Uni starts up again super soon. I'm pretty damn keen to get back to a regular routine of books and friends. But it makes me sad to think of where I was this time last year..

I had just moved in with my boyfriend into our own flat, three minutes from the university. I was working at EB Games. I had just gotten my license and I was planning my eighteenth birthday. My boyfriend and I were so incredibly crazy in love too, which was amazing.

Now.. I'm living at my mums house again. I'm not having a party or going out or anything to celebrate my nineteenth. I will travel over an hour to and from my Uni three days a week. Oh and my absolutely polar opposite to me sister is back in the country and is coming to stay.

I don't actually know whether or not I've grown as a person. I feel less likely to just go out and do something because I want to. Less confident in myself. And I'm jealous of how my previous relationship felt, even though I'm with the same man again much has changed. I probably have less money now than I did then. I've less friends that I feel close to...

Gosh, this was supposed to be a happy comparison. One thing that's a semi positive is that if my relationship ended tomorrow I wouldn't be that torn up about it. We are on different paths and I am not moving to Japan with him when he goes in six months time. I don't even know if my body has really improved that much over the year... my boobs are bigger though so I guess that's a win.

Oh well, I'm one step closer to being a 20 year old with a uni degree. Hopefully next year I'll have my own place again. My new fish are cool.

When people are young, they just want to get older.

Once people start getting older and discover what it is like, they miss how things were when they were younger.

It sounds like you're discovering the ebbs and flows of life, and why it is important to focus on the things that make us happy.

You've got tons of potential and a lot of people here adore you, so don't forget to include that in your reflections.

Can't complain about the bigger boobs either!!  (Yeah, like that was gonna go untouched) 

^^ I love everything you wrote California. I've 10 days before university resumes. I'm working this evening, and tomorrow afternoon from 12. I'll find out my shifts for next week tomorrow. I've spent the majority of my day doing yoga between loading email attachments. I hate just sitting around waiting for things to happen.