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Model
Trish Salyers
Posts: 132
Inez, Kentucky, US


I want to be sure I am presenting myself in the best way possible so my bio needed updating. Here is what I have come up with and I want a serious critique, rip me apart if I need it but also if it's not too much trouble help me improve smile

    Hello Lovelies,
   Please take the time to read my portfolio I strongly believe that getting to know one another is simple and I have done my best to show you who I am smile
   
  First of all I'd like to introduce myself, Hi! my name is Patricia and I am pleased to make your acquaintance. I joined MM to pursue my dream of becoming an established model, as well as to meet talented, intriguing and fun people. I am the type who likes to cut loose and be upbeat and maybe a tad goofy but I work hard and I take work seriously. 
  I am still new to modeling but I do my best to practice and hone the art of posing and presentation, I spend as much time practicing as I can in front of the mirror or even when I am walking around, because I believe that since photographers, MUAs, Hairstylist have put a lot of time and work into honing their skills so I should as well. I am from a small town and look forward to traveling.

What Attracts me to a photographer:
-The personality conveyed through your work.
-Unique styles and concepts.
-The personality conveyed in your Bios.
-I love to connect with everyone so when a photographer makes an effort to connect with me, consider me intrigued, honored and delighted.

Styles that Intrigue me:
-Steampunk. I absolutely love this style.
-Gothic, there is just something about the style that is so dark and beautiful.
-Pinup and vintage, I just think it is such a cute a fun style
-Surreal, as someone who has always loved to draw and sculpt surrealism has always caught my eyes.
-Color, bright and vibrant colors are usually the first thing to catch my attention in any portfolio.
-Softness, I love light soft and whimsical images I find them beautiful and sweet.
-Captivating locations.
-Photographs that tell a story without the use of words, I grew up reading and writing and drawing  things so photographs like this are always pleasant and attractive to my eyes.

    Now for a real look of who I am. I'm from a small town in Kentucky but I grew up all over because I moved around a lot. On my own time I love to sit back listen to music and play games with my friends. My absolute favorite is either World of Warcraft, DayZ or League of Legends. In fact some day when I finish my costume concepts I would love to do a project involving any of those. I like to go around bouncing about singing my favorite songs and quoting Doctor Who or my Favorite Anime.I like relaxing with my favorite snack and bad movies because I find them fun and entertaining. I love going to Anime, Gaming and Comic conventions. I love to read, and write my own stories. I love to draw both digitally and with a pen a paper. I love the outdoors, they refresh and relax me, but I also love urban scenery, because something about it seems artistic to me. That about sums me up.

    For me modeling is not only a dream but an art. If you would like to work with me I would be honored so send a message or drop me a line and let us inspire one another and create art together.

Thank you for your time,

Patricia





I look forward to any an all of your critiques bot positive as well as your criticism.
Apr 20 13 10:54 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
EDITSandIMAGES
Posts: 76
West Palm Beach, Florida, US


Hello Patricia...

I understand, and, respect your interest in your bio, and, please don't take this the wrong way...you opened yourself up for opinions...so, here is mine. It is important to have a bio, but, rarely does anyone bother to read a bio (especially a very lengthy one), before looking at the actual  portfolio, and, determining if the "look" is there first. Patricia, think about it! MM is designed primarily for models/photographers/agents/editors/MUAs/wardrobe, both professional and aspiring, to network. I don't think it was intended to be a social networking site for making friends (I'm sure it happens, and, I think that's great if it does). But, in terms of the primary purpose of this site, aesthetics is at least 87% of the game. AESTHETICS. It's certainly ok to put a lot of work into your bio...but, don't expect it to help you qualify (very often), if your portfolio and the aesthetics aren't there first...Put your efforts in improvements to your avatar image, and, your portfolio first...get that in place, and, then....when doing your BIO, edit carefully. Be thorough, but, concise. In the meantime...best of luck to you. When used properly, this site can be very helpful in your introductory stages. I trust I wasn't too critical of your question...just offering my opinion, and, as others have said...take it in stride...there are a billion different opinions on this site...and, in the modeling world...hearing them here, will help you thicken your skin for the brutal comments and rejections you well get "face to face" at the "cattle calls". Have fun!

Stay focused,

EDITSandIMAGES
Apr 24 13 08:45 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Square Jaw Photography
Posts: 362
Odenton, Maryland, US


Id get rid of the whole "about me" section. This section...

"Now for a real look of who I am. I'm from a small town in Kentucky but I grew up all over because I moved around a lot. On my own time I love to sit back listen to music and play games with my friends. My absolute favorite is either World of Warcraft, DayZ or League of Legends. In fact some day when I finish my costume concepts I would love to do a project involving any of those. I like to go around bouncing about singing my favorite songs and quoting Doctor Who or my Favorite Anime.I like relaxing with my favorite snack and bad movies because I find them fun and entertaining. I love going to Anime, Gaming and Comic conventions. I love to read, and write my own stories. I love to draw both digitally and with a pen a paper. I love the outdoors, they refresh and relax me, but I also love urban scenery, because something about it seems artistic to me. That about sums me up. "

This site is a networking site. None of this information about you is relevant to you being a model. Short is sweet. Let me know who you are, what concepts you're interested in, what you're willing and unwilling to do, travel, rates, etc.
Apr 24 13 09:43 am  Link  Quote 
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