Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
Ash Photographic wrote:
If you set your standards high enough then at least you'll never have to deal with rejection  This is a wise thing to say.
In fact, when people have a laundry list of specific qualifications they can't seem to find, it is a subconscious defense mechanism to keep them from emotional intimacy, which means trying/vulnerability.
Photographer
In Balance Photography
Posts: 3378
Boston, Massachusetts, US
Jules NYC wrote:
I agree.
Things that weren't important to me before are important to me know.
These things all come from the same place. Do you know what will be important to you 20 years from now?
That's the real trick - figuring that out
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
In Balance Photography wrote:
Do you know what will be important to you 20 years from now?
That's the real trick - figuring that out How very true.
One thing I've already mastered is that hair is not important to me anymore.
For a straight female, I really loved long hair.
When I met the guy I thought was my equal last September, he had only two pictures up on OKCupid. He could have been bald for all I knew as he was wearing a hat in both images.
When he met me, he was still wearing a hat.
After our first kiss, he took it off and had beautiful, thick hair that was cut reminicent of Elvis or James Dean.
Model
BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
I have very high standards. But I'm ok with that.
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
DivaEroticus wrote:
I have very high standards. But I'm ok with that. My standards will keep me from having a physical or emotional affair.
If that means mine are 'too' high, maybe I'll be one of those people that never get married.
Photographer
In Balance Photography
Posts: 3378
Boston, Massachusetts, US
DivaEroticus wrote:
I have very high standards. But I'm ok with that. Ok - let's hear 'em !
Photographer
Llobet Photography
Posts: 4915
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, US
I have no standards. If I like someone I just like them. They don't have to be tall or short or blond or brunette or... There has to be an attraction of some sort. There are different levels of attraction too, in my opinion. Some people you like to talk to. Some you'd like to date. Some you'd like to, well, pounce on. Doesn't mean you're going to marry them all. Different folk for different strokes. 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
BlueMoonPics wrote:
I have no standards. If I like someone I just like them.
They don't have to be tall or short or blond or brunette or...
There has to be an attraction of some sort.
There are different levels of attraction too, in my opinion.
Some people you like to talk to. Some you'd like to date. Some you'd like to, well, pounce on. Doesn't mean you're going to marry them all.
Different folk for different strokes. Funny, I wouldn't bother dating anyone I wouldn't consider a potential husband.
Otherwise I'd just keep dating handsome musicians under 30/25.
No discernment is a major turn-off for me, ESP. guys that would fuck anything that moves.
Photographer
In Balance Photography
Posts: 3378
Boston, Massachusetts, US
Jules NYC wrote:
Funny, I wouldn't bother dating anyone I wouldn't consider a potential husband.
Otherwise I'd just keep dating handsome musicians under 30/25.
No discernment is a major turn-off for me, ESP. guys that would fuck anything that moves. How much do you know about a person before you go on a date with them?
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
In Balance Photography wrote:
How much do you know about a person before you go on a date with them? Good question.
My answer?
Not enough to my embarrassment.
Photographer
Lawrence Guy
Posts: 17716
San Diego Country Estates, California, US
In Balance Photography wrote:
How much do you know about a person before you go on a date with them? Isn't the point of dating to get to know a person?
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
Lawrence Guy wrote:
Isn't the point of dating to get to know a person? Yes.
The problem is getting too involved too quickly (emotionally/physically or both).
If you're wildly attracted to someone it is difficult to 'hold back'.
Plus, everyone paints a glorious picture from the start.
I'm pretty upfront and honest from the start.
I am sure men take advantage of this, hence knowing them more to assess where their head is at would be a smarter approach.
I want to know basics to start:
Ever been married?
Thoughts on marriage?
Have kids?
Ever donated sperm (can't believe that is now a standard question)?
Longest relationship?
Relationship with your parents?
Sisters/brothers?
Currently dating anyone?
Etc.
Photographer
In Balance Photography
Posts: 3378
Boston, Massachusetts, US
Jules NYC wrote:
Good question.
My answer?
Not enough to my embarrassment. I met my wife on a blind date (25 years ago). I'm in no position to be throwing stones.
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
In Balance Photography wrote:
I met my wife on a blind date (25 years ago). I'm in no position to be throwing stones.
She must be a nice person with no hangups.
What I am looking for, sans questions.
Photographer
In Balance Photography
Posts: 3378
Boston, Massachusetts, US
Jules NYC wrote:
She must be a nice person with no hangups.
What I am looking for, sans questions. Hangups? Who knows ? One persons hang up may be considered charm by another.
Model
BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
In Balance Photography wrote:
Ok - let's hear 'em ! LOL...I already put people off.
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
In Balance Photography wrote:
Hangups? Who knows ? One persons hang up may be considered charm by another. Well, I don't want baggage.
Seems like most men have a lot.
I have no interest in someone lamenting over a past relationship.
I don't want a boatload of disagreement and discord that someone hasn't worked through.
Nothing kills a relationship faster than drudging up bullshit that should be kept in the past.
Photographer
Lightcraft Studio
Posts: 13682
Las Vegas, Nevada, US
I think that like virtually any living creature, our DNA is wired to make us try to choose the mate that will best help us and our offspring best survive. We can get easily led astray by misleading influences in life, especially today with all the fake stuff the media produces, etc. Some are more confused by these external stimulae than others, and lose time as a result.
Artist/Painter
Two Pears Studio
Posts: 3632
Wilmington, Delaware, US
Standards are an artificial limit people put on that is about looking good. It is about ignorance.
It is also about economics and business...
It is usually a conversation that is given to us by culture, family or circumstance.
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
Two Pears Studio wrote:
Standards are an artificial limit people put on that is about looking good. It is about ignorance.
It is also about economics and business...
It is usually a conversation that is given to us by culture, family or circumstance. Some people have standards that have nothing to do with what society or what our family 'want' for us.
Artist/Painter
Two Pears Studio
Posts: 3632
Wilmington, Delaware, US
Jules NYC wrote:
Well, I don't want baggage.
Seems like most men have a lot.
I have no interest in someone lamenting over a past relationship.
I don't want a boatload of disagreement and discord that someone hasn't worked through.
Nothing kills a relationship faster than drudging up bullshit that should be kept in the past. you either want a veal or a Buddha. A person who is complete with their past is rare. Not impossible, but rare. Most people carry their past into their future and don't see it. That is why it is so rare.
Maybe you are talking about his past clashing with yours? Or his future being given by a past that doesn't work?
Artist/Painter
Two Pears Studio
Posts: 3632
Wilmington, Delaware, US
Jules NYC wrote:
Some people have standards that have nothing to do with what society or what our family 'want' for us. like?
Model
BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
Two Pears Studio wrote:
Standards are an artificial limit people put on that is about looking good. It is about ignorance.
It is also about economics and business...
It is usually a conversation that is given to us by culture, family or circumstance. For me, it's what turns me on. It's less to do with looks and more to do with attitude and confidence. I've said before that for me to date someone, he has to be three things (in no particular order): Tall, intelligent, and dominant.
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
Two Pears Studio wrote:
you either want a veal or a Buddha. A person who is complete with their past is rare. Not impossible, but rare. Most people carry their past into their future and don't see it. That is why it is so rare.
Maybe you are talking about his past clashing with yours? Or his future being given by a past that doesn't work? Not at all.
If I love someone, I want to know about all of their past.
What I find is men who aren't over their past girlfriend/s.
If they were, I wouldn't be the sounding-board for their unresolved issues.
A man that is healthy, free and clear to have a relationship lives in the present and future.
Once a real commitment is established, then sure, tell me how everyone was incompatible with you, not dwell in regret and sadness.
Model
BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
Jules NYC wrote:
Some people have standards that have nothing to do with what society or what our family 'want' for us. Ed Zachary.
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
Model
BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
Jules NYC wrote:
http://www.edzachary.com/2007/03/ed-zac … e.html?m=1
My Mom thought the guy I last dated was gorgeous.
Too bad he wasn't mature enough.
I respect my Mother; not only is she beautiful, she is intelligent and kind.  @ the link! I just learned something! 
Model
Damianne
Posts: 15978
Austin, Texas, US
I have high standards.
It hasn't stopped me from finding someone.
Model
Damianne
Posts: 15978
Austin, Texas, US
Two Pears Studio wrote:
Standards are an artificial limit people put on that is about looking good. It is about ignorance.
It is also about economics and business...
It is usually a conversation that is given to us by culture, family or circumstance. lolwut
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
DivaEroticus wrote:
@ the link! I just learned something!
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
Add: Likes Bloody Marys and doesn't bitch shoveling snow - just dug my car out from an igloo and now at a sports at drinking such awaiting French Toast and strawberries Sans bitching/complaint Oh and I just learned the reason for my migraine for the last two days was from a drop in the Barometric pressure Cliff Clavin at the bar
Model
BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
DivaEroticus wrote:
For me, it's what turns me on. It's less to do with looks and more to do with attitude and confidence. I've said before that for me to date someone, he has to be three things (in no particular order): Tall, intelligent, and dominant. I'm going to add: Well-mannered, and not a dick.
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
DivaEroticus wrote:
I'm going to add: Well-mannered, and not a dick. Good manners are a turn-on.
Model
BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
Jules NYC wrote:
Good manners are a turn-on. I know people who are well-mannered, but STILL a dick, which is why I put those two things together.
Retoucher
Natalia_Taffarel
Posts: 7665
Buenos Aires, Buenos Aires, Argentina
I want someone that I find interesting enough to spend my time with and have great sex to find me interesting enough to want to spend his time with me and have great sex.
I don't understand "Standards"
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
DivaEroticus wrote:
I know people who are well-mannered, but STILL a dick, which is why I put those two things together. I admit I can be an asshole at oft times... Only when provoked and I have no problem with that.
I'm a Leo
Comes with the territory
... yet provoked, I'm just defending myself unmercifully:)
Model
BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
Jules NYC wrote:
I admit I can be an asshole at oft times... Only when provoked and I have no problem with that.
I'm a Leo
Comes with the territory
... yet provoked, I'm just defending myself unmercifully:) I'm talking about the ones who just are...because they're dicks. Not because there's some sort of defense mechanism kicking in.
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 21617
New York, New York, US
DivaEroticus wrote:
I'm talking about the ones who just are...because they're dicks. Not because there's some sort of defense mechanism kicking in. Totally with you there
Model
J Emma
Posts: 51
MONROE TOWNSHIP, New Jersey, US
Jules NYC wrote:
I agree.
Things that weren't important to me before are important to me know.
These things all come from the same place. Ditto.. and I think when things don't work out with one person, You learn from why they didn't, and know more about what you're looking for next time.. so, "new standard" I guess.
Model
BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
Jules NYC wrote:
Totally with you there I've known one or two like that. I like to think I'm above railing at someone (thus being a dick myself) just because they're one...LOL. I know my penis is bigger, so why bother?
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