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Photographer
Mad Hatter Imagery
Posts: 1,298
Buffalo, New York, US


I was wondering. If a guy had above average looks, had a good paying job, had a nice place of his own, and was charming, how much of an asshole would he need to be to nearly always get rejected? Examples?

Likewise what if a guy had below average looks, had a low paying job, didn't have his own place, and wasn't particularly charming however not offensive, how amazing would he need to be otherwise to get nearly any girl he sets out to date? Examples?


I'd like to apply the same questions to men commenting on women, but I don't think most guys care if a woman is a wattress of an astrophysicist. smile
May 05 13 07:57 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Evan Hiltunen
Posts: 3,135
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US


Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I was wondering. If a guy had above average looks, had a good paying job, had a nice place of his own, and was charming, how much of an asshole would he need to be to nearly always get rejected? Examples?

Likewise what if a guy had below average looks, had a low paying job, didn't have his own place, and wasn't particularly charming however not offensive, how amazing would he need to be otherwise to get nearly any girl he sets out to date? Examples?


I'd like to apply the same questions to men commenting on women, but I don't think most guys care if a woman is a wattress of an astrophysicist. smile

37 Azzerg units and 29 Amzug units.

Astrophysicist wattresses are better with wattles.

May 05 13 08:13 pm  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Damianne
Posts: 15,973
Austin, Texas, US


It all depends on who they want to date and what those people are in to.
It's people, not a math problem
May 05 13 08:15 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Jess Robinson
Posts: 4,948
Dallas, Texas, US


Damianne wrote:
It all depends on who they want to date and what those people are in to.
It's people, not a math problem

+1

And I'd add....you either got it or you don't, and if you don't you never will. 

What is it?  If I knew, I'd tell you, and my host of perfectly great guy friends that have absolutely no luck with women.

Its something like...charisma, confidence, a desire to live fully, willingness to put yourself out there, and sincerity all blended together.  The right concoction here overcomes most of the above listed 'shortcomings.'

I have historically dated men that don't make sense to most people.  They are have been age inappropriate, not so great looking, rather unemployed etc.  None of that matters when combined with the It factor.

But...no one gets to be a jerk.  Idc how good looking you are.

May 05 13 08:26 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Solas
Posts: 9,486
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


What is a "wattress"?
May 05 13 08:35 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Evan Hiltunen
Posts: 3,135
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US


Karl Johnston wrote:
What is a "wattress"?

"A wattress is something that's better with wattles", said Alice.

May 05 13 08:39 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
KonstantKarma
Posts: 2,513
Hickory, North Carolina, US


https://www2.elearning.rwth-aachen.de/help/_media/en/tips/latex/latex_example_math.png
May 05 13 08:41 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Jess Robinson
Posts: 4,948
Dallas, Texas, US


KonstantKarma wrote:
https://www2.elearning.rwth-aachen.de/help/_media/en/tips/latex/latex_example_math.png

the rectangle over the square

May 05 13 08:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Lohkee
Posts: 12,333
Maricopa, Arizona, US


Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I'd like to apply the same questions to men commenting on women, but I don't think most guys care if a woman is a wattress of an astrophysicist. smile

Well, I'm fat, bald, ugly, and yet, hot women want to bed me frequently (some seem really pissed that I'm not into cheating on my wife). Maybe it's **how** you relate to the ladies that really turns them on?

May 05 13 08:52 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Solas
Posts: 9,486
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


KonstantKarma wrote:
https://www2.elearning.rwth-aachen.de/help/_media/en/tips/latex/latex_example_math.png

wat.

May 05 13 08:59 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
T A Y L O R
Posts: 2,977
Austin, Texas, US


Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I was wondering. If a guy had above average looks, had a good paying job, had a nice place of his own, and was charming, how much of an asshole would he need to be to nearly always get rejected? Examples?

Likewise what if a guy had below average looks, had a low paying job, didn't have his own place, and wasn't particularly charming however not offensive, how amazing would he need to be otherwise to get nearly any girl he sets out to date? Examples?


I'd like to apply the same questions to men commenting on women, but I don't think most guys care if a woman is a wattress of an astrophysicist. smile

Basic social psych says that most people want to date others who are similar to them. It's hard to get along with someone who you have nothing in common with.

In terms of JUST dating, and not in terms of successful relationships, these things tend to balance out. If you're pretty average, a 5/10 all across the board, you'll typically find people of the opposite sex are attracted to you who are also ~5/10 across the board. Maybe they're a 4/10 in the looks department, but are a 6/10 in intellect. You get the point.

To be perfectly up front, and to make a totally uneducated guess about your situation just based on your forum posts: I would guess that you're looking to date women way above your pay grade. If you're averaging a 6/10, a 9/10 is not going to be interested in you. Shooting for that will lead to rejection.

May 05 13 10:36 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mad Hatter Imagery
Posts: 1,298
Buffalo, New York, US


T A Y L O R  wrote:
Basic social psych says that most people want to date others who are similar to them. It's hard to get along with someone who you have nothing in common with.

In terms of JUST dating, and not in terms of successful relationships, these things tend to balance out. If you're pretty average, a 5/10 all across the board, you'll typically find people of the opposite sex are attracted to you who are also ~5/10 across the board. Maybe they're a 4/10 in the looks department, but are a 6/10 in intellect. You get the point.

To be perfectly up front, and to make a totally uneducated guess about your situation just based on your forum posts: I would guess that you're looking to date women way above your pay grade. If you're averaging a 6/10, a 9/10 is not going to be interested in you. Shooting for that will lead to rejection.

I wouldn't say this post is entirely for my benefit. I thought it might be interesting to get a variety of answers. Actually if we are to measure  people in terms of numbers guys always have the tendancy to aim higher than they perceive themselves as being while women let others determine their number and they don't chance dating above that number often. Of course people prefer to date similar. But I am curious to know to what degree things like income, looks, and so forth are considered to be "real" factors in differences among all things that can be different. Particularly among so many less quantitative things.

May 05 13 10:46 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
T A Y L O R
Posts: 2,977
Austin, Texas, US


Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

I wouldn't say this post is entirely for my benefit. I thought it might be interesting to get a variety of answers. Actually if we are to measure  people in terms of numbers guys always have the tendancy to aim higher than they perceive themselves as being while women let others determine their number and they don't chance dating above that number often. Of course people prefer to date similar. But I am curious to know to what degree things like income, looks, and so forth are considered to be "real" factors in differences among all things that can be different. Particularly among so many less quantitative things.

Err, lol what? Where did you get that data from?

May 05 13 10:48 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
T A Y L O R
Posts: 2,977
Austin, Texas, US


Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

I wouldn't say this post is entirely for my benefit. I thought it might be interesting to get a variety of answers. Actually if we are to measure  people in terms of numbers guys always have the tendancy to aim higher than they perceive themselves as being while women let others determine their number and they don't chance dating above that number often. Of course people prefer to date similar. But I am curious to know to what degree things like income, looks, and so forth are considered to be "real" factors in differences among all things that can be different. Particularly among so many less quantitative things.

And to answer your second question, like lots of other people have said before in all your other dating threads, it completely depends on the individual. Some people really care about looks, others income, others your job, others your intellect.

It depends. I'm not sure what you're looking for here. People aren't a one-sized-fits-all group.

May 05 13 10:51 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Solas
Posts: 9,486
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


May 05 13 10:52 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Christopher Carter
Posts: 7,657
Indianapolis, Indiana, US


You can get rejected by anyone at anytime for anything big_smile

Ummm, so I hear.
May 05 13 10:55 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 16,096
New York, New York, US


Jess Robinson wrote:

+1

And I'd add....you either got it or you don't, and if you don't you never will. 

What is it?  If I knew, I'd tell you, and my host of perfectly great guy friends that have absolutely no luck with women.

Its something like...charisma, confidence, a desire to live fully, willingness to put yourself out there, and sincerity all blended together.  The right concoction here overcomes most of the above listed 'shortcomings.'

I have historically dated men that don't make sense to most people.  They are have been age inappropriate, not so great looking, rather unemployed etc.  None of that matters when combined with the It factor.

But...no one gets to be a jerk.  Idc how good looking you are.

I agree with this completely

May 06 13 03:49 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 16,096
New York, New York, US


...and to add:

You're not going to find 'it' by asking the same thing over and over in MM threads. It's as if your threads have a constant theme.
May 06 13 03:53 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Orca Bay Images
Posts: 32,233
Lodi, California, US


Dude. Quit approaching dating as if it were an actuarial table. People aren't numbers and social interaction isn't an algorithm.
May 06 13 06:17 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Carl Roberts
Posts: 32,952
Saint Petersburg, Florida, US


T A Y L O R  wrote:
Basic social psych says that most people want to date others who are similar to them. It's hard to get along with someone who you have nothing in common with.

In terms of JUST dating, and not in terms of successful relationships, these things tend to balance out. If you're pretty average, a 5/10 all across the board, you'll typically find people of the opposite sex are attracted to you who are also ~5/10 across the board. Maybe they're a 4/10 in the looks department, but are a 6/10 in intellect. You get the point.

To be perfectly up front, and to make a totally uneducated guess about your situation just based on your forum posts: I would guess that you're looking to date women way above your pay grade. If you're averaging a 6/10, a 9/10 is not going to be interested in you. Shooting for that will lead to rejection.

I totally disagree with this

I'm very much a 2/10 in the looks department
But I routinely date 9/10 up to and including 12/10's
In fact almost exclusively 8/10 or better

And I do exceptionally well at it

But I'm a charming fellow and I bring more to the table than just looks

May 06 13 06:23 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 24,529
Tampa, Florida, US


Somebody please post the link to the Ladder Theory for the Op
May 06 13 06:26 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Seker Pare
Posts: 186
Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia


assholes seem to get more dates anyway...

So, I could say that someone with less fortunate looks, less life experience and an emptier wallet should definitely worry that the person they are dating might easily lose interest but I think really... it depends on what stage of life you catch that date. He should hope he catches her/him in that phase where they take other people's shit because they think they can make things work and find being treated awfully intriguing.
May 06 13 07:03 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Will Snizek Photography
Posts: 1,387
Beckley, West Virginia, US


Looks very rarely matter when it comes to finding a woman to date or marry.  Women like confidence and like it if you have skills.  Money matters to a degree, but you only need lots of money if you are looking for a gold digger. 

If you are confident and be yourself, you will find the right match.  It's pretty simple.
May 06 13 07:11 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Fotographia Fantastique
Posts: 17,324
Lebanon, New Hampshire, US


Interestingly, I read somewhere that studies are beginning to show on a societal level that looks are becoming more important to women than they have ever been in the past. (The speculation is that this has something to do with the leveling of income disparity - but no one really knows for sure)
May 06 13 07:16 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Babalon Salome
Posts: 3,499
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany


Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I was wondering. If a guy had above average looks, had a good paying job, had a nice place of his own, and was charming, how much of an asshole would he need to be to nearly always get rejected?

Then he probably secretly - or not so secretly - hates/despises women (and of course himself - which has nothing to do with what kind of job a guy has, or how handsome he is). Most women can sense that immediately and won't go near that guy. (Something for the OP to consider, maybe?)

Either that or he is self-sabotaging for some other reason.

And for the record, I don't care if a guy has money or not, never have, never will. I generally do not care about money. But I do want a man who has drive, ambition, spirit, who isn't a bum.

May 06 13 07:17 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 16,096
New York, New York, US


Babalon Salome wrote:
Then he probably secretly - or not so secretly - hates/despises women (and of course himself - which has nothing to do with what kind of job a guy has, or how handsome he is). Most women can sense that immediately and won't go near that guy. (Something for the OP to consider, maybe?)

Either that or he is self-sabotaging for some other reason.

And for the record, I don't care if a guy has money or not, never have, never will. I generally do not care about money. But I do want a man who has drive, ambition, spirit, who isn't a bum.

Last paragraph all the way.

...and the ones that try to land the opportunistic drones and complain about it, you get exactly what you wanted.

May 06 13 07:57 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
L A F
Posts: 8,324
Davenport, Iowa, US


Great looking with a good job doesn't mean jackshit to me if you're an asshole.  Not gonna happen...ever.

That being said, the person I do date has to be a motivated person, that I'm attracted to (and that varies), and someone that I feel an actual connection with. 

EDIT: Living with mom and dad because you just finished up your degree and are looking for a place to live?  That's fine.  Living at home with mom and dad when could move out?  No bueno.  Taking a low paying job you hate while looking for another one?  Perfectly fine.  Consistently bitching about working a low paying job while doing nothing to change the situation?  Nope, won't date that guy.

It all depends.
May 06 13 09:06 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mad Hatter Imagery
Posts: 1,298
Buffalo, New York, US


Jules NYC wrote:
...and to add:

You're not going to find 'it' by asking the same thing over and over in MM threads. It's as if your threads have a constant theme.

Well gosh, I thought we was friends. lol. And I was hoping most people would take a more insightful approach to answering the question. It isn't about me so much as to determine how much of as asshole a guy can be to be rejected versus how awesome a guy needs to be to overcome the worth case scenerios. I'd like to think a guy doesn't need to be too amazing to compensate for some shortcomings versus the opposite of only being a slight asshole despite having all that and a bag of chips. I'd like to think all is fairly moderate. And you're right about MM being too unscientific a place to ask these questions which I'm sure all single guys and girls think about when they determine their own value.

May 06 13 05:19 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mad Hatter Imagery
Posts: 1,298
Buffalo, New York, US


Carl Roberts wrote:

I totally disagree with this

I'm very much a 2/10 in the looks department
But I routinely date 9/10 up to and including 12/10's
In fact almost exclusively 8/10 or better

And I do exceptionally well at it

But I'm a charming fellow and I bring more to the table than just looks

You go boyyy!!  12 out of 10 huh? That's like turning the stereo up to 11. lol.

May 06 13 05:21 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mad Hatter Imagery
Posts: 1,298
Buffalo, New York, US


Fotographia Fantastique wrote:
Interestingly, I read somewhere that studies are beginning to show on a societal level that looks are becoming more important to women than they have ever been in the past. (The speculation is that this has something to do with the leveling of income disparity - but no one really knows for sure)

That is interesting. I suspected as much however. By "leveling of income" do you mean the disparity is becoming greater or less great?

May 06 13 05:24 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
C h a r l e s D
Posts: 9,304
Los Angeles, California, US


You know, even though Model Mayhem isn't a dating site, if you weren't so...you, you might find someone pretty easily.  Like a female photographer.  But, you're you...so...
May 06 13 05:28 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mad Hatter Imagery
Posts: 1,298
Buffalo, New York, US


Laura Ann - Fashion wrote:
Great looking with a good job doesn't mean jackshit to me if you're an asshole.  Not gonna happen...ever.

That being said, the person I do date has to be a motivated person, that I'm attracted to (and that varies), and someone that I feel an actual connection with. 

EDIT: Living with mom and dad because you just finished up your degree and are looking for a place to live?  That's fine.  Living at home with mom and dad when could move out?  No bueno.  Taking a low paying job you hate while looking for another one?  Perfectly fine.  Consistently bitching about working a low paying job while doing nothing to change the situation?  Nope, won't date that guy.

It all depends.

I can appreciate most of what you say here, however how many good jobs are there out there? I seriously don't know too many people that can afford to live without roommates among my friends. Some of them are quite ambitious. There just doesn't appear to be many jobs to keep the people I know anyway above the poverty level. lol. Only those of my friends that have businesses (apparently successful ones that they've mentioned) are able to make the kind of progress in life that most want. But there is a real drought of jobs that pay people humane incomes (Fuck Republicans).

May 06 13 05:29 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mad Hatter Imagery
Posts: 1,298
Buffalo, New York, US


C h a r l e s  D wrote:
You know, even though Model Mayhem isn't a dating site, if you weren't so...you, you might find someone pretty easily.  Like a female photographer.  But, you're you...so...

Well that wasn't necessary.

May 06 13 05:31 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 24,529
Tampa, Florida, US


Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

I can appreciate most of what you say here, however how many good jobs are there out there? I seriously don't know too many people that can afford to live without roommates among my friends. Some of them are quite ambitious. There just doesn't appear to be many jobs to keep the people I know anyway above the poverty level. lol. Only those of my friends that have businesses (apparently successful ones that they've mentioned) are able to make the kind of progress in life that most want. But there is a real drought of jobs that pay people humane incomes (Fuck Republicans).

Blaming government for your problems is going to get this thread locked(zero tolerance for political posts these days)
And if you can't find a good paying job in a place with a horrificly high cost of living,move
I did this in 2000,got my ass off of Long Island(probably one of the few good decisions I have made in my adult life)

May 06 13 06:10 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
L A F
Posts: 8,324
Davenport, Iowa, US


Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

I can appreciate most of what you say here, however how many good jobs are there out there? I seriously don't know too many people that can afford to live without roommates among my friends. Some of them are quite ambitious. There just doesn't appear to be many jobs to keep the people I know anyway above the poverty level. lol. Only those of my friends that have businesses (apparently successful ones that they've mentioned) are able to make the kind of progress in life that most want. But there is a real drought of jobs that pay people humane incomes (Fuck Republicans).

I'm fine with roommates, I'll be moving in with a friend at the end of next month in an attempt to cut down on bills, so I totally understand there.  I also know several people though that have chosen to stay at home with mom and dad because their parents take care of their food, their laundry, etc.  Although they have the means to move out (the QC isn't very expensive at all...$500 a month for rent), they choose not to because they'd be forced to actual maintain a living space and nice conditions instead of relying on their parents to do so.

And it's not that a person has to have a great job, not at all, they just have to be trying for more.  My ex was a guy that worked retail, complained about it every day, but bitched that school was worthless and never looked for other work.  Of course, when we broke up, he decided school was worth it...but that's a whole other story.

I know the job market, I've found myself searching for supplemental income, and I realize there aren't many options whatsoever.  So I understand working a job you hate for as long as you need to...what I don't understand is becoming passive about it, throwing your hands in the air, and saying "I give up!"  Plus, 30k around here goes a long way, so a 'well paying job' isn't impossible to find, it just may take a while.

May 06 13 06:21 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Orca Bay Images
Posts: 32,233
Lodi, California, US


Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I can appreciate most of what you say here, however how many good jobs are there out there? I seriously don't know too many people that can afford to live without roommates among my friends. Some of them are quite ambitious. There just doesn't appear to be many jobs to keep the people I know anyway above the poverty level. lol. Only those of my friends that have businesses (apparently successful ones that they've mentioned) are able to make the kind of progress in life that most want. But there is a real drought of jobs that pay people humane incomes (Fuck Republicans).

Time to lock this thread. No more Soapbox, right, mods?

May 06 13 07:08 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mad Hatter Imagery
Posts: 1,298
Buffalo, New York, US


Orca Bay Images wrote:

Time to lock this thread. No more Soapbox, right, mods?

You are welcome to not post in my threads if they don't interest you.

May 06 13 07:18 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
IMAGINERIES
Posts: 634
New York, New York, US


Egomaniac self centered boring men and women with no sense of humour are, no matter how good looking they are, are boring in bed and out of bed, 24 hours a day.
May 06 13 07:33 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
tonyfromsyracuse
Posts: 374
Syracuse, New York, US


the dating situation is very dismal for women.
feel sorry for them. not men.with women... their looks fade really fast and they start running out of options. and western culture is very youth craving.
so women get despondant when their looks fall, and their men cheat on them.
its just what guys do. all of them. the ones that arent...arent good looking.
chris rock is correct when he says, a man is only as faithful as his options.

if a hot young woman hits on a guy married to some old 40 year old, the man is going to cheat.

the point I am making is that womens reign of terror is a short one. their days of calling the shots, turns to one of sorrow,and daytime tv shows and plastic surgery and a drinking problem.

but it isnt all bad cause the men arent in the same boat. men can be in their 50's and still banging secretarys and flight attendants.because western culture is rightfully more forgiving of men as compared to old women from mid 30's onwards. but the good news for women is they can channel this dissapointment into being good mothers who are there for their children.
May 06 13 07:43 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Big A-Larger Than Life
Posts: 33,410
The Woodlands, Texas, US


tonyfromsyracuse wrote:
the dating situation is very dismal for women.
feel sorry for them. not men.with women... their looks fade really fast and they start running out of options. and western culture is very youth craving.
so women get despondant when their looks fall, and their men cheat on them.
its just what guys do. all of them. the ones that arent...arent good looking.
chris rock is correct when he says, a man is only as faithful as his options.

if a hot young woman hits on a guy married to some old 40 year old, the man is going to cheat.

the point I am making is that womens reign of terror is a short one. their days of calling the shots, turns to one of sorrow,and daytime tv shows and plastic surgery and a drinking problem.

but it isnt all bad cause the men arent in the same boat. men can be in their 50's and still banging secretarys and flight attendants.because western culture is rightfully more forgiving of men as compared to old women from mid 30's onwards. but the good news for women is they can channel this dissapointment into being good mothers who are there for their children.

Lol wowwwwww you're so off base here omg.  You make it sound like we should just off ourselves when the Botox is no longer powerful enough to make every dick want to snuggle in our pockets anymore.  Because that's the whole worth and meaning of life for girls, right?  If we're not full of dicks every day, our entire life is unfulfilled?

You have much to learn about the territory north of the vajayjay, kind sir.

May 06 13 08:25 pm  Link  Quote 
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