Jesus walks through heaven when he sees this old man sitting on the side of the road and is crying bitterly.
Jesus walks over to him, lays a hand on the old man's shoulder and speaks softly "Good man, why are you crying? You are in heaven now, you should be happy and singing and enjoying eternity!"
The old man, looks up, with eyes red from the tears and sobs... "I have lost my son... and without him, I can't enjoy paradise..."
Jesus says: "Well... you see, I am walking through heaven all the time... so, if you tell me what your son looks like, I will look for him, and when I see him, I will tell you that you are looking for him."
The old man, a glimmer of hope in his eyes, raises his hands and looks at them... and days, still sobbing: "Well... he has holes in his hands and in his feet!"
So... Jesus... with huge joy in his heart, looks down on the man and exclaims: "FATHER!!!" and the old man is full of joy and reaches up and replies: "PINOCCHIO!!!"
You do realize that crucifixion is beyond inhumane... I am a firm believer that humor has an enormous power to bring to our attention all kinds of gross human negligence, but humour at the expense of people who were forced to sacrifice their lives because of that negligence is far from tactful.
Alexey Sky wrote: You do realize that crucifixion is beyond inhumane... I am a firm believer that humor has an enormous power to bring to our attention all kinds of gross human negligence, but humour at the expense of people who were forced to sacrifice their lives because of that negligence is far from tactful.
Actually crucified people were bound to the crosses, not nailed (nails pushed through the extremities would never hold a human body in position). That's just a bloody, but fake detail the Roman-Catholic PR machine added later on for dramatic purposes.
The Church came up with many torture devices of their own that made the Romans look like humanists.
Alexey Sky wrote: You do realize that crucifixion is beyond inhumane... I am a firm believer that humor has an enormous power to bring to our attention all kinds of gross human negligence, but humour at the expense of people who were forced to sacrifice their lives because of that negligence is far from tactful.
You also realize that the depiction and description of the crucifixion of Jesus was an incorrect vague description by a bunch of people who had never seen a real crucifixion and based on second or third hand accounts they had heard from others.
Tonic Dog Studios wrote: Is this a joke? Is it meant to be funny?
Is it commentary? An allegory?
Or just some short story that really doesn't make sense but allows anti-Christians another excuse to wallow in and masturbate to their hatred?
I just read it as an irreverent joke. I've known priests and ministers who would retell that joke and enjoy it.
Kinda like the drunk who staggers into the Catholic church, knocking over pews, staggering against the wall, finally finds the confessional, and goes into one side. The priest sees him, feels sorry for the poor desperate man, goes to his station, takes his seat, and slides open the door.
"Can I help you, my son?" the priest asks softly.
"I dunno," slurs the inebriant. "You got any paper on that side?"
Evan Hiltunen
Posts: 2,866
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US
Alexey Sky wrote: You do realize that crucifixion is beyond inhumane... I am a firm believer that humor has an enormous power to bring to our attention all kinds of gross human negligence, but humour at the expense of people who were forced to sacrifice their lives because of that negligence is far from tactful.
Perhaps, it is inhumane but it is very much human.
OTOH, didn't Lenny Bruce say something like, "If Jesus were alive today, we'd all have little electric chairs hanging from our necks"?
Alexey Sky wrote: You do realize that crucifixion is beyond inhumane... I am a firm believer that humor has an enormous power to bring to our attention all kinds of gross human negligence, but humour at the expense of people who were forced to sacrifice their lives because of that negligence is far from tactful.
Well... Alexey...
You see... I am writing my artist name in all lower case... as a reminder not to take myself too serious!
Reading your "finger raised, holier than thou" response to a joke that many people find funny, because it deals also with cultural understandings and cross references... show me that you are taking yourself waaayyyy tooo serious...
It also shows that you really don't have a clue about religious history etc... just take a look what Katarina is writing about the cruci-fiction method...
Gianantonio
Posts: 7,639
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US
Alexey Sky wrote: You do realize that crucifixion is beyond inhumane... I am a firm believer that humor has an enormous power to bring to our attention all kinds of gross human negligence, but humour at the expense of people who were forced to sacrifice their lives because of that negligence is far from tactful.
Wake up, dude. Pinocchio and Jesus are stories--not real people...
udor wrote: Jesus walks through heaven when he sees this old man sitting on the side of the road and is crying bitterly.
Jesus walks over to him, lays a hand on the old man's shoulder and speaks softly "Good man, why are you crying? You are in heaven now, you should be happy and singing and enjoying eternity!"
The old man, looks up, with eyes red from the tears and sobs... "I have lost my son... and without him, I can't enjoy paradise..."
Jesus says: "Well... you see, I am walking through heaven all the time... so, if you tell me what your son looks like, I will look for him, and when I see him, I will tell you that you are looking for him."
The old man, a glimmer of hope in his eyes, raises his hands and looks at them... and days, still sobbing: "Well... he has holes in his hands and in his feet!"
So... Jesus... with huge joy in his heart, looks down on the man and exclaims: "FATHER!!!" and the old man is full of joy and reaches up and replies: "PINOCCHIO!!!"
Alexey Sky wrote: You do realize that crucifixion is beyond inhumane... I am a firm believer that humor has an enormous power to bring to our attention all kinds of gross human negligence, but humour at the expense of people who were forced to sacrifice their lives because of that negligence is far from tactful.
Actually crucified people were bound to the crosses, not nailed (nails pushed through the extremities would never hold a human body in position). That's just a bloody, but fake detail the Roman-Catholic PR machine added later on for dramatic purposes.
The Church came up with many torture devices of their own that made the Romans look like humanists.
I just read it as an irreverent joke. I've known priests and ministers who would retell that joke and enjoy it.
Kinda like the drunk who staggers into the Catholic church, knocking over pews, staggering against the wall, finally finds the confessional, and goes into one side. The priest sees him, feels sorry for the poor desperate man, goes to his station, takes his seat, and slides open the door.
"Can you help you, my son?" the priest asks softly.
"I dunno," slurs the inebriant. "You got any paper on that side?"
Gianantonio wrote: Wake up, dude. Pinocchio and Jesus are stories--not real people...
Please don't insult billions of peoples beliefs .. Please re state "in my opinion Pinocchio and Jesus are stories-not real people" Because what you stated is just that, your opinion. Not that of billions of people who actually do believe in the creator of all that is and will be, and Jesus.
Alexey Sky wrote: You do realize that crucifixion is beyond inhumane... I am a firm believer that humor has an enormous power to bring to our attention all kinds of gross human negligence, but humour at the expense of people who were forced to sacrifice their lives because of that negligence is far from tactful.
Jesus = just a sorry. Lighten up.
The little mermaid didn't really have to walk on broken glass either.
Gianantonio
Posts: 7,639
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US
photographybyStavros wrote:
Please don't insult billions of peoples beliefs .. Please re state "in my opinion Pinocchio and Jesus are stories-not real people" Because what you stated is just that, your opinion. Not that of billions of people who actually do believe in the creator of all that is and will be, and Jesus.
The truth is never an insult.
And do you really think the Pinocchio story really happened!?
Gianantonio wrote: Wake up, dude. Pinocchio and Jesus are stories--not real people...
photographybyStavros wrote: Please don't insult billions of peoples beliefs .. Please re state "in my opinion Pinocchio and Jesus are stories-not real people" Because what you stated is just that, your opinion. Not that of billions of people who actually do believe in the creator of all that is and will be, and Jesus.
And besides, whether or not you believe that Jesus is the Son of God, he DID historically exist. Records have been found that show that.
Gianantonio wrote: Wake up, dude. Pinocchio and Jesus are stories--not real people...
photographybyStavros wrote: Please don't insult billions of peoples beliefs .. Please re state "in my opinion Pinocchio and Jesus are stories-not real people" Because what you stated is just that, your opinion. Not that of billions of people who actually do believe in the creator of all that is and will be, and Jesus.
I have mixed feelings about that. A prayer for a gag order because over a billion people believe something else?
udor wrote: Jesus walks through heaven when he sees this old man sitting on the side of the road and is crying bitterly.
Jesus walks over to him, lays a hand on the old man's shoulder and speaks softly "Good man, why are you crying? You are in heaven now, you should be happy and singing and enjoying eternity!"
The old man, looks up, with eyes red from the tears and sobs... "I have lost my son... and without him, I can't enjoy paradise..."
Jesus says: "Well... you see, I am walking through heaven all the time... so, if you tell me what your son looks like, I will look for him, and when I see him, I will tell you that you are looking for him."
The old man, a glimmer of hope in his eyes, raises his hands and looks at them... and days, still sobbing: "Well... he has holes in his hands and in his feet!"
So... Jesus... with huge joy in his heart, looks down on the man and exclaims: "FATHER!!!" and the old man is full of joy and reaches up and replies: "PINOCCHIO!!!"
HAHAHA! this is funny.
Everyone else lighten up.
Jesus was real.
he was some brown dude with short hair that lived a couple thousand years ago.
the church was corrupt.
he spoke out against it.
got killed for opening his mouth.
he died.
centuries later people painted him to look like a long haired white hippy.
he had no super powers.
but was an important person in history.
the story of Pinocchio is also enjoyed by millions of people.
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