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Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Has anyone ever outgrown their friends? This has happened to me recently.. I didn't have a problem with them or anything, but all they cared about was getting drunk every night, doing cocaine, and the next frat party. I lived with them this past year in a house and I used to be a big partier when we first met, and about 40 pounds heavier than I am now. But I was hospitalized twice from alcohol and almost died both times. So I had to stop drinking while living in a house of huge partiers that were all friends of mine. They made fun of me for it, would constantly try to make me drink, and I never would and would politely decline. They never cared to supporty decision. They also made little jabs at me for attending all of my classes and studying constantly. And once I made the decision to start modeling this spring semester and started working out and eating very strictly healthy foods, they just got plain mean and would try to say I had an eating disorder, etc. (I never told them I was trying to model... they found out through Facebook once I got representation, lol) I also would drive them everywhere and pick them up late at night when they called drunk at the bars.. I feel like I did a lot for them and only got scrutinized for my healthy decisions, when I never told them they should stop drinking, doing blow, failing classes, etc.. I moved out point blank and made up a lame excuse. I was just tired of putting up with it and made the decision they were probably toxic to my life. I am happy that I am signed to an agency now and achieved my goal, but at the same time I feel bad just dropping people out of my life. I wasn't mean to them, didnt tell them how I felt, I just point blank told them I was moving out. Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? I know deep down inside I made the right decision but at yhe same time it kind of feels weird having no friends.
Jun 13 13 04:55 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Cherrystone
Posts: 35,962
Columbus, Ohio, US


courtney virginia  wrote:
Has anyone ever outgrown their friends? This has happened to me recently.. I didn't have a problem with them or anything, but all they cared about was getting drunk every night, doing cocaine, and the next frat party. I lived with them this past year in a house and I used to be a big partier when we first met, and about 40 pounds heavier than I am now. But I was hospitalized twice from alcohol and almost died both times. So I had to stop drinking while living in a house of huge partiers that were all friends of mine. They made fun of me for it, would constantly try to make me drink, and I never would and would politely decline. They never cared to supporty decision. They also made little jabs at me for attending all of my classes and studying constantly. And once I made the decision to start modeling this spring semester and started working out and eating very strictly healthy foods, they just got plain mean and would try to say I had an eating disorder, etc. (I never told them I was trying to model... they found out through Facebook once I got representation, lol) I also would drive them everywhere and pick them up late at night when they called drunk at the bars.. I feel like I did a lot for them and only got scrutinized for my healthy decisions, when I never told them they should stop drinking, doing blow, failing classes, etc.. I moved out point blank and made up a lame excuse. I was just tired of putting up with it and made the decision they were probably toxic to my life. I am happy that I am signed to an agency now and achieved my goal, but at the same time I feel bad just dropping people out of my life. I wasn't mean to them, didnt tell them how I felt, I just point blank told them I was moving out. Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? I know deep down inside I made the right decision but at yhe same time it kind of feels weird having no friends.

Outgrowing friends stops for only a few choice folks along the way.

Jun 13 13 04:57 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
P I X I E
Posts: 35,251
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Yep. I 'broke up' with my best friend a few years ago. It hurts, but it had to be done.

Back in 2006 she got a boyfriend, and started hanging out with me less and less, and when she did, it was always with him. Then on my birthday, she called me to ask me if I wanted to go to a bar. Later on that same day, she called me back to cancel, because she wanted to stay home with her boyfriend.

Ditched on my birthday by my so-called best friend? Yeah, that sucks. Big time. I did not deserve that. A few years later when she had broken up with her boyfriend she started paying attention to me again. But it was too late. I haven't spoken to her in years.

My parents thought I was being mean and unfair. That I should give her a second chance. But the thing is, we were growing apart. Different interests and values that clashed with mine. It wasn't fun times like in high school.
Jun 13 13 05:02 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Jeffrey M Fletcher
Posts: 4,314
Asheville, North Carolina, US


Hospitalized twice? While it may not be entirely apparent right now, if you can keep up the healthier habits you may be in the process of outliving your friends.
Jun 13 13 05:03 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


P I X I E wrote:
Yep. I 'broke up' with my best friend a few years ago. It hurts, but it had to be done.

Back in 2006 she got a boyfriend, and started hanging out with me less and less, and when she did, it was always with him. Then on my birthday, she called me to ask me if I wanted to go to a bar. Later on that same day, she called me back to cancel, because she wanted to stay home with her boyfriend.

Ditched on my birthday by my so-called best friend? Yeah, that sucks. Big time. I did not deserve that. A few years later when she had broken up with her boyfriend she started paying attention to me again. But it was too late. I haven't spoken to her in years.

My parents thought I was being mean and unfair. That I should give her a second chance. But the thing is, we were growing apart. Different interests and values that clashed with mine. It wasn't fun times like in high school.

Yeah. I can't blame you at all. Once values change and you don't enjoy being around them anymore/ have anything in common, its like this sad feeling that you know you probably have to drift or just keep suffering through pretending like you enjoy hanging out with them.. it takes a lot of energy. I began to make more and more excuses to stop hanging out with them because I simply didn't enjoy it anymore. It became like a chore and I felt taken advantage of.

You made the right decision for sure. If she can put a guy before you on your BIRTHDAY which is one day of a year just because she didn't 'feel like it' that's just completely unnacceptable.

Jun 13 13 05:08 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Carlos Occidental
Posts: 10,544
Pasadena, California, US


I had a friend from childhood up through 35 years old.  When I moved to Albuquerque, NM, then back to LA area, I had him as a roommate for around 8 years. 

He's really cheap.  He'd ask to go with me to the grocery store, then had me drive him all over town to do his errands, even though he has a nice car.
I bought him lunch and dinner on many, many occasions, and spotted him for ten to twenty dollar purchases all the time when he was cash poor in his wallet and didn't want to go to the bank.  If I borrowed 2 bucks from the guy, he'd demand it back the instant we got home. 
He'd sit in his room for 10 hours at a time, get bored, then come downstairs looking for an argument.  No matter how nice I tried to be, he'd get argumentative and really, really grumpy.  No conversation could be had with him without an argument. 
He's a know it all, and can't be questioned, ever, about his vast knowledge of everything, which certainly didn't help in conversations.  Even when he was blatantly wrong.  One of the last conversations we had was him trying to convince me that sardines and herring are the same fish.  Not wanting to have yet another argument, I just said, "Oh, really." and left the room.
He asked if I'd help him move when it was time to move out.  I said, sure, but I'll fill my car at the start, help you move, then you can fill it up when we're done. 

I never heard from him again. 

After having great other childhood friends, and other friends in NM who weren't cheap, and who didn't HAVE to have an argument every conversation, I haven't missed him a bit.  Not one freakin' bit.

Oh, he also tried to steal my girlfriend.  Told her I was certainly going to dump her in time and that I wasn't worth shit, and that she should date him instead.  She's now my wife.  That was forgivable because he was so pathetic, but didn't help things.
Jun 13 13 05:08 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Carlos Occidental wrote:
I had a friend from childhood up through 35 years old.  When I moved to Albuquerque, NM, then back to LA area, I had him as a roommate for around 8 years. 

He's really cheap.  He'd ask to go with me to the grocery store, then had me drive him all over town to do his errands, even though he has a nice car.
I bought him lunch and dinner on many, many occasions, and spotted him for ten to twenty dollar purchases all the time when he was cash poor in his wallet and didn't want to go to the bank.  If I borrowed 2 bucks from the guy, he'd demand it back the instant we got home. 
He'd sit in his room for 10 hours at a time, get bored, then come downstairs looking for an argument.  No matter how nice I tried to be, he'd get argumentative and really, really grumpy.  No conversation could be had with him without an argument. 
He's a know it all, and can't be questioned, ever, about his vast knowledge of everything, which certainly didn't help in conversations.  Even when he was blatantly wrong.  One of the last conversations we had was him trying to convince me that sardines and herring are the same fish.  Not wanting to have yet another argument, I just said, "Oh, really." and left the room.
He asked if I'd help him move when it was time to move out.  I said, sure, but I'll fill my car at the start, help you move, then you can fill it up when we're done. 

I never heard from him again. 

After having great other childhood friends, and other friends in NM who weren't cheap, and who didn't HAVE to have an argument every conversation, I haven't missed him a bit.  Not one freakin' bit.

Oh, he also tried to steal my girlfriend.  Told her I was going to dump her and I wasn't worth shit, and that she should date him instead.  She's now my wife.  That was forgivable because he was so pathetic, but didn't help things.

Yikes. Sounds very similar to certain aspects of my situation . You really learn a lot about people once you start living with them.

It will be a while.before I let people get too close in my life again.

I'm glad you are happy now though and saw through him! It is so hard to stop denying what your gut keeps telling you when they are some of your only close friends. So kudos.

Jun 13 13 05:13 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
P I X I E
Posts: 35,251
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


courtney virginia  wrote:

Yeah. I can't blame you at all. Once values change and you don't enjoy being around them anymore/ have anything in common, its like this sad feeling that you know you probably have to drift or just keep suffering through pretending like you enjoy hanging out with them.. it takes a lot of energy. I began to make more and more excuses to stop hanging out with them because I simply didn't enjoy it anymore. It became like a chore and I felt taken advantage of.

You made the right decision for sure. If she can put a guy before you on your BIRTHDAY which is one day of a year just because she didn't 'feel like it' that's just completely unnacceptable.

That's what happened to me too. I started looking for excuses. It was draining so much energy from me... Pretending to care for whatever she'd tell me and stuff. No. Not worth it.

The time she ditched me on my fucking birthday, of all days, hurt like crazy. Oh and that 'friend' never tried apologizing, ever. When she broke up with her dude, she pretended like nothing happened. FUCK YOU. Am I really that stupid?

I have a new group of friends. I feel loved and appreciated and respected. Life is all about changes, and I'm glad I changed some things about my life: my neighbourhood, my group of friends.

Jun 13 13 05:15 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Dario Western
Posts: 618
Brisbane, Queensland, Australia


We all go through that.  I've outgrown many people more than I've had hot dinners almost to the point that I've become a basic misanthropist.  These are two great songs about outgrowing people and getting on with the rest of your life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJt2UVbrbUk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0mvl3ntt6E
Jun 13 13 05:18 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Wicked Photos
Posts: 7,549
New York, New York, US


totally.. but looking back at it, all we ever did was drink at the bar every week and it got old. i started working a lot and couldnt go out as much.

i recently saw some of them for the first time in about 3 years this past april. it was nice seeing them again. we all exchanged numbers but never made an effort to hang out. besides the fact that i was busy and couldnt do much, i just felt disconnected.

now i dont even know who my friends are or who i can trust.

i'd like to meet new people but it's hard.
Jun 13 13 05:18 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
P I X I E
Posts: 35,251
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Wicked Photos wrote:
i'd like to meet new people but it's hard.

My husband always introduces me to his friends. And a number of them became my friends as well.

Jun 13 13 05:21 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
sweet gamine
Posts: 372
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada


Friends don't: "make fun of you, insist a non-drinker drink, make little jabs and get just plain mean".
They were drinking buddies, not friends.

When you took control of your life, they made the expected comparisons between themselves and you and didn't like what they saw - in themselves.
Congratulations to you for getting yourself out from under a lose-lose situation. You are now unencumbered and can begin making some real friendships.
Jun 13 13 05:21 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


P I X I E wrote:

That's what happened to me too. I started looking for excuses. It was draining so much energy from me... Pretending to care for whatever she'd tell me and stuff. No. Not worth it.

The time she ditched me on my fucking birthday, of all days, hurt like crazy. Oh and that 'friend' never tried apologizing, ever. When she broke up with her dude, she pretended like nothing happened. FUCK YOU. Am I really that stupid?

I have a new group of friends. I feel loved and appreciated and respected. Life is all about changes, and I'm glad I changed some things about my life: my neighbourhood, my group of friends.

Good for you. So basicially she just contacted you when SHE needed you, but was okay not being there when YOU needed her... so typical.

My friends also gossipped a lot, and liked to talk shit about everyone behind their backs.. I really really don't like that. I just think its unnessecary, and very negative energy. Plus it bores me. I would rather talk about working towards something, or joke around with my friends... not try and hear the latest bullshit gossip that's probably not even true. I got bored with that subject matter around highschool, lol.

I feel a huge change coming on and have had a productive summer. I got signed on to the agemcy I wanted a week ago and am just waiting for my comp card to be set up so I can start getting work... til then I have more free time than I really want to think about how I basicially just dropped them from my life in a matter of a few days. I would go and hang out with them again,  but they also tried to steal money from me when short on rent by lying and saying I owed more.. my parents say I would be crazy to hang out with 'friends' who steal money from me... I'm pretty sure they are right.

No loss, really. Just still feels weird when such a big part of your life changes. Ready to meet some ambitious and intelligent friends who have their priorities and goals set.

Jun 13 13 05:24 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


sweet gamine wrote:
Friends don't: "make fun of you, insist a non-drinker drink, make little jabs and get just plain mean".
They were drinking buddies, not friends.

When you took control of your life, they made the expected comparisons between themselves and you and didn't like what they saw - in themselves.
Congratulations to you for getting yourself out from under a lose-lose situation. You are now unencumbered and can begin making some real friendships.

I think you are right. :-) I appreciate your post. I feel good deep down inside about it.. just different, that's all.

Jun 13 13 05:27 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Dario Western wrote:
We all go through that.  I've outgrown many people more than I've had hot dinners almost to the point that I've become a basic misanthropist.  These are two great songs about outgrowing people and getting on with the rest of your life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJt2UVbrbUk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0mvl3ntt6E

Thank you! I will check these out.

I often question if I have developed into a misanthropist myself.. I just have a very difficult time trusting people now that I'm older and more experienced. Sad but I suppose that is how you grow.

Jun 13 13 05:30 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Orca Bay Images
Posts: 32,233
Lodi, California, US


My best friend in high school (northern California) pretty much stayed mentally in high school. Though he played football in college and soon got married and had kids, he still hung out with high school kids. He ended up coaching sports but he still hung out with the high school kids socially. After a Mormon missionary tour in the Philippines, all he wanted to do was stay in the home town, lowride through town on the weekends and hang out with the kids dudes.

After a hitch in the military, I participated in sports but I tended to befriend the teammates who were engineering majors and math majors. We had ambitions and I couldn't wait to leave the area. A few years before I moved to Seattle he got divorced (his ego wouldn't allow her to work outside the home and she was climbing the walls). I'd gotten to be good friends with her and when I found out she got remarried I wanted to send her a card of congratulations; his family wouldn't give me her address. By the time I moved to Seattle my old buddy and I had completely lost touch.

That was twenty-four years ago. A few months back I decided to try reconnecting with him and looked him up on the web, but found out he died a year and a half ago.

He was still coaching up until his death.
Jun 13 13 05:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
rfordphotos
Posts: 4,609
Antioch, California, US


I think it is 100% normal.

I am over 60. I still have friends from HS, in fact one is coming to spend a week at the end of this month... But life, and the experiences you gain as you go, changes you and the way you see life- the same as your friends change as they gain experience.

I changed a LOT when I went in the military during the Vietnam war. I lost a lot of friends over my decision to enlist, and a lot more when I came back...We just had too many big events in our lives that we didnt share.

After I got back, finished school, and went to work, I ran with a bunch of single guys--partying in the bars, scheming on the ladies, drinking too much. Great fun. One by one, they got married, and dropped out. When I got married, I dropped out. When I got divorced, I rejoined a new group of newly single guys, and schemed on the ladies, and drank too much.

I tried to stay friends with my married buddies---but for the most part, their wives didnt trust me not to corrupt them, and they dropped out....

When I finally got tired of the bars, I lost track of my old drinking buddies...

One of the really nice things about getting old is you learn who your real friends are. The folks that have been in my life for 45+ years can be counted on....They are like gold to me, and I treat them that way... The newer friends have opened my eyes to new places, and new experiences, some will be with me till I die, some will drop by the wayside. I am ok with that.

Sounds to me like you handled the change pretty well---you didnt get all dramatic, and have a big scene, you just let life evolve and moved on.

You say it will be a while before you can let someone get close..... again, I think normal, but dont let yourself become too closed, too inflexible---you will make new friends, based on where you are in life, and they can and will make the whole experience that much richer, that much more fun.

And while life is serious, it should also be fun....
Jun 13 13 05:50 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


rfordphotos wrote:
I think it is 100% normal.

I am over 60. I still have friends from HS, in fact one is coming to spend a week at the end of this month... But life, and the experiences you gain as you go, changes you and the way you see life- the same as your friends change as they gain experience.

I changed a LOT when I went in the military during the Vietnam war. I lost a lot of friends over my decision to enlist, and a lot more when I came back...We just had too many big events in our lives that we didnt share.

After I got back, finished school, and went to work, I ran with a bunch of single guys--partying in the bars, scheming on the ladies, drinking too much. Great fun. One by one, they got married, and dropped out. When I got married, I dropped out. When I got divorced, I rejoined a new group of newly single guys, and schemed on the ladies, and drank too much.


I tried to stay friends with my married buddies---but for the most part, their wives didnt trust me not to corrupt them, and they dropped out....

When I finally got tired of the bars, I lost track of my old drinking buddies...

One of the really nice things about getting old is you learn who your real friends are. The folks that have been in my life for 45+ years can be counted on....They are like gold to me, and I treat them that way... The newer friends have opened my eyes to new places, and new experiences, some will be with me till I die, some will drop by the wayside. I am ok with that.

Sounds to me like you handled the change pretty well---you didnt get all dramatic, and have a big scene, you just let life evolve and moved on.

You say it will be a while before you can let someone get close..... again, I think normal, but dont let yourself become too closed, too inflexible---you will make new friends, based on where you are in life, and they can and will make the whole experience that much richer, that much more fun.

And while life is serious, it should also be fun....

I agree with everything you said 100%. It is remarkable how much you learn and your persepctive changes through the different experiences life deals you. It only makes sense that some of these life events, if not at all, happen for a specific reason. Thats what I'm beginning to believe, anyway.

Jun 13 13 06:15 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
scrymettet
Posts: 31,662
Quebec, Quebec, Canada


it's called growing up.
Staying a kid at heart is good, being an retarded  teen not that much.
Kudo of taking your life in your hands.
Jun 13 13 06:28 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,485
New York, New York, US


I can't be around people that don't care about their health...
Or mock what is important to me
Or try to make me feel unimportant.

Stagnant, in the same place with the same bullshit.

As far as almost dying...
After being very close to a guy that flatlined twice, had alcohol and drug problems, went to Rikers after getting arrested...
Serving jail time in CO -

That's enough.

If he pops up again wherever the fuck he is, I won't turn my back but having that distress that is not mine is enough.
Jun 13 13 07:09 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,485
New York, New York, US


scrymettet wrote:
it's called growing up.
Staying a kid at heart is good, being an retarded  teen not that much.
Kudo of taking your life in your hands.

This.

Jun 13 13 07:11 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
BlueMoonPics
Posts: 3,877
New York, New York, US


Sounds like your "friends" just wanted you to be a screwup like them.  You moved on and up but they stayed behind.  Good for you.

I never really had friends myself.  The few people that hung out with me were doing so because of what they could get out of me like driving them around and such.  Don't need people like that in my life.

Now I have no friends and I feel so absolutely free and happy.  I do what I want when I want with no one saying a thing. Priceless.
Jun 13 13 08:02 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


BlueMoonPics wrote:
Sounds like your "friends" just wanted you to be a screwup like them.  You moved on and up but they stayed behind.  Good for you.

I never really had friends myself.  The few people that hung out with me were doing so because of what they could get out of me like driving them around and such.  Don't need people like that in my life.

Now I have no friends and I feel so absolutely free and happy.  I do what I want when I want with no one saying a thing. Priceless.

This is exactly how I feel now. I love it. I love being able to be who I am and not have to answer to anyone about it. I also love not having to constantly make up excuses not to go to some stupis fake ass party they want me to drive them too.

Its liberating to me that I just walked away from them. But at the same time a part of me feels guilty. Not sure why.

Jun 14 13 06:16 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Jules NYC wrote:
I can't be around people that don't care about their health...
Or mock what is important to me
Or try to make me feel unimportant.

Stagnant, in the same place with the same bullshit.

As far as almost dying...
After being very close to a guy that flatlined twice, had alcohol and drug problems, went to Rikers after getting arrested...
Serving jail time in CO -

That's enough.

If he pops up again wherever the fuck he is, I won't turn my back but having that distress that is not mine is enough.

Stagnant.. yes that is exactly the word for it. They don't want to grow and develop themselves in any form or fashion.

I'm soo glad I'm not the only who has a hard time tolerating this.

Jun 14 13 06:18 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,485
New York, New York, US


courtney virginia  wrote:

Stagnant.. yes that is exactly the word for it. They don't want to grow and develop themselves in any form or fashion.

I'm soo glad I'm not the only who has a hard time tolerating this.

Sadly, I have had 'friends' that always wanted something from me. In the end, I felt used.

These days I keep to myself. I still believe that there are good people in the world, but mostly not. As you get older you will realize that very few people truly care about your life.

It it a curse being nice but I'm glad I genuinely am.

Almost dying is extremely serious. Any 'friend' that would encourage a scenario where your life was in danger is outrageous. Good for you that you left that toxic crowd. They didn't respect their own lives.

Jun 14 13 06:36 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Jules NYC wrote:

Sadly, I have had 'friends' that always wanted something from me. In the end, I felt used.

These days I keep to myself. I still believe that there are good people in the world, but mostly not. As you get older you will realize that very few people truly care about your life.

It it a curse being nice but I'm glad I genuinely am.

Almost dying is extremely serious. Any 'friend' that would encourage a scenario where your life was in danger is outrageous. Good for you that you left that toxic crowd. They didn't respect their own lives.

Agreed. That is the sad truth. You have to look after yourself, and I feel like I did that by moving out.

They were toxic to my goals and dreams and not supportive. Who needs that?

I enjoy having no friends for now... it allows me more time with people who actually care for me (my family) and to focus on my career/school.

Jun 14 13 06:43 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,485
New York, New York, US


courtney virginia  wrote:

Agreed. That is the sad truth. You have to look after yourself, and I feel like I did that by moving out.

They were toxic to my goals and dreams and not supportive. Who needs that?

I enjoy having no friends for now... it allows me more time with people who actually care for me (my family) and to focus on my career/school.

What a great lesson to learn now than later.
I bet you will attract real friends into your life.

Fantastic.
Happy for you.
smile

Jun 14 13 06:47 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Cherrystone
Posts: 35,962
Columbus, Ohio, US


courtney virginia  wrote:

Agreed. That is the sad truth. You have to look after yourself, and I feel like I did that by moving out.

They were toxic to my goals and dreams and not supportive. Who needs that?

Guard against the unguarded moment......folks generally don't get the lesson hammered home after only one lesson. wink

If you do, super.

Jun 14 13 06:58 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mortonovich
Posts: 5,232
San Diego, California, US


"Show me your friends and I'll show you your future."


So true and I wish I had learned it long ago.
Jun 14 13 07:00 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,485
New York, New York, US


Cherrystone wrote:

Guard against the unguarded moment......folks generally don't get the lesson hammered home after only one lesson. wink

If you do, super.

Wise words

Jun 14 13 07:00 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,485
New York, New York, US


ChiMo wrote:
"Show me your friends and I'll show you your future."


So true and I wish I had learned it long ago.

Shit, I better start counting on me and only me for my future.

Jun 14 13 07:02 am  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Anna Adrielle
Posts: 18,762
Antwerp, Antwerp, Belgium


yes, sometimes you outgrow your friends. however, I wouldn't say that's the case with you. Mainly because I wouldn't call these people friends in the first place. Come on, really? They're a bunch of douchebags, who want the worst for you. People like that aren't friends.
Jun 14 13 07:20 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Jules NYC wrote:

Shit, I better start counting on me and only me for my future.

Lol. Me too!

Jun 14 13 07:21 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Anna Adrielle wrote:
yes, sometimes you outgrow your friends. however, I wouldn't say that's the case with you. Mainly because I wouldn't call these people friends in the first place. Come on, really? They're a bunch of douchebags, who want the worst for you. People like that aren't friends.

Yeah. You're right. I started to look at them and wander why we were even friends in the first place. Then I remembered, you used to drink and party with them... as someone said above this they were drinking buddies and that alone.

Jun 14 13 07:23 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,485
New York, New York, US


courtney virginia  wrote:

Lol. Me too!

...and the beautiful thing about it is,

When you have genuine friends surrounding you that care about their life and yours equally, you still can count on yourself.

Jun 14 13 07:28 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Jules NYC wrote:

...and the beautiful thing about it is,

When you have genuine friends surrounding you that care about their life and yours equally, you still can count on yourself.

Maybe one day my career or degree will lead me to those kinds of people.. for now, its just myself though.

Jun 14 13 07:41 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Jules NYC
Posts: 15,485
New York, New York, US


courtney virginia  wrote:
Maybe one day my career or degree will lead me to those kinds of people.. for now, its just myself though.

I am in the same place and there is nothing wrong with that.

Just keep being true & authentic to yourself and the right people will come.

Like that movie 'Field Of Dreams' and the baseball field/players are your life/friends.

smile

Jun 14 13 07:52 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Cree Synster
Posts: 239
Milledgeville, Georgia, US


Yeah, my high school friends I pretty much "out grew." We used to talk constantly, have a lot of sleep overs, and just be good friends. However, after graduating high school, it was like everyone suddenly dropped off the planet. I tried texting and calling them many a times over that summer and while I was in college. I MAYBE got someone back to me once or twice, but that was it. There was kind of a "strain" on our friendship though since about 10th grade. One of my friends literally became a slut, and it drove me and another friend away from her, because of her promiscuous habits (she also got involved with some hush-hush type things).

It happens and often times, it's for the better. Another "friend" (he was more of an acquaintance) of mine was always kind of a more "edgy/bad guy" type guy. I never found those men to be attractive for the obvious reasons, but he was generally and 'ok' dude, so I hung around him. He had a HUGE crush on me (kind of obvious, even when he was supposedly "engaged" to another girl) and did a lot of different drugs. That was the main reason (the drugs) that I kept my distance from him. He would randomly text me at god knows what hour at night (I suspect between 3 am and 6 AM, I turn my phone off when I go to bed) saying (in very short/text speak might I add) "Guess what, I'm out of jail :DDDDDD" hmm Dude, why......urg.  It was obvious he kept trying to impress me with his psychology classes whenever we did hang out together and it got irritating. We once were texting all casually and he asked me what I considered flirting and I told him just simple things like winks, kisses, things like that. He starts texting me NASTY things over text messages (no pictures, thank god) which really was the straw that broke the camels back for me. No, I don't want to feel like I'm talking to a horny, in heat dog.
Jun 14 13 08:11 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Courtney Virginia
Posts: 201
Atlanta, Georgia, US


Synster Veronica wrote:
Yeah, my high school friends I pretty much "out grew." We used to talk constantly, have a lot of sleep overs, and just be good friends. However, after graduating high school, it was like everyone suddenly dropped off the planet. I tried texting and calling them many a times over that summer and while I was in college. I MAYBE got someone back to me once or twice, but that was it. There was kind of a "strain" on our friendship though since about 10th grade. One of my friends literally became a slut, and it drove me and another friend away from her, because of her promiscuous habits (she also got involved with some hush-hush type things).

It happens and often times, it's for the better. Another "friend" (he was more of an acquaintance) of mine was always kind of a more "edgy/bad guy" type guy. I never found those men to be attractive for the obvious reasons, but he was generally and 'ok' dude, so I hung around him. He had a HUGE crush on me (kind of obvious, even when he was supposedly "engaged" to another girl) and did a lot of different drugs. That was the main reason (the drugs) that I kept my distance from him. He would randomly text me at god knows what hour at night (I suspect between 3 am and 6 AM, I turn my phone off when I go to bed) saying (in very short/text speak might I add) "Guess what, I'm out of jail :DDDDDD" hmm Dude, why......urg.  It was obvious he kept trying to impress me with his psychology classes whenever we did hang out together and it got irritating. We once were texting all casually and he asked me what I considered flirting and I told him just simple things like winks, kisses, things like that. He starts texting me NASTY things over text messages (no pictures, thank god) which really was the straw that broke the camels back for me. No, I don't want to feel like I'm talking to a horny, in heat dog.

This happened to me with a different group of friends, my highschool friends. It was a little different circumstances than how my college friends and I have drifted.

I also do not like it when guys try to send me sexual texts. It gets very annoying and irritating.

Jun 14 13 08:18 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Christopher Hartman
Posts: 53,730
Buena Park, California, US


I don't think you're outgrowing these friends. I think you're realizing they are dangerous assholes that don't give a shit about you.
Jun 14 13 08:19 am  Link  Quote 
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