Overall, I think it looks pretty good. The one thing that stuck out at me was you lost quite a bit of texture in the skin. When I look at the master retouchers, they all have extremely textured skin, so those of us who are still striving to master the art probably should follow suit. I don't really care for the skin tone, but I didn't like the original tone, either, and you definitely made the color look more intentionally stylized, so it works. Color is absolutely subjective, and you need to make it look good to you, since many people will have different opinions on what looks good.
These are just my very humble two cents. I am by no means an accomplished retoucher and am very much still learning. However, I hate it when no one responds to a request for a critique, so I figured mine might be better than nothing.