might just say.   Would you like to do a fashion or glamor shoot?   That starts things going.   That's what I've seen from many photographers who find that innocuous contact ignored.   There is no excuse in my view for ignoring polite and reasoned emails.   If you don't want to shoot just say so.   A member who wrote the OP found his email ignored.   I wonder what he did wrong.    If I offend you should you say so or suffer in silence?   Adults speak up.   Offended say so.   Unclear then ask for things to be explained.

Just jokes...lighten up!...life's too short!....

Marin Photography wrote:
Just jokes...lighten up!...life's too short!....

Considering the subject matter, it was difficult to see that as joke.

Glad you have sense of humor though. 

Tony Lawrence wrote:
Doug, the OP can only speak for herself as each of us can only do.   What is a problem for one person may be fine for another.   If a llama feels your correspondence isn't clear.   She can ask for clarification.   If there is a misunderstanding then things can be corrected but not when the llama doesn't reply further or at all.   Here in this thread a llama; MoRina has made a solid point yet was called bitter and sarcastic  by the OP.   I've been called butt hurt when all I suggested is that llamas reply if interested or not.   How can I improve if there is no feedback?   Not that I generally ask llamas to shoot and  in 2013 I won't anymore.     I will just do castings.   Here's what I'm speaking of.    A llama I know husband was killed.   I asked a mutual friend how she was doing.   I later wrote her with no reply.   I saw her one day and mentioned my email and she went off.

Why did I ask someone how she was, she screamed.   I'm sure her grief over her guy was part of her anger as we had been cool before.   My point is someone else hearing that might say.   Why did you ask about her condition at all or  how she was any of your business.   There is what I call what reasonable people do.   A reasonable email might just say.   Would you like to do a fashion or glamor shoot?   That starts things going.   That's what I've seen from many photographers who find that innocuous contact ignored.   There is no excuse in my view for ignoring polite and reasoned emails.   If you don't want to shoot just say so.   A member who wrote the OP found his email ignored.   I wonder what he did wrong.    If I offend you should you say so or suffer in silence?   Adults speak up.   Offended say so.   Unclear then ask for things to be explained.

I think everyone here understood your view a couple pages and a few hand-fulls of posts ago.

What you do NOT seem to grasp is that your view is NOT going to change anything, and beating your drum like a does nothing other than to continue to be intentionally argumentative and completely oblivious to the purpose of the thread.

You quoted what I said, yet you seemed to pay absolutely NO attention to comprehending what I said in it, otherwise you would not have included comments in your reply that proved why what I was saying has so much relevance, yet it appears you remain happily and completely clueless.

My respectful suggestion to you is to WIDEN your view and think longer about OTHER PEOPLE's views so you can better understand things NOT just from your view, but even MORE importantly, understand things from OTHER people's perspectives.

The underlying point of this thread (and MelissaAnn obviously can agree or disagree) was to help photographers to better understand things from the perspective of llamas.

Rather than looking at this with an open mind and trying to learn from llamas sharing their perspectives, you are still trying to blindly argue that you are right and anyone who does not agree with you is wrong and making excuses.

HOW can you improve your communications when you seem unable or unwilling to consider that YOU and your opinion are NOT the only things that matter.

As I said previously, the fact that you seem obsessed with trying to prove that your view is correct and that anyone who does not agree with you is wrong is also A HUGE REASON behind why so many llamas choose not to reply, because they simply don't want to deal with photographers trying to convince them that they are making a huge mistake.

Obviously I cannot speak for llamas, but your closed-minded, "I don't need to learn anything" from llamas attitude displayed in this thread has changed my opinion of you, and it has not been for the better.

The fact that you would interject a reference to a llama whose husband died as ammunition for trying to win your argument leads me to believe that you are NOT the expert on proper communications that you seem to have convinced yourself that you are.

This literally saddens me that you seem so closed-minded in this matter, and so insensitive that you put your opinion and your feelings ahead of someone who was obviously going through one of the greatest heartbreaks of her life.

To narcissistically put yourself/your feelings first like that, AND to think that it is somehow appropriate to bring up in this discussion is so disappointing and unspeakably disturbing.

DougBPhoto wrote:

I think everyone here understood your view a couple pages and a few hand-fulls of posts ago.

What you do NOT seem to grasp is that your view is NOT going to change anything, and beating your drum like a does nothing other than to continue to be intentionally argumentative and completely oblivious to the purpose of the thread.

You quoted what I said, yet you seemed to pay absolutely NO attention to comprehending what I said in it, otherwise you would not have included comments in your reply that proved why what I was saying has so much relevance, yet it appears you remain happily and completely clueless.

My respectful suggestion to you is to WIDEN your view and think longer about OTHER PEOPLE's views so you can better understand things NOT just from your view, but even MORE importantly, understand things from OTHER people's perspectives.

The underlying point of this thread (and MelissaAnn obviously can agree or disagree) was to help photographers to better understand things from the perspective of models.

Rather than looking at this with an open mind and trying to learn from models sharing their perspectives, you are still trying to blindly argue that you are right and anyone who does not agree with you is wrong and making excuses.

HOW can you improve your communications when you seem unable or unwilling to consider that YOU and your opinion are NOT the only things that matter.

As I said previously, the fact that you seem obsessed with trying to prove that your view is correct and that anyone who does not agree with you is wrong is also A HUGE REASON behind why so many models choose not to reply, because they simply don't want to deal with photographers trying to convince them that they are making a huge mistake.

Obviously I cannot speak for models, but your closed-minded, "I don't need to learn anything" from models attitude displayed in this thread has changed my opinion of you, and it has not been for the better.

The fact that you would interject a reference to a model whose husband died as ammunition for trying to win your argument leads me to believe that you are NOT the expert on proper communications that you seem to have convinced yourself that you are.

This literally saddens me that you seem so closed-minded in this matter, and so insensitive that you put your opinion and your feelings ahead of someone who was obviously going through one of the greatest heartbreaks of her life.

To narcissistically put yourself/your feelings first like that, AND to think that it is somehow appropriate to bring up in this discussion is so disappointing and unspeakably disturbing.

Hmmm ,,, we actually agree on something

though I wonder why you have this thing for analogies involving horses , donkeys etc



( inside joke )

DougBPhoto wrote:

I think everyone here understood your view a couple pages and a few hand-fulls of posts ago.

What you do NOT seem to grasp is that your view is NOT going to change anything, and beating your drum like a does nothing other than to continue to be intentionally argumentative and completely oblivious to the purpose of the thread.

You quoted what I said, yet you seemed to pay absolutely NO attention to comprehending what I said in it, otherwise you would not have included comments in your reply that proved why what I was saying has so much relevance, yet it appears you remain happily and completely clueless.

My respectful suggestion to you is to WIDEN your view and think longer about OTHER PEOPLE's views so you can better understand things NOT just from your view, but even MORE importantly, understand things from OTHER people's perspectives.

The underlying point of this thread (and MelissaAnn obviously can agree or disagree) was to help photographers to better understand things from the perspective of models.

Rather than looking at this with an open mind and trying to learn from models sharing their perspectives, you are still trying to blindly argue that you are right and anyone who does not agree with you is wrong and making excuses.

HOW can you improve your communications when you seem unable or unwilling to consider that YOU and your opinion are NOT the only things that matter.

As I said previously, the fact that you seem obsessed with trying to prove that your view is correct and that anyone who does not agree with you is wrong is also A HUGE REASON behind why so many models choose not to reply, because they simply don't want to deal with photographers trying to convince them that they are making a huge mistake.

Obviously I cannot speak for models, but your closed-minded, "I don't need to learn anything" from models attitude displayed in this thread has changed my opinion of you, and it has not been for the better.

The fact that you would interject a reference to a model whose husband died as ammunition for trying to win your argument leads me to believe that you are NOT the expert on proper communications that you seem to have convinced yourself that you are.

This literally saddens me that you seem so closed-minded in this matter, and so insensitive that you put your opinion and your feelings ahead of someone who was obviously going through one of the greatest heartbreaks of her life.

To narcissistically put yourself/your feelings first like that, AND to think that it is somehow appropriate to bring up in this discussion is so disappointing and unspeakably disturbing.

Doug, how can I know how someone feels unless they reply.   If I say something that offends you should you not say so?   You have made my comments personal and that saddens me because I thought better of you.   If I ask a model to work with me and she doesn't want too should she ignore that request or reply.   That is the bottom line.   Its not about my being closed minded its if she should reply.   No one is obligated too of course.   My story was too illustrate that my question which meant no harm was taken the wrong way by the model.   A person who apologized to me for going off a few months later.

I didn't say anyone was wrong by the way.   People see things from their own perspectives.   Nor did I say that models don't have anything to teach me.   Again the crux is.   In my view a respectfully asked request deserves a reply.   Even if that reply is to say no thank you.   I am no expert on anything.   Never said I was.   I really did think you were better then this though.   Several months ago a MM model posted how she wanted to shoot with a photographer who she wrote.   He said yes, but she went to the hospital and couldn't reply.   She had read his response and when she didn't write back quickly enough he wrote her again to put her on blast and blocked her so she couldn't explain herself.

When a model doesn't reply there may be many reasons why.   If you don't want to work with someone then say so but ignoring them will have the same effect.   I am a bit sad you made this personal.   I really thought better of you.   So I guess were both disappointed in each other.   I'll avoid you from now on.   Cheers.

DougBPhoto wrote:
I think everyone here understood your view a couple pages and a few hand-fulls of posts ago.

What you do NOT seem to grasp is that your view is NOT going to change anything, and beating your drum like a does nothing other than to continue to be intentionally argumentative and completely oblivious to the purpose of the thread.

You quoted what I said, yet you seemed to pay absolutely NO attention to comprehending what I said in it, otherwise you would not have included comments in your reply that proved why what I was saying has so much relevance, yet it appears you remain happily and completely clueless.

My respectful suggestion to you is to WIDEN your view and think longer about OTHER PEOPLE's views so you can better understand things NOT just from your view, but even MORE importantly, understand things from OTHER people's perspectives.

The underlying point of this thread (and MelissaAnn obviously can agree or disagree) was to help photographers to better understand things from the perspective of models.

Rather than looking at this with an open mind and trying to learn from models sharing their perspectives, you are still trying to blindly argue that you are right and anyone who does not agree with you is wrong and making excuses.

HOW can you improve your communications when you seem unable or unwilling to consider that YOU and your opinion are NOT the only things that matter.

As I said previously, the fact that you seem obsessed with trying to prove that your view is correct and that anyone who does not agree with you is wrong is also A HUGE REASON behind why so many models choose not to reply, because they simply don't want to deal with photographers trying to convince them that they are making a huge mistake.

Obviously I cannot speak for models, but your closed-minded, "I don't need to learn anything" from models attitude displayed in this thread has changed my opinion of you, and it has not been for the better.

The fact that you would interject a reference to a model whose husband died as ammunition for trying to win your argument leads me to believe that you are NOT the expert on proper communications that you seem to have convinced yourself that you are.

This literally saddens me that you seem so closed-minded in this matter, and so insensitive that you put your opinion and your feelings ahead of someone who was obviously going through one of the greatest heartbreaks of her life.

To narcissistically put yourself/your feelings first like that, AND to think that it is somehow appropriate to bring up in this discussion is so disappointing and unspeakably disturbing.

You are absolutely right, Doug, but he probably won't read or comprehend any of this.  He is intent on making the exact same points that have already been heard, and logically addressed multiple times.  Clearly he thinks that his opinion on this matter may change how all of the models on MM operate, or he just likes arguing for the sake.

You made a fantastic point earlier, and people exactly like Tony are one of many reasons why a lot of models don't respond to all their messages.  Some people just can't let stuff go, and feel the need to have a pointless and never-ending dialogue about something that should have been done in a couple of sentences.

Garry k wrote:
Hmmm ,,, we actually agree on something

though I wonder why you have this thing for analogies involving horses , donkeys etc



( inside joke )

Glad to agree with you for a change.

I considered posting a "Cliffs Notes" version of the response to Tony:

WTF

but I went with the long version.

DougBPhoto wrote:

Glad to agree with you for a change.

I considered posting a "Cliffs Notes" version of the response to Tony:

WTF

but I went with the long version.

I have to say this thread has made my otherwise dull night incredibly entertaining. I think you should post the Cliff Notes version anyway.

Alyssa Lovelle wrote:

I have to say this thread has made my otherwise dull night incredibly entertaining. I think you should post the Cliff Notes version anyway.

While not my intent, I am glad if I could somehow help to keep you entertained.

If we could reach through our computers and touch others in the forums (or PMs), I think there would be a massive outbreak of "shaken photographer syndrome".

MelissaAnn  wrote:

Not justifying anything, simply providing reasons.

I'd have to agree, nothing rude about the original post. Frick if I were in a models position and had some of the same things said to me I'd do the same thing... Creepy never equals good.

MelissaAnn  wrote:
Another person who's butthurt at the lack of response from llamas here.  Thanks for bringing up a point that hasn't already been beat to death.   This thread isn't about butthurt photographers, or how you guys feel about it.  We already know.  This thread is about real reasons why not all llamas respond to messages.  Some photographers may be able to learn from such information.

Throwing a tantrum in this thread doesn't help your cause, and it's certainly not going to change the reality that not all llamas are going to respond to your messages.

It is easy to turn responses around, and make it sound like someone is "butthurt." That still does not take away from the reality that there are no reasons - only excuses.

I don't see one good reason to justify why someone has to be rude and not reply to others.  I gave the only reason why I have not responded to others in the past.

I admit that it sounds lame, but driving while reading messages is just about the only valid reason I would have for not responding to someone. Everything else is just speculation and assumptions about someone I have never met in person.

So far every "reason" that I read is just an excuse for being rude to others.

My advice to others that feel they have to justify their rude behavior:

Just tell the truth. Either you're not interested, or you FORGOT to respond to the message, but all of those reasons are just speculations.

As I mentioned before, and I will mention it again.

You can stop a conversation with someone over rude behavior, but when the conversation has not even started then the only rude person is the one not responding.

If it touches a nerve, then read into my reply what you wish, but there is no justification for rude behavior, only rude people trying to justify their lack of breeding.

MnPhoto wrote:
It is easy to turn responses around, and make it sound like someone is "butthurt." That still does not take away from the reality that there are no reasons - only excuses.

I don't see one good reason to justify why someone has to be rude and not reply to others.  I gave the only reason why I have not responded to others in the past.

I admit that it sounds lame, but driving while reading messages is just about the only valid reason I would have for not responding to someone. Everything else is just speculation and assumptions about someone I have never met in person.

So far every "reason" that I read is just an excuse for being rude to others.

My advice to others that feel they have to justify their rude behavior:

Just tell the truth. Either you're not interested, or you FORGOT to respond to the message, but all of those reasons are just speculations.

As I mentioned before, and I will mention it again.

You can stop a conversation with someone over rude behavior, but when the conversation has not even started then the only rude person is the one not responding.

If it touches a nerve, then read into my reply what you wish, but there is no justification for rude behavior, only rude people trying to justify their lack of breeding.

Touches a nerve?  Nope.  I'm very confident in the way I handle my business, extremely successful, and will continue doing exactly as I have.

You thinking a lack of response to an unsolicited offer is "rude" does not make it so.  There are several others here who do not see it as rude. 

Perhaps you may want to consider that sometimes there are opinions, other than your own, that may just be right.

....or continue with your narcissism.  No skin off my nose, either way. 

MelissaAnn  wrote:
Touches a nerve?  Nope.  I'm very confident in the way I handle my business, extremely successful, and will continue doing exactly as I have.

You thinking a lack of response to an unsolicited offer is "rude" does not make it so.  There are several others here who do not see it as rude. 

Perhaps you may want to consider that sometimes there are opinions, other than your own, that may just be right.

....or continue with your narcissism.  No skin off my nose, either way. 

See...there you go again. Projecting behavior in order to try to justify your argument, by pointing out the other person's views come from irate behavior.


This thread is about reasons for not responding, as if they can be justified.

None exist.

You are either well mannered and you respond, or you are ill mannered and ignore people.

Coming up with hair-brained reasons to justify rude behavior does not change the fact that the behavior was rude.

I addressed the OP's points one by one, in order to show what the proper response might be, when you are contacted for the first time by someone.

The other points (Reasons for Ending a Conversation) didn't need any elaboration. It goes without saying that if someone behaves toward you in any manner that is rude, or makes you feel uncomfortable, then you have every right to end a conversation.

I know that there is always some contention between models and photographers when it comes to how they perceive each other, but it is mostly due to miscommunications or just plain rude behavior.

The rude behavior can be intentional, but in my experience it has more to do with people not knowing when they are being rude, as is obvious by some of the comments in this thread.

I am going to quote this, because it think it deserves special attention:

MelissaAnn  wrote:
...
You thinking a lack of response to an unsolicited offer is "rude" does not make it so.  There are several others here who do not see it as rude.

As I stated earlier, I could care less if someone does not respond, my issue is with the "informative reasons" that are being presented as valid justifications for what is nothing short of arrogance.

One more thing, I wouldn't call new messages "unsolicited", especially when creating a public profile screams "MESSAGE ME."

Damianne wrote:
I may stop responding if the photographer doesn't answer my questions and/or refuses to provide details so I feel like I'm pulling teeth.

See? THAT is a valid reason to stop responding, but getting to that point requires that you reply to someone.

Speculating about someone that has written to you for the first time without getting past the first exchange of messages, is less of a reason, and more of a way to try to make yourself feel better about being rude.

I say to people:

"I apologize for not replying to you right after I read your message. I intended to do it sooner" OR "I forgot that I had already opened your message, without responding right away."

That's it.

No BS. No lame excuses. Just state what happened and move on.

If everyone would stop and read what they write, and stop empathizing blindly everytime someone starts a nutty "Why I Feel Being Rude is Justifiable" post like this one, there would be more professionalism on this website.

Someone implied earlier that if you are from another country, then you may have a different take on this topic. I have news for you: There are still people in the USA that learned good manners from their parents.

MnPhoto wrote:
See? THAT is a valid reason to stop responding, but getting to that point requires that you reply to someone.

That's kind of a stupid observation.

Edit: no, like, judgement on YOUR intelligence, just the statement seems overwhelmingly obvious and implied.

DougBPhoto wrote:
Why am I picturing a number of posters in this thread throwing themselves to the ground in a crying fit (or demanding to see the manager), just because the greeter at WalMart did not reply to them saying "Hi".

At this point it's more like a greeter at WalMart may or may not have replied to someone's "Hi" at some point ever.

Damianne wrote:
At this point it's more like a greeter at WalMart may or may not have replied to someone's "Hi" at some point ever.

There seems to be a rash of hurt butts

Damianne wrote:

That's kind of a stupid observation.

Edit: no, like, judgement on YOUR intelligence, just the statement seems overwhelmingly obvious and implied.

Well, you felt it necessary to make a sefl-evident statement, and I agreed that it is a valid reason to not continue a conversation.

At this point, I think it is futile to try to get any points across.  After the first 2 pages of arguments, it became evident that this thread had derailed.  I am not going to read the entire thread, but I am sure some reference to Nazis already came up.

MnPhoto wrote:

Well, you felt it necessary to make a sefl-evident statement, and I agreed that it is a valid reason to not continue a conversation.

At this point, I think it is futile to try to get any points across.  After the first 2 pages of arguments, it became evident that this thread had derailed.  I am not going to read the entire thread, but I am sure some reference to Nazis already came up.

I was actually responding to the OP, not continuing the derail. That's what you're doing. Now I'm just amused that you're so obsessed with the argument.